


Fifty Days

by sashocirrione



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Awkward Conversations, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bittersweet, Blindfolds, Bondage, Bribery, Captivity, Character Study, Christmas, Claustrophobia, Coma, Cosplay, Crossdressing, Disability, Disturbing Themes, Drowning, Drugs, Dysfunctional Family, Enemas, F/M, Fake Marriage, Family Drama, First Time, Fluff, Food Sex, Forced Relationship, Gross, Hacking, Hallucinations, Hand Job, Homelessness, Hostage Situation, Humiliation, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Law Enforcement, Loss of Virginity, Massage, Masturbation, Meet the Family, Mental Illness, Mind Games, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Character(s), Murder, Mystery, Oral Sex, Organized Crime, PTSD, Paddling, Panic Attack, Paparazzi, Plotty, Pregnancy, Prostitution, Rape Recovery, Religious Themes & References, Sad, Sexual Abuse, Sickfic, Snow and Ice, Snowball Fight, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicide, Surgery, Suspense, Torture, Virginity, Vomiting, Wakes & Funerals, What-If, Yakuza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-19
Updated: 2010-11-24
Packaged: 2017-10-12 19:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 42
Words: 188,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/128402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sashocirrione/pseuds/sashocirrione
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>L has won, and Light is now a useless blabbering idiot who can't do anything other than the controlled actions L wrote down for him, so Misa decides to take L prisoner and get some revenge. Mind games, bondage and manipulation. Has L underestimated Misa, or has Misa underestimated L? This is a sick, twisted LxMisa, not nice. There are two distinct halves to this fic. The first half is focused on captivity and torture, with elements of suspense. The second half is a plotty mystery leading to a big climax. There are moments of fluff but overall this is a fairly dark fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day One

**Title:** "Fifty Days"

 **Author:** Sashocirrione

 **Spoilers:** MAJOR Spoilers for everything up to chapter 58 of the manga and episode 25 of the anime. Spoiler for L's real name. Minor spoilers for the entire second half of the series (for example, if you don't know who Mello and Near are, this will spoil you a little).

 **Warnings:** NO UNDERAGE READERS. Rated M for a reason. Sexual activities, swearing, violence. Torture. Bondage. Rape-like situation with serious sexual abuse and consent issues. Suicide. Extremely gross in one or two scenes. Foodplay. Not my usual fluffy ending. Religious themes.

 **Summary:** L has won, and Light is now a useless blabbering idiot who can't do anything other than the controlled actions L wrote down for him, so Misa decides to take L prisoner and get some revenge. Mind games, bondage and manipulation. Has L underestimated Misa, or has Misa underestimated L? This is a sick, twisted LxMisa, not nice. There are two distinct halves to this fic. The first half is focused on captivity and torture, with elements of suspense. The second half is a plotty mystery leading to a big climax. There are moments of fluff but overall this is a fairly dark fic.

 **Pairing:** LxMisa

 **Additional Notes:** All canon events previous to anime episode 25 (manga chapter 57-58) have occurred as normal.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

* * *

 **CHAPTER 1: Day One**

When L regained consciousness, he couldn't move or see. He struggled, and from the feeling of his bindings he thought he was probably in a straightjacket. A blindfold smothered and enclosed most of his face. He could feel air on his legs from just above his knees downwards, and although there were straps across his crotch to bind his thighs, he could feel more air circulation in that area than was normal with pants. He guessed he was wearing a hospital gown or something similar. As far as his position, he was upright, almost in a standing posture, and he could feel something behind him that he was strapped to.

From what L could deduce, he thought he was in exactly the same sort of restraints that he had put Misa in when he first captured her. Misa! This was all her fault! L thought back over recent events, trying to figure out where he went wrong. Underestimating Misa was the biggest mistake, but even if he hadn't underestimated Misa, the shinigami would have still proven to be an unexpected danger. L had known he was in a desperate situation, that's why he'd written Light's name down along with instructions that Light would honestly and completely confess his misdeeds, but L hadn't realized just how desperate the situation really was, with two Kiras and a shinigami all working against him.

When Light failed to meet with Misa in front of the investigation building, she had launched a plan the two of them had already agreed on. Every investigator except L and Watari died at the same moment that a mob of people a few thousand strong surrounded the building. Rem had announced then that she was on Misa's side and that this was a contingency plan and any attempt to resist would result in exceptionally painful controlled deaths for both L and Watari.

Light had just sat on the floor laughing as he endlessly confessed every bad thing he'd ever done - including the Kira murders along with spitballs he'd launched in class as a kid and candy he'd stolen from his sister. The mob broke through all the security doors with axes, rendering all the checkpoints and retina scanners and metal detectors useless. Then the mob rushed into the building and grabbed L and Watari. L had expected that his face was being exposed to some camera and then he would die, but instead he was injected with something that made him lose consciousness. Next, he'd woken up in these restraints that probably were the very same ones he'd used on Misa. He wondered if it was the same interrogation room as well.

L didn't want to give any satisfaction to his captors. If they realized he was awake, they might start in on torture right away. On the other hand, he couldn't feign unconsciousness forever, and the sooner he started interacting the sooner he might get a way to think himself out of the situation. Who was holding him? Misa? The mass of rioters that had broken into the investigation center? Perhaps Light, if he had managed to create a loophole in the details of death L had written down?

Tentatively, L called out, "Misa? Anyone? May I be told why I am here?"

A voice said, "L Lawliet, you have sinned against the god of the new world."

It was L's voice, and the speaker knew his real name. Well, it was L's electronic voice modulator. There was no way to be sure of who was on the other end, except that it couldn't be Light. Light was unable to stop confessing his misdeeds except when he needed to attend to bodily functions or his voice started to give out. Unless, perhaps, Light was eating or sitting on a toilet right now while he talked.

"You bastard," the voice said, "you've killed Light, and his remaining life is a torment. All he does is sleep, eat, go to the bathroom and confess what he's done. He won't even consummate our relationship."

"Misa," L said, "from what I know about Light, I'm sure he was planning to kill you the moment you stopped being useful to him or that you became any kind of liability. I saved your life as well as my own."

L heard a sob over the voice modulator, and then Misa said, "He has said that. It's your fault he's saying those things."

L said, "Misa, read what I wrote in the notebook. I did specify honesty. Whatever he is telling you now is the truth."

Misa quietly said, "I know, and I would have been willing to die for him. You messed things up. It shouldn't be him dying so I live. It should be the other way around."

"Misa," L said, "what do you plan for me?"

Misa said, "You'll stay like this for as long as I did. Everything you did to me, I'll do to you, including asking you questions you don't know the answer to and accusing you of being Kira over and over. Maybe I'll even make it worse for you than it was for me. Then, when the fifty days are up, I'll decide what to do. I might write down a very painful and humiliating death for you. Maybe I should force you to masturbate in public, somewhere thousands of people can see you, on a stage or on live television."

L sighed. He didn't really care what other people thought of him. Public shame was bad, but it wasn't what he truly feared. If he was going to die anyway, he preferred it to be painless. L hoped Misa was not too sadistic or creative. But, her plan gave him hope. If she intended to keep him like this for fifty days, she wouldn't be able to write his name down until 23 days from the end of that period. From the Yotsuba data, it was clear Higuchi couldn't kill further than 23 days into the future. So, L had at least 27 days, perhaps longer, to figure out how to escape.

But, escaping was not the real issue. Even if L got out of his restraints and then out of whatever place he was in, Misa had two death notes and knew his name, so she could just kill him. Even if L managed to steal or destroy both death notes, the shinigami could still write his name down. So, L needed some plan more complex than simply getting free. The hardest part was dealing with that shinigami. L didn't know of any way to neutralize a shinigami, and as long as he was restrained he couldn't easily conduct any experiments to try and determine if Rem had a weakness. The most important thing was to keep Misa talking as much as possible. The more she talked, the more likely it would be that L could deduce some vital information.

L said, "Misa, I did a terrible thing to Light. I was desperate, and it was a sloppy, immoral move. The great detective L should have done something better than that."

L listened. Yes! He'd done it! Misa launched into a long, detailed rant on everything that was wrong and bad about L and everything that was wonderful and great about Light. L could do this, he was sure. He could get Misa to talk a lot every day, and eventually, she would let something useful slip past.

But then, Misa ended her rant and left in disgust. The voice didn't return. L waited in the blindfold-induced darkness, his legs slowly cramping. He badly wanted to assume his normal posture, curled up, his knees to his chest, but his bindings prevented him. L called out repeatedly, but nobody answered. The worst thing was not knowing the passage of time. L had no idea how long it had been, but he did notice his lips gradually drying out, his stomach cramping from hunger. He called out for food and water, over and over. There was no response. Then, at last he started to really need to pee. The urge got more and more intense, and L asked for someone to help him. He explained the situation. Even if he couldn't be untied, a bedpan would be appreciated.

But, the unbearable pressure just kept growing until L gave in and wet himself. It was awful and dirty and humiliating, and it irritated his skin. At first it was warm, but then the soaked cloth of the hospital gown gradually chilled, an uncomfortable cold wetness against his crotch and upper legs. Nobody ever came or answered, and at last, L's head lolled to the side and he went to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

When I started this I wasn't entirely sure whether it would be in character for Misa to kidnap L and torture him or not. However, I've worked very hard as the chapters unfold to make it as in-character as I can, and I can't resist trying because I'm intrigued with the idea, simply because it is different and I like to write odd things.

There are plenty of fics where L gets kidnapped and tortured by Light, and some where Light gets kidnapped and tortured by L, but I don't recall ever seeing this theme with Misa. So, once I started thinking about it a lot, I had to attempt it.


	2. Day Two

**CHAPTER 2: Day Two**

When L woke, he didn't know if it was the next day or not. The sensory deprivation from the blindfold made things very disorienting. He wanted to lick his dry lips, but he resisted because he knew it would only make them worse. Still, his lips and throat just kept getting drier. He called out at frequent intervals, noting that his voice was now a bit hoarse. More than anything, he kept going over his plans in his mind. The most important thing was to get Misa to talk as much as possible, without letting her suspect that's what he wanted.

L considered his options. Last time, he'd admitted wrongdoing and apologized. Misa had gone into a one-sided rant, left in disgust and failed to return. Perhaps if he argued with her instead of agreeing, she would talk longer. But, that would be a risky move. If she got too pissed off, she might never want to talk to him much. Also, even someone with Misa's brainpower might notice the sudden switch from apologizing to belligerence. If he was going to change tactics, he'd need to do it slowly. It was also possible that Misa would be at her most irritable for the first few days or for the first week or so, and she'd react badly no matter what he said. Given time, she might get used to the situation, soften just a bit and allow him an opportunity to talk more.

L continued to wait, calling out at what he deemed were intervals of about ten minutes. The wetness between his legs had dried to a crusty film and was getting even more uncomfortable, a chafing irritation, and his bladder pressure was growing once more even though he hadn't had anything to drink.

Then, the electronic modulated voice said, "I need your help."

L said, "Misa?"

The voice said, "He doesn't talk to me. He just talks at me. I can't really be with him at all. It's like he's dead already."

L said, "Misa, I'm not sure what you want."

Misa said, "I have sexual needs, L. I've been love with Light for half a year, and it's all because of you that we haven't been able to do anything. You insisted on all that surveillance, and you said you'd be watching if we had sex. I was desperate enough, but he was never comfortable under those circumstances, so I kept waiting. Now, he's like a vegetable. I've been trying to have sex with him, and it just doesn't work. You need to think of a loophole in those instructions you wrote. You're smart."

L thought. He'd tried to write Light's details of death in such a way that Light wouldn't be able to find any loopholes in them. There was only one thing he could think of.

L said, "I know a way that might work. But, please bring me water. Also, I need a bathroom break."

There was a long silence in response, and then L heard a door open and close, and Misa's steps walking toward him. It sounded like she was walking on a carpet. L calculated. There were very few carpeted rooms in the investigation center and, besides, there was probably too much attention focused on that building for it to be safe for Misa to imprison him there. A riot that large must have drawn attention from both the police and the media. Where could Misa have put him? Perhaps in a private home of a Kira supporter?

Then, L felt the opening of a bottle being pressed to his lips. Misa was rough, so at first the water spilled, but then he latched onto it properly and kept gulping. It felt so good as he drank it down that it was almost painful. He finished the entire bottle and then had Misa get him a second, which he finished as well.

L said, "Misa, please let me use a bathroom. I really need to go."

"No."

L said, "I've already urinated on myself once and I'll do so again soon unless you let me go. I didn't deprive you of bathroom breaks."

"That's true," Misa said, "but once you had me go without water for three days. I've already given you water."

"We only deprived you for two days. The third day, you refused to drink."

Misa said, "Tell me the loophole."

L sighed. "I don't know if this will work, but the only thing Light is allowed to do other than confess is perform necessary bodily functions. Sex probably doesn't count as a necessary bodily function, but perhaps you could sneak it in while he's doing one of the other things."

Misa said, "I've already tried all sorts of things, getting him naked in bed, sucking on him. Nothing works. He just lies there constantly talking. He doesn't get hard or respond in any way."

"It might work if you try having sex with him while he is eating. The other things you could try would be while he is sleeping or going to the bathroom."

Misa said, "You had better hope this works."

L heard her steps walking away. He said, "Bathroom! Please!"

Misa said, "You murdered Light, you know. You are a murderer. Don't ever try to tell yourself otherwise."

Then Misa was gone, and L was left by himself. His thirst was all right, but his hunger was getting worse. The presence of the water made his stomach growl and cramp, making it acutely conscious of the food that wasn't there. And, before too long, he had to urinate more desperately than ever before. Once again, he held it as long as he could, until it was a throbbing, unbearable pain, hoping that Misa might return in time, and then his control broke and he released it all over himself. This time, the hospital gown didn't sop up as much, and he could feel quite a bit running down his legs.

After that, he had to endure a long wait, and the urine, at first wet and warm, soon became a chilly presence and then gradually dried. L's entire crotch area and upper thighs were very irritated now. He wanted so badly to scratch, but the straightjacket held his arms completely immobile.

L was starting to get thirsty again when he heard the door open and close, and Misa's delicate little steps approaching him. She came right up to him and slapped the side of his face, hard.

L knew better than to say anything, so he just waited, his cheek stinging.

After a short silence, Misa said, "It didn't work. I can't do anything with Light. You've completely crippled him."

"I'm sorry."

"No," Misa said, "you're not sorry. Don't lie to me."

L said, "Misa, it's going to stink a lot unless you start giving me bathroom breaks. And, before too long, I'll do more than just urinate. The longer you wait, the worse the clean-up will be."

There was only silence in answer.

L said, "You don't have to do this, Misa. You can assign someone to care for me. Perhaps Watari, or Rem, or one of the Kira supporters. I understand if you don't want to take a male on bathroom breaks."

Misa said, "Watari is in the same kind of restraints as you. He was also responsible for what happened and he will stay like that for the full fifty days. Rem is taking care of him. Rem can't go very far from Light, and I'm not letting you anywhere near Light or Watari. They are in a completely different location."

L said, "What about that mob that attacked the building? Surely you can find one person to care for me?"

Misa replied, "Light always said that we couldn't reveal ourselves to Kira supporters. That would be too dangerous. The mob consisted only of controlled people. They won't talk about what they did and they'll all be dead soon. I didn't realize I was going to do this afterwards, so I didn't control any of them to become servants, I just controlled them to attack the building. Do you want me to kill more people just to create servants so you don't have to rely on me?"

"No."

"Then," Misa said, "I'll take you now."

L could hear Misa walking around behind him, and then the entire thing he was strapped to tilted back at an angle, and he could hear wheels beneath him, wheels on carpet. Misa negotiated through two doors with some difficulty, and after the second door the carpet ceased.

Then Misa said, "No, that's not funny. I'll figure out something."

L said, "Is there another shinigami here? The one that must be attached to you?"

"Yes," Misa said, "his name is Ryuk. He's not very cooperative. I have to bribe him constantly, and even then he won't do much. I've already tried to get him to care for you, but he says it's much more amusing if he doesn't."

L said, "Misa, I really need to use the toilet, and I need to clean myself too. Could you let me loose now? You know I won't escape because I'll just get killed no matter where I go."

"No," Misa said, "I'll just lean your front over the toilet, or I'll find something for you to pee into."

L said, "I need to do more than just pee. Let me sit on a toilet, at least. I'm also very chapped and irritated from peeing on myself. I need to wash myself off, and probably apply lotion or ointment. When I restrained you, I let you have your hands free when you went to the bathroom."

Misa said, "You are strong and devious. I've seen your kicks. You might be planning to kill me and escape. Rem would kill you afterwards, but you probably expect to die anyway and think you have nothing to lose, so it might satisfy you to kill me on your way out. If I even let your legs loose, it would be dangerous for me."

L said, "Don't you have shackles?"

"No."

Then L gave Misa detailed instructions on how to make some effective shackles, and soon she had L's feet restrained with twisted, tied-up bed sheets acting as ropes, so that there was only a one-foot length of "rope" between L's feet, preventing him from kicking. Then she undid the straps that fastened him to the wheeled, metal frame. L immediately fell to his knees, his legs weak from being in the same position for so long.

He said, "With you, I let you be horizontal at night, and I eventually brought in a frame like this but with a shelf, for sitting during the day. People can die from being vertical too long. It damages the internal organs. If you want me to live fifty days, you need to make a few allowances like that."

L shakily got to his feet. He was still in the straightjacket and blindfold. He felt cool tiles against his bare feet. Misa took his shoulders and steered him to a toilet. He did all of his business, and then heard Misa clicking some buttons by his shoulder. Strong jets of body-temperature water came from underneath, hitting him from all sides at once. It was very soothing to his irritated areas. Then, warm air blew on him until he was dry. Immediately, the soreness returned. He'd been wallowing in his own filth long enough that merely cleaning it off wasn't good enough. The skin had been damaged.

But, he now had more information. The presence of a very fancy model of toilet, a combination toilet/bidet, increased his suspicion he was being held in a hotel suite. If he screamed loud enough and long enough, someone would probably rescue him, but that was pointless without getting the information he needed to keep himself alive. Then Misa was pulling him to his feet again, and he felt something metallic at his waist. He drew back in alarm.

Misa said, "These are scissors. I'm cutting off the parts of the hospital gown that jut out from the straightjacket. Otherwise, I couldn't get off the soiled areas without removing the straightjacket, and I won't do that."

L held still as she snipped, trying to hide that he was nervous about her wielding scissors so close to his genitals. When she finished, she once again put her hands on his shoulders, steering him into a shower stall. Then she turned on the water. It burned him at first and he yelped, but she adjusted it and soon it was pleasant. L held his mouth open to it and drank. There was no telling how long it would be until Misa brought him drinking water again. Then he shuffled around, turning every part of himself to the spray, trying to get clean.

Misa said, "Come on, Ryuk, you haven't helped at all. Surely it's been amusing enough by now. I'll give you five extra apples if you wash him with soap and shampoo."

There was a pause, and then Misa said, "I know you can't get under the straightjacket. Just wash all the skin you can see."

L felt a wet sponge on the back of one leg, and then as it moved, he felt slick lather dripping down from it. The shinigami cleaned every part of his exposed skin that way, which was everything from the waist down plus his face and neck. Then Ryuk washed his hair as well. As the last of the shampoo was rinsed away, L leaned against the wall of the shower and slowly slid down it until he was sitting on the floor of the shower. It felt so good just to be in a normal sitting position, his knees drawn up to his chest.

Misa said, "Get up!"

L tried to stand, but it was difficult with his legs being so weak and not being able to use his arms. He lurched upwards, stepped out of the shower, and slipped. It was a terrifying feeling, falling without the ability to catch yourself or see. He twisted to the side to protect his face, heavily falling on his shoulder and sending a jolt of pain through it. He lay there panting, trembling just slightly from a combination of light-headedness and adrenaline. It really had been too long since he'd eaten.

Misa said, "You're pathetic. Now, get up!"

L tried once more, but it was just too hard with the slipperiness of the wet floor around him and the position he was in and his weakness and the makeshift shackles. He knew he could get out of those shackles at any time, but he didn't want Misa to know that. He twisted in place, wriggling and unable to get a purchase on anything. Then, Misa's hands were helping him up and guiding him to sit on a little stool. In a few moments, she was back with a hairdryer, blowing dry not just his hair, but also drying out the soaked straightjacket and every part of his skin. As soon as his privates were dry, the intense itching returned.

L said, "Misa, I really need some ointment or lotion between my legs. It is very sore. Can't you let my arms loose for that?"

"No!"

L shifted around uncomfortably. If the irritated area didn't heal soon, it was going to drive him crazy. Misa had found a way to torture him. There was something about his privates, though. He would really rather Misa tortured any other area. L felt especially vulnerable there.

Then, he suddenly felt extremely wet fingers on his upper thigh, spreading something moist and soothing with sure, precise movements. It felt very good, an immense relief, as if everywhere she touched was instantly being healed. Then, her hands moved to his other thigh, and his groin area, and the lower part of his butt. Then there was a slight hesitation, and L could hear Misa breathing just slightly faster.

Misa said, "I'm going to keep putting lotion on you. Don't ever speak of this to anyone."

Misa applied the soothing substance to his perineum, and worked around carefully into all the folds and wrinkles of his testicles. It was starting to become too nice, those lubricated feminine hands sliding over his privates. L tried to control his own breathing, tried not to enjoy it. Then, suddenly Misa's hands were on his penis, and he couldn't help his reaction. His penis responded so instinctively in her hands.

"Ewwwww!" Misa said, "Don't do that! You are a pervert."

"I'm sorry Misa," L gasped, "I can't help it. Most men would respond to this, and I'm easily excited because I'm a virgin."

The hands stopped applying lotion. Misa said, "How old are you?"

"I recently turned twenty-five."

Misa burst out into bitter, angry laughter. She said, "So, you don't get any, and you think it's just fine to deprive others of it too."

L didn't say anything. In a few moments the hands came back. He was trying harder than ever not to respond, but his body was perverse, it seemed to do exactly the opposite of what he commanded it. Then, just when he thought he might have to say something, Misa's hands were finally gone. He was incredibly relieved. Wasn't he?

Misa herself was gone too. In a few moments she came back with a skirt. She explained that she couldn't put shorts or anything like that on him without removing the shackles, and she didn't want "it" to be hanging there in the open all the time. But, a skirt could be put on over the shackles. So, in a few minutes, L was dressed in Misa's skirt and a straightjacket, strapped back onto the wheeled frame, and taken into the room he'd been in before. Misa reclined the frame onto the floor and left. In a few minutes, she was back, and an incredible, delicious smell permeated the air. Chocolate cake. L could hear Misa placing it beside his head.

Then Misa said, "Are you hungry L? It's been two days. I'm afraid this cake is just out of your reach. Enjoy the fragrance."

Then, with a horrible little laugh, her footsteps were rapidly receding.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I do feel kind of nasty for making L suffer, but it's also kind of neat to torment him and see how he reacts, see if he can think his way out of the situation or not. Also, he deserves to realize first-hand what he put Misa through, and in this fic he is also a murderer (or a soon-to-be murderer, since technically his victim hasn't died yet).

And I really think all L-torture needs to involve cake sooner or later.

A skirt could be put on over shackles, as long as Misa unstrapped L from the bottom part of the frame first. Or she could have used a wrap-around skirt.


	3. Day Three

**CHAPTER 3: Day Three**

It was a terrible, long night next to that cake. L was sure that if he really tried he could probably manage to roll the entire contraption he was strapped to, and get his mouth close enough to the cake that he'd have a chance of eating it. But, there were two problems with that scenario. One was that he could only pull such a trick once before Misa realized he was capable of doing it and used some counter-measure to prevent it in the future. If he wasted a move like that on cake, and then later needed it for a truly important reason, it wouldn't be available.

The other reason had to do with keeping the torture to a minimum. L wasn't sure how sadistic and creative Misa was, how far she was willing to go. Torturing him with things he couldn't eat wasn't that bad, as far as torture went. L had caught some truly sadistic serial killers and he'd seen a lot of police files about violent criminals. He knew something about how bad torture could really get. If he pretended to be more deeply upset by milder forms of torture than he actually was, he might be able to manipulate Misa into avoiding the crueler forms.

So, L talked himself into not trying for the cake. But, it was difficult. Misa had chosen a particularly effective form of mild torture. And, the more days she starved him, the more it would progress into a truly horrible kind of torture. If only it hadn't been cake. If she'd tried oatmeal or some vegetables, it would have been better. But, by now, L would be happy eating just about anything. His limbs were getting weaker. He'd been on a sugar crash and a caffeine crash for a bit over two days now, and it was making him extremely jittery and woozy. Given enough time without food, he might get too weak to have any chance of rolling over.

No, he needed to stop analyzing the cake situation, and focus on the larger problem of escaping without immediately dying. What Misa had accused him of was something that he'd actually been considering. He was very good with his kicks, and as long as he could get his legs free, he could probably subdue or kill Misa even while wearing a straightjacket and a blindfold.

Misa had already given him some valuable information that could help with that plan. Ryuk was largely neutral, so he probably wouldn't save Misa, and Rem was at some entirely different location, attached to Light. So, if Misa were neutralized during one of her visits, L might have a few hours, maybe a day at most, before Rem realized something was wrong. Could he discover the information he needed within that time? Probably not. That would be a plan of desperation, something to keep in reserve. As long as L kept trying things and thinking, he would have a greater chance of getting the right information while remaining in captivity. Captivity was a kind of safety, it kept him alive and gave him a vantage point from which to extract answers.

How to get those answers? There was talking with Misa, which would hopefully become more fruitful as she became used to the situation. Her mind was difficult to understand, an odd mix of intelligence and stupidity. She messed up easily and said all kinds of stupid things, but sometimes she was very perceptive and crafty. L had underestimated her more than once. He resolved to be more careful in the future. But, with this situation, and time running out, he couldn't be too cautious. He might need to make risky moves to have any chance of getting out alive, and those risky moves could backfire.

But, there were avenues of information other than Misa. L had not been surprised that Misa didn't want Watari anywhere near him. The two of them could easily conspire in some way. But, he was surprised about Misa wanting to keep Light away. L hadn't been able to receive a complete confession of the Kira case before the attack on headquarters. Light was evasive and tried to spend as much time as possible reciting completely irrelevant misdeeds. So, even though it was completely clear Light was Kira, he'd actually only told L a few things about Kira that L hadn't already known.

It was likely that Misa wanted to keep Light away because Light knew critical information that might allow L to turn the tables. L immediately began mulling over possibilities for how he could trick Misa into bringing Light within hearing distance. It would be difficult, and L would need to bide his time so his ploy wouldn't be obvious. There was also the additional problem that if Light let a critical secret slip, Misa would probably hear it and kill L on the spot, and even if L were able to escape at just that moment and subdue Misa, Rem was attached to Light, so she would be present and could kill in retaliation.

If Watari got much direct exposure to Light, he might already know the secret, but it would be extremely difficult for Watari to convey that information, especially since he was being watched by Rem, and since Misa was already determined to completely avoid any Watari/L contact.

The other remaining source of information was Ryuk. From Misa's short description, it sounded as if Ryuk could be manipulated. L couldn't give Ryuk apples, but amusement was a different matter. The only difficulty was that Ryuk was currently inaudible. A direct appeal might change that.

L spent the entire night awake, considering and discarding various plans. He usually didn't sleep much, but the smell of the cake was too maddening for sleep to be possible. He was drooling, with clenching pains in his stomach, and he was starting to get thirsty again. As he repeatedly went over his plans, he could tell that they weren't as good as usual. His lack of food, sugar and caffeine was getting to him. He hoped he'd come up with some genius plan before his brain and body gave out too much. He wished either that would happen, or that Misa would start actually feeding him. After all, she couldn't starve him the entire time, or he wouldn't survive.

The next morning, Misa arrived in what at first seemed like a better mood. She pulled up the entire contraption he was strapped to, putting him in a vertical position again, and then explained that she'd seen the wisdom of his demands. From now on, he would be horizontal at night, and he'd get bathroom breaks three times a day. L was very pleased. This would allow him to keep track of the passage of time. Then, Misa was fiddling with something near L's head that produced quiet clanks of metal and plastic, and asked him to turn his head to the side. L encountered a metal tube, and when he took it in his mouth and pressed in the center with his tongue, a few drops of water came out.

Misa said, "This is an animal waterer, I think for rabbits. I'm going to leave one with you all the time so I don't have to worry about it."

L felt a strong surge of gratitude, even as he tried to squelch it. He knew about this sort of thing. It was a psychological process whereby captives became attached to their captors. He reminded himself that Misa hadn't actually done anything kind, anything even slightly deserving of gratitude.

Then L felt Misa's hands on his face, rubbing against his cheek and jaw line. He tried to pull back, but there was nowhere to pull to, so he relaxed and let her do what she wanted. This wasn't torture. Misa's touches became a bit harder, applying more pressure, and then she was rubbing her thumb hard over his lips.

Misa's hands disappeared and she said, "Why don't you have stubble? You should have a lot by now, since I haven't shaved you."

L said, "I had all that hair permanently removed. I value my time, and I don't want to waste it on things such as taking care of my appearance."

Misa laughed and said, "I can see that."

Then, the delicious chocolate cake smell became overwhelming. L was certain Misa must have moved it closer. Several jabs of pain went through his stomach. Well, this was it. The torture had started. Did Misa intend to make him beg? Is that what would satisfy her? Then, suddenly, cake was being pressed against his mouth.

Misa said, "If you want cake, you'll have to lick it off my fingers."

L began licking, pulling Misa's fingers into his mouth and slurping wonderful gobs of cake from them. The gratitude was back, and he was trying to fight it, but to be allowed to eat was so very good. His mind was filled with nothing but the taste and scent of chocolate cake. Misa's fingers left a few times and came back with more cake for his greedy mouth to devour. Then, they were gone, and L had eaten perhaps only the equivalent of one slice.

He waited, and then, in the most pitiful voice he could manage, said, "Please? More cake?"

Misa just laughed. L could still smell the rest of the cake. It was a more exquisite torment now that he'd eaten a small amount, and his stomach was clenching worse than ever. It wasn't enough. He needed more. He began desperately wriggling inside his restraints. Then he felt the touch of metal on one ankle, and then the other, and then Misa was untying the makeshift shackles made from bed sheets.

L guessed what had happened, but it was confirmed when Misa said, "I've bought some real shackles, metal ones with a chain between them. I think you could probably slip free of the ones you had me make."

L sighed. He had really hoped to keep that advantage, so that he might have the option of kicking Misa into unconsciousness during a bathroom break. Well, that still left the option of screaming continuously until someone discovered him. If he were really in a hotel, that would probably work. It was just a matter of waiting for the right time.

Misa said, "Well, now that I've fed you, bathroom break first. I don't want you to shit yourself when I start the torture."

This time Misa did not wheel the entire contraption he was strapped to, but instead unstrapped him right then and there, then guided his steps by pulling on the sleeve of the straightjacket. L made sure to feel the floor with his bare feet, counting his steps and noting where the doors were, using fake stumbling to knock into nearby objects and feel them with the sides of his legs. The layout did remind him of a hotel suite. Also, if he had to run for it while still blindfolded, it would be best to have an idea of how to exit.

Once L had finished on the toilet, Misa guided him to sit down on a stool and began lifting up his skirt. Her skirt, that she'd dressed him in. L flinched.

Misa said, "I just need to see if it's still sore."

Misa sighed, then was gone and back in a few moments, lifting up his skirt again.

Misa said, "It's still red. I don't think the lotion helped much last time, so I bought some ointment."

Then Misa's hands, covered with a cool, soothing, slippery substance, were reaching up underneath his skirt, sliding along his upper thighs. L tried to think very hard about mathematics, solving various problems in his head. The hands had just the right amount of pressure, and they were touching, without hesitation, absolute everywhere in that region, even his most sensitive and private areas. At her first touch to his penis, it started inflating. Misa's motions didn't stop, nor did she say anything.

Surely she must have noticed. Why did she continue, touching here, there, everywhere, with quick little wet strokes? Last time she'd been upset when she caused an erection. L tried to ignore the sensations, but each tiny stroke was so cool, soothing and pleasurable. His sore flesh wanted her touches, responded to them. He was panting now, practically gulping air. He could recognize the feeling trying to surge within him, and he fought it. But, with each downward retreat, there was immediately a higher upward surge. Altogether, he was losing the fight.

"Misa," L gasped, "please stop. I'm going to come."

Her hands withdrew. She said, "You're funny. This isn't even like a real hand job. I bet you'd be a terrible lover."

L leaned his head forward, resting it against her shoulder. Various emotions were warring inside him. He couldn't decide what to think. He just needed to lean against something, and rest. No, this was the wrong thing to do. Misa's shoulder had a girly scent that was only increasing his arousal.

L pulled his head back and said, "Wait a little while. I need to calm down."

He was panting, and he still couldn't think, but he wanted those hands on him. It was a terrible, shameful desire. Misa was revolting, a mass murderer. She shouldn't be able to get to him this soon. He was stronger than this. But, then, Misa had cracked in just three days, when she'd started asking Rem to kill her. Maybe he wasn't stronger than her after all.

L was trying to make his arousal go down, but he couldn't calm it. Then, he asked Misa, and she let him sit on the floor in his usual position, knees up against his chest. It felt so good, the position his body was always trying to naturally curl into. A kind of peaceful satisfaction came over him, and he started feeling like himself again. If Misa would let him stay like this for a long time, that would be the best. And, she did let him sit there for quite a while. His erection went away, but he just kept sitting, enjoying the stillness.

Then, he felt Misa lifting up his skirt again. Misa said, "I still see some red areas where I haven't applied ointment yet. I'm putting on a really thick layer so it heals fast and I won't have to keep doing this."

L nodded, and spread his legs to give her better access, and then those quick little swipes, those soothing healing touches, came back. Her fingers were like a whole mass of darting, tiny tongues licking him at once, each stroke leaving behind a dab of ointment. He was getting hard again, but before he became fully erect, she finished with the job, pulled him to his feet, and guided him back to his room.

Once there, she strapped him into the metal frame again. L reached his mouth to one side and began drinking from the animal waterer. It must have been designed for small animals, because only a few drops came out each time he pressed his tongue against the valve in the center of the metal tube. It was frustrating, but not as frustrating as waiting for Misa to bring a bottle of water.

Then Misa said, "Well, I've got one torture session planned for today. Do you want rubber bands, or razor blades?"

L considered. She might really be offering him a choice, but it could also be a form of psychological torture in which she would merely pretend to offer a choice. He could try choosing the worst thing in order to fool her into the thing he actually preferred, but that probably wouldn't work, especially since it was obvious that most people would prefer rubber bands.

L said, "Rubber bands."

Misa said, "Wrong answer. I'm going to cut you with razor blades. You won't know when or where until you feel each cut."

L said nothing, but inside he was starting to feel very sick. Misa had already showed a capacity for psychological torture, and she was making creative use of the fact that he was blindfolded. L knew that the anticipation of pain and the loss of control could be bigger factors than the pain itself. He tried to steady his breathing, tried to focus his mind on other things.

L brought forth a strong mental image of the case he'd been solving that had led to catching Aiber. That had been truly an amusing chase, one of the best of his career. Sometimes it was better to have money at stake instead of lives. And, Aiber might still be alive. He hadn't been in the investigation center when the attack had occurred or for several days beforehand, and L thought it was likely Misa had never seen the man while her power had been turned on.

Then, there was a sharp, stabbing pain in L's ankle, and a moment later he could feel a little blood trickling down. Something was dabbing at it, and then it felt like a bandage was being placed over it. A surge of panic came through L. He was suddenly afraid that Misa might try cutting his genitals. She seemed very comfortable with them now, and she was unpredictable.

L's mind shied away from that image, and he focused once more on memories of pleasant cases from his past. The thrill of the chase, the pleasure of testing many different possibilities and then seeing the puzzle gradually fall into place, it could all be so very good.

Then, another cut startled L, this one on the sensitive skin on the back of his knee. He yelled in pain. Had Misa cut deeper this time? L tried to focus his mind again, but it was now in a horrified waiting, anticipating state he couldn't seem to dislodge it from. As the other cuts came, one by one, each was more disturbing than the last. They didn't hurt that much, and Misa quickly bandaged each one, but the fear was beginning to be disabling. L let it out then, screaming and crying. After all, it might do Misa good to see him breaking under torture; it might convince her she'd done enough so she wouldn't do more.

After 17 cuts, all on his legs, Misa stopped. In a purring voice, she said, "L, do you want cake?"

L was seething. Her voice sounded so kind, as if nothing had happened. And, if he asked for cake, would she just laugh and deny him? Or, maybe, she wanted to see him beg?

L said, "Misa, I am a bad person. I am a murderer. Please, please, please give me cake."

Misa gave a little, tinkling laugh, a joyous and innocent sound. Then she said, "You don't have to beg, silly, I would have given it to you anyway."

And, in just moments, her fingers were at his mouth, and he was licking wonderful, delicious gobs of chocolate cake off them. As he ate, he was feeling that strange gratitude again. Then she left. Once more, L's stomach was full of painful cramps. These tiny meals were a form of torture in themselves. It was just enough to make him realize what he was missing. Then, for most of the rest of the day, things were quite normal, almost too calm. Misa was sweet and pleasant each time she appeared, praising him and cooing in concern over the cuts on his legs as if she hadn't made them. Then, after the third bathroom break of the day, Misa roughly pushed him up against the wall, fumbling underneath his skirt.

L said, "What are you doing? I don't need more ointment."

Then L felt her hands running over his penis, and they were slippery with something. Confused, he didn't say anything for a moment. But, then, he could feel the difference. She was grabbing him in a completely different way than when she was applying ointment.

L said, "You're a murderer, Misa."

She grasped his length, rubbing and palming. As it grew in her hands, she said, "It seems you like murderers."

L began panting hard, and his lips were moving in a sensuous motion.

Misa said, "You want this, don't you? If I just left you alone all the time, you'd go crazy from boredom."

"Misa!" L said, and then stopped.

There was no doubt about what she was doing. Her hands pumped fiercely and one of her thighs pressed hard into his thigh. There was an angry insistence to her motions. L tried to think, tried to decide whether he wanted this or not. And, if he didn't want it, what could he do? Tell her to stop? She might be provoked into more torture, into doing something he definitely knew he didn't want.

But then, his excitement was rising, and he just couldn't decide or think any longer. All the tension in his body was gathering in his groin. He could tell it already, he was going to have a blindingly intense orgasm. He whimpered in need and ecstasy, and his hips began rocking, he couldn't help it. He just wanted her to make him come so badly.

Then, her hands were completely gone, leaving him on the verge of orgasm. He stumbled forward, seeking out her body, but she was nowhere to be found. The slight motions of his skirt brushing against his erection were maddening, giving him little shocks of arousal but completely unable to give him an orgasm. Then, he heard Misa's cruel little laugh from a few feet away.

Misa said, "How does it feel, to be denied your sexual enjoyment? Now you know what you did to me. You murdered Light without giving me a single chance to have sex with him. He's right next to me every day, and I can't do a thing with him."

L said, "Misa! Please!"

Then he stopped. How had he lost control so badly? He shouldn't be begging her for a hand job. But, all he wanted to do at that moment was to rush at her, knock her to the ground, and somehow rape her despite being in a straightjacket and shackles. A terrible shame came over him. He wasn't a rapist; he wouldn't do that. But, maybe she would. Misa had crossed a boundary. Before, she'd been just his torturer, but now sexual activities were on the menu as well. If he resisted, Misa might force him.

L just stood there, beginning to shake. She was messing with his mind now. This was bad. Maybe the physical torture would be better. It was so hard to decide, when his long-dormant sexual needs were being brought to the surface by another person for the first time ever. His body wanted it, but his mind wavered between desire and revulsion. On the one hand, Misa was perhaps the last person he would have chosen in normal circumstances. On the other hand, if he was going to die soon, he did want to get laid first, and Misa was very beautiful. Sexual attention, as long as she let him come once in a while, could be a pleasant way to relieve some of the tension of his captivity and torture. But, there was a possibility she might never let him come.

Then Misa said, "How do you feel, L?"

L said, "I feel very frustrated. You are a splendid torturer."

Then Misa's quick, delicate steps were approaching him, and she whispered in his ear, "I'm not as bad as you think. I can be very nice."

Misa grabbed his shoulders, steering him forward until he ran into a couch, and then pushing him down so he was lying on his back on the couch. He was still painfully hard, and wondered what she intended on doing, his thoughts chaotic, flickering between hope, despair and shame. Misa lifted his skirt up, flipping it back. L felt the cool air of the room on his erection, and, the next moment, Misa's hands curling around him and pumping slowly. L moaned.

Misa whispered, "Doesn't this feel nice? Isn't it good?"

"Yes," L panted, "yes, Misa."

The pumping motion was driving him crazy. His hips rocked up into it, those relentless strokes bringing him closer and closer to his climax.

Misa said, "I'm nice. I'm going to let you come. You should be grateful."

And then, she was squeezing harder and speeding up. L could not even wrap his mind around what she was doing to him. How, how, could she do those things with just hands? It was so good, and right, and every stroke built up the fire within him to unimaginable heights. When his orgasm slammed into him with incredible force, he felt like his mind was unraveling. He let out a wild cry at the same moment, shame and pleasure intermingled as he spilled himself over Misa's hands, her hands that were holding him so tight and gave him a perfect little squeeze in the middle of his orgasm that wrung an extra spike of pleasure out of him.

L lay there afterwards panting, tingling, and trying to recover. A lazy, warm afterglow was spreading through him. Why had Misa let him come? Wasn't this supposed to be torture? Then, he heard a kind of squelching sound just a short distance from him. It kept repeating, and L could hear Misa panting hard as the sound continued. She was obviously masturbating. L said nothing, but his mind started calculating. What was Misa's game? Had giving him a hand job really turned her on that much? Or was this another psychological ploy? Then, after a few minutes, Misa let out a high-pitched sobbing cry and the squelching sounds ceased.

Misa quickly cleaned up L with a wet cloth and led him back to his room, strapping him once more to the contraption. She didn't feed him any more, but the water was well-supplied, and that kept him from becoming too uncomfortable. L tried to spend his time thinking, formulating plans, but his mind kept returning to Misa, to what she'd done to him, and what it meant. He needed to decide what he wanted, and where it might lead. But, every time he approached the subject, his mind shied away, or it became endlessly tangled and confused. He couldn't think of it, and yet he couldn't not think of it. His planning was shot for the moment, his nerves unraveled.

Then, when Misa came in for the night and put him in a horizontal position, L smelled a new cake. Strawberry cheesecake. He heard Misa placing it next to his head, and then she gave the same horrible little laugh as before and left. L considered his options. He wanted cake, and not getting cake the previous night hadn't dissuaded Misa from the razor-blade torture. Plus, he'd only had the equivalent of perhaps two pieces of cake in three days, nothing else. Unless his body got some fuel soon, he might get too weak to do anything.

L began lunging within his bonds, until he'd built up a rhythm, rocking the entire frame side to side. When he thought he had everything just right, he gave a final spine-twisting lunge, flipping the whole frame over. His face slammed directly into the cake and he couldn't breathe at all. He had a momentary hilarious thought, of how ironic it would be if L were suffocated by cake.

But, he was already eating at an enormous rate, gulping it down, and soon he could breathe a bit. He'd eaten the cake down far enough. He rested, breathing, then started in again, savoring it this time. It was such a soothing, wonderful experience. He wasn't able to eat all the cake. Some was still out of his reach, even when he tried to scoot the frame over, but he was able to eat enough that his stomach stopped having those pains that came with eating just a bit of food. After he finished, and had even licked clean what he could of his face, he had a sudden, disturbing thought. What would Misa do when she discovered this, and the terrible mess he'd made?

He tried to shove that out of his mind. For once, it was time to sleep. He needed his strength and mental power now more than ever. After a few minutes, he was drifting off into dreams that alternated between pleasant and disturbing. There were huge amounts of wonderful cake that sometimes tried to suffocate him, and Misa was there through it all, sometimes smiling and pleasant, sometimes brutal and cruel. Every time she kissed him, it felt wonderful and very wrong at the same time.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Misa's motivations are unclear, except that she likes to mess with L, alternating between nice and mean in order to screw with his emotions and keep him off-balance.

L wanted cake so much, he risked suffocating in cake to get it.


	4. Day Four

**CHAPTER 4: Day Four**

The electronic voice woke him up the next morning. Judging from his internal sense of the passage of time, it seemed to be very early.

The voice said, "L, why did you write down suicide for him? Why were you so cruel?"

L said, "It isn't cruel. I wanted to give him one choice during the rest of his life, and there are many painless ways to kill yourself. Light is smart enough to give himself a pleasant death."

Infuriated, Misa launched into a long rant about how cruel suicide really was and how much of a wonderful person Light was. L listened carefully for any usable information, but it all sounded like opinions. Then the voice went away and shortly afterwards L heard the door to his room open, and then a sharp intake of breath.

Misa said, "What did you do?"

L realized that she must not have a video feed from this room to the outside. That might prove useful later.

Misa flipped the metal frame he was strapped to over, so he was lying on his back.

She said, "So, you like to eat, do you? I'm going to let you eat all you want, as long as you do it my way."

L heard Misa leave, and when she came back there was a wonderful scent of fresh strawberries. L heard something being set on the floor near his head. Then, Misa's hands were stroking every part of his face that peeked out from under the blindfold.

"I like the way you're so smooth," she said.

The way she ran her hands over him felt sexual. L became certain that Misa was about to try some sort of sexual activity. Suddenly, he was thinking, hard, about the decision that had evaded him all night. Should he cooperate? There was something very repulsive about doing anything sexual with Misa, yet if he thought of it as merely a physical act, it was alluring. But, logic needed to be brought into the picture and given a priority, before things got out of hand.

L knew he couldn't really control what Misa did to him, he could only control how he reacted to it. If he refused and she persisted, then it would definitely be rape. Rape brought a lot of mental trauma with it, and it might impair his judgment as he tried to deal with those effects. If he gave permission, then it wouldn't be rape, but it would still be a sexually abusive situation because of the severe imbalance of power between them. It may cause mental trauma anyway, but probably not as much as rape. If he decided to allow Misa's advances, he'd be less impaired.

In any case, there would be emotional consequences for both himself and Misa. Misa might become attached to him through sex, and be less likely to kill him. Not that he wanted to be Misa's sex slave forever. It was rather that getting on her good side would buy time to figure out a better solution, and might possibly be the only way out of the situation. There were other ways, though, to get on her good side. L resolved to try those soon, regardless of what he decided about the sexual issue.

But, Misa might experience something other than increased warmth toward him as a result of sex. She could regret her actions or become repulsed, leading to less talking and a lowered chance of getting any useful information out of her. If she went too far and upset herself, she might stop touching him or going near him. She might even gag him so she wouldn't have to hear his voice.

L knew that every emotional consequence that could happen to Misa could also happen to himself, except that if he became strongly repulsed and regretful he would likely not be given the choice of avoiding Misa. The worst part would be that if he developed a plan that called for harming Misa, especially for killing her, it might be difficult to carry it out. But, a sexual connection might also be a way to manipulate Misa. She wouldn't be expecting him to be able to act manipulative at all from such a position of helplessness, and he might be better able to slip things past her awareness.

As he considered it, it seemed that more advantages would come with not resisting. As long as he tried to stay in control of his responses, he could lessen his trauma, perhaps get Misa to replace some of his torture with sex, gain physical pleasure, and possibly buy time and become better able to manipulate Misa. Yes, he would let Misa mess with him sexually. It made the most sense. Still, even after deciding, he felt a lingering uncertainty within. He didn't like having to make a decision like that, under duress and with his life hanging in the balance.

Misa was still stroking his cheeks, and now L felt her hot breath against one side of his neck. He shivered. The neck was another place, along with his genitals, that he felt particularly vulnerable. It seemed like Misa was invading him, but it also was exciting, it was a burn of adrenaline to jolt his system. Misa's lips were brushing against his neck then, and he was shivering, trying not to pull away. Involuntarily, he wiggled a bit within his restraints. Then he felt Misa's wet tongue against his neck, licking. It was almost too much. It was making him very jittery, and it was hard to think.

She stopped momentarily and said, "This is a really good cake! Next time I don't want to see it spread all over you."

Hoping to move her area of focus, L said, "Kiss me!"

Misa said, "I'm glad you're so eager, but right now I'm going to suck right here until I leave a big red mark. You belong to me, L, and I can do whatever I want to you."

L cursed himself inwardly. Had he given Misa some clue that he didn't want his neck touched?

But, then, Misa had latched on, hard, with a pressure that made him gasp and squirm. L tried to control his breathing; he focused on the sound of his breaths and tried to ignore Misa sucking at the side of his neck. But, it was hard. A little part of his mind was going insane, and it took all his willpower not to flinch away. It seemed to go on, and on, and just when he wasn't sure if he could take it any more, Misa drew back. L could feel the cool air on that wet mark and he felt ashamed. Even though nobody would see it except Misa and Ryuk, it was like a piece of his dignity had been forever taken away.

Then Misa began stroking his face again, all the parts that stuck out from under the blindfold. She especially paid attention to his lips, rubbing them, squeezing them and pulling at them.

Then Misa said, "You're the opposite of Light in some ways, but you're really just like him, aren't you?"

L didn't know what the proper answer should be, so he stayed silent.

Then L felt Misa straddling his chest, sitting on it.

Misa said, "Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to feed you as many strawberries as you want. But you'll have to use your tongue to dig them out of the place I put them. If you pleasure me well enough, things will go better for you. Can you guess where I'll be putting the strawberries?"

L thought he knew, but he said nothing.

In a pouting voice, Misa said, "You're supposed to be a genius and you can't even figure out this one little thing? I'm going to put strawberries in my vagina and you'll eat them out of me. If you're bad at it, there will be a lot less food for you in the future."

Then, L could feel various movements as Misa shifted around on top of him, and he heard a series of wet noises. Then the smell of strawberries became stronger, along with a slightly musky smell, like clean fresh fish. L could feel Misa's thighs sliding along his jaw line on either side of his face, and then there was a heat emanating from just above his mouth.

Misa said, "You owe me everything that Light wasn't able to give me. Furthermore, I let you come yesterday. I was very generous."

L said, "Yes, Misa."

The movements of talking brought his lips barely in contact with something warm and moist directly above him. L considered his best course of action. There were two goals, to get the strawberries and to give sexual pleasure to Misa. It was more important to satisfy Misa, but he had no experience doing this. He'd have to learn in a hurry. It was essential to find her clitoris fast, but it was also true that women had widely varying sexual responses; each one liked different things. He would need to discover exactly what pleased Misa.

L said, "Misa, tell me when I'm doing it right."

Then he reached up with his tongue and lips at once and started feeling and prodding the thing hovering just above his face. At the moment of contact, Misa's breath hitched and then she started breathing faster. It was like licking a piece of meat soaked in strawberry juice, except that it was very much warm and alive. At certain places, he could feel a faint pulse. L hunted around. There were so many folds of skin. Every time he checked on the other side of a fold, it seemed a new fold was there. He felt certain he'd be better at this if he could only see. He tried to create a mental map of Misa's genitals, but everything was so gooey and pliable, ever-shifting under the pressure of his tongue and lips.

Finally, he found a place where the folds all came together into a kind of little tent, and there was a nub there that stuck out. As soon as L licked it hard, Misa made a cooing sound. Then L experimented, sliding his tongue alongside it, making swirling motions, nibbling with his lips, grasping it gently in his teeth and giving it little tugs. Everything provoked sounds of approval from Misa, some things more than others. Misa was releasing a lot of her own juice now, and it was dribbling all over L's chin and running onto his neck.

Then L took her clitoris entirely between his lips and sucked on it hard. Misa let out a sobbing moan, and then she was saying, "Do it! Do it! Do it!"

L latched on even harder and sucked with a tremendous pulsing pressure. Misa let out a series of wild cries, ascending in pitch, and then L felt her thigh muscles clench several times and immediately after go very lax and loose. He moved his mouth lower, seeking her entrance. Once again he was lost among those seemingly-endless folds. He pressed hard with his tongue, seeking the right place but unable to find it. She was really wet now with her own slightly musky juices almost completely overpowering the strawberry taste.

L tried to aim toward the center of the maze of folds, but her entrance still eluded him. Could it be further back than he thought? Carefully, L made his way in that direction, trying to stay centered. Then, without any warning, his tongue was slipping inside. Misa gasped. It was so hot inside her. L plunged his tongue in and out a few times, getting used to where the opening was, making Misa moan. The thought of where his tongue was sent sparks of electricity directly to his groin, hardening him. L really hoped she would let him come.

Then, he felt a strawberry. It was too far up and kept retreating from him when he tried to snag it. Misa was certainly enjoying the process, moaning shamelessly and making rocking motions that complicated L's efforts. L plunged his tongue in so far that his nose was smashed up against Misa and he couldn't breathe. Then, he snagged two strawberries, pulling them into his mouth and eating. Next he went searching for additional strawberries, and found three more before Misa stopped him so she could refill.

From then on, it was alternating between pleasuring Misa's clitoris and getting more strawberries as a reward. L paid careful attention to all the sounds Misa made, so he could learn just where and how to stimulate. Soon, he had figured out a technique where he turned his head a bit sideways and by positioning everything just right, could suck on her clitoris and insert his tongue inside her at the same time. It drove Misa absolutely insane.

After the sixth orgasm, Misa got up and fed him strawberries with her hands. She praised him for how good he'd been and cooed over him, baby-talking and stroking his face and neck.

When L was almost uncomfortably full and finally refused a strawberry, Misa said, "Do you want to come, L? I'm going to take your virginity now. There's nothing you can do to stop it."

L felt Misa's weight settling across his knees, and her hands were sliding up under his skirt, fiddling with him, making him fully hard. He was panting now, and his mind wouldn't settle down. It felt like thousands of thoughts were battling in his brain. There was something awful about wearing a skirt. It was just so easy for Misa to access him. There wasn't any defensive layer of fabric to protect his genitals.

Misa was scooting up his body, away from his knees and toward his penis. L felt a sudden wave of panic. He couldn't do this. It was just too fast. He wanted to tell her to wait, to stop.

L said, "Misa, I was good with the oral sex, wasn't I? Please listen, and slow down a bit. It is my first time, after all. Can you be gentle?"

Misa said, "I'm not going to hurt you, but you can't back out now. You're going to have sex with me no matter what. I'm very generous, so I can hold back a little just this one time. But, in the future, I'm going to take you whenever I want, as fast as I want. Do you understand?"

L said, "Yes, Misa."

And then, he felt her damp sex nudging up against his testicles, and her hands rubbing and squeezing his erection. It felt really good as she continued to fondle him. L concentrated on the physical sensations. Misa's hands were warm and dry; there was no ointment or lotion this time. He didn't think there was any danger of coming without slippery friction. He settled down, trying to feel and to not think about anything other than how sexy Misa was, trying to imagine her riding on top of him, enclosing him, getting used to that idea, trying to get turned on by it.

And, it was working. His heartbeat was speeding up, and he was rocking slightly within his restraints, trying to move against Misa's hand. Then, he felt her rise up, and his very tip was sliding into her. Panic and an incredible wave of adrenaline hit him all at once. He was confused and ashamed and very, very horny all at once, and the physical sensations were completely overwhelming him. Every instinct in his body was screaming at him to press further into her, but he was helpless, trapped, as she slowly slipped down his shaft, everything happening entirely according to her will, at her rate of speed. He couldn't do anything.

The feeling of sliding into her was unbelievable. He'd never thought it would feel like this. To be completely enclosed on every side by something so slippery and warm and alive, gripping him just right. As Misa completed her journey to the bottom of his shaft, L let out a wild cry at the intensity of being fully sheathed within her. He was wriggling within the restraints, going crazy. There was something so exactly right about it; inside her was where his penis was supposed to be, the union it had been craving every day since puberty. And then there was movement, sweet and intense, up and down, and it was so much more than just being inside, it was incredibly erotic, a perfect answer to his throbbing need. L was whining and moaning, his head tossing back and forth.

As she pushed herself down onto him again and again, he began crying out her name. Every part of him was straining, sweating.

"Yes, Misa," he said, "Misa!"

But at the same time that everything was so right, there was something wrong and shameful. He kept telling himself it wasn't rape, that he had decided to enjoy this. But, somewhere in the back of his mind, he was frightened and horrified. This wasn't at all how he wanted his first time to be, with an insane woman who was both a mass-murderer and someone who he had nothing in common with. Actually, he didn't really want any of his times to be like that. If he'd wanted a woman as beautiful as Misa, he could have obtained a sane one at any time. Women did respond to rich men, no matter how badly those men dressed or how oddly they behaved. It would have been quite simple.

But Misa was here, riding on top of him. She was probably going to be doing this, or worse things, whether he liked it or not, and she was very warm and arousing. He tried to think of it as just a physical act, concentrating on the pleasure instead of the shame. And, the pleasure was very intense. It was easy to lose himself in the act. L felt like he was drowning in his feelings, his instincts overwhelming him just as surely as if he'd been standing on the beach and got hit by a big ocean wave.

He strained against the straightjacket and the straps that held him down. He wanted desperately to move, to move against her. All he could do was shift just slightly in place, unseeing, immobile. It was almost intolerable to not be able to move, to touch, as his pleasure built. He wanted to kiss, to thrust, to run his hands along her back. Then, all too soon, he was crying out in release as Misa clamped down on him tightly, milking his seed as she stroked his thighs and mumbled encouragement to him.

Releasing inside her was another level of intensity on top of everything else. First, merely being inside her, without movement, had been overwhelming, and then her thrusting had taken it up to another level again, but the release, deep inside her warm cleft, was so much more than that. He was a sweating, moaning mess at his climax, his mind having that unraveling feeling again, as if he couldn't think and never would be able to again.

Afterwards, he was panting, stunned. It was true, what people said. Losing your virginity changed something inside you. L could feel it. He'd thought that belief was some kind of superstition, but he could feel it within him, and there was no denying it. Something was irrevocably changed about his life, and it would color the way he looked at things from now on. He felt kind of sad about it. Had he lost his innocence? Had he lost the self he'd known his entire life?

Misa was still sitting on him, and he was completely inside her, though he was soft now. She was humming quietly, stroking his thighs and running her thumbs in little circles around the points of his hipbones. He waited for her to leave, but she kept doing the same actions. Was this cuddling? L didn't want to cuddle with Misa. He had just wanted her to give him an orgasm and leave. The orgasm had happened, so now it was time for Misa to go away. L shifted nervously inside his bindings. He was acutely aware of how his arms felt funny from being in the same position for so long, and of how much he wanted to bring his legs up to curl into his usual knees-against-the-chin posture.

Misa was laughing then, a sweet little laugh. It sounded so innocent and pure.

She said, "Did you think that was all? You've been very good. You deserve a lot of pleasure. I'm going to take you again and again until you have nothing else to give. Doesn't that sound exciting?"

L said, "Why are you doing this, Misa?"

She ran one finger lightly along his chin and said, "You're like him, and I don't have him, do I? Plus, you've been very good, and I'm feeling generous."

Then she continued running her hands along his hips and thighs, sometimes using her internal muscles to squeeze him. Soon, he was hardening again, and Misa encouraged the process by sliding up and down on his half-hard erection. L moaned. It was so good. There was something breaking, dissolving inside him. His resistance. He squirmed fiercely, trying to rock, trying to thrust, as that tight wet opening came down on his erection over and over, a repetitive onslaught that never let up.

"Faster!" he snarled, "Harder!"

The sound of his own voice startled him. It was choked, slightly slurred, deeper than normal.

Misa obliged him and sped up, doubling his pleasure. L was tense and tight and hot, everything burning within him, fire and electricity running underneath his skin. He was lasting longer this time, and the intensity was building higher. His arousal was like a molten ball of lava within his groin, rolling around and around, heavy and tingling, gathering more and more to itself with every movement. The urge to thrust was almost pulling his mind into knots, but he did his best with a slight rocking and squirming while Misa did all the work.

Then his climax hit him, making him shake and scream, a husky deep scream thick with lust. It was a white-hot intensity filling up his entire being. It was so good, ten times better than anything he'd experienced before, with little aftershocks jolting through him as he gradually descended from that peak. Misa used her internal muscles to clamp down on him tight the entire time, and she praised him, telling him how good he'd been, how much he deserved this. The tone of her voice sounded very pleased.

Then a kind of tingling, languid drowsiness filled him. He turned his head to one side and relaxed. Misa was still on top of him, rubbing his hips with her fingers, and her attention felt annoying. He did his best to ignore it.

Misa pinched him hard on his thigh and said, "Don't go to sleep. Didn't I tell you we'd go to the limits of your sexual endurance today?"

L said, "Misa, you've tired out my body with this captivity. Maybe I can do one more, but that's it. If you want this sort of thing, you should feed me better and give me some time out of the restraints to relax on a couch or something."

Misa didn't listen. She kept stimulating him, and a few minutes later, she coaxed another erection out of him and rode him to climax. The third time he released inside her, she seemed even more pleased than the previous two times, though L hadn't noticed any evidence she'd had a single orgasm during their sexual encounters, perhaps because she'd already exhausted her capacity with the oral sex.

After that, she took him twice more, though the last time she had to resort to oral sex to get him erect before she rode him. But, after that time she actually got up and walked to his head, crouching down to talk in his ear while she stroked his hair.

She said, "Yesterday, I thought I was going to torture you by stimulating you over and over without ever letting you come. But, I changed my mind. I have another use for you. Do you know what I did after I finished your hand job?"

L said, "You were pleasuring yourself."

Misa let loose a little tinkling laugh, so light-hearted and pleased.

She said, "You're almost right. I took your seed and put it inside me. You see, I started taking fertility drugs as soon as I knew you'd written down Light's name. If he was going to die, then I wanted to get pregnant and have a piece of him with me forever, a little Kira to raise up and take over the judgments. But then he wasn't available and I realized you're the person who is most similar to Light, and how delicious my revenge would be if you knew, while you were dying, that your son or daughter would grow up to be the next Kira."

L felt sick inside, but he told himself it shouldn't be personal. If Misa was determined and able enough to raise up a child to be the next Kira, it shouldn't matter if it was his own or someone else's.

L calculated. He tried to be knowledgeable on as many subjects as possible, so he had done research on this. Women who took fertility drugs had about a fifty percent chance of getting pregnant within the time period Misa planned to hold him captive, but those women were usually those who'd experienced trouble getting pregnant in the past.

If Misa was a normal, fertile twenty-year-old, then she probably had a greater than fifty percent chance of getting pregnant. If she was telling the truth. This could be a lie, a kind of psychological torment. So far, Misa had proven more adept with the psychological torture than the physical torture, something L hadn't expected. Light was the one who played mind games with him, not Misa. L resolved once more to not underestimate Misa. It was a trap he kept falling into.

Misa said, "How do you feel, L? How do you feel about our child becoming Kira?"

"I would be upset. I don't like it."

In a gentle voice, Misa said, "But, you don't have any choice. It's easy to get you aroused. From now on, every drop of semen you produce belongs to me. Don't resist, or I'll force you."

L began trembling, just slightly. He tried to control it, but he couldn't. Misa began stroking his neck again, and he just wanted her to get away, but he couldn't give any sign or she'd know for sure how vulnerable his neck was. He tried to make himself as stiff and blank as possible, a dead piece of meat, his mind wandering far from the scene he was in.

Misa stroked the spot she'd sucked on before, and said, "What a lovely mark! I think I need to make a matching one on the other side."

And then she did, as L trembled and tried not to react while the panic and disgust twisted within him. When she was done, she took him through his morning routine and then left. Later that day, she gave him a fake interrogation with the electronic voice, a series of questions that was obviously modeled after his own interrogation of her. She accused him of being Kira and asked all sorts of little details about his life.

It wasn't at all disturbing, and L already had a bunch of mutually consistent fake details worked out to supply her. His opinion of her as a torturer was sinking. But, of course, that was quite pleasing. If Misa didn't have it in her to try anything hard-core, that was wonderful. L tried to act confused, hurt and frightened as she continued interrogating him. If she thought this kind of thing upset him, she was badly mistaken, but it was a very useful illusion.

On one of the bathroom breaks, L heard Misa talk to Ryuk and so knew the shinigami was certainly in the same room. Now was the time to try one of his plans.

L said, "There was a man who had no hope to live, so he had been sent from the hospital to die at home, and his favorite food was homemade chocolate chip cookies. One day, he woke up to a beautiful smell of that exact food. He was so overwhelmed with happiness that, even though he was almost dead, he managed to crawl downstairs. There he saw his wife was baking cookies and they had been stacked high on every single surface, hundreds of them. He reached out for a cookie, grateful that he would be able to eat his favorite food once more before he died. Then his wife saw him and swatted his hand. She said, 'Stop it. Those are for the funeral.'"

L heard a choked sound of astonishment from Misa.

L continued, "There was a woman who died, and as the pallbearers were carrying her casket into the cemetery, they accidentally knocked it against the gatepost on the way in, and heard a moan from within the coffin. They checked, and found the woman had a pulse, so they rushed her to the hospital and revived her. She lived another ten years. At her second funeral, when the pallbearers were about to enter the cemetery, the woman's husband said, 'Be careful. I don't want you to run into that gatepost again.'"

Misa said, "What are you doing?"

L replied, "Telling jokes to Ryuk."

L didn't wait for Misa's reply, but addressed the empty air in front of him, "Ryuk, I am a very amusing person. I think you'd be more entertained if we could talk directly. Why don't you make that possible? You don't have to follow Misa's orders, you can do whatever you want."

Then, Misa gave him a hard stinging slap. The force of it twisted his neck, and he was sure he'd have a red mark on his face for some time.

L said, "Ryuk, if there's something Misa doesn't want me to find out, don't you think it would be amusing if you told me in such a way that it didn't end this game immediately?"

L waited. He'd surely infuriated Misa, but hopefully he'd intrigued Ryuk. If there were a secret he could use to his advantage, Ryuk probably knew it, but it was important to warn Ryuk not to say it in front of Misa, because then Misa might just kill him on the spot.

Then L felt Misa roughly grabbing him and pushing him down onto the floor. She made him lay on his stomach with his legs curled up underneath him, his face pressed to the floor, his knees against his chin, his rear end elevated.

Misa said, "I was going to save this until tomorrow, but you've been very, very naughty. Stay like this. I'll be right back."

L waited on the floor apprehensively, but he was also pleased. There must be something Ryuk could tell him that might shift the advantage to his side. Otherwise, Misa's reaction wouldn't make sense.

Then he felt something touch his shoulder, and a gravely masculine voice said, "Ah, it's boring with just her to talk to, anyway. I know what you want. I might tell it to you if I really feel like it, but I'm not sure if you can use it anyway. You'd probably just run away and get yourself killed. That would end all the fun here."

L said, "Ryuk, is there more of a chance you might tell it to me near the end? Be sure to do it when she can't hear."

Ryuk said, "Don't push me. I'll decide this myself. Besides, it's quite clear I can get the maximum enjoyment by withholding it as long as possible, so you'll need to have a really juicy bribe to convince me to do anything else."

L said, "Are you amused by seeing long-term battles between myself and Kira? Tell me before day twenty-seven or Misa might have already written down my name."

Then L heard Misa's steps approaching, so he whispered, "It might be funnier if she doesn't realize I can hear you."

In a few more moments, L heard the bathroom door open and close. Along with Misa's delicate steps, he heard a sloshing sound. Then she was lifting up the back of his skirt.

L said, "No, Misa, I'm done. We can have sex tomorrow."

He heard her bitter laughter, and she said, "I'm not going to get you off. I'm going to torture you."

Then he felt something hard, like plastic, probing against his entrance. It was slippery with some kind of lubricant. He tried to push against it, keep it from invading him, but Misa pushed it in. It felt odd, wrong. But, it wasn't very large. It didn't hurt, it was just uncomfortable. L settled down a bit. If Misa were going to anally rape him, at least she would use something small. Misa just left the object there, not moving it.

Then Misa said, "What you feel is the nozzle at the end of an enema hose. I've prepared this just for you, it's special. Have you ever heard of a cayenne pepper enema? Some people believe it cures hemorrhoids. Everything I've read about it says it hurts. But, I've added a much larger amount of cayenne pepper than you're supposed to. I wonder what it will do to you?"

L shivered. Momentarily, he was overpowered by a fantasy of attacking Misa and then escaping. He shoved that away. It was pointless. He would just die.

Misa said, "I'm going to open the valve in a few moments. You'll feel an uncomfortable, filling sensation from the liquid going inside you, and it will burn from the cayenne pepper."

He felt cold metal nudging the side of his leg, right at the meatiest part of the calf.

Misa said, "This is a nail gun. If you release before I tell you, I'll shoot you with it."

L quickly calculated. A deep puncture wound would be incredibly painful for days, and there was a high risk of infection, especially if Misa did not care for the wound meticulously. Although, she could be bluffing. He couldn't see if she had a nail gun or not. It was best not to risk it.

Then, he felt it coming inside him. It was the worst thing ever, a horrible, almost unendurable pain soaking deep within him, where things shouldn't go in, and a nauseating pressure that made him want to force it out. He wanted to scream. It felt like he was dying. He'd been wrong. Misa was able to do hard-core torture. L started repeating mathematical formulas out loud. At the very least, it would take his mind off the burning pain eating up his insides. Every part of him was watering. His nose ran and his eyes dripped and sweat was breaking out all over his skin.

It was an eternity of torture that went on and on, burning like acid within, making his body shake as he whimpered and let out a few involuntary cries, with steadily increasing physical pressure building up internally. It was pain every bit as intense as his pleasure earlier had been, an exact counterpoint. He wanted to expel it all so badly, but there was that possibly-imaginary nail gun pressed against his leg, and he didn't dare, he had to hold it in.

Then Misa removed the nozzle and helped him to his feet, saying, "Not yet."

She sat him down on the toilet and said, "Now."

L released, and an incredible quantity of stuff drained out of him, provoking a feeling of sharp, bitter nausea. L was shaking, leaning his head against the wall. He wanted to retch. The pressure was gone, but the burning remained, a trail of fire and acid leading from his entrance to deep within him. He was still whimpering, and no longer repeating mathematical formulas. Even as the jets of water came from underneath and cleaned him, he didn't feel clean. He felt awful and sick. He just wanted to climb into a warm soft bed and spend a couple of days totally alone. He hated Misa, hated her so intensely.

Misa said, "You are filthy."

Then she was pushing him into the shower, using her hands to steer him. L was starting to get a decent spatial map of this place by now, especially the bathroom, where he had wandered under his own direction the most. He shakily leaned against the shower wall, burning inside, sweating outside, his nose running down his face. Misa took off his skirt and then turned on the water. He could feel her bare legs periodically brushing against him as she scrubbed every part of his exposed skin. She used a comb to get cheesecake out of his hair and then washed it. She even shampooed his hair and brushed his teeth.

He just numbly endured it. He had no energy; he was wobbly and weak, continually eaten by the pain inside. Misa was gentle, and her words were kind again. She was praising him and fussing over him. It was a torture technique, one used to mess with the mind. Hurt them and then be nice.

Misa took him out of the shower, sat him on a stool and dried him carefully, keeping at him with the hairdryer until even his straightjacket was dry. L didn't feel clean. He was still sweating, his nose dripping. It hurt so much inside. Then Misa pulled him onto the floor, onto his knees on the hard cold tile. He felt her arms wrapping around him. Tears were streaming from his eyes as she hugged him and told him it would be okay. L didn't know whether he was crying from emotion or from all the cayenne pepper in his system. Misa patted his back and made soothing sounds, like a mother might to a child.

Then, she took him back to his room, strapped him into the metal frame and left him to his own devices most of the rest of the day, just checking in on him a few brief times. She was always so sweet and nice, it made him sick. He drank and drank from his waterer, but he couldn't dispel the sweating and burning and pain. Over the hours, it subsided a bit, but not much. Even when she lay him horizontal for his evening rest, he couldn't sleep. It felt like lots of insects were biting him deep within. He hated being stretched out by being strapped to the metal frame. He wanted to curl into a protective ball so badly. And, most of all, he hated Misa, with a seething, bitter hatred.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, Misa started getting serious, and L now has at least one scheme started. Hope you liked the first real lemon in this chapter.

Pepper in the colon is actually used by some adventurous enema enthusiasts. However, enough can kill. Just see the episode of the TV show "1000 ways to Die" episode 8, where a newly-released convict dies from pepper spray in the anus.

Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers! I'm really grateful for each and every review.


	5. Day Five

**CHAPTER 5: Day Five**

Before Misa returned the next day, the pain subsided just enough for L's thoughts to start working toward escape again. Ryuk had admitted there was something L could do, but Ryuk had also stated it would probably result in L's death. However, perhaps Ryuk didn't appreciate L's intelligence enough. L had faith that if he just knew what the secret of prevailing over Rem was, he could likely work out a way to try it without dying in the process.

Another possibility was to bargain with Rem somehow. If he could convince Rem to not kill him and to also let him destroy both death notes, the Kira murders would stop. Rem probably wouldn't let him bring Misa to justice, but, at this point, saving lives was far more important than bringing one criminal to justice, no matter how horrible that criminal was. The problem with that scenario was L had the feeling it would be difficult to convince Rem of anything, and it sounded like Misa wouldn't let him near Light and thus Rem until Light died. Then, once Light was dead, Rem would probably follow Misa but at that time there would be only a 4-day window until the point when Misa might write down L's name.

L thought about what was happening to Watari. He was supposedly being held just like this in another location, with Rem caring for his needs. L wondered if Misa had been torturing Watari in the same ways, and if Watari was getting sexually abused as well. L couldn't imagine Misa trying anything sexual with Watari. It just didn't seem like something she would do. Misa had made comments about how she was grossed out by Matsuda and Higuchi being "too old" so Watari should be far beyond too old from her perspective. Even though Matsuda was actually almost the same age as L, so, technically speaking, L should be too old for Misa if Matsuda was. But, Misa didn't deal in technicalities; she acted from her feelings and perceptions. There were steering forces inside Misa's psyche that L needed to understand in order to get the advantage.

Misa was twenty, but there was something in Misa that was attracted to guys who were teenagers or looked like them. L's looks had made him a target for Misa's sex drive. Perhaps Misa wanted to dominate her partners, even though she acted passive and put on a show of being obedient. She was the obsessed stalker, the woman who wouldn't take "no" for an answer. The only thing Misa wouldn't do for Light was to leave him alone, no matter how much he asked. Now, she'd focused the demanding part of her personality on L.

No, Misa would never sexually abuse Watari, and, even if she did, L couldn't imagine Watari standing for it. The Watari L knew would rather die. Watari was good at escaping, and he'd run off and get killed if Misa tried that. L considered himself. Was he weak, to stand for this treatment, or was he stronger because he chose this instead of death? L felt dirty. Not only did he let Misa do whatever she wanted sexually, he also schemed about how to use it for his own advantage.

It made him feel like he had no value as a person, that his sexual needs were nothing other than a bargaining piece. He was whoring himself out for some kind of advantage he might or might not get. That made him as dirty and soiled as any whore, and it was worse because he'd enjoyed it. She'd given him pleasure, made him come multiple times. She'd made him want it, to want to thrust into her. His body was a piece of meat, an object, nothing more than a sperm factory she pumped for the purpose of getting pregnant. And, he let her do it. He let her.

And yet still, he was scheming about how to use sex as a tool to gain more control over the situation. He had plans that he hadn't really started yet, plans that would require careful unfolding at just the right pace. He would pretend to like it, he would try to make himself like it, for the sake of getting away alive when the time was right and simultaneously stopping Kira for good.

He was tired, though, and hungry. She had starved him at first and then fed him erratically since then. L was used to eating a lot more, and he was used to being on a continual sugar high with plenty of caffeine added in. His mind wasn't functioning as well, and he could feel it. He desperately hoped he wouldn't slip up. He hoped that somehow he would get himself and Watari out alive, and Kira's power permanently destroyed. His body was strained as well. He hated the metal frame he was strapped to. He wanted to sit down, to lie down, so very much.

L fantasized desperately about a bed, a soft bed he could relax in, with clean, cool sheets and lots of pillows. He wanted to stretch out his arms. They were starting to feel quite funny from being held in the same position, and he was getting involuntary twitches in them, jerky little movements that came out of nowhere and suddenly surprised him. On each hand, he could feel his fingers with his other fingers, and he knew his fingernails were growing, untrimmed. Once they got a bit longer, he might be able to use them to saw holes through the cloth of the straightjacket and get his arms free. But that was a trick, like all his tricks for escaping, that he would need to keep in reserve until he had the information he needed.

When Misa arrived for his morning routine, L remained mostly silent, only complaining a bit about the pain still deep within his gut. Ryuk made various comments, but only to Misa. L was never left alone with Ryuk.

Then, after Misa had returned L to his room, strapped him in again, and started rubbing his face and neck, L decided to try a couple of his plans.

L said, "Misa, if you want to get pregnant, I need to be fertile. My fertility will increase if you feed me better and if I'm under less stress. The way you're treating me now, I'll just become less and less able to get you pregnant."

Misa began nibbling on an ear and then breathed hotly into the inside of his ear. She whispered, "I'll think about it."

L said, "Misa, I know celebrities in Japan don't earn that much. It must be a burden on you to pay for places to stay for Watari and myself. I have more than enough money to ease that burden. I can tell you how to get my money. Perhaps then you'll feel comfortable about treating me better."

"You're trying to bribe me?"

"Of course I'm trying to bribe you. Money can solve a lot of problems. We could even forget this ever happened. You'll be rich, and I won't pursue you because I'll know your death god will simply kill me at the first hint of pursuit."

L waited as Misa's hands disappeared and she thought things over. He had just launched two schemes to improve her treatment of him and one scheme that just might end his captivity. L knew he wouldn't really stop pursuing Misa if she let him go. He'd just pursue her with extreme stealth, and he'd try to figure out the critical secret before making any moves that Rem might interpret as threatening. L intended to see Kira stopped, and he wasn't going to give up just because a god opposed him.

Unknown to Misa, the bribery scheme also contained a hidden trap. He'd given her two reasons he might want to bribe her, to improve his lot in captivity and to possibly pay his way out of captivity entirely. This was to help hide the existence of a secret third reason. L had two accounts set up for just this purpose, for the possibility he'd get captured and need to bribe his captor.

Anyone who accessed one account would send a secret message saying, "I'm in trouble, please send help immediately."

The other account would trigger a message saying, "I'm in trouble, but please wait before sending help. If you send help too soon, I'll get in more trouble."

Either message would go to Roger Ruvie at Wammy's House. First, Roger would try to contact Watari. If Watari proved unreachable, Roger would then follow the message's indication for the proper timing, and bring in help from other detectives or from Interpol. L wondered if Roger would consider L's heirs to be old enough to take the case. It was borderline. L had been solving dangerous cases at a younger age, but L was unique. Possibly Roger would allow it, or Mello and Near would find out anyway and override Roger's decision.

And, unless Misa was incredibly sneaky about the way she accessed the bribery account, it would be obvious to any investigators that Misa Amane had been the one who did it. She would be investigated as a Kira suspect, and she probably wasn't smart enough to throw off suspicion. Her only strong advantage was that shinigami. If any detectives tried to go after Misa, they'd need some way of dealing with Rem or they'd die. Although, if they did die, that itself could provide the proof to others that Misa was indeed the second Kira. L hoped he could find a way to keep any investigators alive. If he could get a message out about the exact nature of the difficulty... and he could actually get others to believe that shinigami existed...

Misa interrupted L's thoughts by saying, "I will consider it. Especially the money."

Then, she was climbing over him, straddling his face, and he had to repeat the same oral sex performance as the previous morning, except with blueberries. L noted with satisfaction that he was quite good. He'd learned fast, and now had techniques that could wring an orgasm from her within a few moments, or drive up the intensity level and keep it there until she was helplessly rocking against him, sobbing and begging him to do more of that. He tried to give her the best experience he possibly could, only snagging his blueberries when he was sure Misa had received adequate payment for them.

But, he was disappointed with the blueberries. He knew they were loaded with vitamins but had very few calories. He was desperately hungry, and it would not matter how many he ate. Misa eventually finished with her orgasms and crouched beside him to feed him blueberries with her hands, but L knew, even though their bulk would make him feel full for a short while, his hunger would quickly return once he'd digested a bit.

He tried to start a conversation with Misa about the nutritional requirements for a fertile male, but she said nothing in return. She just gave him another love mark on his neck, and then sat on his knees, sliding her hands under his skirt.

L said, "I'm in pain, Misa, and it's probably uncomfortable for you to have your knees on the floor as you ride me for so long. Why don't we go into a bed? I'll still be in shackles and the straightjacket, so you'll be perfectly safe. You know I won't hurt you or run away. Even if I could do that, it would be more logical to do it on a bathroom break."

Then L felt Misa get up and unstrap him. She plucked at the sleeve of his straightjacket, leading him in a new direction. L carefully took note of the direction and counted his steps. The hotel suite, if that's what it was, must be quite large.

Misa got him onto a bed, which was a bit more difficult than getting him onto a couch, because it was higher. But, once on it, L felt extraordinarily free. He wriggled along, feeling like a human version of an inchworm, pressing his face into the clean sheets and inhaling the wonderful scent. It smelled like a hotel bed. L curled up on his side, knees drawn up to his chest, and an immense relief flooded through him. This was exactly how he wanted to be, and exactly where. In a bed, in his favorite posture.

But, it didn't last long. He felt Misa climbing in beside him, and she was uncurling him. He didn't resist as Misa pushed him flat onto his back and pulled his skirt entirely off, and then returned to clamber up his body. But, he resented it. He resented the way she was just climbing on top of him as if she owned him. He was finally in the nice, soft bed that he'd been fantasizing about, and he wanted to go to sleep or relax alone, not perform for Misa.

L wanted to hurt her. And, then, before he could stop himself, he said, "How would Light feel about you cheating on him?"

L immediately realized his mistake as Misa made a little growling noise and slapped him hard across his face.

Misa said, "You don't have any right to speak that way. I'm not cheating on him. It's impossible to cheat on someone who is dead. He may be walking and talking, but he's dead. He's just a body, a corpse, that follows the script you wrote. Your will is the only thing animating his dead body, and even that will fade in less than twenty days."

L said nothing in reply, and soon he felt Misa sitting on his thighs as she fondled him, teasing him to full erectness. Then, without any warning, she plunged onto him and began riding him fiercely. Instantly, L was gasping and moaning. It was good, the feelings were so good. He hated himself for liking it, but he certainly did like it, or at least his body did. He closed his eyes, even though opening or closing made no difference in what he saw, and concentrated on the pleasure.

She was warm and tight, and the constant movement was building the pressure within him, making him crave that release. And, it was much better in a soft bed rather than strapped to a hard metal frame. Even with the shackles and the straightjacket, he had more freedom of movement than before. He felt himself instinctively thrusting up into her as she moved down, and these acts caused him to let out little animalistic cries. He was being overwhelmed in a rush of instincts again. Something told him to arch his back, so he did, repeatedly, and it was exactly what he needed. Everything was coming together perfectly, building upwards with a hot, heavy pressure, thick and elastic.

She was rubbing his thighs, and driving down onto him again and again relentlessly. It didn't stop. It was just going higher and higher, more and more, until he climaxed inside her, driving himself deep in with a cry of shame and pleasure mixed together. He felt terribly sinful as he spurted his seed into her, an ecstatic rushing feeling moving through his whole body and leaving him spent and tingling in the aftermath. His hips slowly lowered and Misa followed them down to cuddle on his torso, her soft hair fanning out along L's neck, tickling it.

Ugh. Cuddling. L endured it; it was important for the illusion he was building. He pretended to like it, but he was really thinking about the bed behind him, and how much nicer it was than the metal frame. Misa never stopped messing with him, and after a time she had his penis hard again and was riding him in the same way. L wasn't as interested this second time, but it did feel incredibly good, and it was necessary, so he lost himself to the pleasure once more and tried to come as fast as possible. Before he knew it, he was trapped in the rising pleasure again and emptying into her as she praised him for being so good and helping her make a little Kira.

When for the third time she started coaxing his penis to life, L decided it was now time to try another of his plans. He rolled onto his side and, in his trapped-worm kind of way, moved against Misa as if he were making out with her enthusiastically. He kissed at her, even though she wouldn't let him kiss her face because of her own juices still all over his mouth and chin. L kissed her body instead, and after some rooting around, he found a nipple and sucked it into his mouth, hardening it and eliciting moans of approval from Misa as he rolled it around with his tongue and lips, massaging hungrily.

He squirmed against her and let out a breathy whimper. Then he said, "Misa, I really do think I could fall for you. You're making me feel things I've never felt before."

L rocked his hips against Misa, putting real feeling into it, letting his lust shine through.

He said, "You were right about my virginity. I needed to lose it so badly, but I didn't know that truth until you showed it to me."

Misa was wriggling against him in return, running her hands up and down his body and breathing faster. L could feel her accepting his sweet lies. Her body language, the relaxed feeling in her muscles, the pattern of her breathing, all spoke of acceptance. He was telling her plausible things, and she wasn't rejecting them.

Then, L decided to take it to the next level, as far as he dared to take it for the day. He nuzzled along the side of Misa's neck, nipping slightly, and then, in a husky whisper, he said, "Misa, I want to be inside you. I want to be the one making love to you, thrusting on top. I'm significantly taller than you, so I think if you lay down underneath me I can place my head above your shoulders, leaning my head against the mattress, and use it to prop myself up well enough to thrust into you, since I can't use my arms for that purpose. Will you let me do this?"

Misa made an affirmative mumble, so L started blindly trying to position himself as he'd described. Misa helped, and then he could feel her legs wrapping around his hips. He didn't know where her vagina was, but Misa grabbed his erection and positioned it just right, so the tip was starting to nudge in. At that moment, L felt a wave of panic just like the one he'd felt just before Misa took his virginity. He suddenly wanted to wait, to back out.

L squelched that feeling deep down inside him and conjured a fantasy to make it easier. L had used sex dolls a few times. He could afford the expensive models that were made of latex and looked realistic and had jointed skeletons, not those cheap blow-up dolls. L had found sex dolls to be creepy and not very satisfying. But, compared to the creepiness that was Misa, sex dolls weren't bad at all. L imagined that Misa was simply a realistic sex doll. If she made sounds or moved, it was because she'd been programmed to. If she was warm, it was because chambers within her had been filled with heated water. There was nothing alive about her. She was just a tool he had bought to relieve his sexual tension.

With that fantasy fixed firmly in his mind, he was pressing inward, being sucked into her tight wet heat. It was so inviting inside her. Misa, his little robot, his doll. He smiled as he pumped in and out, her ankles scrambling in a desperate rhythm along his back and pulling her up into him. It was nicer to be on top. He could indulge his instinct to thrust much more fully than when he was on the bottom trying to arch up into her. He let himself go into his passions once more as he plunged into her over and over, her inner walls sucking deliciously at him on every outward movement, the angle just right with this position.

Misa, he knew, was the perfect fucking machine for him. He pictured little mechanisms inside her that massaged him through her walls, seeking his pleasure, his sweet release. The head of his penis felt particularly engorged, swollen and sensitive this time. Each movement sent jolts through it. L whimpered in excitement as he learned how to thrust in this position and began building up a steady rhythm, faster and faster. It felt very good, so good he would have climaxed by now if he hadn't already been emptied so many times already.

Then he felt rhythmic pulses around his erection as Misa twitched underneath him and let out a high-pitched cry. Misa had never come when she was on top. Maybe she did like to be dominated, controlled, despite her sadistic behavior. She wanted to be underneath. L carefully considered how to profile Misa as a criminal. He was good at that skill. If he could classify her well enough, he could more easily predict and control her actions. But, it wasn't foolproof even if he did it right. He'd profiled Light perfectly, but even so, most of their battles had been stalemates.

Misa struck L as the sort of criminal who was a rabid follower, the sort who had no real direction of their own, but wanted to latch onto someone else's power and take orders. Misa had little sense of self-worth. She wanted to find power, strong power, and bask in that shadow, becoming powerful by association. Her own power wasn't good enough no matter how strong it might be. Misa was determined to be a sidekick. She had seen Light as her god, and with his downfall, she was likely to be on the hunt for a new god, a new master.

L knew that, if he played his part just right, Misa might see him as a candidate for that next best thing she was always seeking. After all, when not her captive, L was an extraordinarily powerful person, an immensely rich, extremely intelligent man who commanded respect worldwide and could get all kinds of police organizations to lend him help, as well as his underworld contacts, the ones like Aiber and Wedy that he'd captured and rehabilitated to serve his own purposes. L could do just about anything he pleased. L had the kind of power Misa craved, and he could give her more attention than Light ever had.

With these thoughts in mind, L continued driving into her, increasing the pace of his rhythm, creating steady waves of molten electricity that were cresting higher each time. He was going to come hard, he could feel it. It was going to be much better than expected for the third time in a row. He fiercely pictured the mechanical doll underneath him, shaped exactly to please and coated in latex.

There were no consequences to this. It was just masturbation. A collection of mechanical parts could never get pregnant or be mean and hurt him. Then, the feeling was rising fiercely and so fast within him, and just as it overtook him with rippling, twitching, helpless ecstasy, he pushed so deep into the doll beneath him that it should split her seams, emptying there inside her. He could hear himself moaning and shouting a few words in English, but he didn't even know what he'd said, and he could feel the sweat running down his face, collecting where his forehead was pressed to the mattress.

Misa cuddled him for some time, but he remained firmly in his hazy fantasy of Misa being a robot, and he was more interested in the bed beneath him anyway. He curled up in his favorite position and sighed in relief. It felt as if Misa had cuddled him for a long time when she got up and left. He supposed he'd done a good job of pretending to actually be interested in her, or she wouldn't have cuddled so much afterwards.

He didn't ask her why she'd let him stay in the bed. If he didn't ask, she might not reverse her decision. Then, she was back with a warm, wet cloth, and she rolled him onto his back. He opened his legs and let her clean him off, and then he felt her slipping a skirt on him. The fabric of this one felt different. It must be a new, clean one. Once it was on, he curled up again, and Misa didn't touch him, so he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, another lemon chapter. Misa is really trying to pump everything out of L, but this day she wasn't as sadistic as the previous day. Although, she still didn't feed him anything other than blueberries, and, besides, you need to give victims a day or two to recover from hard-core torture like a cayenne pepper enema, so maybe she's just being practical instead of less sadistic.

Well, in this chapter, I've got both of them performing mind-games on each other. Which will prevail? Will Misa get softer? Will either of them truly care for the other? Will any of L's schemes work? Will Ryuk ever tell L how to kill a shinigami?

Thanks to all my reviewers. I've noticed several people giving a review to each chapter. I love that!


	6. Day Six

**CHAPTER 6: Day Six**

L woke to Misa's voice and her hand shaking his shoulder. At first he was so out of it he couldn't even understand what she'd said.

Then she repeated, "You've been asleep for eighteen hours. Are you okay?"

Eighteen hours! By L's standards, five was a lot of sleep. L was still groggy, and when he tried to raise his head it throbbed, so he dropped it again. Every part of him felt just dead. He was weak and worn out, his muscles sore, his nose running, a dull pain in his belly and guts.

He said, "I'm sick, Misa."

His voice was scratchy and cracking.

L swallowed, and the motion was painful. His throat felt very dry. Well, he hadn't drunk water in nearly a day. L wondered what had happened. Had he caught some bug, or had his body simply been pushed too hard and then decided to rebel by collapsing? He found that he didn't really care. He just wanted to go back to sleep. The soft bed under him was so nice.

Misa shook his shoulder again. "Hey! Hey! Are you all right?"

L did not want to get strapped to that metal frame again. He was far too stressed to deal with it yet. He said nothing, and snuggled weakly into the bed. Then Misa was gone, her quick little footsteps receding. L felt his consciousness slipping away. The next thing he knew, Misa was waking him and pushing him into a sitting position. His head did not like being upright. It throbbed and he rested it on Misa's shoulder.

Misa said, "Lift your head. I've got water. You need to take it at the right angle or you'll choke."

L brought his head up, and the opening of a bottle was being pushed to his lips. He gulped a few times. The motion of the water slipping down his throat was painful. He knew he needed it, so he kept at it, and the pain lessened. Then, he was gulping more and more of the water, greedily, until the bottle was gone.

Misa receded once more, letting L drift almost completely to sleep, and then she made him sit up and said, "Be careful when you eat this. I have soup."

He felt a spoon being pressed to his lips, and he slurped delicately. It was warm and felt very nourishing, a soothing presence as it trickled down his throat. There were a few noodles in it, but it was mostly broth. Misa fed him one spoonful after another, until his belly felt stretched and warm, and he lay down again, refusing more. She stroked his hair very gently as he drifted back to sleep.

She woke him several more times, each time with more water and soup that she carefully hand-fed to him. L was a little bit better, but he was still so very exhausted. He was feeling that strange gratitude toward Misa again, for feeding him and granting him his most intense fantasy of as late: actually being allowed to relax in a bed for a long time.

He tried to tell himself it was just a psychological response that captives tended to feel towards any merciful gesture. He tried to tell himself that, if Misa hadn't taken him captive, the simple pleasures of eating and lounging in bed would be things he could easily give himself, and not anything special. Besides, it was possible his speech about male fertility had made an impression on her, and she was just trying to secure her chances of getting pregnant.

L had enough presence of mind to occasionally ask Misa about the time. He was still determined to keep track of the days. Certain parts of his plans were better suited to particular stages in his captivity. During the fourth meal of soup, L asked Misa to write down what he told her, and he heard scratching on paper as he gave her the information for accessing his bribery account that would trigger a message to send help, but not right away.

That action seemed to convince Misa he was better enough for sex, and soon she had pressed herself to his back as he lay curled up on his side. Misa was placing soft kisses along the side of his neck and slowly working her hands underneath his skirt. L did not feel strong enough or well enough, but he didn't want to undo his work of using sex and romance to try to get some influence with Misa, so he made some mumbling noises that he hoped communicated attraction to her and extreme sleepiness at the same time.

Misa didn't stop, but only became more insistent. Soon she had pushed him onto his back and was stroking his penis with her busy hands, teasing him to full hardness. L felt so sick and weak, but he was getting into it, he couldn't help it. Misa's hands were very skilled. He tried to think of them as being completely detached from her body, disembodied magic floating hands, and with that fantasy he hardened even more, his erection straining, sensitive.

That was when Misa plunged completely onto him with a feminine little grunt. L let out a cry at the intense feeling of sinking into her so fast and then being entirely enclosed within her. She only gave the slightest pause before she was raising and lowering herself repeatedly, sending surging excitement and shame through L. His instincts told him to move up into her, to meet her downward motions. His thrusts upward were weak and made his muscles shake. Soon he couldn't do them at all, but just lay there while Misa continued to work at him, building the pleasure within. He couldn't do anything. He felt helpless and used.

It took longer than ever before, but the excitement was gradually overpowering the burden of his exhaustion, and at last he found himself with his head thrown back, rocking his hips as he spurted into Misa. She was still sliding up and down as the waves of pleasure moved through him, building his climax to an exquisite pitch, pumping out everything he had. It felt so good, and so sinful. He was using her and being used. He was a murderer just like her. It was all so awful, that they should be here like this, sharing pleasure for such a dirty, evil purpose. Torture, and murder, and corrupting an innocent little child into becoming yet another mass-murderer.

Afterwards, Misa was cuddlier than she'd ever been before, with almost non-stop cooing vocalizations and lots of rubbing against him. L tried to calculate just how much he needed to respond in order to not undo any of his work at getting on her good side, and did exactly that much. He was extremely drained, suffering from an incredible exhaustion. All of his muscles were sore, and every slightest movement now gave him a little twinge of nausea.

Misa seemed to notice his exhaustion and discomfort after a time, and her cuddling became less sexual and more motherly, until it at last transitioned to sitting beside him and stroking his hair in an incredibly delicate way. He liked it. He tried not to, but something about the action was just so calming and made him feel safe, protected. He tried to remind himself that Misa was the one he needed to be protected from. She wasn't his protector, but his enemy. Yet his emotions were scattered and disobedient; they weren't listening to logic. Calm and satisfied, he fell asleep like that, with Misa stroking his hair.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, Misa did get a bit soft. Is it only because L's so sick and she wants to keep him alive and fertile, or is she really changing her mind about him? Or it is just another part of her hurt-then-comfort mind games?

Anyway, there isn't going to be one chapter for every single day. Soon, the time progression will speed up.

Also, there are additional plot twists coming soon. L will see Light in person before too long, and there will also be a canon minor character, the real Hideki Ryuga, coming into the picture.

If anyone feels like it, I would really love to see fan art for this fic. I would like to see L in the Misa restraints and blindfolded, wearing a straightjacket and one of Misa's skirts.


	7. Day Seven

**CHAPTER 7: Day Seven**

The next day was much the same, with a lot of sleeping and Misa hand-feeding him decent meals at regular intervals. He was really starting to feel like maybe he wasn't dying; his extreme tiredness was transitioning to something more manageable and his nose stopped running and his head didn't throb every single time he raised it. When she fed him, and let him continue to stay in the bed, he felt warm towards her, and he hated himself for it.

The thought of that horrible metal frame haunted his mind. Now that he was free of it, he dreaded going back. But, he was sure he would be strapped there again sooner or later. He tried to push the thought away. Maybe, if he were nice enough to Misa, she would decide that shackles and a straightjacket were enough and let him stay in the bed. Like this, he could even go to the bathroom on his own, and when L was absolutely sure Misa wasn't around, he spent some time hobbling around the place he was in, learning the extent of all the rooms, the placement of the doors and the furniture.

At one door, when he pressed his ear to it and listened, he often heard people passing back and forth, and once he heard something that sounded like wheels on carpet. The snatches of conversation were mostly incoherent, but from the few words he understood through the thick door it did sound like he was in a hotel. Hotel or not, enough people were nearby that screaming for a long time would probably get him out.

Then, late in the day, Misa arrived accompanied by the scent of soup, and L heard Rem's voice. He held very still in the bed and pretended to be asleep.

"Misa," Rem said, "I think this is extremely inadvisable. Why don't you just kill him?"

"He took Light. He took Light away and did that horrible thing to him. Death is too good for L."

Rem said, "I would kill him myself right now, if it wasn't-"

"Shut, up, Rem. I think he's awake."

L stayed still, breathing softly, hoping to hear more, but nothing was said. Light must be nearby, or Rem couldn't be here. L hoped that Misa would bring Light near and Light would say something helpful, but it was really too much to hope for. Misa could have left Light in a car outside or, if this was a hotel, in another room or suite.

Then Misa was shaking him and L pretended to wake up. He ate the soup Misa spoon-fed to him. She was very gentle and dabbed at his lips with something soft every time a drop of soup escaped and dribbled down his chin.

After his meal, he tried to lie down. Exhaustion was overtaking him quickly even though he didn't feel as bad as before. But Misa stopped him.

She said, "I think you're better so we're going to do some things. Rem is here to protect me. If you try to attack me, she'll stop you. I'm going to remove everything except your blindfold. Your straightjacket is filthy and so is the portion of hospital gown underneath it. Showering while wearing it isn't very helpful in cleaning it."

Misa grabbed him then and kissed him roughly. Her tongue forced its way into his mouth. The act gave him a sour, nauseous feeling, made him feel invaded, but he reminded himself how much he needed to live and to receive better treatment, so he returned it vigorously.

Rem said, "Misa, what are you doing?"

Ryuk replied, "Oh, they have sex. It's really disgusting, so I never watch."

Misa broke the kiss and said, "Well, Rem will have to watch today, so I'm protected the entire time and L doesn't try anything."

L said, "Rem, I know I will die if I ever threaten Misa in any way. I won't harm her now or later, even if she lets me go."

Misa said, "Rem is my shinigami. Mine. She loves me and listens to me. You will never be able to get her to help you against my will. From now on, always go through me when you want something from any of the shinigami."

L said, "Misa, I have a lot of money and connections. My talents could prove very useful to you over the long term. If L protects Kira from the police, then who will ever catch Kira?"

Rem said, "Misa, he does have a persuasive argument. Without Light, you need a genius to protect you."

"No, Rem," Misa said, "with two death notes and you, I'm the most powerful person in the world. I don't need to be protected. I can overwhelm any opposition."

Rem said, "I would rather not be used that way unless it is necessary. Misa, you need to think about gathering the proper resources to yourself and learning how to hide. I'm not sure if he is a proper resource, but you need to think about these things at some time."

Misa said, "Well, obviously not now, and not in front of him. He's devious and full of tricks."

With that, Misa climbed on top of L and he felt her hands working at various buckles, and the straightjacket was coming loose. L thought about what he'd heard. Rem wanted to protect Misa, but was reluctant to act. What was it that limited Rem's actions? Rem loved one human, so perhaps she loved humans in general. Rem might be reluctant to take lives. Still, if that were the case, why would Rem ally herself with those who killed so many humans?

Then the straightjacket was coming off altogether, and L felt an immense relief in his arms and entire upper torso. His muscles had been much stiffer and sorer than he'd thought. With the bindings gone, he was able to feel the full impact of having his arms pinned like that for so long. He gingerly stretched and moved, each movement provoking discoveries of more hidden pain.

Misa's fingers were still nimbly roaming over his figure, now pulling away the tattered remains of the hospital gown. L felt cold air on his bare chest. He was vulnerable, over-stimulated, sensitive. He began rubbing his arms and chest, bringing on strange feelings. It felt as if blood was running into regions where it hadn't been for a week. More than ever, L wanted to lie down, wrap up in a blanket, and just go back to sleep.

But he felt Misa pulling his skirt off, and supposed she wanted sex. He was naked now except for the shackles and the blindfold. Then he heard the clink of metal against metal and a little snick-snick-snick sound, a key turning in a lock, and the shackles fell off as well. Would it help to get on Misa's good side if he made the first move, or would it be better to wait and be quiet?

Before he could decide, Misa was pulling him to his feet and leading him toward the bathroom.

L said, "Won't Light see us?"

"Light is one floor down from here. He's completely knocked out with sleeping pills. You two are never going to talk."

L said, "You've removed everything else. Will you take off my blindfold?"

"I'll take off your blindfold," Misa said, "five minutes before Light dies. I want to make you watch him die. What do you think about that? You are responsible, after all. It's just you watching yourself murder him."

L said nothing, but continued to let Misa lead him to the bathroom. He pretended to be confused about the layout of the place, hiding that he knew his location until he felt the bathroom tiles under his feet.

L said, "Am I going to take a shower?"

"No. I need to get you really clean. We're going to take a bath. And, when you get out, I'll dress you in a nice new clean straightjacket."

With that, Misa helped him into a tub and made him lie down. Then she turned on a showerhead somewhere above and adjusted the spray until L could feel it hitting most of his body. Then L felt a wet cloth or sponge, thick with suds, rubbing against his leg.

He said, "I can do that."

"No! I don't want you moving around. Pretend you're still in the straightjacket."

L settled down and let her scrub. He wanted to be moving around. His arms ached for it. But, it was important to not disobey Misa. He'd already been pushing it by talking to Rem as he had. He didn't dare bring up the subject of the bribery account. Misa had the information to access it, and she would or would not according to her own volition. If he said anything, she might start suspecting it was a trap. It might even be that it would only spring after his death, if Misa waited that long to access the money.

Misa let the shower run on him and continued to scrub everywhere. It was more like a lie-down shower than a bath, as the tub wasn't filling. The plug must not be in.

After a time, Misa said, "I'm going to remove your blindfold and wash your face. Keep your eyes closed or there will be more torture than I'm already planning."

L kept his eyes tightly closed as he felt Misa undoing the straps behind his head that kept the blindfold on. His entire face being exposed to the air felt very weird, just as his chest being exposed earlier had. He had gotten very used to being in Misa's restraints. Misa gently scrubbed his face, being careful not to get soap in his eyes. It felt wonderful, and very intimate. Gratitude was surging within him again, and he was almost too tired and sick to squelch it this time.

Then she washed his hair, brushed his teeth, and put the blindfold back on. That was about the time L felt the tub beginning to fill. Before it was half-full, he felt Misa climbing into the tub with him. He instinctively flinched back from her, then tried to force himself to relax.

It was difficult, though. Without the straightjacket, he was getting more skin-to-skin contact than usual as she molded herself to his body. It felt too vulnerable, too stimulating. She was getting quite far into his personal space, and all her sliding little movements were incredibly arousing. She didn't even have to start fondling him; he was hard within moments of when her wet, naked breasts settled onto his chest.

The warm water sloshed around as she moved, and the steam hung in the air, making it thick. In any other circumstances, the scene would be very languid and relaxing. But, L felt a lurking danger. There was a poisonous feeling to Misa. L shivered as she adjusted her body and her naked belly rubbed against his hard-on. He didn't know what to do. Should he use his arms, or not? Touching her would be exciting, and would help forge the emotional connection that might save his life and spare him some torture, but, earlier, Misa had told him to pretend he was still wearing a straightjacket. Was that command current?

"Misa, can I touch you?"

"Yes."

L reached out then, and ran his hands over her slender form. She was as slightly built as he was, but considerably shorter. She fit what was in demand for female models. She was twenty, but looked fifteen or sixteen. She could easily model cutesy clothing for women who wanted to pretend to be younger than they actually were. Her flesh was soft and had delicate curves in all the right places.

Touching her felt icky and arousing all at once. L hoped Misa would start fucking him soon, to relieve his burning need and get it over with. He didn't want to be stuck in foreplay for a long time, enduring all his conflicting feelings. His fingers roamed over her back, stroking gently, and she snuggled into him. He waited for her to impale herself. He knew he couldn't be on top this time. He was still feeling too weak and ill to do so much work.

Misa continued to snuggle into him, so he rubbed back against her. His erection was swollen and ungainly, prodding against her leg and stomach. The water resistance pulled at it with every movement, filling him with maddening sensations. He was so tired, exhausted enough that being highly aroused was draining his remaining strength. He wanted it to be over with, but as he pet Misa and cuddled her, she just kept snuggling into his body, making no move to transition to the actual sex.

L was feeling nauseous, from the warm sloshing water and being so ill and Misa rubbing herself all over him like she owned him. He felt like he might retch, and maybe that would be good because then Misa would believe he was really sick and perhaps she'd let him go back to bed and sleep. But, it was more important to get on her good side, and puking on her during foreplay wouldn't lead to nice romantic associations for her. No, now that his hands were free for once, he had to make a good impression on her. He rubbed her back and squeezed her sides and hugged her for several more minutes, noting that her breathing was speeding up gradually.

When he thought the time was right, he said, "Oh, Misa, you feel so good," and she made little purring murmurs in reply, sounding quite pleased.

He reached out with his lips then, thankful she'd brushed his teeth recently, and drew her into a gentle kiss, gradually working at her with rhythmic movements, trying to read her body with his hands to tell what she liked, repeating those successful actions and building his performance. The kissing made his nausea spike, but he endured it. In some ways, kissing was more intimate than sex. It was easier to have sex with someone you hated than to have a nice, passionate kiss. With kissing, he could make Misa believe in him.

He catalogued her little gasps, her rate of breathing, the way she pressed against him and rubbed, using it all as fodder for his analysis. Then, when he thought the time was exactly perfect, he nipped gently at her lower lip, pulling at it with his teeth, opening her mouth, and then slowly sliding his tongue inside. This was the worst part of it, so he conjured up an intense fantasy that he was licking out the last bit of ice cream from a dish instead of kissing Misa. His nausea began fading as a result of his growing arousal. His erection was almost painful, throbbing and straining, needing to be itched and rubbed. But he ignored it and did his best to eat out Misa's warm, sloppy mouth.

She responded enthusiastically, so he reached down with one hand and began playing idly between her legs, pulling gently at various folds, stroking, zeroing in on the clitoris with some fingers, circling it gently but insistently, while other fingers located her entrance and traced its outline, not going inside but teasing, working her into a greater state of arousal. Before long she was panting and whining and trying to push down onto his fingers, so he slipped two inside and rubbed hard, plunging in again and again.

Then Misa took the initiative and positioned his engorged cock at her entrance and began sliding down onto it. L gasped, throwing his head back. He wanted to thrust up into her hard and fast but he was so drained and tired, and he only managed a few weak movements. Still, he kept one hand at her clitoris, rubbing it, teasing it. Misa's muscles were hard and straining as she slowly drove herself down onto him several times. L felt himself losing control as that instinctual pleasure began seeping into his brain once more, pushing out his thoughts, making him a creature of actions and responses, a beast of lust.

L groaned and wriggled helplessly under Misa as her mouth came down to claim his and her vagina pumped at him slowly and continuously. Now she was the aggressive one, having her way with him. He let her do as she wanted, attacking him, stripping him of his human qualities, making him into a moaning, lustful, obedient mess.

Misa broke the kiss but continued to slide slowly up and down on his shaft, building up the heavy, thick, electric feeling within him so gradually it was almost a torment.

In a very smug voice, she said, "Perhaps there has never been a prisoner in the history of the world as thoroughly owned as you are right now. I could kill you whenever I please, in whatever way I pleased, and I could write down anything for you to do or to feel as you died. I could control you so completely; your thoughts, your actions, the pain in your body."

L did not like the way this train of thought was going, but he didn't think anything he could say would make it any better. It might just draw her attention to it more.

He said, "Yes, Misa."

And he continued to moan and gasp and rub his fingers at her clit while she pumped him full of such sinful pleasure, so wrong and dirty.

Misa said, "I own you, L. You must do anything I say."

She stroked her hands down his sides possessively.

"I own this body. Tell me I do."

"Yes, Misa. You own my body."

Misa grabbed a nipple and pinched it, sending a jolt of pain and pleasure at once through his system. Her attention to his penis was still just slow movements, rubbing up and down, full of building tension. It was so slippery and tight inside her.

Misa said, "I can give you pleasure. I can make you come. I will make you come inside me. Tell me what I'll make you do."

"Misa, you'll make me come inside you. I won't have a choice."

"Yessssss," Misa purred.

L was starting to feel nauseous again, but something about their dirty talk was also turning him on. It was sick and awful, but it was so raw and direct, unabashedly erotic. He was more sensitive and engorged than ever. Misa was physically teasing him to such heights of arousal with her slow movements that he could already tell he was going to come hard, helplessly losing himself in his feelings.

Misa took his free hand and placed it on her belly as she continued to plunge up and down, making the water slosh, making L tremble with need in his very core.

Misa said, "And, what's going to happen after you come inside me? Say it."

"My semen will go into you, and make you pregnant."

"Yes," Misa said, using her hand to rub his hand in circles on her belly, "it will go inside here, and start a baby, and I'll become rounder and bigger. I might even let you live long enough to see me swelling up."

Misa dipped her head down then, and right in his ear, she said, "Yes, I'll get so big and round with our baby inside me. And... it will... it will be your fault... for coming inside me... ah!"

And then Misa was plunging on to him faster, and her internal muscles spasmed as she let out a little shriek, her thrusts pausing as her muscles tried to twitch in every direction at once and her body trembled in place. L was insane with need, and he used her pause to grab her hips and thrust up into her repeatedly. All the long-building tension was coming to a head, a line of fire moving through his penis and into her with a relentless force. He let out a deep masculine yell as he felt his orgasm slamming into him, spurting what felt like an enormous amount of cum into Misa. His climax was hard and vicious and took a lot out of him, leaving him weak, trembling and feeling slightly sicker than when he had started the bath.

As he shivered there in the bath, and she withdrew, and intimately rinsed him free of sweat, he thought it was over then, that he would be allowed to rest. He felt numb, and exhausted, drained of every last bit of his strength. He let her dry him off and blow-dry his hair and put him in a t-shirt and a skirt and a nice new straightjacket that smelled so clean and fresh, and then the shackles came back on. While Misa was putting on the straightjacket, he tried to imperceptivity puff himself up with air so that he might be able to get out of the straightjacket later if he really put effort into it. When she was done dressing him, he tried to amble off in the direction of the bed, but she grabbed him and steered him another direction, toward the room where she had left him strapped to that metal frame for so long.

He tried to pretend he didn't know where she was going; he didn't want to give away that he knew the layout of the rooms, but when he felt her trying to put him into the metal frame he slumped away from her, falling heavily to the floor.

"No," he said, ashamed to hear a begging tone in his voice.

He couldn't face that thing again. Not yet. He wanted a bed so badly. How had Misa lasted fifty days?

He said, "Misa, I'm still sick, and I've been very good. Please let me sleep in a bed one more night. What do you want? Should I lick you just the way you like?"

Misa pulled him up and slapped his face hard, leaving one cheek stinging fiercely. Then she did the same to the other cheek.

She said, "Oh, do you think it's all fucking and no torture? You never let me stay in a bed for two days when you had me locked up. Well, you're barely ill at all any more. And, I've got some new torture I've been saving up. I had to special order something that was hard to get."

Misa pushed L into the metal frame and, with a sense of panic and finality, he felt the straps fastening him in. Right then, he wished he would have puked on her in the bathtub. Then she would know he was sick and...

No, he was thinking too much about his short-term comfort. The captivity was wearing him down too much. He needed to focus on larger issues, on making Misa happy and surviving and getting that critical secret that Rem and Ryuk surely knew. He remembered then, that Rem had supposedly been watching the entire sexual encounter, because he couldn't be trusted with his arms free and legs unshackled, and he was glad of the blindfold. He wouldn't want to see that face hovering over him while he had sex.

Misa was gone, and when she came back, she placed the frame horizontal, explaining that it would be very painful and she didn't want him to thrash so hard he knocked the whole thing over.

Then she was pressing something to his leg. It felt like a sheet of paper.

Misa said, "L, can you guess what this is? Can you guess what I'm going to do to you?"

He said, "Paper cuts?"

"No. This is a plastic cup, and I've got the open end pressed against your leg, but some paper is across the opening, protecting you from them."

L heard a tiny little sound then, almost like a fly, and he thought he knew what Misa had.

Misa said, "I'm going to shake the cup and make them angry, then I'll pull the paper away. They will only be able to get you, not me."

L felt the plastic cup shaking against his leg, and an angry buzzing. He tensed, and then the paper was whisked away and it felt like four red-hot needles were inserted into his leg. He cried out and tried to pull away, but there was nowhere to go. It kept burning, a horrible acid-like pain.

Misa said, "It looks like all of them stung you. They will die without their stings. Now they're safe for me."

The plastic cup was removed, and a minute later, Misa was back with another one. The entire time, the stings hurt horribly, a long-term lingering pain that didn't seem like it would get better any time soon. It was like the cayenne pepper enema, but on the outside. L concentrated hard, trying to fold himself deep within his mind. If he wasn't so tired, it would be easier, but it took so much effort to block out the pain, draining him even more.

Each time the bees stung him, it completely undid his work at trying to ignore the pain. He thrashed and yelled and tried to jerk away. He became aware after a time that he was crying very softly, quiet little breathy sobs and tears running very slowly down his face.

Then he begged. He said, "Please, Misa. No more. Please take the bees away. Please don't hurt me."

It was a constant chant of pleading he kept up, while Misa went through two more cycles of letting him be stung. Then he heard her counting.

At the end, she said, "Twenty-seven stings! They all look so red and round. Does it hurt when I touch them?"

And then she was running her hands across them, sending shocks of pain through L's system.

L said, "It hurts. You've hurt me, Misa."

"Yes," she said, "I hurt you, didn't I?"

"Yes, you hurt me and made me cry."

She came close them, so close he could feel her breath on his face, inhaling its warm girly scent. Misa tickled his chin in a playful way.

Then, she left and came back with ointment and bandages. She fussed over him, cooing and calling him a poor baby and talking about how sorry she was she had to hurt him. The ointment cooled the stings a bit, but not much. It was a constant, throbbing, burning pain. He wanted to curl into a ball and cry by himself, not have Misa attending to him with her fake concern.

Just before Misa left, she came right up to his ear and whispered in it, "I've been thinking about how to make you die. What do you think about public masturbation, ending with you cutting off your own penis and eating it?"

Then he heard her quick steps walking away and the door closed.

A moment later, Ryuk's voice said, "I think you really pissed her off. Well, I guess you've got twenty days before she might write down your name. And then twenty-three days of suffering before she finally offs you."

L said, "Do you feel like telling me that secret now? If I run out of time, there won't be any more game for you to watch."

"Oh, I think I'll wait and see. Humans are most interesting when they're backed into a corner and have to create their own plans."

For the first time, L began thinking about the possibility of killing himself before Misa got a chance to. If all his plans failed... it might be best to end it cleanly and deny her the satisfaction.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well another chapter of Misa switching insanely between naughty and nice. Will she ever settle down and pick just one?

Next chapter covers a week of time, with a cliffhanger ending.

Thank you so much to my reviewers! It makes me feel so nice when I see several reviews per chapter!


	8. Week Two

**CHAPTER 8: Week Two**

Over the next week, Misa settled into a regular routine. Torture was every other day, giving him the days between to recover. Thankfully, Misa didn't add any new tricks to her repertoire. The old tricks were bad enough. Misa hand-fed him three healthy meals a day. Not sweets and cake, but soup, or meat, or vegetables. Fruits, usually berries, were a special treat that he usually had to eat out of her vagina, though sometimes she would hand-feed those to him as well. He was left strapped into the metal frame most of the time, horizontal at night, vertical during the day, and was unstrapped just for bathroom breaks, showers, sex, and what Misa called "nap time."

For an hour or two each day, usually after sex, she let him lie down in a bed, relaxing, sleeping, or doing whatever he wanted. L didn't know why Misa allowed him to have "nap time" in a real bed; perhaps he'd convinced her it would help his fertility, but every time she let him do it, he had an immense feeling of gratitude toward her. It was such a little thing, but it meant so much, and even though he knew it was completely wrong and illogical, he couldn't help liking Misa for letting him do it. His dread and fear of being strapped to the metal frame was growing day by day, a sickening thought always lurking in the back of his mind even when he was deeply immersed in pleasure with Misa.

Sex happened two or three times a day, and he found himself more and more deeply enmeshed in a web of conflicting feelings about it. He was increasingly looking forward to it, because it felt really good and it relieved the tedium and let him mostly forget about the pain for a while. But getting used to the situation, accepting it, made him feel yet more shameful and dirty as time went on. It was a thick, evil, sticky kind of grime that was working its way deeper and deeper into him. He was immensely sickened that he had never tried to tell Misa "No" or fight her off and run away. He couldn't afford to have a will of his own in sexual matters, and the disgrace of it was eating him inside. He was a whore, buying things from Misa with sex and affection, using it as a tool for manipulation and lust. And, deep inside, he thought that he was as degraded as any whore.

Yet, sometimes, when she was snuggled up against him, he felt a strange, tender intimacy, a hint of love. He wanted to protect her and help her, to somehow strip her of all her evil qualities and lose himself in a love affair with whatever was left. Those moments scared him the most, because he could almost visualize it happening. A part of him wanted to believe that Misa was redeemable, and that was an incredibly dangerous line of thought, a poison that could easily kill him.

When Misa wasn't giving him affection of the fake kind, when there was something real and loving in Misa's behavior, it was always sick in some way. L was sure that when Misa thought of him warmly, she didn't exactly think of him as a person. He could read this attitude in the way Misa cared for him. Misa was spending hours each day on his care, brushing his teeth, brushing his hair, giving him a shower every day. He felt strangely domesticated, or as if he were her doll.

L remembered her creepy dolls. He was just like one of them, with black hair, pale skin and unusual eyes. He was a gothic doll, in a straightjacket, blindfold and skirt, perfect to use as any Halloween decoration. Misa had broken from reality in some profound way. To her, he had become something and someone other than just L. He was her little doll, to play with as she wished, and he was also a substitute for Light. Sometimes, especially during the act of sex, she even called him "Light."

No, Misa certainly wasn't sane. The question was exactly how to work within the odd twists of her mind to push her buttons so she wouldn't kill when the time came. L had already managed to get better treatment, so he thought he had a chance of convincing Misa to let him live, if it came to that. But, Misa's behavior wasn't very predictable and she switched wildly between kindness and cruelty. L needed to learn to work with her insanity, or even to see the real Misa underneath it all. Making her fall in love with him in such a short time might be impossible, but if he could make her hesitate just enough to not write his name down, to give him more time, the scope of his plans could expand until surely one of them would work. That sounded doable.

L carefully watched for a chance to work on his plans other than the one of getting on Misa's good side, but he only managed to get Ryuk alone once during the week, during a naptime lounging in the bed.

L said, "If I destroy both notebooks and run away, will Rem not kill me?"

Ryuk said, "Nope, she'll kill you. If you were anyone else, though, you could probably set something up to defeat her. You're just not in a very good position to do anything even if you were loose."

L said, "Rem is reluctant to kill humans. Am I correct?"

Ryuk sighed and said, "She would kill you in an instant if she thought you'd threaten Misa. And, the reason she is holding back isn't the reason you think. Rem doesn't love humans, she just loves Misa."

After that, L went into a long guessing session where he proposed various reasons why Rem might not want to kill, and Ryuk didn't affirm any of them. L listened closely for any hint of which guess, if any, might be right, but he couldn't tell. He wished he could see the shinigami's face, to have a better chance to figure out if he was even getting close. L knew how good he was at reading humans and perhaps, just perhaps, that talent carried over to gods of death as well.

But then, L's hearing caught Misa's returning steps in another room, and he whispered, "Be quiet."

When Misa opened the door and came in, L was sure she hadn't realized he'd talked to Ryuk. There was no scolding, no punishment, not even a change in the tone of her voice. Instead she was nice to him, talking to him softly and cuddling him in that way he knew meant sex was coming soon. He cuddled back as best he could in his straightjacket, trying to squelch down within him those traitorous feelings that actually liked Misa, while at the same time acting as if he were hesitantly letting those feelings to the surface, slowly falling for Misa in a way that was as realistic as possible.

He let her put more love marks on his neck, and then he kissed her using every technique he'd picked up by experimenting with her, and she responded like a woman who might love him a little bit. He got hard so fast from just kissing her that it was almost embarrassing, but he was glad of his erection when she reached under his skirt and cooed in pleasure to find it already ready for her. This was yet more evidence for Misa that he liked her. He was forging a connection, a wonderful connection that might let him live.

Misa tried to climb on top, but he made a wriggling worm-like movement and managed to get on top himself. He giggled at her and seductively whispered, "I know you like it this way, Misa."

And, she did. She liked to be dominated, to have him on top, thrusting into her. She came more often in that position. He liked it too. It made him feel less vulnerable, and it allowed him to indulge fully in his instinct that told him to push into the female, an instinct that was surprisingly strong; he hadn't even known he'd had it before he lost his virginity. Being on top without arms was awkward and made his neck sore from using his head as support, but he was actually getting pretty talented at it. He no longer needed Misa's help to find her vagina, and he'd developed a rolling motion of the hips that pushed his penis in and out with less strain on his neck, and it also had the advantage of entering at an angle that Misa really responded to.

Before positioning himself for entry, he found one of Misa's nipples and suckled it fiercely until she was moaning in pleasure. Then he placed his head on the mattress above her shoulder and started entering her slowly, feeling her trembling warmth around his penis, enclosing more and more of him deliciously as he pushed inside. She was running her hands up and down his sides, filling him with a feverish, needy lust. But, still, he went slowly at first for her. It drove her crazy, it always made her beg for him to speed up, and, in that begging, he could hear the slightest tones of something like love. She wanted him to make her beg and then give her exactly what she needed.

When he'd seated himself completely inside her, he slowly withdrew, then rolled his hips to thrust in again, adding a little twist when he was fully inside that was designed to rub his public bone against her clitoris.

He pulled out and did it again and again, a slow rhythm, out-in-twist, out-in-twist, building the heat in his groin and making Misa squirm underneath him.

As he continued to drive himself into her repeatedly, he said, "Oh, Misa, you feel so good."

And, it was entirely true. Misa did feel good, and the experience felt good, as long as he concentrated on the physical sensations. Misa like to be praised and told how wonderful the sex was, and the truth in his voice could only help matters.

Then Misa wrapped her legs around L's waist and said, "Do it the way I want."

L could hear the pleading tone in her voice. He speeded up his strokes, not quite enough to please her, he knew.

Sure enough, after a few more moments, Misa gasped, "Faster!"

He obliged, and Misa started almost purring, letting out little feminine murmuring moans. He could feel his excitement rising along with her own, and he wanted to plunge fierce and fast with wild abandon, but he knew he'd come too fast that way. His priority was pleasuring Misa. He knew exactly what she wanted: the right speed, the little clit-grinding twist at the end of each stroke, the things to say. She wanted to be dominated, but she also wanted obedience. There was a particular style of dirty talk that was sure to turn her on.

L said, "This body is yours, Misa. It exists for your purposes, only for you."

He was grinding harder, thrusting deeper, and she was shivering underneath him now. She was close, he could tell.

L said, "Misa, I'm going to come inside you, just like you want. I'm going to get you pregnant today."

He could feel the difference in her internal muscles then, and it almost sent him over the edge. She was gripping him differently, trembling internally, and suddenly she was a lot wetter than she'd been a moment ago.

She said, "Yes, L. You're going to fill me... fill me with your seed. And then, my tummy will swell up... with a baby. It'll be your baby... yours."

Misa was getting really wild now, gripping him tighter than ever, her heels scrabbling at his hips as he thrust into her over and over, never letting up, their pleasure rising together. The tighter her vagina got, the more slippery it was. L almost couldn't contain himself.

He said, "Yes, Misa. Misa, it feels... so good... inside you."

Misa said, "You'll die... before seeing... your baby's face... I'll have it... not you!"

With that, Misa had sent herself over the edge and she was letting out a little scream-snarl, coming hard, her voice laden with lust and revenge. L felt a deep, hot awful shame inside himself when he came a moment later. He buried his length deep inside her, emptying his semen, trying not to think about the implications of what he'd done as waves of bliss moved through him. It was physical, that was all. A female body could easily cause pleasure in a male body. It didn't mean anything else.

Though, afterwards, as she cuddled him and he responded, pretending to like it, there was a part of him that wanted to remain her prisoner forever, a part of him that was happy to be a little domesticated doll that she fussed over and fucked and occasionally hurt, but maybe the hurting would eventually go away. He couldn't deny it. Even in people as cold and logical as himself, even in someone as sadistic as Misa, there was something that changed because of sex, a bond that was formed. L just hoped he could use that bond to escape and live before it ate his soul.

During the after-sex cuddling, he was already pondering the next step in trying to get her to think a little more fondly of him, to let down her guard and make her less willing to kill him. It was time to start talking about "our child" to Misa. If he could make her think of herself as a mother, and himself as the father of her child, and the child itself as a real person she would need to care for, a person who would take fifteen or twenty years to grow into the next Kira, Misa might soften up a bit.

L started tentatively. He brought up the subject of parenting styles, education, and the day-to-day arrangements a child would need in its life. Misa listened to him, her breathing sounding uncomfortable. She probably hadn't thought about this plan realistically so far. She'd spent a lot of time talking about pregnancy, and about a grown-up Kira following in Light's footsteps, but she probably hadn't really thought about what would need to come between those two events.

From the tone of her voice the few times Misa answered questions, L became certain he was getting to her. Misa did sound positively unsettled. She probably wasn't ready to be a mother nine months from now, and she knew it. Then, L tried to calm her, to comfort her with the sort of words a supportive lover would use for a mother-to-be. Toward the end of his talk, he even threw in a few hints that, if he just lived, he could be there as a father to help her with the child; they could have a happy little family.

Then, he just snuggled up next to her and let her think. Her muscles felt stiff, her stance awkward. After a time, she left without saying anything, leaving him alone in the bed for hours longer than normal before she returned and strapped him to the metal frame for the night.

Two days later, in the middle of L's fourteenth day of captivity, he heard footsteps that were different. Not Misa, not her quick little delicate steps. Someone heavier, larger; someone who set the feet down firmly. It sounded like... Watari?

L found his heart beating faster, and he hoped so hard that it was Watari. But, if it were, then wouldn't that mean Watari would die soon? Also, L would have to tell Watari to leave him in captivity. Right now, escape was equivalent to death... unless Watari had that critical piece of information L needed, the one Ryuk knew but insisted that L wouldn't be able to use without dying in the process.

Then L heard an unfamiliar man's voice say, "Look at you!"

The steps came closer, and L felt his blindfold being taken off. At first, his eyes couldn't even focus. He hadn't seen a thing except the inside of the blindfold in two weeks. Then he blinked rapidly, looked around, and was actually able to see this time.

In front of him, he saw a middle-aged man in a hotel employee's uniform, looking around in disgust. On carpet surrounding the metal frame, there were dead bees, spilled food and some spots of blood. And, perhaps, a two-week-old urine stain.

The man began undoing the straps holding L in and said, "Are you okay?"

L said, "Leave me here. My girlfriend is just playing a game with me. She'll be back soon."

"No," the man said, "Misa Amane is going to get kicked out. The manager is going to be in here. Yamaguchi Hotel is a high-class establishment. It doesn't matter if she's a star. If she wants to play cutting games with her druggie boyfriend, she'll have to do it elsewhere."

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, it looks like L's going to be released whether he wants to be or not. Will Misa kill him when she finds out? Will he be able to secretly launch some new plan?

And, it looks like Misa didn't actually think through the pregnancy thing very well. She just thought about the revenge and the years-later end result, not the reality of actually raising a child.


	9. Caught

**CHAPTER 9: Caught**

As the hotel employee released the straps, he said, "Guests are only allowed to keep the cleaning staff out for two weeks. After that, they send me to see if anything is wrong. Last time we threw out a celebrity, it was for keeping a tiger in his rooms."

L thought fast. This man was going to release him regardless. It could be a great opportunity to put Interpol or some other detectives on Misa's trail, but if Misa realized he'd been loose and unsupervised for any amount of time, she would probably suspect exactly that and kill him.

L said, "I'm playing a game with Misa, you understand? I will get a sexual reward if I don't escape and nobody else lets me out. I'm willing to pay you a huge bribe just to let me stay like this until Misa comes back. Wait until she's in here, and then throw her out without letting her know you already found me earlier. Make sure a bunch of employees come here all at once to throw her out, not just yourself."

L knew that if only one employee came, Misa might just control that person to not throw her out, but she'd never risk killing a bunch at once. Or, if she did, then it would leave an obvious clue.

The man paused. "How much?"

L quoted a figure that he was sure was about five times the amount the employee made in an entire year.

The man's eyes bulged.

L said, "And that's just for doing what I already described. I'll double that amount two months from now if nothing of you finding me without Misa here ever leaks out. It must be completely secret, erased from hotel records and everything. Misa must believe that nobody found me earlier. I suggest you do not include yourself as part of the eviction group if you can't act, and that you tell nobody else of this so they'll be suitably surprised when they see me."

L didn't really expect Misa to suspect something and then check into it that thoroughly, but it didn't hurt to be safe.

The employee said, "I can do that. But I need the money now."

L said, "Let me out of this straightjacket and give me five minutes alone on your cellphone, and I'll get it transferred. Go into the living room of this suite, and if Misa returns before I'm done, run into this room and pretend you found me right that moment."

The hotel employee followed L's instructions. L quickly transferred the money to an account and then sent the man a text message with the full details of how to access the account. Then L called Roger Ruvie at Wammy's House. He first made sure Roger was recording the call so that no detail would be lost by the old man's memory, and then quickly explained how murder notebooks worked, and the existence of shinigami, and how he was being held captive by Misa Amane, the second Kira, while the first Kira was in the process of dying.

L told Roger about how he couldn't risk escape because he could be killed from a distance, and he shouldn't be rescued until he'd figured out the secret weakness of Rem the shinigami. He also told Roger the exact dates when crucial events would happen: Light's death, the first point at which Misa might write down his name, and the end of the fifty-day time period. He instructed Roger to pass on all this information to Interpol or to detectives who could be trusted, but not until he'd had a longer time to work on discovering the secret by himself. Outside interference would just hurt at this point.

Roger was flabbergasted and sounded skeptical the few times he made comments, but L knew Roger's beliefs didn't matter. The information would get into the hands of someone who could use it, eventually, and Misa would get caught. L had an immense relief. No matter what happened from now on, Misa would be caught. Although, he was also sad. Rem might kill everyone who came after Misa, piling up a huge body count. Still, something held the shinigami back, or that would have already happened. And now, whoever came after Misa would have warning that a shinigami was on her side. Those people would not be blindly walking into a trap. If they didn't want to face death by a shinigami, they could refuse to take the case or send proxies while keeping their identities hidden.

Then the hotel employee returned and put L back in the restraints exactly as he'd been before. The man promised to keep watch for Misa's return using the hotel's security cameras in the lobby and hallways, and then send a whole squad of employees, not including himself, to throw out Misa ten minutes after she entered her suite.

When the man left, L was buzzing with energy. He'd done it! He'd essentially defeated Kira! Misa would have to be very lucky in order to escape after this. Even if she fled and tried to go into hiding, her face was too recognizable, and she wasn't terribly intelligent. Although, there was a good chance she wouldn't get cornered by others until after L's death, since they had been instructed to wait. Now, the real mission had changed to simply surviving instead of both surviving and catching Misa.

There was one problem, though. Bargaining with Rem was now less viable. L could promise Rem he'd never turn Misa in and would protect her from others, but even if Misa let him live a long time, others would eventually corner Misa, and then Rem would probably realize she'd been betrayed by L leaking information. Either Rem or Misa would probably kill him as soon as that realization struck. If he did bargain with Rem, it would become a race against time to find out that critical secret before his betrayal became obvious.

Before long, L heard Misa return. He wondered if the group of hotel employees would rush in while the two of them were having sex. That would be embarrassing, but it didn't really matter. The only thing that mattered was that Misa should think L had never been loose.

Misa's quick steps approached, and L smelled soup. He was relieved. He didn't want a group of strangers to see his deepest shame. Misa tickled his chin and began feeding him the soup one spoonful at a time, cooing to him and fussing over him. She had something soft and used it to dab at the corner of his mouth whenever a few drops of soup didn't quite go in.

L's heart was beating incredibly fast. Any moment, all hell was going to break loose. But, at the same time, a part of him was sad. There was something nice about being fussed over and hand-fed by Misa like this. It was almost loving, almost maternal. It made him feel special.

Then L heard an angry, insistent knocking, muffled by the closed door and the distance between him and the sound.

Misa said, "I'll get rid of them."

Then L heard her quick, delicate steps moving away from him. He really hoped she wasn't stupid enough to control them into leaving her alone. Then he'd be responsible for a whole group of people dying when it could have been just one.

A few moments later, he heard a bunch of voices all at once, an unintelligible babble with angry, argumentative tones throughout. Then he heard a woman's voice rise above the babble and say, "We need to inspect every room. You could have a tiger in here."

L heard a flurry of different footsteps moving in multiple directions, the sounds still muffled by the wall and the door between him and them. Then, he heard the door to his own room open, and a loud, traumatized gasp.

A man's voice said, "Mariko, come look at this!"

L said, "I'm fine, don't worry about me. My name is Hideki Ryuga."

A woman's voice said, "That isn't Hideki Ryuga."

Then Misa was screeching and entering L's room, and a whole bunch of voices followed her, all talking at the same time.

"What the hell is that?"

"He has needle marks all over his legs."

"Did he just say he wants to be tied up?"

"Some kind of cross-dresser?"

"Calm down, and deal with this rationally. Misa Amane is going to be kicked out. We have to smuggle this guy outside without attracting media attention."

"Ewwww, Mariko! Don't touch him, he looks diseased!"

And then L felt hands undoing the straps that held him to the metal frame. L said, "Misa, stop them from letting me loose."

Misa said, "I didn't do anything wrong! He wants to be restrained. See, it has wheels. I can wheel him out like this."

A man's voice said, "Misa Amane, this hotel will not tolerate scandals. We will refund today's payment and you will be gone with him as soon as your possessions are gathered together. Does he have any clothing that covers his legs?"

Misa said, "I just have my clothing here, and a few t-shirts. I only have skirts. I could put my leggings on him."

L heard a disgusted sigh, and then a man's voice saying, "Misa Amane, we will have a limousine waiting at the back entrance, and we will escort you there with plenty of employees to surround you so you shouldn't be recognized. We need you out fast. I guess we don't have time to send for trousers."

Then L felt himself falling free of the metal frame. Hands caught him before he could land entirely on the floor, and they brought him to his feet, steadying him. L's legs were weak and shaking. In the next moment his blindfold was pulled off, and he saw two women, one old and one young, loosening his straightjacket.

In a few more moments it was loose enough that the two women stepped back and he was able to pull it off himself, revealing the t-shirt underneath. Immediately upon release, his arms had that incredibly weird feeling once more, of stiffness and strange pains and blood suddenly rushing into different areas than it had been in before. He felt a giddy sense of happiness at being free of both the frame and the straightjacket.

He blinked and looked around the room, counting eighteen hotel employees, and he could still hear a few roaming around outside the room. The guy he'd bribed had really taken him seriously when he'd said to send a group. All of the people looked incredibly stunned. Misa was not visible, but she entered the room shortly afterward with the key to the shackles and carrying some pink-and-black striped thigh-high leggings, and with what had to be Ryuk drifting behind her. L made sure to pretend he couldn't see Ryuk, even though his eyes wanted to linger in that direction and study the shinigami.

Misa got him out of the shackles as hotel employees swarmed about, packing up every personal object in sight into plain cloth bags or cardboard boxes and loading them onto a wheeled cart. Ryuk made a few comments about how Misa was in trouble that visibly infuriated her, but she didn't talk to him.

L tried to put on the leggings, but he wasn't familiar with such clothing, and he was weak and shaking and his arms were just slightly numb, so Misa ended up helping him. As Misa dressed him, he caught a glimpse of himself in the full-length mirror on the wall and couldn't help but stare. His legs were covered with bandages and with bee-stings that looked kind of like needle marks. His neck had numerous purplish-red bruise-like love marks, and the dark bags under his eyes had intensified, making him look more like a horror-movie character than ever before.

It was a much sicker version of his usual look, which had never impressed anyone with his health. He looked ill and terribly abused. His outfit was decidedly odd, with a black t-shirt bearing the logo of a J-pop band, a green skirt that came down just barely low enough that his dick didn't dangle into sight, and now the pink-and-black striped leggings. A hotel employee gave him shoes, brown leather ones that pinched his feet but at least they were a size that he could wear them, and then the entire mass of hotel employees and wheeled carts was heading out of the suite, surrounding Misa and himself on every side as a kind of buffer. Misa herself had donned a hat and big sunglasses, but L could still see the angry expression on her face.

L smirked inwardly at the thought of the embarrassing rumors that would now spread about Misa. Hotel employees were notorious gossips, especially where celebrities were concerned, and with this people many involved, it was certain there would be at least one leak to the tabloids. Misa would be painted as a kinky dominatrix with a druggie boyfriend who got kicked out of hotels.

L made sure his back was to Misa as they walked down the hallway, and studied Ryuk with his peripheral vision. If anything, this shinigami was creepier than Rem. Ryuk reminded him of some kind of gothic clown, a nightmare figure that belonged in the realm of hallucinations, not casually floating around on black wings, half in and half out of the wall. After a few moments of studying Ryuk that way, L stared straight ahead. He could not risk a single slip, and Ryuk still seemed his best chance of learning Rem's secret weakness.

When they got to the elevators, they had to split into two groups, one with all the luggage and the other with most of the employees, hiding L and Misa at the center. Before the elevator arrived at its destination, one of the employees received a phone call. He swore softly under his breath, and then said, "How? How did they find out so fast?"

The employee paused for a moment, then sighed and said, "I told Nishimura he sent too many people. Any of them could have been a leak. We'll sort it out later. Prepare the first floor east conference room for our arrival."

Misa said, "What?"

The man replied, "The media is clustered at both entrances. Someone told them there was a scandal with Misa Amane, and they refuse to leave."

Misa screamed, "What!"

Then the man started explaining how they would help Misa by hiding her in a conference room and attempting to disperse the media, while Misa argued back that this was their fault for trying to kick her out in the first place; they should have just let her stay.

L knew it probably wasn't enough time. It had been less than ten minutes since he'd been unstrapped from the metal frame. The first employee who found him, Nishimura, must have been greedy and tipped off some journalists in return for a payment. L had only bribed Nishimura to keep quiet about finding him the first time, so this didn't break the terms of their deal. L had never said he wanted the entire incident concealed, just moved to a different time.

Still, if Misa became suspicious and investigated, she might figure out that it hadn't been quite long enough for the media to develop such a well-organized attack on the hotel, and there was nothing L could do about it. He could only hope that Nishimura's contact in the media knew to keep quiet about receiving the tip, which he probably would in hopes of getting more juicy information in the future. The contact would behave best if he got what he wanted. Also, the disruption of actually having to face the media would perhaps make Misa think less about the timing of the entire incident. It was in L's best interest to expose Misa to the media, if it could be managed surreptitiously.

When they got off on the first floor, L carefully scanned the hallway. Just after their group left the elevator, he saw a man he thought looked like a journalist, so he tripped in such a way as to bring several people down around him, drawing attention as he momentarily sprawled with his bare ass in the air on top of a pile of hotel employees before he flipped his skirt down and scrambled to his feet. In moments, the hotel employees had already formed a thick wall around Misa and himself again, but he saw the man who looked like a journalist get on his cellphone briefly and begin running toward the group.

Misa said, "Oh shit! Run!" and the entire group sprinted as best they could while huddled together. L deliberately slowed them down. It was easy to feign that his legs were weak and shaky, because it was true, and that also made his tripping incident more believable.

Before they could reach the end of the hallway, more people who definitely looked like journalists began spilling into the hallway in front of him. L grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it up so it covered his face, with just the eyes barely sticking out. Even if he was operating under an alias, he'd rather not have photos of himself floating around in public. As the entire group froze in place, L glanced behind him. The other direction was filling up with the media as well.

L said, "There isn't any escape, Misa. Let me talk to them as we make our way to the limo."

The hotel employees parted, and immediately the journalists surrounded L and Misa on all sides, with a barrier space of just more than arm-length, shouting dozens of questions at once.

L said, "Misa Amane will say nothing, and I will only answer questions if we are allowed to continue toward our car."

L made some experimental moves, and found that the barrier space stayed the same, the journalists pacing them exactly. The questions continued unabated, a constant chatter. Rather than pick out any particular questions, L decided on a monologue as he walked.

L said, "I am Hideki Ryuga, obviously not the pop star but another person of the same name. I am a student at To-Oh University but I dropped out a few months ago."

Then L went into a meaningless, but true, chatter about the various classes he'd taken. One man stepped in front of him, breaching the barrier space and stopping their progress. L took a tight hold on the neck of his t-shirt, just in case the journalist tried to grab it and expose L's face. The journalist shoved a hand-held monitor into L's face. The screen on the device showed a grainy photo, just like a cellphone photo, taken from a weird angle. It was L, strapped to the metal frame and with Misa visible in the background, along with several hotel employees. Misa shrieked.

There had clearly been a leak in addition to Nishimura. This was good; it would draw Misa's attention away from the timing issue. It was also good that L's face was at such an odd angle and covered by so much of the blindfold. He was not very recognizable. Even if this photo became famous, it should not compromise his ability to conceal his identity.

L said, "If you have that, then you have everything you could possibly want. Go write your story and leave us alone. We are not obligated to explain anything that goes on in private rooms."

The journalist refused to move, but several other journalists pulled him back, and the little knot of L and Misa surrounded by the media continued to move until it reached the hotel exit, where employees had formed a kind of human barrier, two walls for L and Misa to move between and then get into a limo unmolested.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, L thought he was going to get out of that one easily, but he caused some extra trouble for himself as well as Misa by not thinking of everything Nishimura might do.

Now, L has to hope Misa doesn't get suspicious, and Misa has to worry about the stories that will surely appear about her in the press. And, will Misa be able to find a hotel where the staff won't wonder what she's doing in her rooms?


	10. Losing Time

**CHAPTER 10: Losing Time**

The first thing the limo driver said was, "Where to?"

Misa hissed, "Just get away from the crowd. Drive wherever you want until I figure out where to go."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Misa got out her cellphone and was on it for quite some time, obviously talking to various hotels, and specifically asking about their privacy policies, about how long they would allow a room to not be entered at all, even by the cleaning staff. Finally, she seemed to hear a satisfactory answer, and told the driver, "Go to Daikichi Hotel."

Meanwhile, L was trying to keep from having an emotional meltdown. Had it really been only two weeks? It felt like months. Being free was extremely nice and extremely terrifying at the same time. An exhilarated adrenaline surge was moving through his system, and yet the horror he felt about those restraints had never been worse. He had an urge to simply run for it. Now was a possibility.

He could run and leave Misa behind, or neutralize her somehow, either knocking her unconscious or killing her. The first option would probably mean his death within minutes of escape. He was sure Misa had a scrap of death note paper concealed on her person somewhere. The other option, taking out Misa first and then running, would lead to Rem killing him as soon as she realized Misa was missing. Maybe it would give him a few hours. Could he solve the case that quickly? Would it be worth it if he couldn't solve it, to die with freedom and dignity?

L was having such trouble thinking. He knew, _knew_ that his captivity had impaired his functioning both mentally and emotionally. He did not trust his own plans. He'd messed up at the hotel, by not anticipating that Nishimura might decide to get another bribe from the paparazzi. L felt terribly inadequate. Dirty, stupid and inadequate. He was looking everywhere, gazing in abject fascination at the sky, trees and buildings whizzing by. He examined the interior of the car. He looked at everything except her.

His fingers itched to stack something, or to line up things in little rows, but no suitable objects were present. He desperately craved candy. In the back of his mind his restraints were lurking, the straightjacket and, most of all, that cursed metal frame. It was a creeping horror he tried to push back, to not think about.

How had Misa lasted so long? Sure, he'd let her loose for bathroom breaks and occasional baths, and he'd allowed her to be horizontal at night, but she was letting him free a lot more than he ever did for her, and it was still a torture. Every day he feared it more, the immobilization, the cramps and the weakness and the trying to shift around so that parts wouldn't go numb.

Misa suddenly said, "I'm pregnant."

L wasn't shocked by the admission, but he didn't know what to say, what to believe. She wanted to torture him psychologically, so perhaps it was a lie. If she was planning to kill him on schedule, a lie was potentially just as damaging as an actual pregnancy, because he'd never know one way or another.

He figured he should look at her, so he did so. Her face was worn out and smug at the same time. L did not like looking at her, at the face of his torturer, perhaps his murderer, but he knew this was a time when he needed to play the role of a concerned lover. He still couldn't think of what to say, so he put a tender look on his face, slowly drew close, and then kissed her, stroking her shoulders and back.

Misa was somewhat stiff in his arms at first, but then she started pressing into him, feeling warm and wonderful, responding eagerly to his lips. He drew back and looked at her again, examining her features. Her model's face, that concealed so much evil, her dyed-blonde hair without a single root showing, her big eyes that were sometimes brown, but were now baby-blue from contacts. She looked very young, and very prettied up, a painted doll rather than a real person.

Everything about her appearance had been carefully designed and calculated to please, unlike his own appearance. She looked so cheap, and he longed for the blindfold, but he knew that people who loved each other did look at each other's faces, so he continued gazing directly into her eyes, his tender-and-confused expression deliberately plastered across his face.

Suddenly, Misa looked very hungry, lustful. It was a terrifying expression. Somehow, L had the feeling that this was how her face must look while she tortured him. She pushed a button and a little wall began ascending, cutting off the driver. Before it blocked out all sight and sound from the driver, Misa said, "If you reach your destination before we are done, let us finish."

Misa advanced on L and pushed him down horizontally, lying on the seat.

She said, "Don't look at me," and covered up his eyes with one hand.

They understood each other. He was thoroughly sickened by how much this was turning him on. He wanted her. No, he didn't want her, he wanted it. Sex. He was separating the physical act from Misa in his mind. As far as L's mind was concerned, their encounters were disembodied, disjointed affairs. He used intense fantasies almost every time to create some distance between him and her, to enjoy the physical sensations without thinking too much about the person who was causing those sensations.

But, thoughts of Misa did creep in from time to time during the act, and they weren't always distasteful. He was getting used to it, used to being her sex object. Something about it made him feel tender toward her, but it also made him feel numb, worthless. His opinion didn't matter, only Misa's will. Slowly but surely, she was beginning to key his sexual responses to her own sick habits. L hoped the process was reversible. If he survived, he didn't want to desire this style of relationship with other women, with blindfolds, bondage and torture.

Misa shoved him vigorously, almost violently, and flipped up his skirt. L could tell there was no chance of him being on top; her body language was extremely dominant as she continued to cover his eyes and lowered herself onto his waiting erection. Then she was fucking him hard and fast, almost scary in her intensity. Even her panting sounded angry. L tried to hold himself in, tried not to come too soon, but the speed she was using was driving his state of arousal higher very quickly.

He desperately searched out her clitoris, massaging it delicately in a circular pattern. Her angry pants turned into desperate breathy little pant-screams, and her thrusting became a bit erratic, which helped L keep the gathering electricity in his groin from spilling over, helped him keep it barely under control. But, he was nearly shuddering from pleasure, so close, so very close. Every slightest movement in her now-erratic thrusts drove him closer and closer to that white-hot intensity of pleasure, the pressure gathering and building inside him. His thumb busily circled her clitoris, pressing the little nub from every side. It was so hard and erect.

Then, Misa let out an angry snarl and plunged completely onto him, her internal walls rippling and clenching rhythmically. It was too much to take, and L released a few seconds later, each spurt of cum feeling hot and intense, as if he were shooting lava into her in regular bursts. He let out a desperate, husky cry as he pressed his hips upward, continuing to unload and shake until he'd poured everything into her, and then he could only lie there, limp, exhausted and ashamed. More and more, shame and sex seemed linked in his mind.

He felt terribly dirty. He was a vile creature. No, not even a creature, a thing. He was just a penis and balls that she was using for... what? If she really was pregnant, then she didn't need to have sex with him any more. Was this act proof that Misa was lying about being pregnant, or did it mean that his efforts to forge a bond with her were starting to succeed? Either one would be good news, but the latter possibility was a more hopeful one. If that were true, L had a much greater chance of surviving.

He let her continue to cover his eyes, and cuddled with her tenderly, imitating the little sighs and caresses that he hoped would cause the bond to grow, to make her believe in him, or at least hesitate to kill. Then Misa roughly pushed him away and into a sitting position, saying, "Clean yourself up."

She did not sound happy. She sounded extremely angry. With her hand gone from his eyes, he quickly was able to get some tissues from a little cabinet built into the back of the seats in front of him. He cleaned himself diligently and then saw Misa draw out a folded piece of paper from within her purse.

Misa said, "All those people are going to die. I'll force them to destroy all copies of that photo and make them give me all the information about the incident, so I can kill anyone else they sent the photo to or told anything to."

L thought fast. If Misa did that, not only would it be a tremendous slaughter, it would also likely bring to light his own deception, and then she'd likely kill him.

L said, "Misa, that would create suspicion. If everyone involved in the incident died, that would create a much bigger story than the one circulating now and it would only convince more people of its truth, and additionally it would make people think of Kira. Besides, even if you could remember the name of every person you saw there today, the information has probably traveled too far for any amount of killing to destroy it. Let me use my detective abilities to stop the story."

Misa folded her arms in front of her and put on a cute little pout. "No. I can't let you be loose and have access to things. There's no telling what secret plan you might launch."

L said, "Misa, if you are determined to kill, a precise strike is better. Pick a major figure who had the photo, such as that journalist who stepped in front of us, and control him to say that he's been faking photos and making up stories, and then have him die twenty-three days later from an unsuspicious cause. It won't stop the story completely, but it will throw a lot of doubt on it and that way you won't create additional problems."

Misa looked thoughtful. Then she said, "You really are smart. Sometimes I had my doubts, with the way you're so weird."

Misa grinned, a murderer's grin, but L felt like they had somehow shared a moment, a kind of semi-friendship forming gradually between them. And, he did feel good about reducing the death count to just one person.

L told Misa what to write, and she wrote down a very precise death for the journalist that should totally destroy the guy's career and squelch the Misa-likes-bondage story as much as possible without betraying L's secret. Misa thought about making another journalist or two do the same thing, but L explained to her that just one was enough, and overdoing it would only make people wonder about what else was going on.

Then Misa said, "Well, I've been very good, so I do deserve one revenge death. I'm sure I know who took that photo. Mariko Yamamoto was the only one fiddling with her cellphone in that room, and she was standing in the right place for the angle the photo shows."

L said, "Please, Misa. Please don't kill more innocent people. Just criminals."

Misa's face curled into an ugly snarl. "L, Mariko isn't innocent! She's scum! She took a sexual photo in a private hotel room and gave it to who knows how many journalists. These sorts of people are always harassing celebrities, and the world doesn't care unless someone gets killed, because the whole world lusts after the photos. It isn't right!"

"I'm sorry, Misa. I spoke without thinking."

"If it wasn't for your perverted idea of justice, you wouldn't be in this situation. You could have just sat back and let Kira do all the work catching criminals, but you couldn't do it, could you? You know, I think I might just spend my time on the Internet tonight researching paparazzi and clean out all that scum. I'll make it clear Kira considers them criminals too. Then the surviving ones will think about what they do."

L said nothing. This would always be a big issue between them. Even if he pretended to agree with her about the Kira murders, he'd have to switch his opinion in a realistic way, which probably meant gradually. Misa knew that he'd risked his life over and over again just to catch Kira, so suddenly saying that Kira's methods were now fine wouldn't be believable.

And the way Misa talked about it in such an uninformed manner made L want to strangle her. She was speaking as if she thought a justice system for catching criminals didn't already exist, as if she thought Kira could replace all the police and as if harassment should receive the death penalty. L didn't agree with Kira's methods in any way, but he was sure Misa's version of Kira was bad news.

Light would have done a better job, at least until the true effects of his obvious megalomania caught up to him, which would probably have taken years. Misa was already quite crazy, her intelligence wasn't up to Light's level, and, worst of all, she was uninformed. It was clear her rule as Kira would be haphazard and full of mistakes.

L briefly entertained a fantasy of, if both of them lived a long time, attempting to guide Misa and educate her, to push her to gradually become a better variety of Kira or to give it up entirely. The fantasy was both attractive and repulsive. L shuddered. He truly hoped he wouldn't remain together with Misa that long. He needed to get her away from him before her poison contaminated too much of his soul.

When they reached Daikichi Hotel, L had another tremendously strong urge to simply run for it the moment he stepped out of the limo. Freedom was so close, and if Misa didn't have a god of death on her side, it could be so easily obtained. He lingered on the sidewalk, looking at the sky in particular, wondering if he were seeing it for the very last time. Misa had to pull at his elbow to move him, and then he obediently followed her along, even though every instinct he had was screaming at him to run, to simply run for it.

L wondered if he were making the right decision. Maybe the act of fleeing itself would unearth some useable clue. He'd often done similar tests with Light, though not anything quite this dangerous. He'd often tried things, especially unexpected illogical acts or statements, just to see how Light would respond. The trouble with running was that he had no particular reason to think it would work, and if it didn't work, he'd die very quickly. Still, it was a very attractive option, and discarding it made L feel positively sick as he let Misa put him in a straightjacket and blindfold and shackles once again.

L tried to wander off in the direction of the bed, but Misa pulled him in a different direction and strapped him into that horrid metal frame, and then she tortured him, with bees this time, until the tears were running down his face and he begged her for mercy just the way she liked.

Then, things were back to normal, back to the same pattern Misa had established at the previous hotel. Even the sex was at the same frequency. Did she truly have a sex drive that strong, or was she still attempting to get pregnant? L felt as if he hadn't made any progress. Misa would be caught, but what would happen to him? Would he die? L managed to get Ryuk alone a few more times and pleaded for Ryuk to tell him the secret before Light died. Because, after, Rem would most likely be attached to Misa, and then L would no longer have the option of subduing Misa and fleeing and having a few hours to launch a plan before Rem found out.

Ryuk just gave L that same monologue about how he wasn't really on anyone's side, and how he loved to see geniuses at the level of L and Light get themselves out of tough situations. The tougher, the more entertaining. L hated Ryuk with an extreme passion, and he hated Misa, as he counted down the days to Light's death. Once Light died, the best plan would switch to making a deal with Rem, but L would only have a few days to pull that off before the critical 27-day mark, which was the earliest time Misa might write down his name.

L might have longer, if Misa decided to think about it, but L was sure Watari wouldn't have any more time than that. Misa would certainly kill him. That is, if she was even telling the truth about keeping him alive. L half-suspected that Misa was using psychological torture again, giving L false hope and then taking it away. Perhaps Misa would suddenly reveal that Watari had been dead all along.

Then, before L was even slightly ready for it, the day of Light's death suddenly arrived.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, it looks like things are getting worse for L, not better, even though he's essentially guaranteed Misa's future capture.

And, can he deal with watching what he did to Light?


	11. Light Yagami

**CHAPTER 11: Light Yagami**

In the days leading up to Light's death, L had pleaded with Misa to simply put Light in a room with poison that would induce a painless death. He even gave Misa the names of a number of such poisons and directions for how to obtain them. Misa would never discuss the topic. She always just told him, "You'll see what happens."

So, on the day of Light's death, L was extremely jittery. He didn't feel like eating much, and when Misa had sex with him before Light arrived, he almost didn't have an orgasm. Misa had to work on him for a long time until he finally released, and then it was a sad, bitter climax, easily the worst he'd ever had.

Misa was eerily silent that day, saying almost nothing. Finally, she came into his room and took off his blindfold, then retreated a short distance and composed herself in order to make a little speech. She was holding the death note L recognized from headquarters, the one with the fake rules written inside. His attention was almost abnormally focused on it. It was there, right in her hands, one of the two death notes he knew to exist among humans. He had a desperate urge to escape right then, snatch it from her, and burn it. But Rem was hovering right behind Misa, and L knew it was a horrible plan, if for no other reason than the existence of a second death note in some unknown place.

Misa said, "I'm not going to watch or listen. You'll have to see everything. You'll see what you've done, the horrible murderer you really are. I'll be holding Light's death note when he dies, so ownership goes to me and not to you for killing him. Isn't that right, Rem?"

Rem said, "Yes, that's how it works."

Then Misa left and wheeled in Light, strapped into a metal frame just like L's own, wearing a straightjacket and gagged with a cloth. She set it up so the two men were facing each other from only a short distance away. Light's eyes were extremely dilated, his face looked odd, and he struggled constantly within his bonds.

L said, "Misa, please reconsider. I don't think this is what Light wants. Knock him out and let him die cleanly."

Misa replied, "This is a clean death. There's no way he can commit suicide like this; he can't even bite off his tongue because of the gag. If you make the written death impossible, it defaults to a heart attack. I've given Light lots of drugs so he shouldn't feel much pain from the heart attack."

Misa began walking out of the room and L screamed out, "No! Misa, you've underestimated Light. Don't let him die like this! He'll do something!"

But Misa closed the door and was gone. Rem was about to phase through the door when L said, "Rem, Misa will regret this. Please convince her otherwise."

Rem said, "He'll be dead in five minutes, and Misa doesn't listen to my advice. I'd rather not watch either."

With that, Rem was gone, and L was left alone, staring at Light from a short distance away. Ryuk came through the wall then and said, "Hey, Light, I bet you didn't think it would end like this. Well, I have to see you die, so I'll be here until the end. We had some great fun, didn't we?"

Just then, Light spit and the cloth gag came out, showing where he'd bitten through it. His eyes were bloodshot and insane. He said, "It was tremendous fun, Ryuk."

L screamed, "Misa! He'll bite his tongue! Misa, help him!"

But, it was too late. Light stuck his tongue out, and his jaws closed on it hard with a sick, wet tearing sound, and then the tongue was slithering down his chest and plopped onto the floor, leaving a trail of blood behind, so bright red, incredibly bright. Light's eyes were staring into L, boring into him with incredible force, and then L screamed.

Blood was quickly dribbling out of Light's mouth and running down his chin, but he made a tremendous inhalation and the blood right around his lips reversed direction and was sucked into his mouth, followed shortly after by a wet, gurgling sound that made all the hairs on L's back and neck stand on end. Light was inhaling the blood into his lungs to drown himself in case he couldn't die from the blood loss alone.

Then a really awful look came onto Light's face and he suddenly threw up. Only a bit of it escaped his mouth before he closed his lips, forcing the vomit into his lungs, a small amount dribbling out Light's nostrils in a constant runny brown stream, punctuated by small chunks.

Suddenly, Light's eyes looked regretful instead of crazy, regretful and very frightened. He opened his mouth and made a wet wheeze, his jaw and throat going through motions as if he were trying to cough, but instead of a cough bubbles came up through the pink-brown mix of vomit and blood. The bubbles were bright red, as if purely made of the blood, and they came out of his mouth accompanied by moist shuddering sounds, slowly popping and turning into a frothy foam that oozed in a mass down his chin to reach his chest and spread out.

Then Light let out a strange inhuman gasping cry, something that sounded like it would have been a scream if his lungs hadn't been mostly full of fluid, and a great rush of red bubbles came out of his mouth at once. Light's eyes were so frightened now, fear at a fever pitch, fear beyond all reason. They were burning their way into L's soul.

And that is when L realized he didn't need to watch. He closed his eyes, angry that he hadn't thought to do this to begin with, but he could still hear it, the wet shuddering wheezes, the oozing sounds, the dripping of blood and puke and foam, as Light drowned painfully and slowly so close to him. It was so long. It wouldn't stop. It wouldn't stop! L kept thinking it was done, only to hear a bit more wet popping, or raspy, oily shuddering, or choked off gurgling gasps.

And then, when the sounds ceased and L was really sure Light was dead, he opened his eyes and was struck with a worse sight. Light's eyes were glassy and in a state far beyond exhausted, but they seemed to still hold a fading spark of life. Light was alive, even yet, just barely, with tremendous suffering etched into his face.

L closed his eyes again, and then he felt the tears running down his face, so many of them all at once, and wondered when he had started crying. Surely there were too many to have appeared so suddenly?

L said, "I'm sorry, Light, I'm sorry."

He didn't know if Light could still hear, but he continued it, a constant chant of apology where the words became quieter and quieter, turning into a meaningless babble, like a small brook gurgling and chattering down a mountain slope. L stopped the babble when he heard a door being opened. He opened his eyes immediately, terrified of Misa finding out he hadn't watched the entire spectacle.

He saw Misa come in through the door, her face shiny with tears at first and then a moment later positively livid with shock and outrage.

She choked out, "What happened?"

L could hear himself explaining it, how Light must have chewed through his gag earlier and then concealed that fact until Misa left the room. L's voice sounded so calm and logical and a million miles away from him, as if he couldn't possibly be the one saying those things.

But then, Misa was screaming before his explanation went very far, and she didn't stop, she just got shriller and louder, rising in pitch. At first, L was certain Misa would rush at him and kill him with her own hands, but she backed up until she hit a wall and then slowly slid down it, sitting on the floor, having a large intake of breath every so often just to get enough air to start screaming again.

Whatever policies this hotel had, L was sure enough screaming would draw hotel employees.

L said, "Misa, stop it. We'll get caught."

Rem added, "Misa, you put some illegal drugs in his system. You don't want the police here."

But Misa just put her hands over her head and kept screaming, in complete hysterics. After what L judged to be about ten minutes, there was a tremendously loud knocking sound coming from the door of the suite, as if a dozen people were pounding all at once with their full strength. Misa didn't get up to answer the door; she just kept screaming in place, beginning to curl into a ball shape, drawing her knees to her chin.

L heard a rush of footsteps and then the inevitable hotel employees entered the room, two women and five men. One of the women started screaming just as hysterically as Misa and one of the men turned white, wobbled in place a few moments, and then fainted. The other woman got out a cellphone and started talking to what must be a hospital from what she was saying, then finished with them and called the police.

Misa seemed to realize what the woman was doing during the call to the police. L sincerely hoped Misa was not planning on killing the woman. Misa got up on shaky feet, sniffling and still crying. She walked over to L and tipped his metal frame back a bit so it sat on its wheels and then wheeled him out of the room. The employees watched, looking stunned and confused. Three more of them were in the main living room of the suite, one woman with her hand resting on a couch extremely close to the death note. Ryuk was standing just behind the woman, making faces.

Misa screamed, snatched the death note away, and stuffed it into her purse. Then she went back to L's contraption and continued to wheel it away. The employees in sight watched her warily, as if they were thinking of stopping her, but they did nothing. L could hear Misa continue to sniffle behind him as she took him down the hallway, seeing a few more employees sticking their heads around the corner to watch, and then Misa got him on an elevator, where they were alone.

As soon as the elevator doors closed, L heard Misa digging in her purse. Guessing what she was about to do, he said, "Misa, if anyone here dies, it could throw suspicion on you. You can't destroy this story the same way as the other one. They have a body this time."

Rem said, "Misa, I agree. The only thing you did wrong was give Light illegal drugs. The police will believe he gave them to himself and the physical evidence at the scene should show he committed suicide. You should talk to the cops and it will be fine."

Misa hissed, "They will want to talk with L too, alone, and then he'll tell them I'm Kira."

Rem replied, "Then use the death note to kill him twenty-three days from now, and control him into saying nothing. That's the safest way."

Misa rubbed at her cheeks with her fists and said, "No. Fifty days. I don't care what it takes."

L said nothing. He was sure that anything he said could only worsen the situation. Misa would not write his name for a few more days, at least. Time was now so short. Could he really win her heart fast enough to dissuade her from killing him? After all, she was likely carrying his child and seemed to want sex for some reason other than revenge and procreation. There was something between them, not real love, but perhaps enough to stop his murder.

When Misa began wheeling him out the entrance, she stopped short, seeing two cop cars there. Four cops were just getting out and their eyes were fastened on her. Misa whipped out her death note and wrote furiously. One by one, the body language of the cops altered. They were ignoring her. She wheeled L right past them and waved down a taxi.

At first the taxi driver seemed hesitant, and L saw Misa getting out her death note again.

L quickly said, "I have violent seizures and I need to be restrained like this or I harm myself. If you don't let us ride this way, I will make sure your company is sued and you are fired."

The taxi driver nodded and helped Misa put the metal frame into the back seat. It could only be jammed in there at an awkward angle and took up all the room, so Misa sat in front, handing the driver a big wad of cash with a pleasant grin. The driver seemed pleased and suddenly said, "Wait, aren't you Misa-Misa?"

L said, "Misa is doing volunteer work to care for the sick and disabled."

And then L launched into a long, detailed story about his "illness" and all the kind things Misa had done for him and other sick patients, some of them dying, some of them little children with no joy left in their eyes until they saw Misa-Misa. L made everything as sugary and heart-warming as possible, playing up the aspects that showed Misa to be heroic and kind-hearted. He hoped, this way, Misa might view the taxi driver as someone bearing a good story to counteract the bad stories, and wouldn't kill him.

It was a very long ride to the outskirts of town and then into the countryside, following Misa's directions. L wondered where they were going but knew better than to ask questions. Instead he continued embellishing the stories about Misa's dedication and heroism. At last, they stopped outside a huge mansion. The taxi driver helped Misa remove L from the back seat and wheel him up to the front door.

As the driver was about to walk away, he pressed the cash back into Misa's hand and said, "Misa-Misa, it was wonderful to meet you. I don't need to be paid. I'll be telling my kids about this for years."

His eyes were shining with admiration as he bowed to Misa and then turned to walk back toward his car. Misa waited until the car began to pull away before bringing out her death note and writing something in it, then ringing the doorbell.

L said, "Did you kill him?"

Rem replied, "No. She just killed Hideki Ryuga. But until he dies he'll let anyone stay here, in complete secrecy and without asking any questions."

Misa said, "You can't specify actions toward particular people. But, if anyone else asks to live here, I'll just kill them."

Then the door was opening and Hideki Ryuga was standing there, with his longish spiky brown hair and rock-star good looks. He said, "Misa!"

Misa said, "Can we live here?"

In a weird voice, completely unconcerned, Hideki Ryuga said, "Of course. I'll prepare the guest bedrooms."

He began walking in, and Misa followed, wheeling L inside, Rem and Ryuk trailing behind. L gazed up at the high ceiling. There were in a huge entrance room like a living room but ten times as large, with a grand staircase at one end and an indoor balcony ringing the walls on three sides. They continued into a hallway built on the same grand scale and then into an elevator and up to a huge bedroom.

Misa stationed L there and she then went back out with Hideki Ryuga. L heard them talking in low tones, but couldn't catch the words. He wondered if the entire household staff would also be controlled and killed, or if they'd just be fired and sent away. Rem was attached to Misa now, so would that mean Watari was about to be brought here as well? L despaired at the thought that he didn't even know if Misa was telling the truth about Watari still being alive.

As the voices drifted away, the stillness of the room descended on L with an eerie finality. He was surrounded by luxury but very uncomfortable. The images of Light's death were drifting into his mind again, intruding on his thoughts. He wished bitterly that he'd thought of thwarting Misa's plan by keeping his eyes closed the entire time. He was a genius, so why did that simple solution elude him? L felt terribly worn out, impaired. He wasn't up to much; he wasn't up to his old tricks, but he had only a few more days to solve the deadliest puzzle that had ever been presented to him. Unless he either won within that time period or found a way to stall and delay, he'd die, possibly in a way that would make Light's death look pleasant.

L shivered. He couldn't think, couldn't focus. The images were crowding in on him. He kept seeing those blood bubbles in his mind, and hearing that choked, horrible, unnatural sound of a frightened man trying to breathe with his lungs full of blood and vomit. The entire scene was forever burned into his brain. Why? Why! Why! Why hadn't Misa listened? Why hadn't she realized that Light was smart enough to commit suicide despite her precautions? She'd inflicted a lot of unnecessary pain on three people, including herself.

L tried to lose himself in studying the room, looking at all its furnishings, enjoying being without the blindfold. When Misa returned, she'd probably have another one. After a time, Hideki Ryuga wandered into the room, sat on the edge of the bed and began watching television, a cooking show. Did he come in because he was curious but unable to ask questions, so settled for being near the object of his curiosity?

L wondered how long the guy would live. Perhaps twenty-three days? Misa must have known he had an isolated mansion a bit out in the country, and thought of it as a good place to hide. It didn't strike L as a smart move, especially since Misa was known to be traveling with a "Hideki Ryuga" already and she had the power to take over anyone's home.

L hadn't seen the details of death Misa wrote, but he guessed Hideki would act naturally in all ways other than hiding houseguests and not asking them anything. Hideki wouldn't ask questions, yet perhaps he would answer them or prove useful in other ways. But, L had to be careful about what he said. If Misa found out he'd been doing anything, she might be very angry. And, L had learned to fear an angry Misa.

L said, "So, my name is Hideki Ryuga too. Isn't that funny?"

Hideki grunted in a noncommittal way.

L said, "Is Misa gone?"

Hideki said, "She's going to get some old guy. Misa sure brings a lot of people with her. I wish she wanted to live just with me alone. She's really hot."

L said, "Misa's my girlfriend."

L tried to think of anything else he could say that would be useful, but he couldn't, so he struck up a conversation about the cupcakes that were being displayed on the TV. It felt surprisingly good just to talk. After the show finished, Hideki Ryuga wandered away, leaving L alone with his thoughts once more. L wondered if Hideki was now unkillable. Was he some kind of immortal guy, who couldn't die before his time no matter what situation he was put into? If so, there should be a way to use that.

L tried to think of how he could expose Rem's weakness using Hideki Ryuga. Could he somehow talk the guy into threatening Misa? No, that wouldn't work. If Hideki could be killed earlier than his allotted time of death, then Misa would just kill him personally and, if not, Rem would do nothing. Besides, it would probably be difficult to convince Hideki to do anything, and the truth of who had been talking to him like that would be likely to come out. It was an extremely dubious plan that would undo all L's hard work to get on Misa's good side.

A few hours later, L was surprised to see Hideki Ryuga come into his room and wheel him out. L said, "What is going on?"

Hideki replied, "Dinner."

L was brought to a large dining hall, once again with very high ceilings. It was a warm-toned room, done in wood paneling and with several incredibly large sparkling chandeliers. The long table had about fifty chairs, and Misa was seated some distance from L, already enjoying a meal. Several servants were swarming around, placing various dishes on the table that emitted delicious smells. L's heart surged when he saw a cheesecake topped with blueberries. But he eyed the staff sadly. They weren't asking any questions or even giving him concerned glances. They were most likely the walking dead, controlled into exactly the behavior Misa deemed useful. Misa was chatting with them normally, smiling and giggling, as if nothing was the matter. L stared at her, hating, wishing he could burn holes in her with his gaze.

Then L's heart caught in his throat as he saw Hideki Ryuga wheeling another form in. Watari? It certainly looked like the old man. Yes, yes, it was him! A large blindfold covered much of his face, and he was thinner and covered with bruises, but it was certainly him. He was wearing a straightjacket, and from the waist down was wearing a gray blanket fastened on with large pins. L wanted to say something to him, but he was afraid to. Misa was nearby, and she hadn't given him permission, and Watari wasn't speaking either.

Throughout the meal, L barely noticed the servant who stood next to him, spoon-feeding him better food than he'd had for weeks, including some of his favorites. His gaze was fixed on Watari. Horrid imaginings passed through his brain. How badly had Watari been tortured? Watari couldn't buy nicer treatment with sex, and he looked like he'd suffered far more. His head was slumped weakly to one side, as if he had no strength in his neck, or as if the tendon on one side had been cut.

Suddenly, L was imagining the worst. What if Watari had been permanently crippled? What if the blindfold was there to hide that he had no eyes? What if he wasn't speaking because of a missing tongue? L's heart was beating faster, and he was shaking, and ashamed, and he felt like a whore, a dirty, horrible, disgusting whore. He was someone who was enjoying Misa in bed and getting a few special treats such as "nap time" while Watari suffered the worst. And, why? Because L was willing to sell his body.

L fixed his gaze on Misa then, and he resolved that he'd solve the case, truly solve it, before Watari ran out of time. L knew he couldn't just wait around hoping Misa would soften up. He'd solve it or die in the attempt. He just needed to decide on the very best plan, the one that was most likely to work.

L thought furiously, trying to put together something. Things came together in his brain and clicked into place. Yes, there were three things to try. One was getting Rem alone and negotiating with her. The second was using Hideki Ryuga as a secret messenger to find out if Watari knew the way to defeat Rem. The third plan was the boldest and most desperate. It should only be used if the first two failed. If the third plan also failed, L would die very quickly.

L felt better. He would succeed or die, not wait on Misa's fickle mercy. He relaxed within his restraints and tried to enjoy the cheesecake the servant was spoon-feeding to him. It might be the last truly delicious thing he ever ate.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, L saw Watari and gained some new determination. Now he's going to try some risky stuff. Will it work?

And, I've introduced a canon minor character. What will he do?

And, the police surely want to talk to Misa now. Plus, she's killed four of them, even though they don't know it yet.


	12. Hideki Ryuga

**CHAPTER 12: Hideki Ryuga**

The plan to use Hideki Ryuga worked better than L expected. Misa was avoiding him after Light's death. The servants and Rem attended to L's needs, taking him on bathroom breaks, feeding him, and helping him shower while still wearing the straightjacket. L was grateful for the absence of torture, and for Misa having apparently forgotten about a replacement blindfold. With what she'd seen, she certainly had other things on her mind. L was also glad he didn't have to perform for her sexually. After seeing Watari, his shame was at an all-time high.

Hideki Ryuga frequently wandered into L's room that day, looking at him curiously, wearing the expression people get immediately before they are about to speak. L knew Hideki desperately wanted to ask questions, but was completely unable to. Then, in the afternoon of the first day after Light's death, Hideki came into L's room carrying a tabloid. He opened to an article in the middle and held it in front of L's face, saying, "Read this."

L read it. It contained lots of speculations and rumors, but also included concrete information from the police about Misa fleeing the scene of a drug-induced suicide of one man in extreme bondage who was known as her boyfriend while pushing a wheeled metal frame containing yet another boyfriend in bondage, this one living. It said the police were looking to interview both Misa Amane and "Hideki Ryuga" for possible drug charges.

It included Misa's admission of being pregnant in front of the limo driver during the time before the sound-proof wall had ascended, and had photos of L, including the grainy weird-angle cellphone photo and several photos of him walking beside Misa with his black t-shirt pulled up to cover his face, wearing a green mini-skirt and the pink-and-black leggings.

The photos were grouped together in a frame titled "Mystery Man" and had further information about how Hideki Ryuga, not the pop star but a different man, had absolutely no photos that could be found other than the ones taken of him recently with Misa. To-Oh University did not even have a photo of him, despite that he'd received a perfect score on the entrance exam and had given the freshman address jointly with Misa's other boyfriend, the one who had killed himself.

"Hideki Ryuga" was well known in gossip circulating among university students as a reclusive, eccentric rich kid, but there were almost no details other than that. The rest of the article trailed off into increasingly bizarre speculation and rumors that were obviously made up.

When L finished reading the article, he studied the real Hideki Ryuga's face. The man looked about ready to burst with curiosity.

L said, "You want me to tell you everything about this, don't you?"

Hideki said, "Yes! I really want to know."

He seemed about to say something else, but he didn't and then his face looked quite confused.

L twisted within his bonds, turning his head in every direction and scanning the room for any sign of Rem.

Satisfied, he dropped his voice and said, "If you say nothing about what I'm about to tell you, and do exactly what I say, I'll tell you everything. First, contact me the moment that Misa actually leaves this place. Come to me immediately and I'll give you a few more instructions, and if you do those as well, I'll tell you all about this."

Hideki Ryuga said, "Thanks!"

L said, "You won't say anything to your servants or Misa. If you do, I'll find out. Also, you won't be obvious you're watching for Misa to leave. If any hint of this escapes, I'll know."

Fortunately, if Misa left, Rem would go too, so there was no danger of their little conspiracy being overheard by a creature invisible to Hideki unless he decided to blab about it at a later time while Rem was around.

L added, "Never discuss this with me except when I tell you it's okay first. Misa is very, very good at catching people who are having private discussions. If she is anywhere in the area, she might unexpectedly arrive. Do you understand?"

Hideki said, "Yes," and turned to leave the room, but then L saw a better view of the front of the tabloid and the cover story caught his eye.

L said, "Let me read some more before you go."

Hideki came back, and held up the tabloid magazine, turning pages as L requested. The cover story said, "Kira Targets Hundreds of Paparazzi Worldwide" and the article gave details about a massive slaughter that had started shortly after Misa told L she might do that. The deaths were all by heart attacks, since the public didn't know Kira killed any other way and Misa was smart enough to keep that much secret. The victims included a number of legitimate mainstream journalists that Misa had apparently targeted by mistake along with all the rest.

The article speculated about whether Kira was a celebrity or connected to one, or if Kira was someone being paid by celebrities. The suddenness of this development, with no warning, was making people think there had to be some incident that had angered either Kira or someone who was paying Kira. The article had a list of celebrity scandals happening around that time, however not including Misa's incident, and there were included quotes from three of the involved celebrities saying they weren't Kira and had no connection to him.

As Hideki finished and walked away, L began thinking about Misa's capture. With this, there was little doubt she'd be caught. It was now clear that even if L hadn't leaked information to Roger Ruvie and told him to get other investigators on Misa's trail as soon as it was safe to do so, Misa would have eventually slipped up badly enough for normal detectives to begin to realize who Kira must be. In fact, anyone who read through this entire tabloid magazine might now be speculating that Misa Amane was Kira. The relevant information was in two separate articles, but they were in the same publication, separated by mere pages.

There was no way Misa could elude capture long enough to successfully raise another Kira to adulthood. Misa wasn't stupid, and L had underestimated her more than once, but she wasn't on the same level as Light and she was further impaired by her impulsive nature. Misa had been right. She'd truly needed Light, and couldn't function properly without his guidance.

It was only a couple of hours later that Hideki Ryuga came running into the room, saying that Misa had just driven away.

L said, "It is close to Christmas, but I notice you don't have decorations up yet. Do you normally decorate?"

"Yes, but only shortly before the actual holiday."

"Where is the old man being kept? And, is there a route from here to there that bypasses the main entryway?"

Hideki Ryuga briefly described the layout of his mansion, including the room where Watari was.

L said, "I want to sneak out and talk to the old man privately. I need you to let me out of my restraints and let me borrow a cellphone. I assume you have more than one?"

"Yes"

"Get all of the servants involved in decorating for Christmas. Give them specific orders to stay in the west end of the building, particularly decorating the dining room and the entryway. Tell them that if you see them wandering away they will be in trouble; they are not to stop until finished. While they do this, sit next to a window with one cellphone and watch for Misa's return. If you see her, call the cellphone I borrowed to warn me and then run to meet me in this room and put my restraints back on. I can't fasten them from the inside."

Hideki then took L out of all the restraints except the shackles, which he didn't have the key to. While Hideki unfastened things, L carefully memorized the look of everything so he could have Hideki recreate it perfectly later. Then Hideki got out two cellphones and told L the numbers for each of them, and let him have one. L made Hideki repeat all the instructions once more to ensure he had them straight, then sent him off to organize the servants.

A few minutes later, L got a call from Hideki saying, "They're all here now."

L simply answered, "Yes," and then cautiously snuck out of the room.

If Hideki was stupid or any servants were disobedient, there still might be some possibility of running into them in the forbidden areas. L stuck to walls and cautiously peered around each corner before rounding it. He had to go through most of the length of the building and down two floors to reach Watari. Misa had been smart enough to put Watari in the furthest part of Hideki Ryuga's mansion from L. She must indeed fear the possibility of this sort of meeting.

When L came in the room, he gasped softly. Watari was not being held in a guest bedroom, but in what looked like a large storage room, with plenty of shelves covered with boxes and a few piles of miscellaneous items on the floor. All the things seemed to crowd Watari, making his form look smaller and almost brittle. L could see Watari's head still slumped to one side and the visible parts of his face and neck covered with bruises. Watari had never looked so old, and for a moment L feared he might be dead.

L approached softly and when he was only a few feet away, said, "It's me."

Watari's head snapped up immediately, and in a dry, croaking voice, he said, "Don't, Ryuzaki. She'll kill both of us if we escape."

"I'm not escaping yet, and I'm not rescuing you at this moment. Rem has a weakness. Do you know what it is?"

"No."

L said, "Whatever it is, the other death god, Ryuk, has admitted that such a weakness exists. Misa knows it, Light knew it, and Rem knows it. It is possible you may have heard some clue. I'll need to interview you about anything you overheard them saying in case you didn't realize the significance of it."

Watari's head slumped again, and he said, "Knew? Has it been past twenty-three days, then?"

"Light died yesterday."

Suddenly, the images were crowding into L's mind again, and he wanted to puke. He pushed them out, gained control of his breathing, and said, "I have three plans, two if I cannot figure out Rem's weakness today. I think we will either be dead or rescued soon. Let me get you some water."

Without waiting for an answer, L slipped out to a small kitchenette he'd seen and returned with a glass of water he held to Watari's lips. Watari drank greedily, and when he'd finished that glass and had drained two refills of it, his voice was no longer so hoarse. L felt bad subjecting him to rigorous questioning, but that's exactly what he did. L anxiously sifted through every comment Watari had overheard, searching for some clue. Unfortunately, Misa had been smart enough to keep Light out of Watari's hearing range nearly all the time, and L wasn't finding anything he didn't already know.

After only a short while, L knew he was done with the questions, and Hideki still hadn't called with a warning.

L said, "We have time. Do you want me to let you out for a short rest?"

Watari chuckled, a very brave-sounding chuckle, and said, "Misa is a squeamish torturer. I've had much worse. Don't risk getting caught for my comfort."

L didn't want to ask the next question, but he knew it might be his only chance and Watari deserved to hear it.

"If I'm sure I have failed, do you want me to kill you?"

Watari was quiet for a few moments, and then he said, "Yes. If you are sure."

L replied, "I will only kill you if I have already killed myself."

L wanted to say something else, he wanted to linger, but he couldn't think of anything to say and he knew it would be best to avoid Misa by a large margin of time, so he quietly withdrew from Watari's room. He put the glass back exactly where he'd found it after wiping it dry, then snuck back to his room and phoned Hideki Ryuga to help him. Hideki obviously wanted to talk, but L refused until all the restraints had been replaced to his satisfaction.

Hideki was so anxious to ask questions that he was actually jumping from foot to foot. L wondered what it was like to be controlled in such a way. Was Hideki capable of figuring out he couldn't ask questions of his guests, or did he somehow think everything he did was his own decision, no matter how ridiculous and confusing it was?

Then L gave Hideki a long story about how Misa had been studying advanced sexual techniques, and was teaching them to others. L described the restraints as some kind of enhancement-inducing endurance test, almost like a kind of sexual yoga. It was pleasurable if you could get past the bad parts. Light had killed himself because he'd unwisely mixed Misa's techniques with drugs, which was why the article said there were drugs in Light's system. The old man was not having sex with Misa, but was paying her to teach him the techniques. When he finished learning, he'd go home.

Hideki's only response to the tale was to say, "Misa had two boyfriends."

It was a simple statement of fact, not a question, but L knew Hideki wanted to ask about the situation. Hideki had that incredibly curious look on his face again.

L said, "I need to know you a little better to tell you that story. Don't let Misa find out I visited the old man and I'll tell you before long."

Hideki looked as if he really, really wanted to know but he agreed and then left the room. This was good. Hideki Ryuga's cooperation could be bought by satisfying his curiosity, and by withholding some of the information he wanted so he felt there was more payment waiting in the future if he continued to behave.

But it was also bad. Plan one had failed, accomplishing nothing other than getting Watari some water, learning the layout of the mansion and creating a situation where Hideki Ryuga would need to be carefully managed so he didn't blab about what had happened.

Plan two, negotiating secretly with Rem, was the next thing to try. Unlike Watari, L couldn't go to her. He had to wait until Rem wandered into his room without Misa, and the tension was killing him. He hoped it was a matter of hours, not days, until that circumstance happened. L didn't have much time for any plan to unfold.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, it looks like Hideki Ryuga is hungry for the gossip and L can keep him under control that way. Although, if that happened to anyone it would surely spark a lot of curiosity. I mean the logical question is _Why do I have all these houseguests and why are they doing this weird bondage shit and one of them already died and the police want to speak with them?_

Now, it's time for plan two and, if that fails, plan three.


	13. Rem

**Chapter 13: Rem**

It was late that same night when Rem finally wandered into L's room by herself, her single visible yellow eye almost glowing in the darkness. Earlier, Misa had placed L horizontally, but since both Misa and Rem had been present, L couldn't launch his plan then. Now, Rem was alone with him, and the entire mansion was eerily quiet.

L said, "Rem, I want to make a deal with you, to help Misa."

Rem replied, "Even if I were sure you'd really help, Misa doesn't listen to my advice. If she did, she would have never met Light Yagami, or she would have killed him soon after their first meeting."

"You don't need to ask for Misa's permission. You could burn the notebook that holds her memories if you wanted. Am I correct?"

Rem looked startled and said, "Yes. But, why should I?"

"Have you seen the tabloid that Hideki Ryuga has been carrying around lately? If not, go get it."

"I've seen that. He kept trying to show the articles to Misa but she wouldn't say anything."

L said, "Just about anyone could start drawing a connection between Misa and Kira from the mistakes she's already made. If she continues to act as Kira, it will get worse. I believe the only chance for her long-term survival and happiness is if she gives up being Kira and also has me to protect her."

"Why you? Misa could control other investigators into working for her, and they would never betray her."

He said, "I am the best in the world; actually I'm the best three since I have other detective identities. Also, there are limits to the notebook's control over behavior, and the investigators' work on Misa's behalf would be disorganized since there would be constant personnel changes resulting from the 23-day rule. Also, using me would protect Misa's mind. It could do Misa a lot of psychological damage to kill me, a person who is both her lover and the father of her child. If you are truly seeking her happiness, you need to protect her from actions that could cause enormous regret."

Rem said, "At one time, you were committed to catching Kira even if you had to sacrifice your life. How can I trust you? You might kill Misa when I'm not looking, then kill yourself."

"Technically, I've already caught Kira. I know who both of them are. And I'm more interested in stopping the deaths than in making sure Kira is punished. I think you also know that sexual relationships create bonds between humans, and having a child together creates an even stronger bond. I do not want Misa or my child to be harmed."

Rem said, "I will think about it," and started to phase through a wall.

"Wait! One more thing!"

Rem stopped.

L said, "Rem, you do admit I saved Misa's life by killing Light, don't you?"

"Yes. When you forced him to be honest he said he would kill Misa the moment she became a liability."

He said, "Then, in return for saving Misa's life, I would like to ask you one favor. If Misa is about to write down my name or Watari's name for a painful death, please kill us painlessly first."

Rem said, "For saving Misa's life, I will try to do this. However, I am not looking over Misa's shoulder all the time, and some of her plans are very sudden. I cannot guarantee it."

As Rem entirely left the room, L felt an enormous relief. If Rem were vigilant enough, then Misa would not kill him or Watari with the extremely disgusting type of death she'd threatened to use. Rem had also inadvertently given L more clues. Admitting that Light would have killed Misa sooner or later was a confirmation that Ryuk was right, a shinigami weakness did exist. There was a way to restrict Rem from acting, and Light had known it. Otherwise, Light would never dare to kill Misa and L's action would not have saved Misa's life.

The other clue was the way that Rem did not jump at the chance to erase Misa's memory when confronted with the way Misa's mistakes were bound to catch up with her. Those tabloid articles made the danger very clear. Despite Rem's obvious concern for Misa, she wasn't willing to forcibly destroy Misa's power and her memories of being Kira. The only way this made sense was if Rem were relying on Misa to do things that Rem couldn't do herself. Could humans do things with the notebook that gods of death couldn't do?

These two clues together suggested there were certain situations in which shinigami were incapable of acting. L was tempted to simply run for it and see what happened, but it was too risky. Without knowing what those situations were, he had no idea if he could create them or not. What he needed to do before running was to first manipulate circumstances so that Rem couldn't kill him or Watari, and he couldn't do that without more information.

Well, that was where the third plan came in. If it worked, he'd be put in a situation where he could test Rem as many times as he wanted without risk to himself, by making it seem as if the danger to Misa was coming from other people. Seeing the results of those experiments should allow him to figure out how to nullify Rem's threats. The third plan required talking to Misa. He'd have to wait until morning, at least. Perhaps longer if the servants attended to his needs as had been happening quite a bit recently.

L settled down to rehearse every detail of plan three in his mind, trying to see problems or loopholes and make sure he had all the counter-strategies in place. Midway through his musings, he suddenly realized something, and was immediately aware that his thinking process had truly been impaired by his captivity if it had taken him this long to realize it. He hadn't seen Ryuk for... how long? About a day?

When Misa had come in at the beginning of the night to put the frame in a horizontal position, L hadn't seen Ryuk following her, only Rem. That didn't mean anything. L had already seen that a shinigami didn't need to be right next to the death note owner, and Ryuk had the entire mansion and a chunk of the outdoor lawns to entertain himself with. There was no reason for him to follow Misa closely.

Even so, the thought worried L. There was something wrong; he could just feel it. Still worrying, he at last drifted off into a short, troubled sleep, punctuated by nightmares of Ryuk's leering, demon-clown face, red bubbles, bees, and sinister black notebooks. Through it all, he could often hear Watari's voice somewhere in the background, begging for help.

The next morning, L awoke in a bad mood. He didn't feel ready to launch the riskiest plan of his career, but he had no choice. He'd need to jump at the first opportunity. The servants were helping him with his morning routine instead of Misa, and Rem didn't even make an appearance. Instead, Hideki Ryuga kept popping in, watching television or wanting to talk about sports, fashion and movie stars. This was probably Hideki's idea of getting to know L better, an attempt to be considered worthy of hearing the rest of the story.

Finally, in the late afternoon, Misa appeared, with a new blindfold. L's eyes fixed on it with a creeping horror as Misa approached. He'd gotten used to seeing, and he didn't want that sense lost again. Misa smiled, and then the blindfold came on, cutting off everything in an enveloping blackness. L opened his mouth to speak, but in the next instant found his bonds being unfastened. As he slipped free of the metal frame, he fell heavily to his knees, thankful he was on thick carpet.

Then Misa's hands were on him again. He felt the straightjacket being loosened, and then sliding away. He heard the metallic snicking sound of the shackles being unlocked, and then they fell from his ankles. He was now completely free, dressed only in his clothing and the blindfold. Misa took his hand and led him in the direction of the bed, and then was pulling him onto it.

Was this nap time, or did Misa want sex? L shivered. Misa had left him alone sexually since Light's death, and a part of him had gotten very comfortable with the idea of not having sex with her. And, now, after seeing Watari, his sense of revulsion toward Misa was higher than before. Could he go through with it?

But then, Misa let him settle down and sink into the softness of the bed without trying to mount him or suck at his neck or run her hands underneath his skirt. She simply lay nearby; her knees touching his knees as her hands very tenderly stroked his shoulder and hair. Was she in a good mood or a bad mood? L couldn't see her face, but her smile right before the blindfold had cut off his vision had seemed a little insane. Misa in a bad mood was scary. He hoped it was a good mood, but so soon after Light's death, there wasn't much chance of that.

Still, her hands were gentle, and she seemed quite calm. L felt his heart warming toward her, a surge of that illogical gratitude again, for letting him relax in a bed. He knew she was a torturer and a murderer, not just of criminals but also of hard-working cops and complete innocents. She'd turned Hideki Ryuga and his entire household into the walking dead just to hide her activities. But, a part of L didn't want to believe she'd done any of those things; it wanted to ignore everything evil and disgusting about Misa. That part frightened L quite badly, especially with how easily Misa could bring out those feelings with just a few hints of kindness. This wasn't good. It wasn't good at all.

As Misa continued to be gentle and let L relax, his conflicted emotions tormented him even more. Misa was evil! She was! He had to hold on to that thought, keep his commitment firm. But then, after a long time of letting him relax, Misa was moving in closer. L stiffened at first, before telling himself it was best to relax. Whatever Misa wanted, it was best to give in, for now, and bide his time.

He expected sex, perhaps even rough sex, but instead Misa snuggled into him very tenderly. Her hands were not roaming over him in that sexual way he knew so well, but instead one was curled against his stomach and the other resting lightly on his side. L knew this was a rare chance to get closer to Misa emotionally, so he reached out his arms and hugged her, gathering her close and holding her. Misa's hot breath tickled his chest even through the t-shirt. There was a voice inside L whispering that what he was doing was dangerous. He was playing with his own emotions, not just hers. But, he ignored it and continued to cuddle Misa.

She said, "We killed him. Both of us killed him. It was so terrible."

There was a heavy sadness in her voice, and L found himself fighting to keep the images of Light out of his mind, the horrible red bubbles, the pink-stained vomit, the choking, strangled attempts at screaming. It was almost too much to bear, and L instinctively drew Misa closer into his embrace, seeking comfort. She felt so tiny, almost child-like, in his arms. He was a small man, but she was an exceptionally small woman. She felt thin and fragile, too thin. As a model, she probably didn't eat that well. He wanted to protect her. It was completely irrational, the idea of him protecting her.

He stroked her face and felt the wetness there. He hadn't heard any crying, but she must have been doing so. Misa pressed her head into his shoulder and L pet her hair. It was softer than he expected. He leaned in and smelled it. It was heavily scented with hair care products, smelling of strawberry, limes and a faint trace of chemicals.

Misa let out a little gasping sob and said, "I didn't listen and he... he was in so much pain."

Her fingers dug into him so hard it was painful, and her body shook with silent sobs. L wanted to feel nothing but hatred toward her. He wanted to paint her as the complete bad guy in his mind, as nothing but a villain, with not an ounce of human feeling in her. But, with this, Misa's suffering was laid open to him. He couldn't block it out or pretend it didn't exist. It didn't justify what she'd done, the people she'd killed or the captivity she'd inflicted on himself and Watari. But, it kept him from thinking of her as completely evil. There was something tragic in Misa that L wanted to comfort. He wished he didn't feel that way, but he did.

L continued holding her close, emotions surging within him. It wasn't just an act. He really did need comfort after seeing Light's death, and Misa needed comfort too. There was something very healing about the power of human touch. Both of them needed this, and it felt good. L tried not to think about the past or the future. He just wanted to cling to Misa's warmth, tenderly enclosing her in his arms, rocking back and forth slightly. They had shared a trauma that nobody else would understand without seeing the same thing. It was connection, a timeless moment of sharing as they clung to each other, so upset but gaining mutual comfort.

L felt an immense sadness inside him, a heavy weight on his heart. He didn't want to be L the detective, a person with a history of chasing Kira and a knowledge of just how evil Misa could be, and he didn't want Misa to be the second Kira, a mass-murderer. He wanted them to be just a man and a woman, sharing the pleasure that could be produced by their bodies.

Misa obviously felt the same way. After a long cuddling session, she began kissing him and groping him, seeking a deeper connection, a more intimate form of touch. L responded enthusiastically, though a kind of nausea was twisting in his gut at the thought of having sex with Misa once again. He both wanted it and was sickened by it at the same time, but he tried to bury his nausea deep within and increase the pleasurable feelings. He knew Misa could make him feel very good, and perhaps the pain would go away for a short time.

He climbed on top of her, reveling in his hands being free, and began slowly, sensuously undressing her. Misa trembled under his touch and arched upward into his caresses. When he had Misa completely naked, he lowered his mouth to the dampness between her legs and began eating her out, turning his head sideways, so he could slip his tongue inside her vagina and use his lips to create suction on her clitoris at the same time.

Misa clamped her thighs around his head very tightly, almost hurting him when she came. L gave her clit a brief rest but inserted two fingers, finger-fucking her, making her gasp and moan. She was trying to pull him up her body, to position him for the actual sex, but he resisted, beginning to lap at her clitoris once again, flicks and swirls and all the techniques he knew she liked, and increased the number of fingers inside her to three, curling up as he thrust, trying to stimulate her g-spot. In a few more minutes, he'd coaxed another marvelous orgasm out of her. Only then did he crawl up her body, inserting himself and beginning to move in and out in a steady rhythm. It was so much nicer being on top when you weren't in a straightjacket. L liked having his arms free to support his weight.

It felt very good, Misa squirming underneath him with her little feminine pants, so extremely wet down there as he pushed in again and again. He needed this; he needed the comfort of touch at a time like this and the forgetting that could come from losing yourself in a base instinct so completely. He wished it were anyone but her underneath him, but he could always fantasize and pretend and block out. L was getting quite good at disconnecting, pushing the shame into a little corner of his brain for dealing with later. He drove himself into her with a frenzied desperation, the desperation of a dying man, feeling a burning need to sink ever deeper inside her, to go further than before. He repeatedly rammed in so hard and so far that she took in his entire quivering shaft right to the base along with the tiniest portion of his balls.

His hands were all over her, glad to be free of their confinement. L and Misa became a flurry of arms and legs, rolling over and over on the bed, frequently switching who was on top. L subtly fought for dominance, trying to make sure he was on top more of the time. What they were doing felt like life to L. It felt like being alive, perhaps the last strong passion he'd ever experience. He was afraid to let it end.

A part of his mind knew Misa was planning to kill him, just knew it. He also knew that his murder, if Rem didn't change it, would perhaps happen in an incredibly gruesome way. But here, now, having sex, so warm and wet, with breasts and hands and licking and sliding around and pressing his most sensitive body part in and out of her moist place that was so suited to its contours, this was a time Misa couldn't kill him.

Adrenaline pumped through his body, and he felt so alive, with his death perhaps lurking just around the corner, but it only made him more frenzied, more determined to lose himself in something other than death for a short time. But, no matter what he did, his level of pleasure only rose so far. Something was holding him back. It felt good, but he was frightened, very frightened, and he couldn't come.

He tried harder, grunting with the force and speed of his thrusts, but his orgasm continued to elude him. After a time he settled down and tried to simply enjoy the sensations of sex itself. Coming wasn't necessary. This was about Misa's desires, after all. L needed to please Misa. It would be best if she were in a very good mood once she found out about plan three. So, he concentrated on her needs, touching her and embracing her just so, trying to create the illusion of true closeness, bringing his thumb to her clit and rubbing relentlessly as he thrust his penis inside her again and again, until at last he brought her to another exquisite climax.

Misa was still shaking from the aftershocks and he was moving inside her steadily when he leaned down and kissed her on the lips. It was a place he usually avoided as much as he thought he could, but this time it was not as distasteful as usual. Misa's lips were soft and warm, and they only provoked a small stab of nausea. He knew he was running out of time. He could feel it. He had to move things along as fast as possible. He carefully adjusted his tone of voice to what he judged would be the most pleasing to her without any risk of sounding fake.

Then he said, "Misa, do you love me even a little bit, even slightly?"

She said nothing, but all at once her muscles felt limp, her flesh dead and unresponsive as he ran his hands along her torso. Then he heard it. It was so quiet it was almost imperceptible, even at this short distance. Misa was crying.

L withdrew from Misa and cuddled her close, rolling onto his side and pulling her with him, enclosing her in his arms. He stroked her hair, and then kissed her tears, licking them away with little flicks of his tongue. Misa's body sagged into him, and L had the feeling, from her body language, that she was ashamed. He wished he could rip off the blindfold and look at her face, to use his profiling talents to truly and precisely judge her state of mind, but he couldn't. She had put the blindfold on him too recently, and she was threatened by physical intimacy whenever he could see her. He had to respect her comfort zones, even though she didn't respect his.

Instead, L hugged her, and let her cry until the tears ran out.

Then, Misa said, "You never came."

"It's because I'm frightened, Misa. My death is approaching, isn't it?"

Misa said nothing.

L said, "Children always ask about their fathers. What will you say when our little girl or little boy asks about me? Will you say you killed me?"

L could feel Misa moving down his body, and in a few moments he knew what she planned to do.

"Misa, that isn't necessary."

But, she didn't listen. She took his now-soft penis in her mouth and began sucking it and rolling it around. L didn't want this. He didn't want it! It was too much. If she could make him come, then maybe something inside him would break.

L said, "Misa, stop it, please. I don't need it."

She didn't listen. A rising panic was surging within L as he hardened in her mouth and her actions started feeling really good. He wanted to tell her to stop again, but he didn't. It was too risky to reject her now, especially after everything he'd already let her do. It was pointless to resist. She needed to trust him at least slightly, to think of him as a possible partner, or plan three wouldn't be likely to work.

L tried to push the panic deep inside him, folding it down until it was a little knot in his stomach, right next to the sickness and disgust. He imagined it wasn't Misa's mouth pleasuring him, but a high-tech sex toy designed to replicate the sensations of a blow job. And, it did feel good. His body liked it, regardless of what his mind thought. Misa had only sucked on him a few times before, and then it was only to get him hard enough for real sex, especially on those days when she wanted multiple encounters and he wore out faster than she did.

But, this time, it wasn't a brief interlude. It continued, and it felt better with every passing second, and L had to admit, as he squirmed underneath her and even thrust up into her face a bit instinctively, that the human mouth could do a lot of things that a vagina couldn't. Misa could manipulate so many aspects of the experience, creating suction, and moving her tongue around, and biting just slightly, and clamping down on him harder than her vagina ever had. She even grabbed his balls and rolled them around in her hands, squeezing and massaging in a rhythm almost matched to the strokes of her mouth.

L felt betrayed by his body, but his excitement was surely rising, and Misa just felt so good. Her mouth pleasured him relentlessly, an onslaught of rising bliss, and her soft hair brushed along his skin as she moved her head, tickling his thighs and lower stomach, and it was all so sensual. He began thrusting so much that she had trouble keeping up with him, but he couldn't help it. That instinct was taking him over again, and he was letting out little keening cries of pleasure. He felt incredibly sick and dirty.

Then Misa was taking him inside her mouth deeper, and he could feel her throat muscles making swallowing movements around his sensitive head, and he suddenly lost it, crazy with desire, shouting out something dirty that he only dimly heard as he emptied concentrated pleasure into Misa, her swallowing movements causing him to spiral up to an additional peak of bliss mid-orgasm, his thighs holding her head like a vice as he spasmed. He let out another instinctive cry just as his orgasm finished and, to him, it sounded like a cry of defeat.

He was losing to her in some way, he knew it. Misa had done something incredibly horrible to him, and it had gotten under his skin and had been eating its way inward since the first time she molested him. The corruption was almost all the way to his soul. He needed to save the last pure part of himself before she soiled that too. He needed to act quickly.

She was still licking up his essence, but he reached down and pulled her head up, getting her into a sitting position on the edge of the bed and then sitting next to her.

Misa said, "What?"

L put his hand on her belly and said, "Misa, I want our child to have a good life. I think our baby would benefit from having both a mother and a father. Because of this concern and the feelings I've started having toward you and because I don't want to die, I've decided to confess something. I want Rem in here to listen too. After you've heard it, then you should decide whether to kill me."

Rem said, "I'm here."

L tried to ignore his disgust at wondering just how much of the sex act Rem had seen, and said, "Misa, Light must have told you how I protected myself from him. I let it be known that if I died, Light would be proven as Kira since no other Kira suspect knew I was L. Early in the investigation, I hid Watari and Mogi from him. Then, when Light became too deeply involved in the investigation to hide any on-site investigators from him, I appointed several distant investigators to perform the same function and I periodically sent them information about the investigation. Those investigators know you and Light as the prime Kira suspects, and they will probably be on your trail very soon."

Misa said, "You betrayed me!"

L said, "I did so before we developed any kind of relationship, and it was only what I'd been doing all along."

Misa said, "Well, I'm sure you know their names and faces, so I'll just get you to write their names in the death note and the problem will be solved."

L said, "Misa, that won't do you any good, only harm. I told each of these investigators the strategy I was using to protect myself, and I know they have copied my strategy and all have additional hidden people who will act if they die. Furthermore, they will act in the knowledge that you are almost certainly Kira. Even if you eliminated the second layer of investigators, I'm sure there's a third layer by now, or maybe even a fourth, each layer protected by secrecy and each death you might cause being a trap for your undoing."

"Well, you're smart! How do I kill them all?"

"Misa, this was a trap designed to catch Light, and I'm at about the same level of intelligence as him. I designed something I wouldn't be able to deactivate. Any attempts will only give more clues to the survivors. This is a problem that can't be solved with the death note. Also, even if you could kill them all, you haven't been safe since you killed so many of the paparazzi. With that evidence, investigators of ordinary intelligence could easily guess you might be Kira."

Rem said, "Misa, this is true. The articles will surely draw a lot of suspicion your way. You can't escape from this trouble by killing investigators."

Misa let loose an angry little scream. "So, are you saying I've been defeated from the beginning, and you knew it? You bastard!"

L replied, "Misa, the investigators probably haven't made significant moves yet. They didn't know the location of headquarters, so they won't know that it was attacked, and they don't know what I look like, so they won't realize from the tabloid photos that I'm now your prisoner. It was probably not until Light's death that they realized something was wrong and, after failing to contact Watari, or me, they probably started their investigations today or yesterday. I didn't put you in any danger by delaying my confession, and I'm now in a position to save you."

"But, you said I couldn't be saved!"

"No," L said, "I said you couldn't save yourself, and that neither of us could save you by killing. There is another way, and I'm the best person to help you in that way. You need to stop killing with the notebook and let me hide you. I'm experienced in moving around the world secretly and I have hundreds of fake identities. If you disappear completely and stop creating new clues with the notebook, it will be extremely difficult for any investigator to catch you, no matter how sure they are that you must be Kira. I can hide us better than anyone else could. We'll probably be pursued, but we'll keep moving, and once we shake off all pursuit we can settle down somewhere to raise our child together."

Misa said, "You'll just try to kill me at a later time."

L said, "I'll never betray you, because I know Rem will kill me. I'll keep you safe. But, I need to be free and have access to my normal resources. I can't be restrained any more, and the torture needs to stop. And, I have another confession to make as well."

In a tired, bitter voice, Misa said, "What?"

"I'm not the greatest detective in the world. 'L' is actually a team of two people, Watari and myself. Either of us wouldn't be as good alone. And, without Watari, I would lose a lot of my drive and determination. He is like a father to me and I'd be devastated if I lost him. Misa, you know what it is like to lose parents. It is an experience nobody should have to go through. If you decide to let me loose and be your detective, saving you from other detectives, Watari is part of the deal. I won't do it without him."

L sat in silence then, allowing Misa to digest the information. He could feel her nervously shifting around as she sat on the edge of the bed, thinking. If only he could judge her facial expression! But, even without being able to see, he received an impression of extreme anger. L knew he'd almost won. He'd backed Misa into a corner where she had little choice. A logical person should accept L's help in these circumstances. The trouble was that Misa was not all that logical to begin with, and she was very upset, and she had good reasons to expect a betrayal.

L knew he would betray her. He'd have to wait until the right moment, but he would. If he could be free and have access to his usual resources, he could easily set up plausible threats to Misa that only Rem could combat. He could use criminals condemned to death posing as detectives looking for Kira. He'd have them suddenly descend on Misa in circumstances where she couldn't access her own death note. Then Rem would have no choice but to kill for Misa's sake.

L knew he could arrange things so that Rem wouldn't realize it was a set up. After all, Misa would be a fugitive on the run from every law enforcement agency in the world, so it was completely believable that she'd be threatened constantly. Then, L would use the results of those experiments to figure out Rem's weakness, the way to prevent her from acting. Once he'd protected himself from Rem, he'd turn over Misa to the authorities.

From then on, it would be out of his hands. L didn't know whether Misa would be executed or put in prison for life or judged insane and locked in an insane asylum, but he didn't care. It would be nice to let someone else make that decision. The only thing he knew was that, if the authorities decided on execution, they would delay it if Misa really were pregnant.

Then he felt Misa getting up, and in the next moment she was thrusting clothes into his hands. L dressed himself as Misa put the shackles around his ankles and locked them.

L said, "Misa, for what we've had together and for our child, if you decide to decline my help, please kill me cleanly. That's all I ask. I want a good death."

His words were addressed to Misa, but he was really talking to Rem. In a minute, Misa finished putting him into all his restraints and he heard her quick, delicate steps moving away and then the door slamming. A second later, he said, "Rem, watch her closely. She might try to kill me in a painful way."

He did not hear any answer. Was Rem angry too, or was she gone?

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, now plan two failed and plan three has come into the open. Will it work? It is based on a backbone of logic, but unfortunately it requires Misa's acceptance. And, if it fails, there is still a chance Rem might save L.

There's going to be an additional use for Hideki Ryuga. I'm not saying what, but it will get a bit messy! The death note can have unintended effects if the victims are faced with decisions you didn't anticipate.


	14. Misa

**Chapter 14: Misa**

L expected Misa to storm back into the room with a decision, or to feel himself dying as Rem kept her end of the bargain, but instead hours went by with no indication of his fate. Hideki Ryuga's servants attended to L's needs, hand-feeding him a delicious meal of mostly cake. None of them asked any questions about the blindfold L now wore but, when he asked them about "the old man" they assured him Watari was doing well, and that one of the cooks had been bringing him additional water and food, against orders.

L wondered if Misa would try to challenge his bluff. While the exact story he'd told her wasn't true, it was close to the truth. Roger Ruvie would soon involve too many investigators for L to have any chance of being able to shut it down, and even if Roger did die, other detectives would be on Misa's trail very soon from her mistake with the paparazzi. Misa would never find out the exact truth unless she controlled L into confessing everything honestly, as he'd done with Light. In that case, L would be dead and useless to her, so she probably wouldn't do it.

The afternoon had turned into evening and still no sign of Misa when the door opened and L heard a rolling sound of wheels on carpet, just like the metal frame he was attached to. His heart jumped. Was Watari being put in the same room?

L said, "Is it you?"

Hideki Ryuga's voice answered, "Yes, I got really bored in this thing so I thought we could talk. Yuki, put me right next to him."

L was beginning to imagine what Hideki Ryuga had done, but he wanted conformation. L said, "Yuki, could you remove my blindfold for just a second, and then put it back?"

L felt the servant pulling the blindfold off, and then he saw one of the oddest things he'd seen in his entire life. Hideki Ryuga was in exactly the same sort of restraints that L was in. He had a straightjacket, shackles, a wheeled metal frame, and even a blindfold.

As L's own blindfold was replaced and the view cut off, L said, "Hideki, what are you doing?"

"I'm trying out these techniques. So far it's been extremely boring. I couldn't believe how bored I was. But, I want to get to the good part. And, I think Misa likes it."

L tried to decide if this bizarre situation was good or bad or neutral. Hideki Ryuga had obviously completely swallowed the lie L had told him, which was the only plausible story L could think of that would keep Hideki from possibly letting him and Watari out of their restraints at some point, and thus provoking Misa's wrath. From what Rem said, Hideki had been controlled to let anyone who asked become his houseguests, to keep the existence of those houseguests secret from outsiders, and to not ask questions of those houseguests.

L didn't know of any other way Hideki had been controlled, but obviously if it included obedience the notebook was unable to specify which houseguest Hideki was supposed to be obedient to. Hideki could let Misa's prisoners out of the restraints any time he wanted, so it was best to preserve an illusion of consent to keep that from happening. So, for that reason, and to retain Hideki Ryuga's cooperation in keeping the Watari visit secret, L needed to not contradict his earlier story. But, if Misa saw Hideki in bondage, it might anger her. She was dealing with enough things already without Hideki Ryuga's bizarre attempt to hit on her.

L said, "The boring part actually lasts a couple of weeks. Do you think you have enough stamina?"

"Hey, I can wait around in the make-up chair of a movie set for twelve hours. I can do it."

"Two weeks is a lot longer than twelve hours."

"I'm man enough to endure it if a cross-dresser and an old guy are capable of it."

"Don't you have obligations in life?"

"My latest movie stopped filming last week."

"I don't like you hitting on my girlfriend."

"She asked to live here, so she must like me. Besides, I know her much better than you do. I've never heard her talk about you. I don't think you're serious about her."

L considered whether he should try any more. Hideki Ryuga sounded determined, and more attempts to dissuade him might only strengthen that determination. The best way to get him away would be to bore him, but there might not be much time for that. L decided to try. He started a conversation about whether West Frisian, North Frisian and Saterland Frisian should be considered three languages or three dialects of a single language, and discussed the arguments scholars used to support each side. L knew how to create any particular kind of conversation. He was adept at impersonating people other than L on the phone and imitating various styles of talking.

He gradually changed the characteristics of his speech to be dry and almost monotone, while at the same time having a kind of feverish insistency that only geniuses who really care about a topic can muster. He timed the change gradually, so it would seem as if he were a person with a fanatical streak about a certain subject who was gradually getting more and more excited as he delved into his chosen topic, not someone who was acting. Each time Hideki Ryuga tried to change the subject, L rudely and vigorously brought it right back.

L never got the chance to see if he could bore Hideki Ryuga out of the room. L stopped speaking when he heard what sounded like Misa's footsteps, but with slightly different characteristics. From the sound, L got an impression of anger. The footsteps were firmer than usual, placed more deliberately than her normal quick, delicate patter. They approached the door of the room, and then the door opened and L heard a feminine gasp. As she drew nearer and L heard her breathing, he was sure of it. Misa was angry, and he thought that perhaps she'd been crying as well.

L said, "Hideki, why don't you leave? I have things to discuss with my girlfriend."

In a very quiet voice, Misa said, "One of the servants had her little girl with her today, and then another servant brought out photos of her children, and a bunch of others did too. They showed me those kids."

L didn't know what to say. The consequences of Misa's actions had been coming down on her hard lately, one thing after another. To someone whose own parents had been murdered, it must be bad to see children who would soon lose a parent and to know you were personally responsible.

Rem said, "Misa, why don't you just kill him with the death note? This isn't a good idea. It will leave more clues."

Misa said, "Shut up. I never asked for your advice. I bet you're glad Light's dead."

L heard a choked sob, and then Misa said, "This is all your fault! You were planning this from the beginning! You killed Kira. I can't be Kira. I can't."

Then L felt cold metal pressed to his chin. He thought he knew what it was.

Misa said, "Yes, L, this is Matsuda's gun. It's your fault he's dead, you know. So many police officers have died from your mistakes and your selfishness. L, the greatest detective in the world, bound and taken prisoner by a girl. Isn't that wonderful?"

Hideki Ryuga said, "Role-playing! Detective and suspect! Misa, let me be another detective, or maybe a criminal, your choice."

L said, "Hideki, shut up or you'll die."

Misa ignored the exchange and slid the gun along L's jaw, resting it just under his ear.

She said, "It's so impersonal to just write your name. What if I give you twenty-three days to live and then change my mind? But, if you die now, this way, then I had courage about it. I want to look you in the face and blow your brains out."

L said, "Misa, thank you. This is a good death. I'm sorry you didn't want to create a family with me, but I understand your decision."

Misa screamed. A few moments later, L heard her sobbing. It was hard sobbing, the kind that shakes a person's shoulders and makes their lungs raw. L stayed quiet, sure that anything he might say at the moment would only make things worse.

When the sobbing had quieted a bit, Misa said, "L, I don't want the baby. I hate it. I only lived for Kira, and you took him, and then I only lived to become Kira and create the next Kira, and you took all that too. There's nothing left. You took everything that matters. What do all these deaths mean?"

Rem screamed, "Misa! Don't!"

Misa said, "Rem, if you take one more step, I'll do it."

L guessed what Misa might be doing, and he said, "Misa, your life is valuable. Just think about your decision for a few days and it won't seem like this. Things will get better."

Misa screamed, "My parents are dead and justice was not served. It will never be served!"

L heard an inhuman snarl from Rem at the same moment as a gunshot.

L said, "Rem, get me out! I'll help Misa."

L felt the straps holding him to the metal frame snapping and then the straightjacket came off with a loud tearing sound. L stumbled free of the metal frame, reaching up and pulling off his blindfold, seeing Misa on the floor with blood pooling around her head. Her eyes were open but looked completely vacant. L went to the bed as fast as his shackles allowed, pulled off a sheet and tore it into strips as he returned to Misa. He located the bullet wound and wrapped the strips tightly around her skull to put pressure on it and stop the bleeding.

Then L got Misa's cellphone from her purse and called a hospital, asking them to send a medical helicopter for speed, since Hideki Ryuga's mansion was just slightly remote. During the call, Hideki started shouting, "No! Don't come! This is a prank call!"

Rem put a hand over Hideki's mouth and shut him up for the rest of the call. The medical workers talked L through some additional steps of checking Misa's breathing and pulse. Both were good, but Misa's open eyes were not looking at anything at all, and when L looked at them he had a sick feeling Misa would not survive.

L said, "Rem, Hideki is following the instructions to keep his houseguests secret from outsiders. I assume the servants have been instructed that way too?"

Rem said, "Yes. Why?"

"Just as he tried to prevent me from bringing in medical help, the servants will probably try to prevent the medics from coming in here and helping Misa. The helicopter will land on the back lawn. Please make a clear direct route from here to there. Lock servants in the kitchen or in whatever rooms work for that purpose, and break the locks so they can't get out quickly."

Rem disappeared through a wall and L hovered over Misa, constantly monitoring her breathing and pulse. The makeshift bandage seemed to have slowed the bleeding quite a bit. After what seemed like a very long time, he heard a helicopter landing on the back lawn and, shortly after, many running steps approaching. L stepped back from Misa as medical workers flooded into the room. They loaded Misa onto a stretcher with incredible speed and efficiency. As L followed them, suddenly a servant jumped in front of them and blocked them with her body, saying, "No, you can't go!"

L slipped ahead and shoved the woman into a wall to let the stretcher past. Once they had gone past, L wrestled the woman into a closet and dragged a couch in front of the door, pinning it closed. He went in the direction the stretcher had gone and found it impeded by a group of servants. L jumped into the mess and began fighting them out of the way as best he could with his shackle-clad legs. A moment later, Rem joined him and pinned several bewildered servants to the wall. The stretcher slipped past and continued outside. L could hear sirens coming up the driveway. Someone had called the police. Probably the hospital after they heard "gunshot wound" as L's description of Misa's injury.

L said, "Rem, I've saved Misa's life twice now and I intend to keep my bargain. Please don't kill me."

Just then, there was a screaming from outside. L rushed out and saw Misa being loaded into the helicopter as Hideki Ryuga was standing on a balcony slightly above and to the side of the helicopter, waving his arms and screaming. He stopped screaming and said, "If you try to leave, I'll jump into the blades."

Several medical workers were looking at him, unsure, but then they all finished getting into the helicopter and it started lifting from the ground.

At that moment, Hideki jumped, landing on the rotor and seeming to pass through it to the ground. A spray of blood followed him, and one severed arm was tumbling beside him. Hideki landed on the grass with a loud thump and immediately began a bloodcurdling scream. The side of his torso where the arm had been severed was a mass of raw, bloody tissue with white fragments of shattered ribs sticking out.

The helicopter descended the short distance to the ground, and the workers rushed out, gathering up Hideki and his severed arm and loading them in. Then, the helicopter lifted off. Rem suddenly stood beside L.

She said, "For now, because Misa might love you and because she has your child inside her, I will let you live. Do not think you can betray me, human."

With that, Rem spread her wings and flew after the helicopter. Cops were already beginning to spill around the side of the building.

L walked to the nearest one and said, "May I talk with your superior?"

The man gave L a disgusted look, taking in his mini-skirt, the healing bee-stings all over his bare legs, his shackles, and the blood on him, then turned and began leading L around to the front of the building in a very rapid walk. L was pointed to a very busy-looking cop surrounded by five others.

L walked up to the man and said, "Call NPA Deputy-Director Kitamura and give him code three-five-zero-four-two-nine."

The officer looked for a moment as if he wouldn't obey, but then got out his cellphone and made the call. His eyes widened a bit as he said, "Yes, sir. Yes, sir!"

As the officer put the phone away, he looked at L more seriously and said, "I've never met such a high-ranking undercover agent. I'm honored to meet you, and I see you are very dedicated to your job. What are your orders?"

"Gather up your officers, give them a talk about the importance of preventing leaks, and evacuate. This is a high security crime scene."

"Do you need any assistance?"

"My operatives will be here soon."

The officer bowed, and started toward the front entrance of the mansion. L stayed outside. He knew it would be counterproductive to go inside until his order had been propagated through all the officers, or otherwise he'd just get stopped and questioned repeatedly, wasting time. Instead, L made a phone call to Wedy. It was entirely possible Wedy and Aiber were still alive, because they had been absent from the investigation center for several days leading up to the attack. Misa might have never seen their names.

The ringing stopped, but there was no voice. L wasn't surprised. Wedy was cautious.

L said, "It's Ryuzaki. The target has been neutralized. I require assistance in a search."

Wedy replied, "Is there any way you can prove that bitch isn't forcing you to lure me in? She already got Aiber. I heard it over a comm link. He was so close to rescuing Watari."

L said, "Check any of the 24-hour news channels. I'm sure someone will leak word of it within the next ten minutes or so. Misa Amane has a bullet in her brain. If you're still not satisfied about your safety, keep your motorcycle helmet on the entire time you're here to hide your face."

There was a pause, and then Wedy agreed and asked for directions. As L described how to get to Hideki Ryuga's mansion, he was already mourning for Aiber. The con man had been a good guy. Even when he'd been a criminal, the only way he ever hurt people was by taking their money, and, since it was a compulsive thrill more than anything, Aiber often gave some of the money back to his victims or to charities. Aiber abhorred violence with a passion. Before the Kira case, L had only talked to him over a computer or a phone, but there had been many conversations, and L missed him.

L waited until the cops had dispersed to re-enter the building. Misa had two notebooks. He hadn't seen Ryuk flying after that helicopter along with Rem, which made him suspect the worst. If Ryuk was no longer following Misa, then Misa had either destroyed that notebook or given it to another person. L didn't think Misa would destroy either of the two notebooks. It didn't seem like something Misa would do. L made his way to Watari's room and let him free, explaining the situation. Watari could barely walk after such a long time in his bindings, and sat on the floor, rubbing his arms and legs. L soon found some servants who had clothing in Watari's size and brought it to him.

Then, the doorbell was ringing, and L went to get it. A bunch of servants were already crowded there, blocking the view and insisting to Wedy that nothing was going on.

L shouted, "Wedy, tell them about how Hideki Ryuga invited you to be his houseguest!"

Wedy said, "Oh, yes! That happened, all right."

L groaned at her bad acting, but it worked. The servants made way.

Wedy came in, still wearing her motorcycle helmet to obscure her face, and said, "What's wrong with them?"

L answered, "They're the walking dead. Now, we need to search everywhere Misa may have hidden the notebooks. I'll need a thorough job on this mansion since it's the most likely place for one of them. Then Misa's apartment and everywhere else we can think of."

Wedy put one hand on her hip and said, "The whole mansion?"

L said, "I can help, and Watari might too if he can get the circulation going in his legs soon. You're the expert on searching. Tell me what to do."

Wedy said, "First, get some normal clothing on. That outfit is a complete eyesore."

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

When Misa made it so Hideki Ryuga and his servants would keep all houseguests secret, she wasn't imagining that she'd need to have the authorities called. Good thing L was there. Nobody else was capable of calling the authorities. I suppose Rem could, but nobody would hear her voice over the phone so that wouldn't work anyway.

And, Hideki Ryuga jumped into the blades of a helicopter and survived - but there's no rule that says you'll survive in good shape. I'm sure he's also very confused about why he did that. How did he get out of his restraints? Well, since Rem didn't manage to lock up very many of the servants, Hideki Ryuga called out to one of them to let him out. Since it didn't happen within sight or hearing of L and this is an L POV story, I didn't write about it and I hope my readers figured it out.

Well, now there's a rudimentary investigation team again, of L, Wedy and Watari.

And, Misa's severely injured. She had too many traumatic experiences and all her dreams crumbled too, and she just decided to kill herself.


	15. Teamwork

**CHAPTER 15: Teamwork**

Within the space of two hours, L had washed off the blood and dressed himself in Hideki Ryuga's clothing, Wedy had located one of Misa's notebooks, and L had confirmed that there had been one heart-failure death of a criminal who had been newly announced on the media after Misa's attempted suicide, even though Misa was still unconscious. By that point, Wedy had finally reassured herself enough to remove her motorcycle helmet.

There was still a lot of searching that could potentially be done for the other notebook, the one attached to Ryuk, but L decided it was time to take a break and have a meeting. The servants were snoopy and not entirely obedient, but L was able to find a room that could only be entered by going up a stairway, and the stairs creaked quite loudly, so he felt it was reasonably secure. There was no telling what the servants might do if they realized a murder notebook, or possibly two, were on the premises. Even though fated to die and with their free will restricted in some ways, they were still capable of making their own decisions about many issues.

L started by briefly summarizing what had happened during his captivity, leaving out the sex, leaving out everything about his torture other than simply mentioning that he had been tortured, and omitting Misa's claims of being pregnant. L knew he still had hickeys on his neck, and he did wonder if either Watari or Wedy suspected something sexual had occurred. The hickeys looked somewhat like bruises, or like marks that could be produced by torture, so their existence wasn't conclusive evidence.

L was surprised by the sound of his own voice as he reported on the events of his captivity. It sounded so calm, clinical and emotionless, even when mentioning Light's suicide. He had an ability to detach from things, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to pursue so many gruesome serial killers during his career, but it still seemed odd to be able to talk about those events, even in such a hasty, superficial way, without his voice shaking.

L then received a similar report from Watari, which was even briefer and less detailed. Watari hadn't been kicked out of any hotels, and had only been let out of the wheeled metal frame for bathroom breaks and once-weekly baths. Furthermore, Rem had cared for him most of the time, and she had been instructed to not talk to him, so he'd heard almost nothing.

Then Wedy told the story of the underground offensive she'd launched against Misa in conjunction with Aiber, and of how the last report she'd heard from Aiber was that he'd managed to get a glimpse of Watari. Then all sound went dead over their connection, and nothing else had been heard. Wedy had immediately abandoned their makeshift headquarters in case Aiber had been controlled into betraying her location before dying. L nodded, immensely saddened.

It was possible Aiber might be alive yet, but if so he was some variety of the walking dead. He might have mostly free will, or he might be as restricted in his actions as Light had been. L resolved to look for Aiber in hopes of restoring him to his family, but only after more pressing matters had been taken care of. In any case, Aiber's name was not in the notebook they had now, so there was no knowing what had been done to him. Either that page had been ripped out, or his name was in the other notebook.

At the end of Wedy's account, L said, "I believe Ryuk's notebook is in the hands of a new Kira, based on the death by heart failure of Shinji Yamanaka ten minutes after his crime was publicized, an hour ago when Misa couldn't have done it. There is a slight possibility Rem did it herself to throw off suspicion, but if so that doesn't fit with Ryuk's absence. Since Rem is attached to Misa, the first thing I will do is visit Misa and ask Rem about it. There is a possibility Rem might just tell me the truth."

Wedy said, "Ryuzaki, I don't trust this at all. That shinigami should have killed you by now, and it could still control you into doing things at any time it wanted. Why does it even have a deal with you?"

"I saved Misa's life twice, as a side effect of trying to stay alive myself, and I convinced Rem there was more to it than that. Rem knows it is pointless to kill me because other investigators will take my place, and she also believes I will help Misa appear innocent."

Wedy said, "Will you do that?"

"I won't go out of my way to make Misa appear innocent, and I'm certainly not going to kill anyone for Misa, but I must appear to cooperate with Rem until I can learn the secret way to prevent a shinigami from killing. Once that happens, we can do whatever we want about Misa, but, until then, the focus needs to be on stopping the newest Kira and preventing Misa from ever acquiring this notebook again."

Watari asked, "What should our next actions be? Should we burn the notebook we have?"

L said, "No, we should wait. If the notebook is burned, Rem will be able to go anywhere she wants, not just in Misa's vicinity, and she might cause more trouble that way. Also, Rem might perceive burning the notebook as a betrayal unless I ask her if I can do it beforehand. However, we do need to place the notebook in a high-security vault soon."

Watari said, "What should we do while you're gone?"

"I'm taking Hideki Ryuga's cellphone; call me on it if you need anything. Keep watch over all of Misa's cellphones just in case the new Kira phones her. Continue searching this mansion for any clues until everything has been completely examined, and secure Misa's apartment for later searching. Photocopy every page of the notebook and get it into a safe as soon as you can. By tomorrow, I want a new headquarters purchased, something small and inconspicuous since it will be a few days until we can install high-security measures. Also, Watari, please ask Matt to join us, and if he agrees, fly him here immediately. Explain the risks involved, and don't let him make an impulsive decision because of excitement alone."

Wedy said, "Who is Matt?"

L said, "Matt is someone with more computer expertise than either one of us. I'm assuming Ryuk's notebook is in the hands of a Kira supporter, and most of those seem to congregate online. None of Misa's friends are Kira supporters, so I do not see any other way for Misa to have located a new Kira candidate. Ryuk is too unreliable for Misa to have sent him out on his own. It is likely we will at first be chasing the new Kira through the Internet before locating that Kira in real life. We might not need someone with Matt's level of skill, but if a need for him suddenly comes up, I'd rather not wait for a flight to take him halfway across the world."

With that said, L turned to leave. He descended the stairs, finding a cluster of servants gathered at the bottom. He was sure they couldn't have heard anything and, as he'd calculated, they were afraid to climb the steps and have the creaking give them away. He could see intense curiosity shining on all their faces, but none of them asked any questions. It must be a kind of minor torture to have such weird things happening around you and be unable to ask those people responsible anything about it.

As he pushed through the knot of servants, he was saddened. They would all be dead in less than a month, and he'd already seen the deaths written for them. Misa had been smart enough to realize that having Hideki Ryuga and all his servants dying around the same time would be too suspicious unless she came up with a good reason, and the reason had been the mansion burning down. All the servants were scheduled to burn to death. L resolved to make sure to arrange things so their deaths resulted from heart attacks instead, and to put enough morphine in their systems beforehand to make the process painless.

When L exited the mansion, a driver was already waiting for him. He hadn't wanted to waste Watari's time with something so trivial, and L had too many tasks that needed doing to drive himself, so he had ordered a limo of the kind that had a motorized privacy wall between the driver and the backseat. L gave a few quick instructions to the driver and then had the soundproof wall ascend.

The first thing he did after that was to remove some cake from the mini-fridge and start making some tea in the included microwave as he tried to find a comfortable position. Getting his usual baggy clothing had not been a priority, so he was still in Hideki Ryuga's clothes. The guy had a similar build to L, but unfortunately he preferred tight pants, and L found it almost impossible to comfortably sit in his usual crouch.

L tried taking off the pants and crouching in mere underwear, but it made him feel open and vulnerable to have his legs bare and so much air circulation around his privates. Horrifying memories of being forced to wear a skirt without underwear were pressing in on him, so he gave up and put the pants back on, sitting on the back seat like a normal person would, with his feet on the floor. By then, the tea was hot, and he had some of it with plenty of sugar cubes, along with a few bites of cake, and then he started feeling a bit like his old self again. Damaged, changed forever in some ways, but not too bad. He could take it. He could endure.

L ate two slices of cake, finished his tea, and then felt ready to start on the next task. He opened the cabinet built into the back of the front seat and got out the new laptop there, ready for use. The first thing he did was to access his computer that had the death countdown clock and some of his most crucial files. He downloaded a copy of his usual voice modulator. Now, he'd be able to communicate with the police or any of his contacts without any hassles.

Next, L married Misa. He created all the necessary documentation and governmental database entries to indicate that Misa Amane and Hideki Ryuga the To-Oh University student had secretly married three months previously. Not just anyone would be allowed into the hospital room of a comatose pop idol, and becoming Misa's husband was one way of gaining unrestricted access.

Being L, there were other ways he could have gained that access, but becoming Misa's husband had additional benefits. If by chance Misa had passed on the second notebook to a family member or friend, or if any of those people had crucial clues, it would be easier to investigate them while posing as Misa's husband. If Misa woke up and challenged it, L could always tell those friends and family members that the brain damage must have destroyed her memory of the event.

Then, L checked on the media to see what had been leaked since the shooting event. Statements from the helicopter medics had been taken, about how Hideki Ryuga the pop idol had been found restrained in bondage equipment near Misa's unconscious body while the other Hideki Ryuga was loose but in shackles, still cross-dressing. Shortly after, Hideki Ryuga the pop idol had threatened to kill himself and leapt into the helicopter blades.

The media was presenting it as a possible love-induced attempted double suicide. Misa had tried to kill herself for cheating on one Hideki Ryuga with another Hideki Ryuga, but the pop idol hadn't been able to stand the thought of surviving without her and had tried to off himself as well. The real Hideki Ryuga was still in surgery. They were attempting to re-attach his severed arm. L knew the guy wouldn't say anything about what had really been happening. Hideki couldn't tell outsiders about his houseguests, no matter how badly he wanted to.

However, there had been a leak from the police who had arrived on the scene. L knew that none of the medics had seen Watari, but the media had the description of yet another man, an old one, restrained in the same kind of bondage gear, who had requested not to be let loose when he was approached. There was a lot of speculation about why Misa was so kinky and sexually voracious that she needed four bondage boyfriends, including an old man, and even more speculation about why she'd left a trail of suicidal acts, one successful, two unsuccessful. A movie production company had already released a statement that it would be unlikely to hire Misa Amane in the future. Her image as a sugary-sweet innocent pop idol had been ruined.

It was understandable that a police leak had occurred. There had been many cops on the scene, and their sheer numbers would give boldness to any who decided to leak information. Also, they had been called to a celebrity's mansion to investigate a shooting. Any cops who wanted to leak information would be especially likely to go on such a mission in the first place. The police leak didn't really matter since they didn't have Watari's photo. The information they had publicized wouldn't compromise the Kira investigation or L's ability to do detective work in the future.

Next, L reserved a suite at an expensive hotel near the hospital where Misa was staying. He used their concierge service to order some baggy clothing of the type he liked, along with large sunglasses, a hat, and a coat with a collar that could be turned up high. The paparazzi would likely be lurking about the hospital entrances, and L didn't want the media to ever obtain even one clear photo of his face. So far, they had the weird-angle grainy cellphone photo where a large blindfold partially obscured his face, and photos of himself with his t-shirt pulled up over his nose, so only his eyes stuck out. Even though nobody should realize "Hideki Ryuga" was actually L, it was best to prevent any good photos from being taken.

L soon arrived at the fancy hotel, rushed up to his suite and dressed himself in the clothing that had been left there by the concierge. As he came back down and got into the limo once more, his stomach was beginning to tie into knots. He wanted to throw up. Something deep inside felt absolutely sick at the prospect of seeing Misa. L curled into his usual crouch on the backseat and shook. He wanted to run for it, to hide, to immerse himself completely in the mental exercise of solving cases and never, ever go into Misa's presence again.

He laughed bitterly to himself as he thought that, ironically, Misa was now his wife. Except, not really. It was a sham marriage, and even if accepted as genuine in some way, Misa wasn't married to L Lawliet but to a nonexistent Hideki Ryuga. L Lawliet was still a single man, even though he would introduce himself as Misa's husband under his fake name.

When the limo stopped in front of the hospital, L had to take a few minutes to gather himself together, to remind himself that he was L, that he was a brave and bold person, and that he could certainly handle a hospital visit to a Kira who was no longer a real threat. When the shaking stopped, and he felt in control of himself, he scanned the outside for paparazzi, turned up the collar of his coat, opened the limo door, and jumped out.

His heart beating like crazy, he began walking toward the front entrance of the hospital where he would see his former captor under very different circumstances, and would perhaps need to convincingly reassure Rem he wasn't a threat so she would believe in his good intentions and wouldn't suddenly freak out and kill him at some point in the future. Unfortunately, he'd probably need to visit often and display some loving behavior toward Misa to keep Rem reassured.

L breathed in and out, in and out, counting his breaths and carefully calming himself. Then he walked toward the front doors and they automatically slid open to admit him. He checked in at the front desk and obtained the necessary clearances to visit Misa. Then, while he was walking down the hallway that her room was located on, someone suddenly grabbed him from behind in a way that pinned both arms and pulled him into a room.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, someone decided to grab L. I just love ending chapters on cliffhangers.

And, L's married to Misa. Sort of. In the most unromantic imaginable way. And, he's having emotional problems connected with her, but his inner strength and determination is helping him.

Will Matt arrive in the next chapter? If so, I think this will be one of only a very few fics that have Matt with no sign of Near or Mello. I bet they'll both be jealous like crazy.


	16. Visit

**CHAPTER 16: Visit**

L couldn't move his arms, but his attacker was holding him in such a way that it wouldn't be too difficult to kick. L waited a couple of seconds, puffing himself up with air, then suddenly let out his breath and used the slight slack to slip a bit inside the attacker's grasp and kick backwards. L still couldn't see what he was doing, but his guessed aim was good and he felt the upward jab of his heel slip between thighs and connect hard with someone's crotch. At the same moment the guy let go and L heard cursing in Italian.

L spun around to see Aiber, curled on the floor in agony. Aiber's movements dislodged a mop from the small janitorial room they were in, and L neatly caught the mop, holding it as a weapon, watching for any danger. In a couple more seconds, Aiber gasped, "Ryuzaki, don't hurt me."

L said, "Explain yourself."

"I can't seem to say things directly, but I'll do my best. I've been trying to go somewhere and do something..."

Aiber held open his coat, revealing a gun nestled in an inside pocket.

"...but I can't seem to do it. I've been to a certain place twelve times already, and each time I just leave without accomplishing my objective."

L said, "I do not know what Misa wrote for you, but I'm guessing you are prevented from mentioning what you know or what you've been doing so that you can't give evidence to investigators, and you have probably been prevented from hurting anyone. You couldn't have been ordered to specifically avoid harming Misa, because the notebook doesn't work like that. The question is why you are still alive. Do you have any ideas?"

Aiber said, "It's because... because... there is this thing... I mean, there's something I am doing, was doing... Oh shit! Why can't I say a damn thing?"

Aiber's eyes were blazing with anger, and he suddenly pulled the gun out and held it for L to take, saying, "You! Can you do it? Do you still have a will of your own?"

L's eyes fastened on the gun, and for one second he wanted to take it, rush to Misa's room and be done with her forever, no matter what the consequences were. The next moment, he felt sick. Misa was possibly carrying his child, and she needed to be put on trial, convicted, and punished by the justice system, not face a vigilante execution. No, even if it were a good idea to kill Misa, this wouldn't be the way, for a whole bunch of reasons.

A living Misa was probably the only reason Rem hadn't killed him yet, and sending untraceable attackers to threaten a living Misa was also the only way to test Rem for that crucial shinigami weakness. Misa needed to stay alive at least long enough to set up an unsuspicious test of that sort, and that would take time. And, even if L did want to kill Misa right away, the best way to do it would be to secretly poison her, not rush in with a gun.

L said, "Aiber, you are interfering with my plans. You need to trust me that this will all work out. I cannot allow you to participate in the investigation or know anything about it because you might be being controlled into leaving reports where Misa or the newest Kira will obtain them."

Aiber said, "I want to help. Can't you find a loophole?"

"Without knowing exactly what was written, I can't be sure that any loophole I might discover is actually safe. You are too dangerous to have around. Please understand."

L knew his life hinged on Rem not being too suspicious. If Rem thought he was plotting against Misa, it was all over. Aiber was a good guy, but his free will had been impaired and he might not be able to stop himself from leaking secrets. He couldn't be allowed to know anything about what was really going on. Furthermore, even if Aiber could be trusted, now was not the time to tell him anything. Rem was lurking somewhere nearby, and even though she wasn't evident in this janitorial storage room, there was no telling what could be heard through the walls or the door, and she might be just on the other side of any of them.

Gently, L said, "Aiber, other people will take care of this issue now. You have less than twenty-three days of life, perhaps much less. Your wife and son deserve to spend that time with you. Are you able to go home? Are you controlled to stay in Japan?"

"I don't know. I haven't tried."

"I would like to put you into protective custody and bring your family to Japan to stay with you. I will also ask Rem about your death. If it is disgusting or painful I can take measures so it reverts to a heart attack instead."

L got out Hideki Ryuga's cellphone. "May I call the police to take you into custody now?"

Aiber said, "Why do you think you can trust the shinigami? Is that child yours? Did you betray us? Even before the attack?"

L saw the hurt and anger in Aiber's eyes, and felt sick that he couldn't just explain everything, but Rem could be listening.

L said, "Aiber, I can't tell you anything. But, I would never betray the investigation team. You must believe me."

L realized the mop he held was trembling when he saw Aiber's gaze drawn to it and then soften.

Aiber sighed and sat up on the floor, then slowly and gingerly got to his feet. He said, "I wish I could do something. I feel so... so... I don't like it. I'm not useless!"

Aiber rolled the gun around in his palm thoughtfully. "I hate guns, and look at what I'm doing! I'm already essentially dead, with nothing to lose, and I got this, and I still can't do it. I'm so goddamn close, and I can't do it!"

L put down the mop, placed one of his hands on Aiber's shoulder and said, "It isn't your fault. You've been forced into this."

Aiber nodded, his eyes downcast.

L said, "Shall I call? I'll put you in VIP protective custody. That usually means a very nice, expensive house in a secluded area. You can tell your family it is a vacation if you wish. I'm afraid I'll probably have to leave guards with you at all times, unless I can find the other notebook and see exactly what is written. I do not trust the shinigami to tell me the truth."

"It's so unfair. But, yes, I'll let you do that. I suppose there's nothing else to do."

Aiber rubbed his face, looking incredibly tired and worn out. L felt like he was truly betraying Aiber as he called the police and had Aiber put into protective custody, and then made arrangements for Aiber's family to join him. L made sure there would be guards who had been instructed that Aiber was harmless but insane and should be prevented from escaping or self-harm, and that any erratic behavior should immediately be reported to a special phone number. Within twenty minutes, the police came and went, and everything had been set up. Only then did L continue his journey down the hallway toward Misa's room. He felt like ages had passed in the meantime.

With every step, he felt more of a sick, jittery adrenaline rush. L felt like he'd be happy if he could just never see Misa or Rem again, but he had to talk to Rem, and he had to display at least a bit of loving behavior toward Misa in front of Rem. L put a worried expression on his face as he stepped into the room.

The first thing he saw was Misa's sister sitting in a chair, looking completely despondent, with red-rimmed eyes. He already knew all about her and had seen her photo, because he'd compiled enormous amounts of information on Misa during his investigation of the second Kira. L knew a lot of information, perhaps more than Misa knew, about even her passing acquaintances and distant relatives.

Misa's sister was three years older, an alcoholic, and she tended to drift from job to job. Nevertheless, she looked more respectable than Misa. She had long black hair, and a body build similar to Misa but with a distinctly longer face and sharper nose. Furthermore, she had a completely different taste in clothing, looking more like business attire. There wasn't a hint of the gothic lolita style about her.

L ignored the stare Misa's sister was giving him, and instead shed his coat, hat and oversized sunglasses into an empty chair on his way to Misa's side, his eyes at first on Rem's worried form, hovering over Misa, and then on Misa's unconscious body. Wires and tubes monitored her vital signs and fed her oxygen, nutrients and medicine. But it was her eyes that drew L's attention.

Misa's eyes were open, and the eyeballs were sunk just a bit back into the sockets, with pools of tears collected in the depressions formed that way. Her eyes were dead, so dead, like corpse eyes. It was like the experience of buying whole fish in the market and seeing the fish-eyes sitting there, not looking in any direction, not looking at all.

L gently and delicately pulled each eyelid down, closing her eyes, but the image was still haunting him, burned into his brain. He swallowed, and let his gaze roam over the rest of her body. She looked tinier than ever, and very, very pale. If not for the machine showing the rhythm of her heartbeat and for the slight rise and fall of her chest, L might suppose her to be a corpse. L felt guilty, as if all of this were his fault instead of self-inflicted, as if Misa were an innocent instead of a mass-murderer. But, it wasn't like that at all! He'd given her a choice.

She could have tried to carry on as Kira after giving him a clean death, or she could have opted to let him help her hide, at least for a time. Did she expect betrayal? Is that why she chose a horrendous third option? Or, was it the thought of all those innocent people she'd killed, the kids who would lose their parents, all those deaths for no reason at all since she couldn't continue as Kira any more? In any case, L had to admit, Misa had somehow outsmarted him. He'd tried to put her in a situation with only two options, and she'd defiantly created a third option. It was a crazy, tragic third option, but it still wasn't anything he'd planned for.

L was broken out of his thoughts by hands on his shoulders, hands that made his skin crawl as he jumped back instinctively. The touch was familiar. It felt like _her_ hands. He blinked up in a panic at Misa's sister. She looked angry.

She said, "Can't you hear when people talk to you? I asked you if you're that guy, if you made her do this. Did you?"

L made a polite little bow and said, "I apologize. I'm Hideki Ryuga, Misa's husband."

Misa's sister let out a shocked gasp. Her mouth opened and closed several times without anything coming out, though she looked like she desperately wanted to say something.

L said, "We married three months ago, and Misa asked me to keep it a secret. I do not see the point in concealing it from her family now. I assume you are her sister? Yumiko Amane?"

Yumiko said, "Yes. What is going on? Are you really her husband?"

"I am. Misa shot herself. I do not know why. I am sorry."

Yumiko's eyes looked terribly betrayed and angry. She suddenly dropped to one knee and yanked up one leg of L's baggy jeans. L jumped back, out of her reach. He didn't want to be touched, especially by someone who reminded him of Misa.

Yumiko said, "Needle marks, just as the articles said. You're a drug addict, and you're corrupting Misa! You and that other druggie who killed himself! Maybe you even shot her!"

"I don't take drugs. Those marks are from bee sting therapy. I need it for my scoliosis. I would never hurt Misa."

Yumiko screamed, "You're lying! Misa was never like this before three months ago! Suddenly, it's drugs, and suicides, and all this weird stuff. Misa wouldn't be like this! It's all your fault! You took a sweet girl who was mourning her parents' deaths and did all this to her! You took advantage of my sister!"

Yumiko was advancing, her fists held up, and L didn't want to hit her but he couldn't stand to be touched by the woman one more time, and he didn't know where to go. Suddenly, he ducked down, slithered under the bed and popped up on the other side, retreating toward the exit. He looked at Rem and said, "We need to talk."

Rem was completely oblivious, still hovering over Misa.

Yumiko said, "Nothing you can say will change my mind."

L waved his arms and yelled, "I really need to talk with you!"

Rem was still oblivious.

L said, "Let's go to the men's room and talk about Misa."

At that, Rem's head snapped up and looked at L as Yumiko said, "You pervert! How many men did you whore out my sister to? And now you proposition me?"

L said, "Excuse me, but I need to talk to my hallucination."

As L quickly retreated, he grabbed up his hat, coat and sunglasses on the way out of the room. Yumiko and Rem both pursued him, but Yumiko stopped at the entrance to the men's room. L ducked inside, his heart pounding in his chest. Yumiko really scared him. He opened every stall, finding them all empty, then retreated to the wall furthest from the entrance and said, "I'll whisper. For Misa's sake, we need a lot of secrecy. Come close."

Rem positioned one ear right by his mouth.

L whispered, "Aiber was coming here to kill Misa. I stopped him and had him arrested. Guards are watching him now."

Rem said, "He is not a threat. He is unable to harm anyone."

"How long does he have to live? What is his death? Will he do anything disgusting first, like masturbate in public and then cut off his own penis?"

"No, nothing like that. He has fifteen days to live. He'll die of a brain aneurysm. He is your friend, isn't he?"

L whispered, "Yes. I want to spare him as much pain as I can. Rem, we need to protect Misa. I know there is a new Kira. If the new Kira knows Misa's identity, or even suspects it, Misa could die at any time."

L almost held his breath. Rem must know the truth, and this part of the Kira case could be solved very quickly if she decided to cooperate.

Rem said, "This new Kira does not know Misa's face or name. There is no danger. Also, if the criminal deaths continue while Misa is obviously unable to kill, then when she wakes up she will be less likely to ever be a Kira suspect again."

L whispered, "The other investigators know there are at least two notebooks. This will prove nothing."

"It will prove nothing, but it will still help Misa seem innocent. There is no conclusive evidence on Misa except what you know. I do not care if you pursue this new Kira, or even catch this Kira, but I will not help you. I want you to arrange it so that Higuchi and this new Kira share the blame and no accusations ever stick to Misa. Even implicating Light Yagami as Kira is a bad thing, since that trail might lead to Misa."

"I will do my best, for my wife and child. How often do you want me to report on my progress?"

"Once a week, unless there is a breakthrough. Then report immediately."

"Are you able to go as far as the street outside this hospital?"

"Yes."

"Then, when you need a report, or when I'm visiting Misa and I try to catch your attention, follow me back to my car at the end of my visit so I can report to you."

With that, Rem phased through the wall and left L alone. He tried to exit the restroom, but found an angry Yumiko there every time he attempted it, with her fists ready and looking like she was about to punch. He knew he could easily win a fight and hurt her badly enough that she wouldn't bother him again, but he also knew he might need to be on her good side, as much as possible, in order to investigate her for possible clues later. So, he allowed her to trap him in the bathroom until she got bored and left, nearly an hour later.

L quickly found some doctors to advise him on Misa's condition and made sure they'd perform a pregnancy test. The doctors all had conflicting opinions about how likely Misa was to survive, along with how likely she was to wake up from her coma. L knew it would take a few days for the doctor's opinions to come more into alignment with each other, and even once the doctors agreed with each other, the chances might very well fluctuate quite a bit for the first week or two. In these cases, a lot of things only became apparent with time.

Before L had finished talking with the doctors, he received a call from Watari, reporting that a new headquarters had been purchased and stocked with furniture, computers and office equipment. It was ready for L whenever he wished. L did not feel like facing the others yet, so he left the hospital and stopped nearby at the fancy hotel where he'd previously reserved a suite merely for the concierge service to get him the clothing he needed. He felt like being alone. He hadn't been alone and free for a long time, and extremely nice hotel suites felt like home to him. He could conduct most of his cases from anywhere in the world, but in those few cases where he had felt a need to be near the scene, he quite often lived in hotel suites for weeks.

He entered the room, kicking off his shoes and sinking his bare toes into the carpet, and then throwing down his hat, sunglasses and coat. He inhaled. It smelled like clean, fresh fabric, like home. He made his way to a window, one that was three times as high as he was tall, and opened the curtains. He leaned against the cool glass, looking out at the black sky with stars twinkling in it above, and the similar landscape below, the cityscape of blackness punctuated by many lights of various colors, some stationary, some moving.

He remembered a night like this, about a year ago, in a similar hotel, leaning against a window and watching the world, thinking about how he was inexorably drawing Kira toward him, how their paths must collide. That self he'd been then, and that night, seemed so far away and long ago, yet he also felt very close to that moment. He'd come full circle, with two Kiras dead, another Kira partially neutralized and a new, unknown Kira out there somewhere. L sincerely hoped he'd see a true end to the Kira case. If Kiras endlessly spawned, one after another, that would be his worst nightmare.

Well, if he'd known the killings were done with a magic notebook back when he'd first developed a list of suspects, he could have solved the Kira case within a week at most. All it would have taken was a bunch of really diligent surprise searches. It was what you didn't know in a case that always made for the hardest parts. Now, knowing how Kira killed, and furthermore being able to see Ryuk, it should be easy.

L knew he just needed to develop a manageable list of suspects. Even a list that was a few thousand long would be doable. He could just check them all and see if Ryuk followed any. It might end up being very tedious, but the new Kira would certainly be caught eventually. L knew he had the stamina and endurance for such tasks. He could go on stakeouts that lasted 24/7 if he needed to. He'd trained himself to be able to run on little sleep and he could pay attention and focus on minute, subtle clues among vast amounts of meaningless nonsense, in ways that few other investigators could. Yes, the new Kira was doomed. He or she just didn't know it yet.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Will Misa wake up from her coma? And, if so, what will she say or do?

Misa's sister is a canon, manga-only character who is unnamed and never actually appears (Aiber and Misa discuss her at the meeting where Misa meets the Yotsuba group). There is pretty much no information about her other than that she exists, so I had to make up a bunch of stuff. I figured someone as crazy as Misa probably came from a screwed-up family, so an alcoholic, belligerent sister would be suitable.

Although, Yumiko has good reasons to be angry at L and to think he's responsible for the entire shitstorm that just happened. Plus, when family members are badly injured, just about everyone is less rational and prone to outbursts.

Also, we're still doing the is-Misa-pregnant-or-not cliffhanger, but that will resolve very soon. So will the is-Matt-joining-the-team-or-not question that I had thought would be answered in this chapter, but it ended up being long so I broke it off here at a natural ending-point.


	17. New Place

**CHAPTER 17: New Place**

L decided he didn't want to go to the new headquarters yet. There was something very comforting about being alone in this hotel suite. He found himself wandering across the thick carpeting on his bare feet, toes sinking in luxuriously. He jumped onto the bed, sliding across at an angle, and stretched out his arms and legs as far as he could, loving the feeling of being out of the restraints, being free, being a person who could make his own decisions about where to go and when. Suddenly, he was struck by memories of being in a bed without restraints, at Hideki Ryuga's place, with Misa, the last time they had...

He curled up, trying to push out those memories, trying to make the bed into his own territory again, make it into something that had nothing to do with Misa or with all the horribleness and the scheming that had gone on between them. He pushed at those thoughts, trying to clear his mind, but they just wouldn't go away. He felt dirty. He'd gotten rid of Misa's blood during the rudimentary cleaning hours earlier that had immediately preceded getting dressed in Hideki Ryuga's clothing, but it felt like some kind of phantom blood was still on him. He could almost sense the cloying stickiness of it, almost smell the disgusting scent.

L abandoned the bed and ran to the bathroom. It was an old-style Japanese bathing and showering room, with the entire floor being a tiled draining surface, so you could actually walk around wherever you wanted and spray yourself with the flexible showerhead on the end of a hose, though normally you were supposed to sit on a short stool while showering and clean yourself that way. The tub was extra large, and was primarily for soaking and rinsing after your shower. One entire wall was a gigantic mirror. L thought that he looked very tired, very worn out. He needed this. It was perfect.

He shed all his clothing and sat on the little plastic stool, almost absurdly short, while he took the soap from a container on the wall and scrubbed himself all over. It took three sessions of completely covering his body with suds and then rinsing it clean with the showerhead before he felt even slightly clean.

He looked at his image in the mirror-wall, trying to consider whether to go for a fourth time. The marks he most wanted to get rid of wouldn't wash off. Fading hickies covered his neck, and healing bee-stings and some razor slashes covered his legs. His eyes looked deeper, wider and more like black pools than he had ever remembered seeing them. His facial expression didn't quite seem like himself either, not like the face he was used to seeing.

No, continuing to wash endlessly was illogical; it would just turn into yet another obsessive-compulsive activity if he weren't careful. L made his way over to the bath. It had already been filled by hotel employees, in the traditional Japanese style of letting bathwater sit all day. There were heaters in the floor underneath, and as he stepped in, he could feel the warmth soaking upward. The expansive, roomy tub and warm water relaxed his muscles, began drawing out the aches, and as he lay there and lost track of time, it felt as if his soul was getting a little cleaner too.

When he finally stepped out of the bath, his skin felt weird, super-relaxed, almost rubbery, and the cold air of stepping out of the bathroom felt enormously invigorating. He enjoyed it for a few moments, not even drying himself with the fluffy towels he'd snagged for that purpose, simply dripping onto the carpet, his skin super-heated from the long soak. Then he began rubbing himself dry with the towels. When he'd almost finished the procedure, he found himself getting aroused.

L looked down at his erection; it was continuing to harden even as he watched it. Immense confusion surged through him along with weird emotions he couldn't even put a name to. He hadn't masturbated since before Misa had taken him prisoner. His hands hadn't been free, and besides her sexual schedule had been relentless most of the time, usually more than once a day. She'd drained him enough that he hadn't even had a wet dream in all that time. For the last 25 days, Misa had caused every single orgasm he'd had. Misa had... said she owned him sexually... and she'd made it true. It hadn't been a lie. She'd owned his body, every drop of his semen, just as she'd said. Her claim had been true... but... it had to change; he had to prove it was different now.

L sat on the floor and reached forward toward his erection. His movements were tentative. It felt... wrong, disobedient. No, this was his; it was his body, a part of him. L ran one finger gently from the base to the tip, feeling a little shiver working through him. It wasn't just sexual stimulation, it was something else. There was anger there, and a deliciously naughty thrill, like the feeling he'd had trespassing onto private property as a child, and... jealousy? What... who was there to be jealous of? There were other emotions there too, even deeper and more hidden, layers enclosed within layers, like an onion. L felt like he shouldn't think about them too much. If the depths were stirred too soon, he'd lose his composure, lose the ground he'd gained so far. It wouldn't be good. He might not function that well.

L concentrated on the surface emotions and continued running his fingers up and down his length with teasing strokes until he was panting and trembling from desire. Then he looked around the room, located some hand lotion on a bedside table, got it and settled again onto the floor, squirting a generous amount into his palm. Wet friction was always a better way to do this. For a moment, a memory of Misa spreading ointment on him popped into his mind, but he successfully banished it.

He took a deep breath and began stroking himself hard with both hands at once. He usually closed his eyes, but he felt a strong need to watch himself do this, maybe to prove that it was real. He watched his hands move up and down his sensitive, engorged erection. Every bit of sliding pressure was so delicious, and it was him, him doing this to himself, him in control. He could stop any time he wanted, but he didn't want to stop, it was good, it felt so good. He craved it with a mindless, instinctual need. His panting increased and he let out a little whimpering cry.

His mind filled with the pleasure. There was nothing else, only the sliding movement bringing him closer and closer to climax, a hard squeezing and frantic pace, the repetitive movements of his hands almost hypnotic as he stared at them, some of the lotion dripping onto the carpet from between his fingers. Along with the rising, tightening feeling of bliss in his groin, something else was rising too, a kind of anger. He wanted to hurt someone. L didn't resist. He was too tired of trying to separate out mixed emotions and squelching some of them. He allowed both feelings to rise within him at once.

He was shaking. Everything in him was so raw and primal, and as the tension rose to a sharp point, he let out a snarl and then lurched forward on his knees and leaned over, spurting heavy, thick glops of semen onto the carpet, intense pleasure washing through him with each distinct spurt. Stunned, he stared at the design made on the carpet as if hypnotized by it. The anger had come to a peak at the same moment as his climax, and he still felt pleasure and anger running high within him, burning through his veins. He couldn't take his eyes off the cum spread out on the carpet. It was somehow terribly important.

"This is not yours, Misa," he whispered, "you'll never have it again. You took it, but I've taken it back. It's mine now."

L had never been interested in his own semen before. It had just been a mess to clean up, like blowing your nose and throwing away the tissue. But, he couldn't help but reach out a finger and trace through the substance, then hold the finger in front of his eyes, looking at the glistening white drops. He brought his finger to his lips and tasted it, licking it all off. It wasn't good, but it wasn't too bad. Like extremely salty bitter tea with maybe a hint of some taste like walnuts or fish. Then he stared once again at the design splashed onto the carpet, crouched over it.

Suddenly he started laughing. He wanted to leave it just like that, for whoever would clean this suite after he checked out. A mark, unmistakably showing what he'd done. Proof that he owned his own penis, could manipulate it as he wanted, without asking Misa. The laughter wouldn't stop for a while, and it felt insane and angry, but when he'd finished and the laughter died away, he felt cleaner, stronger. He dressed, checked out of the hotel, and then had his limo driver drop him off three blocks away from the address Watari had given him for the new headquarters. All around was a mixed-use business district of consisting mostly of small office buildings with a few scattered warehouses. L walked in the wrong direction for a little while, using various tricks to be sure he wasn't being followed, then doubled back and walked to headquarters.

It was seemingly a warehouse with a few extra stories for offices, and when he first went in the doors, he came into a large, dim space, probably ordinarily filled with pallets of boxes up to the ceiling. At the far wall, there was a little stairway that went up perhaps half a floor and another door. L was halfway to it when Watari's voice came over a speaker and said, "The bottom two floors are empty of anything useful. We're still installing security measures. All of us are on the top floor now."

L said, "I understand," without slackening his pace.

So, this was it, a new headquarters. First, there had been conducting the investigation by moving to a new hotel suite regularly, preventing Kira from attacking a known location. Then, there had been the skyscraper L had built especially for that purpose, the one he'd designed as the ultimate weapon for catching Kira, and it had failed. None of its special features had been really been used, and its highly extensive surveillance system had failed to account for Light and Misa conspiring by whispering into directly into each other's ears on the outside steps.

As L walked up the stairway to the next door and through it, he couldn't help but think of all the things that had happened in the old headquarters. There had been a time when his suspicion of Light being Kira had been low, and they'd almost been friends. Almost. He'd never trusted Light. Well, he trusted almost nobody in any case, but he'd been certain that Light had been Kira at one time and then L had no idea how or when the Kira-mind might return. The process of how Kira had been removed from Light was a total mystery, and at one point L had been almost convinced that some third party moved the power from person to person, and that Light and Misa had both probably been victims of some kind, or Light at least, since he wasn't a Kira supporter in his innocent state.

Misa had only changed by suddenly having different motivations and no longer denying certain events, but the change in Light had been like a personality transplant, like someone else entirely had replaced him. Yet, L was able to see the connecting elements, the inherent personality flaws that could turn a justice-obsessed teenager into a ruthless serial killer, if faced with exactly the right circumstances.

L had seen it before, had studied the process of corruption in those who saw their evil acts as necessary and right. Yet, Light had been purer than the vast majority of serial killers. If Light had been faced with a similar situation where he came into a lot of power, with the difference that Light would have needed to kill in person like a normal serial killer did, then Light probably wouldn't have done it. He was too prim and proper, too squeamish, to kill directly. The death note was perhaps the only corrupting influence that could easily turn Light Yagami into a serial killer.

Still, there was something in L that wished to once again see that innocent version of Light, the almost-friend who had been chained to him and shared his every moment for so long. L rubbed his right wrist, the one where the handcuff had always been connected, while he walked down a barely-lit hallway and onto a dingy-looking freight elevator, a kind of cage surrounded by criss-cross bars of black metal. An image came into his mind of Light on the end of that chain, his eyes so round and innocent, his face intent with the desire to help, the blissfully unaware desire to hunt down Kira.

Then, as the elevator rose, L was suddenly envisioning Light during those last minutes of his life, and his stomach clenched violently. So much blood and vomit, those horrid red bubbles, the terrified regret in Light's eyes once the point of no return had passed...

 _No! No! Not this!_

L stared at the floor, at the patterns of grain in the rough wooden floorboards. He allowed his mind to be filled by those patterns, tracing the subtle curves of the wood with his eyes, noting the knots where everything came together in little concentric circles. His mind detached from the disturbing visions and he let them float away, to be replaced by thoughts of the wooden floor, and then his mind was reaching ahead to all the things he must do, the errands to run, the countless little details that would fill his time and keep him blissfully occupied until the next Kira was caught.

He pulled himself together, breathed deeply, and stepped off the elevator on the top floor. It was a large low-ceilinged room with many cubicles and desks piled in one corner, while new furniture and special computer equipment had been installed at one end in a massive array of wires and monitors. The furthest wall had a number of doors that looked as if they led to conference rooms and individual offices for important people. L started walking toward them, and Watari came out of one door.

Watari said, "All our bedrooms are along this back hallway. We have more prepared than we need, so you may choose any except the one Wedy is already occupying. I'm afraid we don't have individual bathrooms, just the communal men's room and women's room in this hallway, but we can get some built soon. Or, if you want to move your bedroom and occupy a floor by yourself, you'd have two bathrooms to yourself. The only showers are in the basement locker rooms, but I'll have more suitable facilities installed soon."

L nodded and said, "You've done an excellent job, Watari, especially for just a few hours of work."

Then L gave Watari an account of everything that had been done with Aiber and the small amount of information he'd gained from Rem, basically nothing more than an admission that there was a new Kira and Rem would do nothing to either help or inhibit the search. He left out everything about Misa except that he'd faked a marriage with her for the possibility of later investigating her relatives for clues and that she was still unconscious with a fluctuating chance for survival.

L didn't mention the pregnancy test he'd ordered the doctors to perform. That would probably require an explanation, and L hadn't quite decided how much to say or when. It could wait. It wasn't the most urgent issue. The result might not be in yet, anyway. Hospital tests were more accurate than store-bought tests but took longer, and he'd asked for it late enough in the day that it might have been shunted to the list of tasks for the next morning.

Then, Watari went into detail on all the tasks he'd been working on in the meantime. There had been arranging for Matt to arrive around noon the next day and taking care of many things to do with setting up the new headquarters, along with coordinating with Wedy to search Misa's entire apartment for clues and install a tap on the phone along with microphones and video cameras everywhere just in case the new Kira might try to call or visit Misa. It was a low chance, but worth trying. So far, every call that had come to Misa's home phone or cellphones had been business contacts, the media, or friends and family members. Most of the contents of Misa's apartment had already been moved to a room downstairs, for later detailed searching for any clues.

Then, L checked the available bedrooms and chose the one he thought had the softest mattress, wrapping himself up in the covers and quickly sinking into an exhausted sleep. Just before he slipped into unconsciousness, he felt grateful to Misa for letting him sleep in a bed, and then reminded himself that she had nothing to do with it this time.

L woke up in the middle of the night screaming. He'd tangled himself tightly in his blankets, and it felt like the straightjacket, and he could have sworn the bees were crawling up his legs, about to sting, and through it all there was the feeling of _her_ hands, roaming over him possessively.

L thrashed helplessly, then lurched free of the worst of the tightness, stood up on the bed and unwound the blankets, throwing them against the wall with another scream. In that same instant, Watari entered the room, saying, "Ryuzaki, what's wrong?"

L knew he needed to tell Watari, to have a talk about what had happened. A very difficult talk. It couldn't be delayed. Some of it would come out soon anyway, or else there would be questions he couldn't answer and the truth would be easily guessed. It was almost too horrible to say, even to Watari, the man who knew most of his secrets and had been his constant companion for so many years.

L crouched on the side of the bed, pulling his knees tightly to his chest with trembling hands.

He started out by saying, "She was... she was... sexually abusing me."

Then he was silent as he turned the issue over and over in his mind. It was certainly sexual abuse, but was it rape? He'd tried to convince himself it wasn't, but, he'd never been given a real choice except with the second half of that hand job in the very beginning. She'd coerced him into sex using death threats and the implied threat of worse torture if he didn't cooperate. L hadn't said "no" but he'd been placed in a situation where he was afraid of the consequences of saying it. If saying "no" didn't feel safe, then consent hadn't truly been given.

By deciding he'd let Misa do what she wanted sexually, he'd tried to use the power of his mind to turn it into something other than rape, but if it were that easy to avert such a thing, then nobody would get raped. Yes, it had to be rape. It fit the definition, and being in denial didn't change anything. If the death threats had ever disappeared, L would have run away without a second thought. He would not have returned in order to fuck Misa some more.

L was trembling more strongly, and he couldn't look Watari in the eyes. He had to say it, get it out in the open.

L looked at the wall, and in a very quiet voice he said, "She raped me, repeatedly, and she claimed to be pregnant with my child."

Then Watari was closing the distance between them, reaching out. L didn't want to be touched; he didn't want anyone to ever touch him again. But, before he could say anything, Watari had bent down and enfolded L in a gentle hug, and it felt very good, not at all like _her_ gentle hugs. L leaned his head against Watari's shoulder. L's face was wet. He reached up and his fingers danced across tears flowing in multiple tracks down each cheek. The two of them stayed that way for a long time, until L was done crying and had wiped all his tears away with the edge of his sleeve.

When Watari drew away, L was businesslike again.

L said, "I have already asked for a pregnancy test. We should know in the morning if she was telling the truth or not."

Watari asked, "What do you intend to do?"

L was silent. No thoughts were entering his head. At last he said, "I don't know. I need to think more."

Watari said, "You should try to decide soon. The longer you wait, the more likely it is there will be questions and consequences."

L said, "It has been a very long and tiring day. I will think better in the morning."

Watari very gently said, "The worst torture I had was when a mission went sour; we walked into a trap set up by a mole, and half my division was captured. We could all see what went on in each other's cells. In addition to the regularly scheduled torture by our captors, the guards were cruel to us for their own amusement. Three of the men were considered good-looking and the guards raped them. Every night they passed by me, and I breathed a sigh of relief that the guards only put shit in my food and didn't rape me. The one man who was raped by a female guard had a more difficult time than the others, and he killed himself a few years later."

L said, "I will never kill myself over this. I want to live very badly, or I would have never have made it this far."

Watari said, "Mental wounds need care just as much as physical wounds. I think you should go back to therapy."

"No," L said, "I'm strong enough to handle this."

L didn't say his real reasons, but he knew Watari remembered their previous arguments on the subject well and would realize it was pointless to restart them. The problem with therapists was that all techniques of therapy relied on the idea that the patient wasn't vastly intelligent. If the patient was far smarter than the therapist and knew where everything was going several steps before it got there, it just turned into an exercise in being fake and hearing your own words reflected back at you, with no progress whatsoever. It was maddening to sit there and have someone tell you things you already knew and lead you by the nose through little steps that you were perfectly capable of figuring out for yourself.

Watari leaned down and drew his arms around L again, hugging him close, and said, "Thank you for saving my life. You are a true hero, L."

Watari patted L a few times on the back while hugging him, and then left the room. L sat awake for a long time, but when he did finally sleep, it was deep and peaceful, with no dreams whatsoever.

When L woke up a little after six o'clock in the morning, he immediately began familiarizing himself with the new computer system and the data that had already been loaded onto it. It was a good set-up, but nothing like they'd had at the old headquarters. With time, this one could be improved to match it in everything except for lacking the erased data that had been lost when the building was attacked.

The new data was sparse and mostly consisted of two things: information on Misa, and an attempt to rebuild the database of all Kira-related deaths that had once existed. Since nearly every government in the world attempted to keep records of whom Kira was killing, this was mainly just a process of obtaining already-existing databases from various governmental agencies and weeding out the mistakes along with adding some that only his own team had known about, such as the deaths benefiting Yotsuba.

The process would take a few more days to be complete with the limited personnel they had, but that wasn't an issue because the older deaths weren't important to finding the new Kira. No, the real issue would be studying the new deaths and trying to figure out who Misa might have sent Ryuk's notebook to.

There had already been five deaths that could clearly be attributed to the new Kira, heart failure deaths of new criminals who had been announced after Misa had shot herself. However, since shortly after Light's death, there had also been a large number of heart failure deaths among criminals whose identities and crimes had been known for a long time, but had been passed over by previous Kiras.

They had been avoided by Light because he usually didn't kill minor criminals or major ones he judged to be accidental or highly repentant, and avoided by Higuchi because he was lazy and only killed newly-announced criminals. This new Kira was either reveling in the power by going on a one-time killing spree, or the new Kira had stricter standards than Light for who was allowed to live along with having none of the laziness of Higuchi. That would seem to indicate a more fanatical personality than Light. Which meant a high likelihood of trading for the shinigami eyes, so this opponent was particularly dangerous.

By the time L had finished with those tasks and was about to contact Aiber's guards for a status update, Watari came in wheeling a cart containing hot tea and all sorts of breakfast desserts, and L suddenly remembered about Misa's pregnancy test. His mind had somehow managed to completely steer clear of the subject for more than an hour, ever since he'd woken up.

He contacted the hospital and had to talk to a few different people in order to prove he was a person it was okay to release Misa Amane's sensitive medical information to. It was only a few minutes, but it felt like a very long time and L had to wipe away a bead of sweat running down his forehead. Finally, he was talking to the right doctor, who insisted on first giving him a status update on Misa herself, something he needed anyway, but he wanted to bite his nails off with the waiting.

Misa had for a short time gotten much worse due to brain swelling and an increase in intercranial pressure, but she'd had a shunt installed in her brain and had improved after that. She wasn't conscious, but it wasn't a true coma, but rather "apallic syndrome" or an open-eyed coma. Her eyes kept opening periodically even though they didn't follow anything and she did not respond to touches or whatever was happening around her. There were any number of cognitive disorders that could result from all this, and death was still likely, but Misa's chances of surviving were much greater than other patients with her symptoms simply because of her being only 20 years old.

Then, the doctor described the result of the pregnancy test. Misa was pregnant, and had been so for two or three weeks. L almost dropped the phone, but he kept listening, barely hearing the doctor discuss the various factors affecting Misa's chances of having a miscarriage. Misa was pregnant. Pregnant! He'd expected it, but part of him had always suspected her of lying all along, there had been so many lies, so why should this one be any different? She'd probably gotten pregnant one of the first few times they'd had sex, maybe even the very first time.

L listened to the doctor go back to the subject of Misa's brain injury and discuss all the little details of Misa's symptoms and what they could mean, but he felt numb, almost unable to take it all in. A part of him noted that Wedy had wandered into the room, smoking and drinking coffee at the same time. Everything the doctor described all sounded so uncertain and fluctuating, numbers and probabilities and speculations. As L had thought, it would probably be a couple of weeks until the probabilities for survival and for various types of damage stopped fluctuating. L listened, and made terse little replies, and finally the doctor got to the end of everything and L put the phone away, staring at the floor.

Watari said, "What is the news?"

L replied, "Misa is pregnant."

Wedy said, "That look on your face. Is it yours?"

L didn't have the strength to lie, so he said, "Yes."

Wedy suddenly looked angry, so angry that L took in a sharp breath and thought about hiding under the table.

She said, "I came here because I trusted you! I trusted you not to betray us! How long has this been going on? Is it the real reason you killed Light?"

Every accusation was like a physical blow. First Aiber, then Yumiko, and now Wedy. Everyone thought he was the one who had...

He couldn't even speak, he couldn't say one word, and his hands were clutching his knees so hard it hurt and suddenly he felt like the few bites of donut he'd absently swallowed in the last few minutes were going to come up. He was staring at the floor and his stomach was wrenching. He covered his mouth with one hand and he heaved and tasted the awful sourness in his mouth and felt it dripping between his fingers.

Watari was suddenly standing in the way defensively, using his body as a barrier to block out Wedy.

In a grave voice, Watari said, "Wedy, he's a rape victim."

L couldn't stand having it on his hand, he had to get rid of it, he couldn't wait, not one moment. He wiped his hand on the front of his shirt and then peeled the entire shirt off carefully so the vomit patch never touched him again, then wiped his mouth with the shirt, even the inside, and dropped his shirt on the floor. He could still taste it, so he rinsed out his mouth with tea several times, spitting it into an empty cup. Then he closed his eyes so he couldn't see her face, but he heard the softer tone in her voice when she spoke again.

Wedy said, "I need to know what happened. This is part of the investigation too."

L spun his chair around so his back was to her and in quick, quiet words said, "Misa forced me to obey her in everything, including sexual matters. If I had been disobedient or run away, even if I'd managed to kill her first, the shinigami would have killed me afterwards. The shinigami claims I am only alive now because of Misa's pregnancy and because there is a possibility Misa might love me. I've had to create an illusion of concern and cooperation."

Wedy asked, "Will you be able to act against Misa?"

"Yes, when the time comes. I have some Stockholm Syndrome but it will not stop me. Still, I must not threaten her right away. I need time to set up something that won't cause suspicion in the shinigami, or we'll all die."

Watari said, "Wedy, he is reliable even in the most difficult situations. He has already risked his life multiple times to get this far. If he wanted to elope with Misa he could have done so before this instead of setting up this new investigation."

Wedy hesitated, and L heard the sound of her taking a long drag on her cigarette. Then she said, "You have good points. I'll stay."

L said, "When Matt comes, do not tell him about this. Let him think Light caused her pregnancy."

Wedy agreed, and the three of them briefly discussed the exact story Matt would be told. As the time of Matt's arrival approached, L found himself restless, fussing with his appearance. He considered trying to use concealer on the fading hickies still visible on his neck, but then decided to wear a turtleneck for the first couple of days until the marks faded.

And then, slightly after noon, L found himself waiting on the lowest warehouse floor, the giant empty room, waiting for Matt's arrival. It had been almost exactly two years, since the Christmas before last, and Matt was likely to be at least slightly surprised.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

This chapter answered two cliffhangers, but more will come.

As to the story Watari tells L in this chapter, I made it deliberately vague because I usually don't like characters' backstories to become a big focus in my fics, I like to keep them mysterious. However, I expect that someone who became L's trusted right-hand man and had talents in surveillance and sniping as shown in canon would need to have some kind of colorful background. I envision Watari having been a secret agent at some point, possibly also participating in wars.


	18. Training

**CHAPTER 18: Training**

When the warehouse door opened, Matt stood there, wearing a bulky coat in the December chill and pulling a wheeled suitcase behind him. Matt blinked uncertainly behind yellow-tinted goggles.

L said, "The goggles are new."

Matt stared.

L said, "Do come in. We don't want to have a conversation with the door open."

Matt closed the door and approached more closely, looking L up and down. He said, "You!"

"Have you figured it out yet?"

Matt said, "You're really L, aren't you? You're not Mr. Wammy's nephew? Or, are you both?"

L said, "Mail, we all go by aliases here. You should call me 'Ryuzaki' and call Mr. Wammy 'Watari' for safety's sake. There is one additional investigator here, call her 'Wedy.' Kira could possibly attack this place by installing hidden cameras and microphones. If possible, we want Kira to think the real L is somewhere else and we are merely his employees. Do not talk about your origins or past either."

Matt's eyes widened at the use of his real name. Now he must have no doubt he was truly speaking to L.

L said, "From your reaction, I'm guessing that Mello didn't tell."

Matt said, "No, we thought he'd met L, because Mello kept dropping hints, but he never said anything to make us think it might be you."

"Good. That's a point in his favor."

Matt said, "I didn't think Mr. Wammy was Watari either. I figured you just hired a string of random guys to be your link to Interpol."

"Sometimes I do it that way. Now, aliases only, please. I want it to become a habit."

"Okay, Ryuzaki."

L turned and began the trek to the other side of the giant storage room, where that half-flight of stairs would take him to a hallway and then the elevator. He turned at the bottom of the stairway to help Matt with his wheeled suitcase, but Matt was having no problem.

Matt said, "This is like the best Christmas present ever. I'm sorry Mello couldn't be here. He'll be so mad that I got to come by myself. Near probably will be too, but he'll pretend it doesn't matter. I wish they'd just calm down."

"You don't care much about being my successor, do you?"

"It's obvious it'll be one of them. Why should I stress out over something that won't happen?"

L said, "It is not always someone who wants something the most who achieves it. Wanting something too much can be an obstacle to getting it. Many criminals became criminals by having too much focus on a goal. Kira, for example."

Matt was silent then for the rest of the trip to the top floor, thinking and taking in his surroundings. He seemed so normal compared to the other two. L wondered what the world would make of Matt if Matt became the next L. The process would be hidden, of course, but law enforcement agencies had known L long enough to recognize a certain personality, and Matt's style was different. They'd probably put it down to a mid-life crisis or something like that.

When they reached the top floor and entered the large low-ceilinged room that was the main investigation room for now, Matt threw his winter coat on a table and immediately walked right past Wedy and Watari with a casual wave. He went directly to the computers and began looking them over.

While he was busy, Wedy and Watari came close to watch.

After a few moments, Wedy said, "This is Matt? He looks twelve."

Matt said, "Hey! I'm almost fifteen."

After a few more moments, Matt said, "This is it? I thought you'd have a better system."

L said, "The old headquarters was attacked and nearly everyone who worked there died or is presently dying. We've been at this location for less than a day. I would like you to help build our new system, but first there are some other things we need you for."

L typed at a keyboard and brought up photos of Light, Misa and Higuchi on the largest screen.

L said, "The world thinks there are two Kiras, but there have been three and there is now an unknown fourth. Both of the men, Light Yagami and Kyosuke Higuchi, are now dead. The woman, Misa Amane, is still alive but severely injured and it is not certain if she will live."

Matt said, "Wow, Misa is pretty cute for a murderer. She looks fifteen."

"She is a professional model and a pop idol here in Japan. If she doesn't die, Misa will soon turn twenty-one."

Matt said, "What happened to the Kiras?"

"Light killed Higuchi, I killed Light, and Misa tried to commit suicide. The dead Kiras are largely irrelevant now, but the computers are full of information about Misa."

L paused and settled into a chair, then said, "Matt, from the information that is publicly available on Kira, what have you and your friends deduced?"

"Well, I've hacked into the files of some of the major anti-Kira groups and also those of other investigators, so I got some of their ideas before I thought of my own. And, I've heard Mello and Near discussing it a lot."

"Tell me your own opinions."

Matt grabbed his goggles and pushed them up to his forehead, revealing blue eyes.

Matt said, "Kira always needs a face to kill and usually needs a name as well. Otherwise, there wouldn't be so many instances of criminals with misspelled names who never die. But, the pronunciation doesn't matter. Even criminals with names that are very difficult to pronounce die as long as the spelling is correct in the news reports. The second Kira clearly killed anonymous police officers that arrived at Sakura TV, with no way of knowing their names. The second Kira is more powerful, but must not do most of the killing. And, the second Kira and the first Kira have met even though the second Kira sent a video saying that didn't happen."

"You are correct. Anything else?"

"No more deductions, just the facts, and those same facts are in the files of every group that works against Kira. You know, the schedule of when things happened and the lists of criminals Kira has killed and so on."

L said, "This was hidden from the public, but Kira can control the actions of a person up to twenty-three days before their scheduled death. Kira needs a name and a face to kill, though some Kiras trade away half their lifespan for the power of knowing a person's name by looking at the face. The killing is done by writing names in a magic notebook while picturing the face. There are two such notebooks in the human world. Normally these notebooks belong to shinigami or gods of death, but sometimes humans obtain them."

Matt said, "You're serious? Magic notebooks?"

Watari said, "All of us have seen them and know they work. We've obtained one ourselves."

Matt said, "What happens if you cut a page out of the notebook and write a name on that?"

 _Very good! Matt jumped ahead to this thought faster than I did, and he didn't even have to see part of a page missing from a notebook to have that thought._

L said, "The person still dies if you write a name on that piece."

Matt said, "Kira kills a lot of criminals. What happens when the notebook becomes full?"

"I am told that it grows more pages, though I've never seen it do that."

Matt said, "If I were Kira, I'd mail out single pages to lots of different Kira supporters without letting them know who I was, and I'd tell them to kill criminals or I'd kill them. Then, I'd probably kill them anyway, and control them to not tell anyone and to burn the paper before they died. I'd keep the notebook itself hidden well."

L said, "Kira has already used a proxy, though not in a plan that elaborate because, if you are being watched all the time, you can only send the entire notebook, you cannot send pages at intervals. Higuchi was Light's proxy Kira for months."

Matt said, "Whoever has the second notebook now has the entire thing, because Misa is incapacitated."

L said, "Also because only one shinigami is now attached to Misa."

And then L explained as much as he knew about the ownership deal, cobbled together from Light's confessions before the attack on headquarters, things Rem had said, and things Misa had said.

Matt said, "That makes it a lot more complicated. Losing memories, huh? So, what is the plan for catching the new Kira?"

L said, "Misa used some method to locate a Kira supporter. There are very few ways that can be done, and I'm guessing she found the new Kira through a website, especially since Misa's shinigami would probably tell me who the new Kira is if that Kira knew Misa's face, just to protect Misa from being killed. Some of the things Misa does are extremely intelligent, and others are quite stupid. It is possible that obvious evidence might be on her computer, but it is also possible that there might be a subtle trap set there to erase evidence if unauthorized users start poking around. I wanted to wait until you were available before touching her computer. Misa is not very good with computers. She doesn't even use the Internet that well. However, she might have controlled a computer expert into doing things for her. It is also possible Misa used a computer other than her own to search for a new Kira, such as one in an Internet cafe, hotel room or at a friend's place."

"So," Matt said, "you want me to try to retrieve the Internet browsing history of every computer Misa might have used, even if she got an expert to try to erase it?"

"Yes, and Wedy and Watari will help determine which computers those might be and let you gain direct access to them. If that doesn't work, I need you to get me the real identities of every person who has left messages supporting Kira during the last few weeks on every Kira website that is large and easy to find, the sort of website Misa could easily stumble onto."

Matt said, "I can get you the names, but you realize that will be thousands of people? You can't be serious. You need a much larger team to investigate that many suspects."

"Normally, that would be true, but since I can see the shinigami following this Kira, I only need to watch each suspect for a little while, just long enough to be sure the shinigami isn't being sneaky by following at the maximum distance. I'm sure I can clear at least fifty people a day from the list, perhaps much more, and I can do it from inside vehicles with darkened windows, so the new Kira won't see my face."

Matt said, "So, maybe a couple thousand suspects per month?"

"Yes."

"It's going to be the most boring set of stake-outs ever."

L said, "I don't sleep much, and I'm used to that sort of work. Meanwhile, we can all study trends in the deaths to see if there are any other clues to help narrow down the number of suspects, and we'll continue examining all the data on Misa, such as the records of her phone calls and bank statements. We need to try to map her movements and activities as much as possible in the time leading up to her attempted suicide. The best situation would be if this new Kira tries to contact the media with messages or demands. Then we would have a chance to directly trap Kira. As long as we are very careful, the only big problem that could happen is if Misa sent my photo and name to the new Kira, but I don't think that was done."

"Why do you think that?"

"Because of my experiences in profiling, judging character and motivations. I know Misa well enough to think that having the new Kira kill me probably wasn't her plan, or, if it was, I would already be dead or obviously under Kira's control."

"So, what is the whole story? And, do you have any beanbag chairs around here?"

Watari said, "I'll go get one."

L began telling the story of his fight against Light, then Misa, and finally Higuchi, starting at the beginning. A few minutes into the process, Watari arrived with a beanbag chair and Matt settled into it with a languid, satisfied stretch and pulled his goggles back over his eyes. It was probably a mannerism to keep people at an emotional distance.

When L got to the part about his own captivity, he condensed the story and simply mentioned torture, leaving out all the sexual aspects and any details of what exactly had been done. Then he summarized what had happened to Wedy and Aiber, and then Watari broke in and told about his own captivity.

At the end, L mentioned his fake marriage to Misa and his plans to possibly use it to gather clues from Misa's friends and relatives. Knowing more about her movements during the period of his captivity could help to pinpoint the new Kira. L also tried to imply that Rem's reason for not killing him was because she believed he'd stick to the plan he'd offered immediately before Misa's suicide, of using his skills to throw other investigators off Misa's trail.

At the end, Matt said, "So, any time you piss off that monster, you're dead?"

"Yes. I am still planning to move against Rem, but I need time to set up something that is completely unsuspicious. If I try that and it fails, it is likely you will be the only survivor of our investigation team. Unless Rem sees your face, and then you would die too if my plan fails."

Matt leaned further back in his beanbag chair, almost completely horizontal now, and stared at the ceiling. His eyes were unreadable behind the yellow goggles.

After a few minutes of silence to let Matt think and process, L said, "Tell me the mistakes I made."

"What?"

"You are in training, so you need to be able to make an analysis like this. There were mistakes I made, mainly because I was frightened or I had little time to make a proper decision. Please point them out."

Wedy asked, "He's in training?"

"Yes, he's a trainee detective. One of many that I and some others have been training. You aren't authorized to know more than that, just as I won't tell him anything about who you really are."

Matt looked at Wedy and said, "I bet you're Ryuzaki's girlfriend, right?"

Wedy snorted and said, "No!"

Matt said, "Ryuzaki, maybe you should try to date Wedy. She's pretty and she seems like the kind of woman you would get along with."

L said, "Workplace romances are rarely a good idea. Now, what mistakes did I make when investigating the first three Kiras?"

Matt shifted around again, and said, "You shouldn't have started surveillance on Light until you had enough personnel to watch him all the time."

"That's true. If I'd watched him well enough and long enough, he either would have been caught writing a name, or his supply of removed paper would run out, and then if he couldn't think of a good way to access his notebook's hiding place without the cameras seeing him, the criminal deaths would have stopped. It might not have proved he was Kira, but it would have made things extremely difficult for him. I made that mistake because I was afraid to hire more personnel, mainly because of the risk of infiltrators. Even if the FBI had been willing to send me more, or if I'd gotten some from a different source, anyone who volunteered for such a job could easily be a Kira supporter. And, the more investigation team members there are, the easier it is for leaks to happen. Even one leak could have killed us all. What else did I do wrong?"

Matt said, "When you had enough evidence to arrest Misa, you should have hidden yourself far away from everyone instead of appearing on campus where she saw your face. Then, neither of the Kiras could have killed you and neither could Rem. And, you probably should have let Misa act on her own for a while. She would have done something stupid and then Light would get caught."

L said, "I had great difficulty making that decision. I almost decided to do what you've described. Now, what else?"

"When Light came to you asking to be confined, and you knew it had to be part of his plan and suspected he would have arranged a way for the deaths to continue, you should have left him loose while you pursued Higuchi. He probably would have done something that would get him caught, and if he erased his memories during that time, he probably wouldn't have gotten them back."

"Now, what other mistakes?"

Matt said, "None."

"There were two more. I underestimated Misa's intelligence, and I murdered my main suspect. No detective should resort to murder to catch criminals. I wasn't even one hundred percent certain Light was Kira at the time, but even if I had been that wouldn't have excused my action either. I tried to justify it to myself by thinking that it was self-defense and a way to prove he was Kira at the same time. Also, I knew Misa had once seen my name, and I did not realize she had forgotten it. I thought I could die at any moment and it would happen without the others getting any proof of Light being Kira. However, my action resulted in the deaths of most of my investigation team, torture for Watari and myself, and deaths of many additional innocents such as Hideki Ryuga. Also, it didn't actually solve the case since I am presently unable to arrest Misa and there is still a Kira killing criminals. It was a desperate move and produced bad results."

Matt said, "Most people would have really wanted to do what you did. I mean, when the killings started again so soon after Higuchi's death, that was a clear signal from Kira that he expected you to be dead soon. Otherwise, it would have been too dangerous to start the killings right away."

"Yes," L said, "most people would be very tempted by such power. The murder notebooks should never be in human hands. If I die before this case closes, please make sure both notebooks are burned."

Matt said, "I'll do that. So, what is the plan to test Rem for weaknesses?"

"Currently, I don't have a plan. If Misa had fled with me, it would have been a perfect situation to repeatedly test Rem by sending attackers to Misa. However, it is more difficult to come up with reasons why anyone would attack an unconscious pregnant woman I am presently supposed to be protecting. Even if Rem thought I didn't cause it, she would probably kill me anyway for failing to protect Misa. Also, I do not understand how the lifespan works. If I send people who are merely pretending to attack Misa, then Rem may be able to look at Misa's lifespan and see it won't work, and then Rem might do nothing and we wouldn't learn anything. Furthermore, if Rem knew I'd sent false attackers just to test her, Rem would probably kill us in revenge."

Watari said, "There is one more problem with Rem. None of us except Ryuzaki can see any shinigami other than Rem, and Ryuzaki can only see Rem and Ryuk. We could be observed by other invisible shinigami at any time, so we should avoid discussing anything that looks as if we're plotting against Rem unless we absolutely need to talk about it, and then we should end the discussion as quickly as possible."

L said, "Yes, that is true. I do not know if shinigami have friends or can send other shinigami on errands. From Ryuk's behavior and some of the things Light said, I think they are usually neutral and passive. But, we must guard against the possibility of Rem sending a shinigami spy. Everything we do to find the next Kira is fine to discuss openly, but we should never talk about acting against Rem or Misa unless we absolutely must."

Matt said, "The job you've got me doing with the computers, it won't be hard but it could take a long time. If Misa didn't leave obvious evidence, I'm going to need to hack into a few hundred websites and gather a lot of information about the people who post messages there. I'd better get started."

L said, "Watari, could you take Matt to Misa's apartment? That's the first computer to check. And, Wedy, I need taps on the phones and computer lines of every single friend, relative or acquaintance Misa has, along with hidden cameras for the more important ones. I've got all the addresses on file in the computer system. I'm going to start investigating Misa's family directly."

As L watched the others leave, he got out his cellphone and called Yumiko Amane.

Yumiko answered with a rude-sounding, "Yes?"

L said, "This is Hideki Ryuga. I was hoping to arrange a meeting with as many of Misa's relatives as you can gather. I am willing to rent a nice banquet hall or a mountain retreat or go to any restaurant, no matter how expensive."

In a grumbling voice that sounded like Yumiko had a hangover, she said, "Misa must have been crazy when she married you."

L said, "I agree, however I'm sure everyone wants to meet me, and hear about Misa's pregnancy."

Yumiko said, "Is it even yours? She was with three other men, wasn't she?"

L said, "Whether it is mine or not, I'm the husband and if Misa doesn't wake up, I will be raising the child. I'm sure you don't want to cut off all contact with your future niece or nephew."

Yumiko said, "I'll call everyone and see about it. You said price is no object?"

"It must be private but, yes, price is no object. I will pay for everything."

Yumiko sighed, and L could hear a lot of anger in that sigh. She said, "Here comes a customer. I need to go."

"I'll call again tonight. Please don't delay, Yumiko."

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!


	19. Yumiko

**CHAPTER 19: Yumiko**

Arranging the meeting with Misa's relatives was easy, but incorporated a delay. Not everyone was ready and willing to drop everything for an immediate meeting, so L was forced to wait a week. During that time, the new headquarters began looking more and more like an actual headquarters instead of a hastily-renovated warehouse below with several floors of offices above, and the days settled into a routine.

Every day, L got up early and quickly went out to check on the potential Kiras from Matt's quickly-growing list. It was clear from the pattern of deaths that the new Kira was within Tokyo, or at least had access to Tokyo-based newspapers and television, because some criminals who had been announced only in that media had died. Therefore, many Kira suspects were eliminated from the list based on their addresses.

L did most of his suspect-stalking work from the back of a van full of surveillance equipment, usually with Watari driving but sometimes with other drivers hired for that purpose when Watari was needed for different tasks. A security wall could close off the driver so that L could operate in full secrecy, but he still made sure that when he used other drivers they did not have any idea where headquarters was or what the reason was for driving around and being asked to park in various places.

L observed each target walk far enough that Ryuk should be visible following them if they were Kira. Except for those few targets L was able to observe going to or from either school or work, or leaving their home on errands, L usually had to create some kind of reason for them to leave wherever they were and then go far enough for the test to be valid. To that end, he usually used phone calls about made-up emergencies that needed their immediate attention, but sometimes he ended up using Watari or Wedy to create a situation to get the target to move when his phone calls were ignored.

Most of the time, the process worked better than L had imagined it would. He usually put in at least twelve hours each day in the van, and most days he was able to clear more than 50 Kira suspects from Matt's list. However, Matt's list was huge, and it grew day by day. Misa hadn't left any obvious clues on her computer or on any computer she likely could have accessed, so it was a long process of tracking everyone who had left messages in the last few weeks claiming to be a Kira supporter on Kira websites, messages Misa might have noticed and somehow responded to.

Within three days, Matt was secretly in control of most of the large Kira websites, though he didn't do anything to change them that the real owners would notice. But, if the new Kira were continuing to visit Kira websites, it would be easier than ever to uncover their real-life identity after Matt's modifications. If the new Kira had been sneaky before becoming Kira, such as by using a computer in a public library or in an Internet cafe, it wouldn't be possible to figure out just which person had left the message even if you knew which computer it had been sent from. So, Matt's list could be invalid, a waste of time, but L didn't see any better method for the time being.

Whenever L wasn't stalking Kira suspects for any sign of Ryuk, he spent the rest of his waking hours at headquarters, combing through the new data of criminal deaths and trying to come up with deductions, or handling various other tasks such as going over recordings of the phone lines they'd tapped or watching video of the various people who tried to visit Misa's apartment.

Wedy was kept only marginally busy and probably had the most free time. Wedy's first priority was helping Matt gain direct access to those non-public computers Misa might have used other than her own, which meant breaking into some of Misa's friends' apartments, but when that work slowed down she tackled the task of going through all of Misa's belongings for clues with the methodical scrutiny that only a thief of her caliber could manage. L was glad he wasn't doing it. Misa's possessions reminded him of Misa, and he made a point of avoiding the storage room where the items removed from her apartment were kept.

The result of Wedy's search was a bunch of clues to what Misa might have been doing during those days of captivity, including receipts from places she'd been shopping and numerous fingerprints on her possessions that needed to be catalogued and identified. But the most valuable items were three small pieces of paper that, from looks alone, seemed to match the death note paper, being the exact same shade of white and having the same grayish ruled lines of precisely the right width. Furthermore, Misa had gone to extraordinary lengths to conceal them inside items of clothing by cutting open seams, slipping the paper inside, and then sewing them back up. They almost had to be scraps of death note paper. The only other possibility was that they were decoys for some unfulfilled plan.

L hoped that at least one of the pieces had been cut from Ryuk's notebook. If so, the number of people searching for Ryuk could be increased, cutting down the searching time needed. And, once Ryuk was found, not only was that the key to locating the new Kira, it was also an opportunity to learn Rem's weakness. Ryuk could be questioned. He responded to apple bribes, Misa had said that much. Even if he couldn't be convinced to tell the weakness directly, it might be possible to trick him into saying things that were clues.

Questioning Ryuk relentlessly about shinigami traits was safe; with Rem, too many questions would lead to too much suspicion, suspicion that she was being set up. Ryuk could also be questioned about the lifespans shinigami could see, about what they meant. It was crucial to know whether the attackers sent to threaten Misa could be told to hold back at the last moment, or if they needed to be set up to actually kill Misa.

If Rem could tell with a glance at Misa's lifespan that it was a fake attack, then things became much more complicated, with severe moral questions and logistics questions involved in the whole situation. If Rem knew it was a fake attack, she might kill everyone. Or, if it was a real attack and something went wrong and Misa actually died, Rem would certainly kill everyone in revenge. To know whether a fake attack was a possibility or not was the first step in building a plan to test for Rem's weakness. And, if Ryuk was helpful enough, whether through bribes or trickery, it might be possible to skip the tests to discover Rem's weakness and take the next steps after that, whatever they may be.

As soon as Wedy had finished the search of Misa's belongings and it was clear that there were no other hidden pieces of paper, L held a meeting. Watari handed out cake and ice cream from a desert cart while L held up the three sheets of paper, explaining that each of them was either from Rem's notebook, or from Ryuk's notebook, or was a decoy in some unused plan.

Then L said, "Matt, given these circumstances, how would you use these pieces of paper to help in the investigation?"

Matt looked at first startled to be asked his opinion, but then he said, "Nothing changes unless we've got a piece of Ryuk's notebook. If we do, then we wouldn't have to bother trying to figure out how Misa handed off the notebook to a Kira supporter. We could have hundreds of agents scouring Tokyo, looking for Ryuk. Maybe even thousands."

L said, "We'll get to that step in a moment. How do we determine if any of these were taken from Ryuk's notebook?"

Matt said, "We'd need three people who couldn't see Rem previously. We let each of them touch only one piece of paper, and then we find out if they can see Rem. If any can't see Rem, then we know the piece they touched pretty much has to be from Ryuk's notebook."

"You are correct. But, Rem might not want anyone else to be able to see her. Since shinigami don't show up on cameras or video, I need to bring those people near her, and if she realizes they can see her she might kill them so that they are never a threat to Misa in the future. I could try to avoid that by using very good actors, but seeing a shinigami for the first time could shock anyone. What should we do about this?"

Matt thoughtfully took a bite of ice cream, sucking on the spoon, and then said, "You could try asking Rem. She's already told you that you're allowed to pursue the new Kira. Since this test would be part of that and wouldn't harm Misa unless the new people who can see Rem use that as evidence against Misa, she might just let you do it."

Wedy said, "It's better to do it secretly. Then if we get caught, we can always pretend it was an innocent mistake and Rem probably won't kill us for it. If we ask first and Rem says 'No' we'll have to disobey her anyway, and she might be watching for us to do it and ready to kill us for disobedience."

L scratched one bare foot with the other and said, "Correct. We can probably hide this from Rem, but it is best not to put her on alert or give her a reason to kill us in revenge. It is a bad idea to make Rem nervous, even though she should be reluctant to kill me because she has no other pawn to help Misa appear innocent, and killing the rest of you without killing me would be pointless. Matt, considering that if we do get caught Rem might kill those new people we've given the ability to see her, what should we do?"

Matt leaned back in his chair and said, "We need to get convicts who have been sentenced to death in case Rem notices and kills them. We should probably put them in the next building and have them look out the windows to see Rem fly outside. You could make her go outside with that arrangement you have of signaling that you want her to follow you back to your car and talk there. For extra security, the convicts should be put in a soundproof room so if they scream it won't attract Rem's attention, and the windows should be silvered so those outside can't see in. So we don't end up leaking information about the investigation, we should make sure the convicts don't know where they are, and maybe we should ask for ones with a history of hallucinations or mental illness so if they tell anyone else, it won't matter."

L said, "You have excellent ideas, Matt. Would you like to be in charge of that mission? Watari can obtain everything you need, including getting temporary custody of the convicts."

"Really?"

"You are in training, you already have a good plan, and I do not think this mission could easily become dangerous. As long as you are careful, nothing should go wrong. Still, since it could potentially kill all of us, you should inform everyone of each step you take, leaving enough time for us to object and stop it."

Wedy said, "What about if we do have paper from Ryuk's notebook? I don't like the thought of a lot more people getting involved in this. It could turn into a complete shitstorm. They could blow our cover, mess up the Rem situation, or overhear Ryuk talking about Kira's power being from writing in a magic notebook and decide to steal it for their own purposes."

L said, "You are correct. I could probably get at least a hundred people by requesting agents from the FBI or CIA or MI6, and I also have a list of relatively trustworthy reformed criminals that I've used for jobs before. The chances of a disaster increase the more people we add, even if we never let them into headquarters and the only contact we have is through a computer. Matt, do you know why?"

Matt said, "Sure, that's pretty obvious. They might want to figure out how Kira's power works and then let some government or a criminal organization in on the secret, or use it to make themselves rich and powerful, and they could figure out how it works just by what Ryuk says. And if they realize Misa is the second Kira, they might try to arrest Misa before you're ready and get you killed."

"Yes. That is why I would limit the ability to see Ryuk to the four of us unless we start getting desperate and cannot think of any alternatives. If politicians or mob bosses get Kira's power it would be a far worse situation than the one we have now."

Matt shifted uncomfortably in his chair and said, "Shit! This means a lot of boring stakeouts for me, doesn't it? Although, if I do it your way, I'd be making prank calls all day long. That sounds kind of sweet, but it'd still get boring after a couple of weeks."

L said, "Matt, your personality isn't suited to long stakeouts, and neither is Wedy's. I'd like to start covering other possibilities. Even though Rem says the new Kira doesn't know Misa's face, Misa might have sought out that Kira in person without giving her identity away. I would like you and Wedy to go to places a Kira supporter might go. There are over one hundred offline Kira-supporting clubs in Tokyo, and it would be very simple to watch and see who goes into club meetings. There are also rallies, speeches and protests, especially at the funerals of criminals killed by Kira, and there is a crowd that gathers outside Sakura TV during every showing of 'Kira's Kingdom'. I am sure Watari can supply a more complete list. Even if Kira is lying low for now, I think if Kira used to go to any of those places, the habit will probably return after a time."

Matt said, "So, if we have Ryuk's paper you'll keep working on my list with your all-day stakeouts, and when there's a Kira gathering, one of the rest of us will check it out?"

"Yes. There should perhaps be two or three short stakeouts per day, and the rest of the time you can work on other projects."

Wedy said, "What if Kira has already been told what we look like? I mean, for everyone except Matt?"

L said, "When you can, stay concealed in vehicles. This will work for watching who goes in or out of buildings. You should only be out in the open when there is a large crowd, and for those situations Watari can put you in disguises. Matt too, since an obvious foreigner might draw attention. As long as you do not attempt to follow Kira and do not act in highly suspicious ways, you should be safe."

Watari said, "Wedy, I do not know if you've seen the photographs of Watari at Interpol meetings, but I am completely unrecognizable. I do not seem to be my age at all, and Interpol has no idea that I even have a mustache."

L said, "Watari does excellent work."

Wedy smirked and said, "If you can hide that mustache, you're a true pro."

Matt sighed, leaned back, put his hands behind his head and laced his fingers together. "This all seems like a lot of work. Don't you have any other plans? Just looking for Ryuk?"

L said, "We can't do much unless Kira makes a move. If this Kira begins sending threats to the media, police or politicians, then we can try to gather clues. Also, we can try schemes to draw out Kira, but we should probably wait at least a few weeks so it will not seem so much like trickery. Kira will probably be expecting us to do something soon after the notebook has changed hands."

Wedy said, "Ryuzaki, what are you thinking of doing?"

L said, "I was thinking I might let it be known that L will present a progress report to Interpol at a specific date and time, through Watari as always. It will be a fake Watari, a criminal sentenced to death. It would be very tempting for Kira to unmask that Watari and attempt to get information about L by controlling him. If that man is attacked, it might lead us directly to Kira."

Everyone listened carefully as L went into a description of the details he'd already considered for that plan. Wedy added a few suggestions about how to craft the perfect trap for Kira, and then Matt chimed in too and it became a long discussion that ate up most of the afternoon and extended into other types of traps that could be set for Kira, including faking more Kira videos to probe for a response. Matt had a suggestion to fake deaths that would be sure to offend Kira's sense of justice in order to make the new Kira determined to stop the fake Kira.

Although, if this new Kira had the shinigami eyes, photographs of the supposed victims would need to be concealed without making that fact seem suspicious, or Kira would immediately know it was all a hoax by seeing names and lifespans floating above the heads of supposedly dead people.

After the discussion ended L kept running the various possibilities through his mind as he went out and worked through more suspects from Matt's list. If there was going to be a trap, then the first priority was trying to make it seem like something other than a trap. If the first trick failed, Kira might learn to lie low and ignore things, never responding to later tricks. The first try had to be flawless.

The day of meeting with Misa's relatives approached quickly, with no further clues or breakthroughs. L purchased a hot springs resort in the mountains for the purpose, one that had a capacity for thirty guests at a time. He sent all the regular employees home for that day and stocked it with professional bodyguards instead. There was a risk someone would try to bring in a camera and get a photo to sell to the tabloids.

What the guests didn't know, and shouldn't be able to tell, was that hidden microphones and video cameras were scattered over the entire resort, ready to pick up any "private" conversations that might hold clues. L deliberately waited an hour after he'd said he would arrive, and used that extra time to watch the conversations that the others had. There were twelve guests altogether. Yumiko Amane, plus two of Misa's uncles along with their wives and children, and Misa's maternal grandmother. There were some additional relatives who weren't coming at all, but they were all fairly distant and had nothing to do with Misa.

Both of the uncles were Misa's father's brothers, and one in particular, Izumi Amane, was belligerent, loud and argumentative from the moment he showed up. Yumiko was rather pointedly trying to ignore Izumi, but he had a habit of trying to get in everyone's faces. The younger kids were all quite the opposite as Izumi; they seemed too quiet, too well behaved. They were unnaturally clean and there wasn't anything even slightly messy about them. They appeared to be like little dolls, and even their clothing looked stiff and uncreased, as if it had been ironed only moments before.

All of the kids except one were under ten. There was also a teenager, fourteen-year-old Takeshi Amane. His clothing was slightly scruffy, and he alternated between being polite and quiet and having brief, angry outbursts. But, of all these relatives, Yumiko was the most important one, the one most likely to have clues. All evidence pointed to Misa contacting her sister far more often than any other relative. If anyone here knew a useful detail about what Misa had been doing, it was probably Yumiko.

Nearly the entire conversation before L arrived revolved around speculations of just how rich "Hideki Ryuga" might be, and of how that money could benefit the family. The grandmother, Natsuki Oshima, was the one who was the most insistent that those riches needed to be tapped right away, while Yumiko was the most skeptical and kept bringing up objections whenever she didn't just sit there sullenly. When L was sure the conversation was only getting repetitive and no real information about Misa was coming out, he exited the locked room he'd been concealed in and snuck around to the front door, pretending to enter as if he'd just arrived.

When L walked into the combination lobby and dining hall where Misa's relatives were gathered, everyone else stood up and approached him, the kids hanging a slight distance behind the adults. From their body language and the looks on their faces, L could tell they were alarmed with his appearance, but trying to hide it. L went through the introductions as if he didn't already know their names, being polite and bowing at all the right times.

 _Yes, I know far more about these people than they think I know, including their embarrassing secrets._

There had been nothing criminal, and no indication of anything worse than alcoholism and verbal abuse, but it did not seem like a pleasant family to be in. L was suddenly struck with the image of a child much like himself being raised by the Amanes, and clashing with them at every turn, a child with his personality but Misa's face. He forced that thought out of his head. It wasn't time yet to even think about things like that.

During the greetings, Uncle Izumi tried to tone down the formality and was quick to insist that everyone should be on a first-name basis here.

L replied, "It does not matter to me if you call me Hideki or Ryuga."

L pointed down a hallway and said, "Kids, you'll find an unlocked suite in that direction, full of candy, Christmas presents and video games. You can take the video games with you when you return home. The servants will also be delivering all the same foods that everyone else will be eating, so you can stay there as long as you like without missing anything."

All the kids except Takeshi looked to their parents' faces for confirmation.

One aunt said, "Yes. It would be best if all of you go there. We have many things to discuss here that you wouldn't like to hear."

As the rest of the kids ran off down the hallway, the youngest girl lingered behind. She squinted up at L and said, "Will Misa be okay?"

Before L could think of what to say, the grandmother said, "Leave him alone, Keiko."

Keiko suddenly hugged L's legs and said, "Thank you for the presents, Ryuga."

Then she let go and was running along after the others.

The moment Keiko disappeared from sight, Yumiko began advancing, a determined look on her face. L automatically stepped back a few paces. Up close, Yumiko was frightening again. Even though her chosen style of dress was different than Misa, as was her hair color, most of her remaining characteristics, from her face to her voice to the way she moved, seemed uncannily like Misa. Yumiko smiled as she seemed to realize her effect and pushed closer. L stood his ground and Yumiko stopped a few inches in front of his face.

Yumiko said, "Ryuga, you can't pay us off like this. Your relationship with Misa isn't right. You think because you're rich, you get to do whatever you want."

Uncle Izumi said, "Yumiko! Don't be an idiot!"

Then Izumi turned to L and said, "Please forgive Yumiko. She is terribly impolite and has no sense at all. Yumiko always causes trouble for everyone. We should send her away."

In a shrill voice, Yumiko said, "He's just a kinky pervert who ruined Misa's career and tricked her into doing disgusting things, and it's supposed to be okay because he married her? How do we know he didn't shoot her himself?"

Izumi yelled, "Get out! You do not represent this family!"

L said, "Yumiko stays. Why don't we sit at the table? Food will be arriving at any moment."

L quickly darted around the startled knot of people and toward the table, which was more than large enough to accommodate twelve guests, even though just the seven adults were now present. Two bodyguards silently entered the room and stood at the furthest ends from each other. These were highly-paid professionals, so that they would not be tempted to leak photos themselves. The money they could get from tabloids wouldn't be worth it compared to their salaries.

 _Yumiko is the only one who is more concerned with what's good for Misa than with the possibility of someone rich marrying into the family. There are two ways to use this to help make Yumiko more cooperative._

As everyone took their seats, Yumiko pointedly looked at both guards and said, "I don't see why all of us had to give up our cellphones and have our purses and bags searched."

One of the aunts said, "Yumiko, it is common sense. He is trying to escape the tabloids. Surely you don't want more shameful stories to be published, do you? Besides, he told us beforehand that we'd be subject to a search."

Yumiko just said, "Look, just look at the way he's sitting! Do you want a pervert and possible murderer who acts and dresses like that as part of our family? He's probably a drug addict too, and he hallucinates!"

Just as several relatives opened their mouths to yell at Yumiko, L said, "I think it is important that we discuss Misa's situation."

Izumi said, "Every day, the doctors give us a different chance of whether she'll wake up, whether she'll live or die, and nobody seems to know if she'll lose the baby or not."

L said, "The doctors tell me the exact same things. In another week or so, the chances should become more clear."

L nodded at one of the bodyguards, and the man brought over a folder full of information. L opened it and leaned over to place it in front of Yumiko. It held all the data he'd been able to gather on where Misa had been during his captivity. Mostly, it showed where she had been shopping, from receipts, and which hotels she'd rented rooms at.

L said, "Yumiko, Misa called you more often than any other relative, so you might know something that will be useful to all of us. Misa kept me in restraints and unable to leave my room during most of the month of November."

Yumiko's expression softened, and she said, "A whole month?"

L continued, "It is very important that I know what she was doing during that time. She had many boyfriends other than myself, probably more than I knew about. If the child isn't mine, then knowing what she did during that time could lead us to the real father. We can do a paternity test after the baby is born, but we need to known every man she had sex with. Also, I think it is possible Misa did not shoot herself, but that it was an attempted murder, and if I could find out what she was doing it might be possible to figure out who tried to shoot her. If it was murder, this person is still loose and could try again."

 _There. Two pieces of bait for Yumiko. Proving I'm not the father, and eliminating a threat to Misa. She should jump for at least one piece of bait, if not both, and then be willing to tell me everything she knows without holding back._

As everyone else looked at L with shocked faces, some more bodyguards masquerading as servants of the resort entered the room, holding various dishes and approaching the table.

Yumiko said, "You're lying. The police would be investigating for attempted murder, not you. Every time I ask the police they refuse to consider that someone might have shot my sister."

L said, "I'm rich enough that the police will listen to me, and I've asked them not to get involved, because there were leaks to the tabloids from the police who showed up at the other Hideki Ryuga's mansion. Instead, I've hired a private detective to investigate."

Yumiko pulled out Misa's phone records from the stack of papers inside the folder and looked them over. Calmness had come over her features, the anger lines smoothed out as she flipped through the pages, intently scanning each one.

She said, "These five calls listed here, they're the only contact I've had with Misa in months, and she didn't tell me anything about what she was doing or where she was or who she was with. She didn't even say a word about you. For the last month, Misa wouldn't answer me when I asked if Light was still her boyfriend. She was just sad, terribly sad. Misa wanted to talk about Kira more than anything else, and about our parents. They were murdered, do you know?"

"Yes, I know."

The center of the table was quickly filling up with various fragrant dishes. Most of it was reheated from the night before, when the regular servants had cooked it. L put some cake, flavored rice balls and candy on his own plate and started eating the cake first.

Yumiko was ignoring the servants and instead was rapidly flipping through the pages in the file L had given her. There were no originals in it, only copies, so it didn't really matter what Yumiko did with it.

Yumiko emptied it out on the table in front of her, and said, "This isn't normal. I think you're a stalker. No wonder you make Misa so unhappy. Do you know a stalker almost killed her?"

 _This incident is not in my files._

"No, I did not. Will you tell me about that, Yumiko?"

Yumiko rolled her eyes and looked downward. L followed her gaze and saw that his hand was absently stacking the pieces of candy into a little pattern along the rim of his plate.

L rested both hands on the tops of his knees and said, "Yumiko, what if Misa's shooter is the same stalker? It is very important for you to tell me about this, for Misa's sake."

Yumiko said, "It can't be. That guy is dead. Kira killed him."

"He was arrested for something else? What was his name?"

Yumiko quietly said, "I don't know his name. It was last spring, just a few weeks after Kira killed the burglar who murdered Mom and Dad. A stalker cornered Misa in an alley halfway between the modeling studio she was working for then and the nearest bus stop. He had a knife. He said Misa should become his, and if not he'd kill her and then himself."

Izumi said, "Misa's stupid. She should have accepted. It's just luck that Kira killed him then."

 _Killed him then? Did Misa write his name, or Rem?_

A look of anger flashed across Yumiko's face, and then she took a deep breath and continued, "Misa was hysterical the next morning when she called me. The guy had a heart attack and died right in front of her. She was so shocked that Kira could kill a criminal in the act like that. Then, a week later, she was suddenly completely different about it. She asked me not to tell anyone, and she said she didn't think Kira did it. She said a god must have been watching over her. I thought she'd gotten over the Kira obsession, but it just came back worse than before. She moved to Tokyo hoping to meet Kira right after that, and she wouldn't tell me what was going on any more. She just got so reclusive, and then she disappeared completely for almost two months, and even after that she wouldn't really talk to me."

 _If Misa had her death note during the attack, she wouldn't have been so shocked and mystified at first and then changed her behavior and story a week later. Rem must have killed Misa's stalker, but Rem didn't introduce herself right away. How long did Rem watch over Misa? Is there a reason Rem didn't kill the burglar who broke into Misa's parents' home? What differences are there between these two events?_

Yumiko glared and said, "You can see why I don't want creepy pervert stalkers like you near my sister. I hope you're not the father, and then you'll go away, right?"

Yumiko's grandmother stood up and said, "Yumiko! Be quiet! Misa's husband has been kind enough to meet with us. Do not spitefully ruin her marriage! You can't even find a man for yourself."

Then the grandmother turned to face L, bowed deeply, and in a gentler voice said, "We will send her into the room with the children. She will not bother you any more."

L said, "Yumiko does not upset me at all. I would like to continue talking with her."

Everyone had startled, disbelieving faces, Yumiko most of all. L calmly ate some more of his food, and then launched into a detailed discussion with Yumiko of everything she could remember about Misa from the last year or so, asking the other relatives for details as well at intervals. It was as he'd suspected. Yumiko knew little about what Misa had been doing over the last year, and the other relatives knew much less. The entire project of meeting the Amane family was unlikely to yield any clues beyond the stalker incident.

But, the death of that stalker was an example of Rem killing for Misa. It couldn't easily be anything else. So, Rem had already killed for Misa. Then, why hadn't Rem killed off the entire investigation team as soon as she'd seen everyone's names? Was it because she suspected there were additional hidden members at some other location? Was she a shinigami who, by loving one human, had become very reluctant to take human lives? Or, was it because she was still following some plan of Light's at that point, and for whatever reason she needed to wait before killing?

If only Light's confessing had been able to go on for another hour or two before the attack on headquarters, there would be more clues about what had really been going on during those final days, of what Light's plan had actually been. There were so many holes, so many unknown pieces.

When the conversation turned to the murder of Misa's parents, Uncle Izumi suddenly blurted out, "Yumiko, they'd be alive if not for you."

Yumiko glared at her uncle and said, "So now it's my fault again? The burglar was obviously under the impression that nobody was home. Otherwise, he wouldn't have murdered Mom and Dad. He panicked and tried to kill off the witnesses."

"That's my point. If four people had been living there instead of three, the place would have looked busier and he would have passed it over for an easier target. You shouldn't have moved out on your own at such a young age. Only loose women are so eager to live by themselves."

"No," Yumiko said, "you blame me for not living there, and you blame Misa for being there. It was the burglar's fault only, nobody else's."

Izumi said, "If Misa had just shouted that she was on the phone with the police instead of hiding under the bed, the criminal would have run away without killing anyone. Even an idiot like her should have realized that much."

Yumiko stood up and started shouting, "You tormented her with those accusations, and then you wonder why she doesn't visit any more? The burglar would have been even more eager to kill all the witnesses if Misa had done that."

Izumi opened his mouth to begin again, but L interrupted with, "It is illogical to suggest that both Yumiko and Misa could be at fault, or that Misa could have saved her parents by being braver."

Yumiko looked surprised, then glanced back and forth between her uncle and L, and said, "Both of you are crazy. I'm going home, and I'm going to get very drunk and try to forget all this."

She whirled to face L directly and advanced on him. L instinctively tried to cringe back into his chair, but he concentrated on breathing, on trying to steady it and be calm. He hoped Yumiko would not try to touch him.

When her face was inches away, she said, "None of this makes any sense. I will figure out what you're up to, and then you'll be sorry. You will not hurt my sister, I don't care how rich you are."

With that statement, Yumiko left, and the rest of the relatives quickly started up attempts to soothe L and convince him that Yumiko was a terrible person and should not be ever invited to anything again. L barely talked with them at all and simply enjoyed his meal, slightly bemused at how his calmness was so puzzling to everyone. After finishing the meal, L made his excuses and left, but told everyone else that the resort was rented for the entire weekend, and that they should stay and enjoy the facilities. There was still a chance their conversations after he left would reveal some additional clue.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

L has received a small clue about Rem's weakness, though he's interpreting it wrong so far. But, since he knows this much he might be able to trick Ryuk into telling him more, once he finds Ryuk, that is.

From the timeline I've constructed, I think this chapter began about December 3rd or 4th, and the Amane family reunion was during the second week of December.

Yes, L is spending most of his time making prank calls to Kira supporters and then watching them run off to fake emergencies. All for a good purpose.

I consider it kind of silly that I had a "hot springs episode" with absolutely no nudity, when those episodes are a staple of anime fanservice.

I reached a point in the story where I had to decide whether humans can see shinigami on video or not (just those humans who are otherwise capable of seeing that particular shinigami, of course).

This issue is never made completely clear in the anime/manga, though it is shown that shinigami can see other shinigami on video (Rem sees Ryuk when Misa comes to visit headquarters after regaining ownership of a death note) and it is implied that humans probably can too (since at the raid on Mello's headquarters, when the taskforce realizes a shinigami is there, they mention it couldn't be Rem because they'd be able to see Rem on video; I think this incident is just in the manga, not the anime).

The reason why this is a big deal is because, if humans can see shinigami on video, then there is a plot hole in canon: why didn't L just re-watch the video of Misa's captivity and see Rem there, talking about Misa's guilt and talking about Light?

The route I've taken here in regards to shinigami being seen on video by humans gets rid of that plot hole and also shapes the rest of my story. However, in some stories I've done it the opposite way, or I've found some other reasoning to get rid of the plot hole.

This is because I don't think that things really need to be just one way or to stay consistent across multiple pieces of fan fiction. Each fic being consistent within itself is good enough for me, and this way it allows me to explore more ideas and plot twists in my fan fiction than if I decided to stick with one set of interpretations of canon and never deviate from them.


	20. Nightmare

**CHAPTER 20: Nightmare**

When L returned to headquarters, the first thing he saw was Wedy and Matt standing off in a corner of the ground-level warehouse, in a cloud of smoke, cigarettes hanging from both their lips. A fan on the ceiling high above them was sucking up the top of the column of smoke and making it swirl in odd ways.

L approached and said, "How long has this been going on?"

Matt said, "Five months."

"I'm not surprised you were able to hide this from Roger, but it's going to be different here from now on."

L plucked the cigarette from Matt in a quick motion, flung it to the concrete floor and ground it underneath the heel of a worn-out tennis shoe.

Matt said, "Hey! Wedy gets to smoke!"

"Wedy is an adult. From now on, both Watari and Wedy will be watching you to prevent you from smoking, and both of them are extremely smart."

Wedy blew out a long stream of smoke and said, "I'm not a babysitter."

L said, "Wedy, I'll pay you an extra week's salary each time you find Matt smoking and stop it."

Wedy gave a short, sharp nod. "Okay."

He looked at Matt. "And you two are not going to start an arrangement where you purposely get caught so Wedy can cash in. I'll catch on and deduct all that pay. Matt, you'll either break the habit, or you'll learn to be incredibly sneaky. Either way you will have gained something quite valuable."

As L began walking away, he mused out loud, "Yes, either outcome would be valuable. Perhaps this should be your Christmas gift?"

Matt said, "No way! You're kidding, right?"

"Of course, Matt. Don't take it so seriously."

Just before L went through the door into the rest of the building, Wedy called out, "How much do I get if I catch him leaning close and sucking up second-hand smoke?"

"Ten percent of what you'll get if you actually catch him smoking."

L spent a few hours watching the additional, still-unfolding footage from the Amane family reunion that was continuing without him present, while simultaneously looking up information to determine who the mysterious stalker had been in Yumiko's story. Soon, it was clear there was only one person fitting the story. Masanori Fujita had been found dead in an alley in the right time frame and place, and the coroner's report said he'd died of a heart attack.

He had no criminal record, so Kira could not have coincidentally killed Fujita just as he'd been about to attack Misa. It could only have been someone on the scene, which meant Misa herself or Rem. And, from the details of Yumiko's story, it seemed extremely unlikely that Misa knew about death notes at that time or was aware of Rem yet.

So, this was an experiment, an already-completed one, of Rem killing for Misa's sake. And, it had gone off without a hitch. Whatever conditions were required to stop a shinigami from killing had not been present in that instance. What factors made the difference? Would there need to be many tests in slightly different circumstances to identify the crucial, shinigami-stopping characteristics?

This was bad. In Misa's current situation, only a very limited number of unsuspicious tests could be set up. Rem wasn't an idiot; she'd quickly catch on. By the third or fourth test, if not earlier, she would suspect it was all a set up, a betrayal. Perhaps only one test could be risked, and for it to have the highest chance of yielding valuable information, as much research as possible needed to be done first. Ryuk was the most likely source for the right kind of information, but if Rem was asked about the stalker incident, as long as she wasn't peppered with too many questions, some valuable clue might slip.

This related too intimately to Rem's weakness, though, so great care would need to be taken in asking her about it. Since the incident wasn't public knowledge and had apparently remained a secret up until now, if it was even mentioned around Rem she might suspect that Misa was still being investigated, and if there was any potentially damaging knowledge connected to the incident she might just kill to protect that secret from spreading further.

So, a fake leak needed to be created. Once the incident was generally known by the public, Rem could be asked about it in a more natural way.

L pulled his cellphone from his pocket and called Watari, saying, "Watari, have you watched the video of Misa's relatives from today yet?"

"Some of it."

"Yumiko told me a story about Misa being attacked by a stalker and dying of a heart attack. I need you to hire someone to get close to Yumiko, perhaps socially, perhaps at her workplace, and extract that story from her, then leak it to the press. Once it appears in the tabloids I will ask Rem about it."

"I will review that video footage now. I can probably have someone in place within three or four days."

There was a pause, and then Watari added, in a somber voice, "I am sorry that Aiber is no longer with us."

L said, "Yes. I am sorry too," and put his cellphone away.

Aiber would have been perfect for this job, and he would have loved it, but he had unknown compulsions that made him unsafe to be around, and only a few days to live anyway. He deserved to be with his family, and he was. Aiber's acting ability should leave his wife and son blissfully unaware that this was anything other than a vacation. That's the way he wanted it.

The guards sent for Aiber's own protection had watched everything from a distance, staying back so the family would never notice. They had reported that Aiber hadn't ever tried to run off, and he didn't do anything weird, so whatever compulsions Misa had placed on him, other than the already-obvious not hurting others and the restrictions on what he could talk about, probably didn't apply to his current situation.

Aiber had dismissed the notion of putting morphine or some other painkiller into his system on the last day to avoid the pain of the brain aneurysm. He wanted to be completely himself to the end, and for his family to have no suspicion that his death was somehow related to drugs.

But Hideki Ryuga and his servants were another matter. They were still blissfully unaware of their impending fate, but it was time to take care of that matter very soon. They were scheduled to die only four days after Aiber. It would be completely immoral to let them burn to death in the mansion as it had been written. They all needed to be ensured painless deaths.

The authorities, in the form of NPA Deputy-Director Kitamura and a select few people within Interpol, knew that "one of L's operatives" had kicked the regular police off the scene of Misa's attempted suicide and stopped them from investigating it for any possible crimes committed there. None of them knew why L had asked for that, but it would, of course, be speculated that it must involve the Kira case.

As soon as a large number of people who had been at the scene turned up dead, in whatever way they died, there would be questions. The authorities always wanted dead people to be explained, and even L wasn't exempt from that. And yet, Rem would want the deaths to seem to result from the mansion naturally burning down, so as to not cast more suspicion on Misa. Faking the same result and trying to hide it from the authorities wouldn't be good either. It would be clear the victims had died elsewhere and then had been transported to the scene, or even if that wasn't clear, there would still be many questions. It was going to be something of a mess no matter how it was handled.

Misa's killings of newscasters and police officers for her Kira videos the previous spring had been a mess as well. The authorities had been quite displeased about how that had been managed. A lot more people would die this time, and the questions would be more angry and insistent. But, it was time to start dealing with this. Every single one of those people had to be accounted for.

As soon as L picked up his cellphone and dialed Deputy-Director Kitamura's number, Matt and Wedy wandered into the room. L spun in his chair and held up a finger to indicate silence.

Kitamura said, "Who is this?"

L said, "This is L. I need to ask a favor."

"L? I'd like to know what's going on! All the men I sent to you are dead! They were found last month in the aftermath of a riot in a skyscraper, and nobody could figure out who owned the skyscraper."

L said, "Yes, I know. That was the investigation building for the Kira task force. Only a few of my employees escaped alive, but none of your officers did. The investigation has recently re-formed in a new location. The survivors were in hiding and it took me a long time to track them all down and determine which ones were not being controlled by Kira. Some of my people are dying even now."

Kitamura paused, and L heard him swallowing thickly even over the phone.

L continued, "Kira can schedule deaths in advance. I do not yet know of any way to prevent these deaths, but I can make them less painful by interfering with Kira's control over those victims. I believe Kira has scheduled the deaths of a large number of civilians for being burned alive on December twenty-first, at seven PM."

L heard him gasp on the other end of the phone.

L continued, "I would like the NPA to take these people into protective custody in complete secrecy. I believe they will then die of heart attacks at the same time they otherwise would have burned to death. It is important that Kira doesn't realize we've interfered with his plans, so the bodies need to be delivered to the scene where the victims would have died, and a fire staged there. I will supply you with a list of names and addresses for all the victims."

"Is Kira any closer to being caught? What is going on? It's been over a year with no progress!"

"I am sorry. The less you know about my activities and deductions, the less likely it is that you'll be personally targeted by Kira. If I die, all my data will be automatically sent to other detectives who will come forward to help you, so my efforts so far will not be wasted. I cannot tell you anything else, but I do need to warn you about something."

"What?"

"This involves a celebrity again. You will need to pick the involved officers very carefully so there won't be any leaks. When I had you falsify drug charges for Misa Amane last spring, there were no repercussions for that. I know I can trust you again."

"Who is it?"

"The pop idol Hideki Ryuga is scheduled to die, along with all his servants."

"How could that possibly benefit Kira?"

"Kira is insane, and it is not unusual for insane people to become obsessed with celebrities."

Kitamura sighed and said, "Very well. I believe I can do that for you. There is one more thing. An officer who used to be on your team has been asking to join it again. Since I do not have contact information for you, I could not ask you previously. Do you need more personnel?"

"I assume it is Hideki Ide?"

"Yes."

If any of those pieces of paper were from Ryuk's notebook, it might be useful to have one additional person searching for Ryuk. Time could end up being a critical issue. Ide had been one of the few to not quit after Kira killed the FBI officers, so he was trustworthy to that extent and willing to risk his life, but he'd also been belligerent and he'd refused to go to the in-person meeting, quitting the task force over the issue of whether he trusted L or not.

If Ide was kept at arm's length and never allowed to know much or visit headquarters, he might be useful. One extra person wouldn't be a tremendous security risk, and it might cut down the required searching time. And, Ide was actually Japanese. He would blend in more easily than Wedy, Matt or Watari, being a low risk for getting noticed by Kira. It was worth thinking about.

L said, "I will contact Ide myself if I need to. By tomorrow morning, I will send to your office a letter with detailed instructions and identifying information for all the victims, and I will contact you once a day until the operation is completed in case any issues come up. It is important that Kira is fooled. If even one person escapes from protective custody, it could be a disaster."

Kitamura said, "You will be able to count on us, L. But what will I do if the people in protective custody don't die? There could be a media backlash against the NPA from arresting a celebrity for no reason."

"If that happens, I will either bribe Hideki Ryuga to not talk about it, as I did last spring with Misa Amane, or I will take complete responsibility and let the media know I ordered those arrests. It will be an embarrassment for L, not for the NPA."

"I look forward to receiving your instructions."

L put away his cellphone and turned his chair to face Matt and Wedy.

Wedy quietly said, "All those people are going to die."

L said, "Yes. We will have it staged by the NPA to seem that they burned to death in the mansion, just as it was written. That way, Rem shouldn't be upset. The only thing we can do for those people is to reduce their pain."

Matt said, "And, Hideki Ryuga got his arm put back on and everything. The magazines are even talking about him possibly doing another movie!"

L replied, "We can't tell any of them what will happen. The protective custody needs to be a surprise, so there won't be any leaks to the media."

Wedy said, "The media will be all over the story anyway. It'll be another weird twist to the Misa train wreck, so it'll be irresistible."

"Yes," L said, "but only the crackpots should guess anything like the truth, even after the next leak I'm going to create, so it shouldn't alarm Rem too much."

Wedy said, "What leak?"

L spun his chair to turn back to the computer, and with a few keystrokes set video of Yumiko's story playing on the largest monitor. Then, between bites of doughnuts and sips of coffee, he explained his deductions and his intention to leak the story.

When he'd finished, Matt said, "After that gets out, I'm sure there will be articles claiming Misa is Kira."

L said, "Yes, but there won't be any proof, and it will probably only be tabloid articles. Considering that over seventy celebrities have already been accused of being Kira by the media just in the last month, it shouldn't mean much. However, if those articles do alarm Rem, we could then use them to get Rem to tell us who the new Kira is. Rem might worry that the new Kira will figure out Misa was the previous Kira and write down Misa's name."

Matt said, "I've got everything set up with Watari to test the scraps of paper tomorrow. I just need you to visit Misa and have Rem fly down to your car afterward to talk."

L said, "Good."

Then Matt was suddenly striding forward, and he pointed accusingly at the plate of doughnuts L was eating from. "Ryuzaki, you say I can't smoke, but this is unhealthy too. You could get diabetes and die. You're a hypocrite."

"Yes, I am," L agreed, "but these doughnuts are better for me than you think. Watari keeps track of everything I eat, and he sneaks healthy things into my food. Most of the baked goods have extra fiber, vitamins and protein added. Those pancakes we ate yesterday morning had shredded pumpkin and zucchini in the largest undetectable amounts that it is possible to add. Watari is a genius with cooking."

Matt sputtered, "Let me smoke!"

"No," L said, with another bite of doughnut, "if you want to smoke, you'll have to earn that privilege by being sneaky enough to do it while Watari and Wedy are both trying to stop you. Now, is there anything else?"

Matt said, "I've done up an analysis of the Kira-related Internet posts. About fifteen percent are from cyber cafes and other anonymous places like that, so there's not much hope of finding those people unless they keep going back to the same places. Should we be staking out those locations too?"

"Perhaps. It all depends on if we really have Ryuk's paper, and whether those places are enough of a priority to use valuable time and personnel on that small chance. Remember, the new Kira couldn't have been too paranoid before becoming Kira, or otherwise that person would have been too protective of his or her identity for Misa to have found such a person through the Internet. If Misa found the new Kira through the Internet, then we are looking for a person who was once willing to tell their name to a stranger on the Internet, or at least put their photo there for Misa to see with her eyes."

Then Watari came into the room and said, "Ryuzaki, are you ready to go?"

L placed a few more sugar cubes into his coffee cup, picked it up in one hand and his plate of doughnuts in the other hand and said, "Yes."

After that, it was five more hours of driving around, eliminating people from Matt's list, all without seeing a single sign of Ryuk. It felt good, though, to be immersed in routine tasks, no matter how frustrating it was, or how often L wondered if the entire idea of Matt's list was a waste of time.

But then, L reminded himself that there had been two long stretches without any new leads while chasing Light. First, the months-long stretch between taking the surveillance cameras out of Light's home and meeting Light at To-Oh University, and second, the time between when Light erased his memories and when the Yotsuba-related deaths were first noticed. Patience was a requirement in a case that left as few clues as Kira's method of killing did.

How had Misa chosen a new Kira? Perhaps it would be easier to keep encouraging the Misa-is-Kira theory in the tabloids until Rem was forced to protect Misa. But, would Rem protect Misa by telling on the new Kira, or by killing the new Kira? If Rem killed the new Kira, Ryuk might respond by finding yet another Kira on his own, and then catching Kira would take that much longer and be even more complicated.

Plus, there was the risk that the new Kira might actually kill Misa, and a bereaved Rem would probably just kill everyone in revenge. Rem might even go on a super-rampage and kill anyone who had any slightest relationship to the Kira investigation, such as everyone in the NPA.

When L returned from working on Matt's list, he was more tired than he remembered being in years. It was a deep-down exhaustion, not just of sleep deprivation, but a depletion of long-term stamina and a wearing out of the emotions. When he caught his reflection in the mirror while brushing his teeth, the bags under his eyes startled him. They'd been such a near-constant feature of his face for so long that he thought he was used to them, but they were worse than ever, great, puffy, purplish-black messes, resembling prunes.

L spit into the sink and gripped the edges tightly, looking at himself as if a stranger was gazing back from the mirror. His frame was thinner, the contours of bones clearly showing through his shirt, his face sharp and drawn. His hair was longer. He hadn't had Watari cut it since before his captivity, and it was almost hiding his eyes. The eyes themselves looked haunted.

His body felt wrong, there was too much that was different about it. He resolved to get a hair cut the next morning and to try to put on a little weight, but the feeling lingered, of not being himself. As L got into bed, it still troubled him. He felt as if he was wrong, as if he'd made some terrible mistake and couldn't take it back.

It was such a persistent feeling that he didn't go to sleep despite his extreme exhaustion, and instead went over all the details of the Kira case again as he lay on his back, staring up into the darkness. He thought about all the little details of his current predicament, trying to see any flaws, trying to have insights about what to do. Nothing useful came to mind, and his exhaustion muddled his thoughts, and at last he decided he was thinking in circles and rolled over to his side, curling up and trying to go to sleep.

But, every time he started to drift off to sleep, he had the feeling he was sliding into a nightmare and jerked awake. He felt beyond exhausted, and he started sweating even though the room was slightly on the cool side, and the sweat chilled and stuck to his skin, making the blankets feel clammy and unclean. The nightmare feeling wouldn't go away, and at last he gave up fighting it and fell into a deep sleep.

He woke up terrified, his heart pounding almost painfully in his chest, his hands and torso slipping and sliding in something disgusting. It was a puddle, no, it was mud. He could feel it squishing between his fingers, and he could smell the mud, along with something else, a stench like dead insects rotting on a hot windowsill. The room was dim, but he could still see, and the door opened.

She was there. Misa. She was in a plain white hospital gown. Blood was dripping down the side of her head, colored almost black in the dimness, syrupy-looking and thick, and she had all the tubes and wires that had been attached to her in the hospital. Her breathing was labored and loud, the only sound he could hear. She came closer, her limbs stiff, her movements almost doll-like, the wires and tubes, so many of them, trailing behind her out the doorway, leading who knows where.

When she got close enough to place a knee on the bed, L could see her eyes well for the first time, and they were those same dead-fish eyes he remembered from the first hospital visit. Those eyes weren't alive, they weren't alive at all. Misa's movements were zombie-like as she crawled into the bed, and L didn't want her, he willed her to go away, but he could feel arousal stirring between his legs. The smells were getting stronger, assaulting him in waves with several kinds of rot, the dead insects, the blood, and now something like spoiled food.

By the time Misa had grabbed his ankles and began slowly, painfully pulling herself up his body, L was completely erect and hard. He was sickened, completely sickened, his stomach twisting in knots and different types of stenches overwhelming his nose, but his penis wanted this, as sick as it was. His penis wanted to feel a woman's enclosing heat, and it didn't much care who that woman was.

L tried to scramble out of reach, even though some deep recess of his brain told him that Rem would kill him if he didn't do this. But he merely slipped in the mud, sliding in place, even sinking deeper into it, and Misa relentlessly pulled herself up his body. Her hospital gown flared open for a moment and he saw right between her legs, no underwear in the way. Her vagina was right there, all soft pink folds. He hated himself for wanting it.

But the tubes and wires were scraping against him. Her blood was running down the side of her head and dripping onto him. At this close distance, the blood was looking very red now, and the smell of it was overpowering. Misa's weight was pushing him down into the mud, and he was sinking, feeling it ooze up around him on every side. He was stuck, he couldn't move. She was pushing against his hips and trying to mount him, positioning herself above his straining erection. He scrambled in place, trying to avoid her, trying to push her off, and her eyes were the most terrifying of all, so completely devoid of anything resembling life.

A sudden insight came to him, and he said, "No. This is a dream."

He kept pushing back at her, just barely keeping her away from his erection. He tried to wake up, put his full concentration into it, but nothing happened. His limbs had a slow, half-paralyzed feeling as if he were drowning in syrup and his thoughts felt sluggish as well, as if they couldn't completely make connections that would ordinarily be easy. Misa's damp sex brushed against the head of his penis and sent an electrifying jolt through his body.

He slapped her face and one of the tubes slipped free, spilling some kind of gray liquid all over his chest. It smelled like rancid gravy.

L wanted to throw up. He was so dirty. He was a horrible, filthy person.

Anyone but Misa would be better. He concentrated on her fiercely.

 _Please be someone else. Please be someone else._

Various attractive women he'd known or seen pictures of flashed into his mind. If he needed a woman, it should be one of them instead. Perhaps Naomi Misora. Yes, if not for her prior attachment to Raye, and her later death, she might have been a very good match.

L tried to imagine Misa into becoming Naomi. The tubes and wires suddenly melted away, and Misa's blonde hair turned dark. In the next few moments, she changed into Yumiko. Yumiko's eyes were angry, and she wore sensible business attire with a brown skirt that went to her knees. It was an improvement over Misa's zombie-eyes, but... Yumiko was scary as well.

L tried harder, poured his whole energy into turning Yumiko into Naomi, but she stayed Yumiko and started pulling up her skirt. When it was all pushed up to her hips, revealing no underwear and a vagina that looked just like Misa's, she began to position herself above L's erection.

L watched in horrified fascination, unsure if he wanted it or not but no longer struggling. Yumiko pinned him, an angry sneer on her lips, and then lowered herself and he began to slide into her and it was delicious and exactly what he needed, and he cried out as he rocked up into her. Hot shame burned his face, but his pleasure was rising incredibly fast, all the pent-up pressure of his overwork feeding into his need for release.

Then he grabbed her hips and thrust up into her hard, and suddenly he was coming helplessly, feeling his seed spilling inside her enclosing warmth in pleasurable waves. He whimpered, and then with absolutely no warning Yumiko was Misa again, and his stomach twisted sharply. This time Misa had a normal face, with eyes that were alive but sad, and no tubes or wires. She was completely nude. She studied him with a wistful look and then began reaching down with one hand as if to brush the hair out of his eyes.

L screamed and pushed as hard as he could with his arms while kicking at the same time with his legs, and this threw Misa completely off the bed and high into the air. Her body slammed into the wall with a sickening thud and blood was running down the side of her head once again.

L said, "Don't touch me! You're a rapist. You're a rapist."

Misa was stuck to the wall, like a fly stuck in a spider's web. She struggled there, grimacing in pain, more and more blood running down her body and beginning to pool under her feet. A chunk fell off the side of her head, with garishly red blood and sharp white bone and gray fragments of brain and long blonde hairs rooted in the skin. Then a straightjacket was growing around her, and the metal frame she'd been strapped in when she'd first been confined, and that same blindfold. The blood was still running down from the side of her head, impossibly too much of it, in big syrupy globs, and her mouth was moving as if she were speaking but no words came out.

L tried to wake up, pushing for it with every bit of willpower, but he still couldn't. It felt like he was trying to swim upward to a surface but something was holding him down. His thoughts tried to move. What was required to dispel nightmares? His heart was beating so fast it was painful again, and the sight of Misa's soundless talking was filling him with an intense creepiness and making the hair on the back of his neck prickle. You needed to confront nightmares directly, was that it? L couldn't remember.

He turned to face Misa directly and said, "You raped me. You did. You are a rapist."

A sudden cold sweat chilled his entire body, and he had the feeling something horrible was about to happen. Misa's lips kept moving silently, the blood pouring down from her head as if from a faucet. The pool of blood gathering on the floor was spreading out, trying to reach the bed. If it covered the entire floor, he'd be trapped, or he'd have to walk through it.

He put as much force into his words as he could and shouted, "You are a rapist."

A child's voice suddenly came from the bedroom door, saying, "Daddy!"

L turned to look, and he saw a toddler, just old enough to walk. He couldn't tell if it was a girl or a boy, but the child had his eyes, and hair like his, and its face looked similar to Misa's youngest cousins.

The child said, "Daddy, Mommy is bleeding. Did you hurt her?"

Suddenly L was sitting up in bed, gasping and shaking, and things felt real again. The nightmarish phantasms were gone, as was that sluggish, paralyzed feeling. He breathed in and out, trying not to think about the nightmare. Then he reached next to the bed and flipped on the light. The brightness suddenly flooding the room dispelled most of the creepy feelings. L shifted in place, and felt the semen that had wet his crotch area. He curled in place, sitting with his knees to his chest and pulled the blankets up around him, trying to cover up every part of him except his head with multiple layers of protection.

Just then, he heard a knock on his door. L said, "Watari?"

The door opened, revealing Matt. L stared uncomfortably.

Matt said, "Um, a nightmare? Are you going to stop screaming soon?"

L said nothing, he couldn't think. In the next moment, Watari appeared behind Matt.

Matt said, "Who is a rapist?"

Watari pushed past Matt and walked over to stand by the side of the bed. Watari said, "Ryuzaki, I think you have been pushing yourself too hard. Even by your standards, you're not sleeping much. These things are bound to happen if you don't slow down and give yourself rest."

L said, "So far, it is only about one nightmare per week. I think that is a good outcome considering everything. I should move my bedroom far from anyone else's."

Matt looked as if he sensed the uncomfortable atmosphere, and then he turned away and left the room.

Watari said, "If you did not push yourself to complete that list, you would have more time to heal. The mind needs rest as well as the body. In another day, we could be in a situation where we can add many extra workers to look for Ryuk. Anyway, I have a feeling we might not find Kira that way. You were able to locate three previous Kiras without being able to see their shinigami. There are avenues of investigation you haven't explored yet."

"Yes, but for every trick I've thought of, I need to wait at least a few weeks for it to have a good chance of working. I can't just wait helplessly. Working all the time helps me to not think about things. I need to keep myself distracted."

"Distraction and denial do not create good mental health."

L sighed. He didn't want Watari to be right about this, but he'd never felt so exhausted in all his life. It was like a numbness creeping into his soul, and he didn't feel like he was really himself. He felt as if he might lose a part of himself forever if this continued.

L said, "I will cut in half the amount of time each day I spend working on eliminating suspects from the list. I will also do something vacation-like for Christmas."

Watari gently said, "Do you want to come home?"

Home. Wammy's House, of course, though the kids he'd known well when he actually lived there were all moved away, or dead. It wasn't home, but it was the closest thing to a home for L. L turned the concept over and over in his mind. Would it be good to go there? The case would need to be put on complete hiatus for a few days, except for things that could be done over the phone or the computer, but there likely wouldn't be any breakthroughs soon, and if there were, he could always rush back.

"Yes," he said, "I want to go home."

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

From the timeline I've constructed, I think Aiber was scheduled to die on December 17th and Hideki Ryuga and his servants on December 21st. I may have messed up the dates, but I think it's correct. I hope.

Why didn't L catch Matt smoking before this? Because Matt is smart, L has been gone most of the day every day, and Wedy hadn't been telling on Matt.

Misa's stalker was nameless in the manga and anime and in the live action movie. The name I gave him here is the real name of the actor who played him in the live action movie.

Grinding up vegetables and hiding them in things that would otherwise not be very healthy, such as brownies, is a fairly old technique for improving one's diet without the use of willpower, but there has been a fad over the last few years of cookbooks with those techniques. Some recipes are more successful than others at hiding the taste of the vegetables.

And, in the manga Misa was supposedly arrested on drug charges when she was truly arrested as the second Kira. That's what L had the authorities say. In the anime, Misa's manager had the fake drug charges, and Misa was in custody as a material witness. Either way, it's fairly similar.

If you're frustrated by the recent lack of LxMisa sex in this fic, you could check out a LxMisa one-shot I uploaded, titled "Quiet"


	21. Killer

**CHAPTER 21: Killer**

The next morning, L stayed in bed. He felt utterly exhausted, every muscle sore as if he'd worked out too vigorously, but the soft bed and warm tangle of blankets were somehow comforting, and he kept closing his eyes and drifting back into a deep, dreamless sleep. Watari checked on him around noon.

L stirred sleepily in response to Watari's hand on his shoulder and then said, "I think I will sleep for another hour or two. I need a haircut. Also, would you prepare something different than I normally eat? Something with meat and vegetables?"

Watari said, "Yes, Ryuzaki. Matt has already run the test. Rem spent a lot of time this morning sitting on the roof of Misa's hospital. One of the test subjects is unable to see Rem."

L said, "We need to know for sure that it isn't ordinary paper, or we could end up wasting months. Please obtain at least a dozen subjects and set up interviews."

Watari said, "Yes."

L drifted back to sleep before Watari left the room.

When he finally woke up and decided not to drift back to sleep this time, he felt only a little rested. After a quick shower, he went to the main room, finding Wedy gone but Matt there playing video games on the largest monitor, sitting in the beanbag chair he favored so much.

Watari waved L over to a chair off to the side and pulled a large plastic smock around his shoulders. In the next few moments, L heard the snipping sounds of the shears as his haircut started. Good. Things needed to go back to normal. This haircut and gaining some weight would help.

Matt paused his game and said, "Watari told you what happened?"

"Yes," L said, "we almost certainly have Ryuk's paper. But it could still be a decoy, a piece of ordinary paper that would have been used in some unknown plan that has probably been abandoned by now. I will need to test it to be absolutely sure we don't waste a lot of time and have Kira murder more victims while we waste time."

Matt sat straight up. "You mean, you're going to kill someone? Wouldn't that make you just like Kira?"

"No, it will be an execution, done completely within the law, with the permission of a government. It would be no different than if I had applied for a job to execute death row inmates, except that the method of execution will be supernatural. I'm going to use the same procedures I used to select Lind L. Tailor. Watari is getting a list of criminals who are scheduled for execution within the next few days. I will go over each case so I can be sure they are indeed guilty, and then I will interview all of them, and ask for their permission to kill them."

"They would let you kill them?"

L watched as cut little pieces of his hair fell onto his lap, on the smock.

L said, "Yes. I will probably have more than one volunteer. I will explain that the test I'm running is part of the effort to catch Kira, and that it will almost certainly kill them. However, if they don't die as a result of the test, their upcoming execution will be cancelled and they will have life in prison instead. I will explain the risks as well as I understand them. It is the same offer I had last year for Lind L. Tailor and a number of other candidates who had been arrested and sentenced to death without any media attention. I had five volunteers that time, and I chose Lind L. Tailor based on his name."

Watari said, "Most people who are dying will clutch at any chance to survive, no matter how small that chance is."

"Yeah," Matt said, "I get it, I was just surprised at first, before I'd really thought about it."

L felt Watari fluffing his hair, and then a mirror was being held in front of him. It looked like his hair usually did, exactly right.

L said, "Excellent work, Watari. Would you mind getting breakfast now?"

"Yes, it is all prepared and kept warm. I will go get the cart."

L gingerly peeled off the smock, shaking the bits of his hair off onto the floor, to be picked up later. Then he pushed a wheeled chair next to Matt and hopped into it.

L said, "Could I join your game?"

"Sure. I'll just add another player. Since when do you wake up in the middle of the afternoon or eat a hot breakfast?"

L picked up the game controller to select his player, and then said, "You and Watari are both correct. I'm not living a healthy lifestyle, and it could affect my ability to work on the case."

Matt began to play, and as he pushed buttons on his controller, he said, "You got sick of prank-calling people for sixteen hours a day, didn't you?"

L began to play too, and said, "Yes, and it isn't the most productive use of my time. Sometimes there are long stretches on a case where no progress is made, because there aren't any new leads that turn out to be useful. Patience is a characteristic a good detective needs, and I've been lacking it lately because I've been too anxious to see this case closed. The current Kira is killing about a hundred people every day, so each hour I don't work seems almost like a crime, but I can't let myself break down."

"Well, the three of us will help you now that we've got Ryuk's paper, right? And if you ever get really frustrated you could always give a few hundred people the ability to see Ryuk and station them all over Tokyo. You know, if you're more worried about catching Kira and less worried about leaks or betrayals."

"Yes, it might come to that, but we should wait a few months first. Before then, I think I'll add one more worker, but this one won't be coming to headquarters. I will direct him remotely."

Matt was silent for a few minutes as they both directed their characters on the screen. L tried to remember the last time he'd played a video game. Three months? It had been with Light, during the time when there had been no new leads on the Kira case and very little activity of any kind other than tallying each day's deaths and trying to see patterns in it. Still, he hadn't allowed himself much time for fun even when it wasn't possible to be productive. Despite the lull in the case, he'd spent far more time just moping in a chair than doing anything entertaining.

 _Is that how I am? I do almost nothing other than work?_

Well, there were a few things. Going to concerts, amusement parks, museums and tourist attractions. Taking walks outside. Reading books and researching, though much of that was related to cases or to knowledge that might someday be useful on a case. And then there was meditation and exercise, mainly practicing capoeira, but occasionally a little tennis. Almost all of the non-work activities were done alone, and in comparison to the work, took up a very small percentage of waking hours.

Watari entered the room, pushing a cart with many covered plates on it, a little fragrant steam rising. He said, "Sorry it took so long. The asparagus had gotten cold and I needed to re-warm it."

Matt almost dropped his controller. "Asparagus, for breakfast? You are going crazy, Ryuzaki. Or are you trying to prove you're better than me because I smoke?"

L said, "I'm trying to gain weight."

"Asparagus doesn't make you fat! Cake and doughnuts make you fat."

"I'm afraid in my case that isn't true. If I eat in a more healthy way I'll gain a few pounds."

L paused the game and began to lift the food covers one by one to inspect the foods. He wrinkled his nose in distaste at the asparagus, but it was shiny with some kind of glaze. It shouldn't be too bad. He put some on his plate, then sorted through the other food, adding to his plate some fish, potatoes, brown rice mixed with scrambled eggs and sliced leeks, and some kind of quiche. Perhaps one meal a day like this wouldn't be too bad. He settled back down in his chair and began playing the video game again with one hand, while using the fork in his other hand to stab out little bites of the food and steadily eat through everything he'd put on his plate, trying to get through it by sheer force of will.

 _If I can be brave enough to confront Kira, I can certainly win against this food._

Matt said, "Killing a criminal with Ryuk's paper, could I do it instead of you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

L said, "There are unknown consequences, possibly very serious ones, for anyone who kills with a murderer's notebook. While Light was confessing, he said that anyone who has used one cannot go to heaven or hell."

"Shit, that sounds serious. Do you believe it?"

"I do not like to think about an afterlife, Matt, because I like things I can test, and I am not sure if anything about life after death can be tested. If I were going to accept teachings about what can happen to a person after death, I would not want to trust information from a shinigami. But, if some unpleasant fate will happen to me because of writing down Light's name, then I would rather not inflict that fate on more people."

Matt yelled at the screen and made a few quick moves with his character to evade an enemy, then said, "So, if it's true, then you'd be like Jack O'Lantern. He trapped the devil and made him promise not to let him into hell, and he wasn't good enough to get into heaven, so he wanders the earth forever as a ghost with a glowing pumpkin."

L snorted and said, "There are any number of figures in folklore and mythology who are barred from both heaven and hell. And, yes, the typical result is to wander the earth forever. I hope that's not true. I suppose the earth isn't a bad place to be, but it would get boring if I couldn't interact with anything, and forever is a very long time. Also, I'd rather not spend eternity with Misa and Light."

A sudden image leapt into L's mind. If this whole ridiculous line of reasoning was right, would that mean Light's ghost was lurking around, watching the proceedings? A chill ran up L's spine at the thought.

Matt said, "Well, you'd have Raye Penber on your side. He'd probably beat up Misa and Light and keep them from bothering you. I bet he'd be completely pissed about getting tricked into writing on the paper, and then his girlfriend gets killed and he can't even go to the same afterlife as her."

Meeting gods of death and seeing a magic notebook that killed people, it did make you think about the afterlife and the supernatural and fate and every last creature of mythology. If there were gods of death, were there other strange things as well? And, what about those lifespans that could be seen with the shinigami eyes? If everyone had a day of death determined in advance, then did fate truly operate? Could fate be thwarted, or was it absolute? If fate was absolute, did free will exist?

And, since the shinigami realm existed as a place separate from earth and having a unique set of natural laws, then were there other weird realms of existence as well? Many of those thoughts led into odd and disturbing places, with none of the normal boundaries that would limit speculations. One of the nice things about science was that it kept things simple and reasonable, but there were things out there that went beyond science. How far beyond did they go?

L allowed his thoughts to wander into more and more morbid speculations about his ultimate fate and about what, if anything, Light was up to now. Then he shook off those thoughts and immersed himself into the video game. He couldn't keep up with Matt, but it really was quite fun. He didn't notice that a few hours had passed until Watari re-entered the room and said, "Ryuzaki, I have moved everything from your bedroom to a new bedroom two floors down. The sound testing I've done indicates screams do not carry from there to any of the other bedrooms. Would you like me to move my bedroom to that floor as well, in case you need my assistance?"

"Excellent work, Watari. Yes, I would like that, if you are not bothered by the thought of noise."

"I do not mind at all. Besides, if Kira ever attacks this location, I would rather that nobody was completely separated from the rest. Now, how much should I pack for your trip? Three days' worth of clothing?"

Matt said, "Where are you going?"

L said, "I will be coming to Wammy's House for Christmas. Watari, pack clothing for a week, but I will probably not be there so long. Make sure you have Roger tell Mello that he is expected to behave in such a way that my identity will still be hidden from all the others, and if Mello is successful he'll get more points for it. If either Near or Linda sees Mello paying any more attention to me than he did before, they'll begin to suspect. Matt, that goes for you too."

Just then, Wedy walked into the room, her boots tapping on the floor. L watched her reflection in the monitor as he continued to play the video game.

Matt said, "We'll have to arrive on different days, right?"

"Yes," L said, "I will send you back on the twenty-first, right after Hideki Ryuga dies. You should stay here long enough to see that operation to the end. I will arrive with Watari a day or two later."

Wedy asked, "You're all going somewhere?"

L said, "We're going on Christmas vacation. You should see your family as well, Wedy. You can have up to a week off, unless an emergency comes up that requires your expertise."

Wedy said, "Sounds good. Project Yumiko isn't going as expected. Our con man reported Yumiko never showed up to work. I went out to check on it, and she's working for her Uncle Izumi's paper company."

L paused the game and said, "That doesn't make sense. She hates him bitterly. She's said she'd rather die than work there."

After thinking about it a few moments, L said, "Watari, I think this has something to do with Yumiko's promise to figure out what I'm really planning. Please investigate it thoroughly. Also, make sure the story about Misa's stalker gets leaked even if we have to hire a few more con men or women to get close to her in different ways."

Watari said, "I will get to work on it immediately," and left the room.

Wedy said, "So, the prank call express isn't running today?"

"No, my health has been breaking down, so I'm taking a rest."

Matt said, "Ryuzaki ate asparagus and fish today! You should have seen it."

Wedy raised an eyebrow and said, "Really? What a surprise."

L looked at the clock. It was after six in the evening, and very little had been done. Worse yet, he was already starting to feel tired again, even though he'd only been up a few hours.

 _I really should call Aiber one last time before he dies, and I should visit Misa soon, and I should talk to Ide to test his feelings on the idea of joining the investigation again, and there are several additional things I could do instead of working on Matt's list._

But, L just felt too tired. A lot of things should be done, but only one was urgent. He'd promised to call NPA Deputy-Director Kitamura once each day until the Hideki Ryuga incident had been resolved. L went to a room far from the noise of Matt's video game, a room that had been outfitted as an exercise area. It was large and spacious, with half of it full of exercise equipment and the other half an open area with mats on the floor, for practicing martial arts and for stretching.

L locked the door, and then went to the middle of the open area, lay on his back, and called Kitamura. He confirmed that the letter with his instructions had been received and no hitches in the plan had taken place yet.

Kitamura said, "Do you think Kira will be apprehended soon?"

L replied, "It might be very soon, or it could be many months. Please do be sure you save all videos and documentation relating to the deaths of all the people you take into custody. It will likely be needed at Kira's trial."

With that, L hung up. He felt a little more ready to deal with things, and went into a series of warm-up stretches. His muscles were tight. It had been too long, and spending a lot of time in a straightjacket and shackles had obviously led to some atrophy. After the stretches, he went into a series of practice kicks, noting how everything was slightly off, and how it was tiring him faster than usual. This needed to become a daily routine again. This, and one healthy meal a day, and more sleep, and some relaxation during the day. Working on Matt's list should be reduced to perhaps six hours a day. Watari was right, it wasn't a very productive way to search for Kira, and a lead investigator should do more leading, and less grunt work. Tasks needed to be delegated.

When L had tired himself out with exercise, he felt strangely energized. He pulled out his cellphone and called Aiber.

Aiber answered with, "Ah, Ryuzaki, it's a wonderful day, isn't it?"

"Yes, yes it is."

L heard an indistinct shout in the background, and Aiber said, "Dear, it's just my boss. Don't worry; I won't let him drag me away from my Christmas vacation. Here, let me go outside so you don't have to hear me discuss work. You know, I might have to swear at him. It would be better away from innocent little ears."

A child murmured something, and the woman's voice answered back, still too far in the background to be understandable. Then L heard a door open and close.

L said, "Aiber, are you doing well? Is there anything you need?"

Aiber answered, "Things are as good as they can possibly be. I know why you're calling. You feel bad about what happened, and you think you need to say something to me to make it better."

L was suddenly seeing the chaos of the attack on headquarters, the short argument between investigators as an angry mob seemingly formed out of nowhere and began attacking the entrances, an argument cut short by four men dropping to the floor clutching their chests at the same moment. All of them looked angry, upset, betrayed. But Matsuda and Soichiro had had the most haunted faces of all.

Aiber continued, "You don't need to worry about me. You know, I could have chosen to run home to safety, but I like a challenge, I like danger. I couldn't resist."

L said, "There is a benefit fund I set up for situations like this-"

Aiber interrupted, "It's completely unnecessary. Let it go to the other families, especially the Yagamis. God knows they deserve it. My family is going to be quite surprised when they get all the money I extracted from Yotsuba."

L said, "I shouldn't take time away from your family. Goodbye, Aiber."

"No, no, I have ten minutes. Why don't we talk about when you caught me? You're the best opponent I ever had. Before you, I was beginning to think things were going to get flat and dull from then on. I'd gotten to a level where I couldn't find real challenges anymore."

And then, it wasn't ten minutes they talked but rather a little more than half an hour. L could hear Aiber pacing as he talked, the outdoor wind blowing from time to time, and the excited, happy tone in Aiber's voice soothed him. This was a man who wasn't afraid of death. Perhaps, as a danger addict, he even welcomed it.

Death was the ultimate adventure, wasn't it? Either you stopped existing, or you went into some state of existence that was so extremely unknown that people had argued about it since the very beginning of history, and probably long before that. It was uncharted territory. Every religion had something to say about it, but they didn't agree with each other. Only the dead truly knew, if they knew anything.

When L finished the conversation and hung up, he had a good feeling. Probably, Aiber was fine. Either that, or he was pulling one last con, to make those around him happy as he died. It wouldn't be possible to know the difference between the two situations but perhaps, for Aiber, there really was no difference. Conning made Aiber happy, so even if it was indeed a con, he was getting some happiness from it.

Yes, while still in this good mood, it was time to call Ide and test him for any potential issues. If Aiber could face death with such cheerfulness, then it should not be too difficult to face Ide. He was a little trouble, but that could be good as long as you knew the extent of the issues and prepared for them. There were no perfect subordinates, and a complete unknown would be worse than Ide.

L called, and when Ide gruffly answered, L said, "This is L. Deputy-Director Kitamura told me you would like to join the Kira investigation team."

Ide said, "How do I know it's you?"

L launched into a description of every member of the task force Ide had met, and had begun to go into detail about what had happened at each of the meetings before the task force started meeting with him personally in hotel rooms when Ide said, "Okay, okay, I believe you. You're L. So, what should we do?"

"First, you should not call me L, even on the phone. Call me Ryuzaki from now on."

"Well, Ryuzaki, how do I know you're not Kira? You must have known the identities of those twelve FBI agents, and every officer sent to you has died, but you survived. You know everyone Kira has killed. Early in the investigation, there were some criminal psychologists who said L was Kira."

"If I were Kira, you'd already be dead for asking that question. Also, if I were Kira and I wanted to kill off NPA officers, the stupidest plan would be to kill all those who accepted an offer to work with me."

Ide's voice was irritated and angry as he said, "What happened to Aizawa? Before I agree to anything, I need to know. When we cornered Kira, he died in front of us, so who killed Aizawa and the others?"

"I should tell you that I am using a decentralized approach this time with the new investigation team. For your own protection and everyone else's, you will not be allowed to know much more than what you are working on individually. For that reason, I can never tell you the full story of everything that led to Aizawa's death, except perhaps at Kira's trial, if Interpol allows me to give you that much security clearance. If you are comfortable with these conditions, I will tell you as much as I can about those events. Do you agree?"

Ide sighed. "Yes. Get on with it."

L said, "Aizawa and the others died because of several mistakes, some of them my own. I allowed the investigation to become too centralized, and I tried to trap Kira without first securing the second Kira. Aizawa and the others were killed by the second Kira when it was obvious the first Kira had been captured."

"Higuchi wasn't Kira? Or he was? Aizawa said something about you arresting the wrong suspects in the beginning, but then when we arrived at the arrest, it was Higuchi. Was he arrested before and let go?"

"I cannot tell you very much about the previous Kiras, but we are currently pursuing the fourth Kira. If you decide to work with us, you will be assigned to surveillance duty. You must be willing to hold back if you find Kira. Moving in too fast will likely result in the production of a fifth Kira. The capture needs to be done with extreme stealth and in very specific ways."

Ide said, "It's true then, what the second Kira's video said about sharing the power?"

"Yes. For each of the three previous Kiras, I failed to capture them in a way that would prevent the power from being passed to a new person. It is essential that the same mistake is not made with the fourth Kira."

"What Higuchi said at the scene, about writing names in a notebook to kill, was that true? Is that how Kira's power works?"

L said, "I will not confirm or deny that. If you are willing to work with me on this case, you will need to be comfortable having only partial information."

"When Aizawa and myself were working off the record to investigate Kira, when the NPA had been threatened into not opposing Kira, there were about thirty other guys who sometimes helped us. We were able to call on all of those officers plus a few others to form the police blockade to stop Higuchi's escape. Ryuzaki, if you're serious about pursuing Kira, why not return to the NPA and accept help from all of them? As long as the work is secret and unofficial, none of us should be in danger of getting killed by Kira, right? Most of the guys who quit before would be willing to help you under those circumstances, especially if you show your face to them."

L said, "I may recruit some of them, but I believe that this time a decentralized approach and greater secrecy are essential. The men who died under my command were too closely connected to each other and to myself. It was a big mistake. Kira was able to know the entire extent of the investigation, and then was able to strike. I also believe that the more people I involve in this, the greater the chance that Kiras will spawn endlessly instead of having the entire phenomenon stop permanently."

Ide sighed and said, "Did you at least get the shit who killed Aizawa?"

"That Kira is currently completely immobilized, and there should be a trial once I've managed to get a few more things done to completely prove their guilt. It might be a secret trial, so you might not hear about it, but if we can put the fourth Kira on trial you would probably be told everything at that time and also be called as a witness. Are these arrangements suitable? Are you still willing to join the investigation?"

"Yes, I think so. You say I'll only be doing surveillance?"

"You are correct. You will watch things and then send in reports. There will not be any face-to-face meetings except once with Watari at the very beginning. You will not be told about the progress of the investigation except the parts that pertain to your own activities."

"How do I know you're not just using me as bait to draw out Kira? If I die, then you'll know who Kira is, right?"

"You will end up being bait if you try to approach Kira on your own, or if you react to finding Kira by screaming or otherwise giving away your position. As long as you are very careful, none of those things should happen, but there is a risk for it."

"Why would I scream? Wait, is this like what happened to the chief?"

L said, "Yes. There is a monster that follows Kira around. I would like to give you the ability to see that monster, and then have you stake out areas where I expect Kira might be. Do you think you can contain yourself, to not scream or stare or otherwise give any sign of what you have seen?"

"I, I think so."

"Good. Your NPA record for surveillance work has been excellent. I will contact you again in two or three days with further instructions."

"That long? Why not now?"

"I have one more experiment to conduct, to determine if it is possible to give you the ability to see Kira's monster."

"Fine. I'll wait for your call."

Ide's voice still held a tone of impatience and irritation. L hung up and continued staring at the ceiling. Was Ide trustworthy? He was angry and bitter about Aizawa's death, but that wasn't a problem. Given Ide's character, there was little chance that he'd try to grab the notebook for himself, or for authority figures such as the NPA itself or Interpol. He didn't trust in general, and that actually made him more trustworthy.

If Ide did decide to disobey orders, he'd simply burn the notebook before trying to place it in anyone else's hands. Ryuk's notebook probably wouldn't have the fake rules written in it, since it was never intended to be captured, so if Ide did see a chance to personally swoop in and grab the notebook, he'd have no reason to not destroy it.

It was three more days until the test subject was selected. L took that time to pore over their case files, needing to be sure of their guilt. Every single candidate on Watari's list was scheduled for execution within the next few days, was a repeat violent offender, had killed at least five people and had admitted it. These conditions made it likely they were all guilty, but it was possible a false confession could have been produced, such as to protect another person or because the so-called criminal was mentally ill.

L rejected one criminal from Watari's list for some suspicious circumstances regarding his convictions, and suggested to the authorities that the man needed a retrial. Then L interviewed each of the remaining criminals, explaining that he wished to use them as bait for Kira, and that there was almost no chance of surviving the test. That reduced the list to four volunteers.

Of those four, L selected the man who was the most enthusiastic about the idea, one who had a major grudge against Kira because most of his friends had died that way, Ernest Turril. L had one more interview with Ernest, telling him it was the last chance to back out, and that he'd have about one day to put everything in order and do any last actions before most likely being killed. Ernest was still enthusiastic, so when the day had gone by, L had Watari fetch the paper from the safe where it had been stored and called a meeting.

L sat at a counter in front of a bank of computers, with the paper in front of him, a pen dangling from his fingers, and a live video feed on the largest monitor showing Ernest Turril in a prison cell.

L said, "Everyone, please come close and watch me write the name. If we end up needing to destroy both notebooks, you will probably be called as witnesses at Misa's trial, to prove that writing names can really kill people."

As Matt, Wedy and Watari approached, L added, "You might be needed as witnesses at my trial too."

Matt said, "What?"

"For the murder of Light Yagami. I would like to hide that murder if I can, but it could be impossible to hide it and still tell enough of the truth about Misa to be fully convincing that she is the second Kira. At criminal trials, lies embedded in the truth can often unravel what would otherwise be a sure conviction."

Matt said, "You would let yourself be put on trial?"

L said, "I would present myself under a false name, and as L's employee rather than L himself. But, yes, I would willingly be put on trial if I can close the Kira case permanently. I will probably not get a harsh sentence because of the circumstances. If they do try to sentence me to more than two or three years, I will escape and disappear."

Wedy said, "I'll help you with that if you need it."

"Thank you."

L's eyes were drawn to the paper. Such a blank, pure piece of paper, with neat little ruled lines. It looked like completely ordinary notebook paper. He remembered writing down Light's name, and the instructions that followed. That had been a horrible experience from the very beginning, and the repercussions were still unfolding. Was this an awful mistake too? But, if this paper was to become a cornerstone for a major part of the investigation, nothing could be left to chance. Otherwise, there could be months of wasted effort.

L placed the pen on the paper and began writing:

 _**Ernest Turril heart failure** _

_**Falls asleep immediately, and goes into a deep sleep. One minute after going to sleep, experiences completely painless heart failure that kills him.** _

L's eyes rose to the screen, and he was aware of Wedy and Matt crowding close, Wedy biting her lip as she watched the video, Matt breathing faster. Watari hung back just a bit, calm as always. He'd seen many deaths before.

After forty seconds Ernest looked as if he were trying to keep his eyes open, and then after just a few seconds he gave up the fight and slumped to the side on his cot. L kept looking at the clock, measuring off one minute. Right on time, Ernest's body convulsed, but his face looked serene, peaceful. Then medics were rushing into the cell, performing life-saving measures on him without result, their faces worried as it became increasingly clear the man was dead.

In an awed whisper, Matt said, "Anyone who had this could rule the world."

L replied, "That is why we cannot let either of the notebooks be taken by Interpol or the NPA or anyone else. If the notebooks need to be tested for the trial and still exist at that time, I will demonstrate them from an unknown location and then destroy them. Any organization or government that had a murderer's notebook would eventually try to take over the world, to force everything to unfold for its best interests."

L got up, handed Ryuk's paper back to Watari, and left the room. There was something sickening about killing someone, even a willing volunteer who would have died anyway, while others watched. The first time, killing Light, nobody had seen it.

L had only shown what he'd written to Watari after he was done writing it, with a tense, "I will deal with the consequences, Watari."

And then, immediately after that, there had been dealing with the task force, while Light was already beginning to confess, and the investigators were being traumatized with two types of shock all at once. First, that Light was Kira, and second, that L had killed Light in order to guarantee a confession.

As bad as that had been, killing for a second time using the notebook was still awful. This time there wasn't the pain of killing a long-standing acquaintance, but a complete stranger, and yet, it had been for a rather small reason, and the entire procedure was distasteful. And there was something about having spectators that made it feel extremely dirty. It felt like the kind of act that should happen alone in a silent room, behind closed doors, and not while watching the victim die.

 _I am a killer._

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Ide was present at Higuchi's arrest. Canon never told whether Ide was close enough to hear Higuchi's statements, but of the numerous officers who cornered Higuchi, some heard his confession of how his power worked, because that later became a plot point in Near's pursuit of Kira.

Besides, it looked as if Ide were probably close enough to hear, and even if he hadn't been, those who had heard probably later discussed it with the other officers who had been at the scene. So, I figured Ide knowing that much about Higuchi was justified.

And I believe it was manga only, not the anime, where some criminal psychologists were promoting the theory L was Kira. This was very early in the investigation, long before L and Light met. However, L references it in the car scene in the anime, the one immediately after L and Light's visit to Soichiro in the hospital.

And, I don't remember the exact amount, but I think Aiber scammed over five million dollars from the Yotsuba corporation, in return for fake reports about L, so his family is going to be just fine financially. Other than financially, of course, they'll hurt, but L can't really do anything about that.


	22. Yakuza

**CHAPTER 22: Yakuza**

Setting up Matt and Wedy to go out on missions to look for Ryuk was easy. L assigned them the short missions that were more suited to their attention spans than all-day stakeouts, namely lurking outside Kira-supporting club meetings to see who went in and out, watching the crowd of Kira supporters that gathered outside Sakura TV whenever the show "Kira's Kingdom" was being broadcast, and going to the funerals of local criminals killed by Kira, which invariably drew both pro-Kira and anti-Kira crowds. There were only a few days until Matt and Wedy left on their respective vacations, but each of them could easily fit in two or three missions of that sort every day, and there was always a chance that Ryuk might be spotted even in the span of just a few days.

With Ide, L put him on a different mission. After having Ide meet Watari in a hotel suite and place his hand through a hole into a box, touching Ryuk's paper without knowing what he was touching, Ide was given a schedule to follow and a list of 53 locations. Tokyo was a city of commuters, and the profile L had developed for the new Kira indicated a young professional. The new Kira wasn't even trying to hide the timing of the deaths, which followed the schedule of a worker with normal work hours.

A large portion of Tokyo's workers went through at least one of those 53 locations while commuting to their jobs. For each weekday, Ide would stake out one location per day, arriving before the morning commute began and staying until the evening commute was certainly over. These locations had already been outfitted with extra cameras with very good definition, not the usual grainy surveillance videos.

If Ide sighted Ryuk, it was likely Ide couldn't safely get close enough to determine who Ryuk was following, at least not the first time, but the cameras would capture many faces and as long as Kira didn't realize he was being observed, he should continue using the same commuting route, allowing his identity to be narrowed down. Once Kira was known, it would probably be a matter of simply searching his home thoroughly, and if that didn't turn up a murderer's notebook, then putting him under enough surveillance should show where it was hidden.

If the notebook was found and had criminals' names written in it in Kira's handwriting, then that fact along with the cessation of deaths the instant he was arrested should prove he was indeed Kira, and allow a conviction. As long as the names were there, it should work that way, with no other proof needed. The only problem in that situation would be if the courts refused to believe a notebook could kill people unless it was handed over to them, which wasn't going to happen. If the courts took that stance, it would make it impossible to convict any Kira.

But, assuming the courts would allow the notebook to be demonstrated from afar and would believe its power was real, then the only difficulty convicting the new Kira would be if there weren't criminals' names written in the notebook. That could happen if Kira was smart enough to destroy pages as soon as he'd used them.

If Kira always erased the evidence after killing, then there would be a choice. Either use hidden surveillance to let Kira kill criminals on-camera to prove it was indeed him, or save lives by setting up some kind of trap, like the one with Higuchi, that would show Kira attempting to kill but failing at it.

The trap might be difficult to set up without Kira realizing it, which could lead to an inability to convict him. The morals of letting criminals die when it could be easily prevented would need to be weighed against the practicalities, and also against the danger of Kira managing to slip away from surveillance and hand the notebook to a fifth Kira. Even if it meant the fourth Kira could never be convicted, it would be better to completely block the creation of a fifth Kira. It was more important to end the Kira business once and for all than to punish one murderer.

And, even catching Kira actually killing on-camera had its difficulties. Ryuk was probably expecting such a move. Would he warn Kira? Ryuk was fairly neutral, but he liked his game, his entertainment, to continue. So, hidden cameras would need to be installed with a very high degree of expertise at hiding them, taking into account that a creature who could look inside objects might be searching for them. Wedy probably had enough expertise to do that.

The day after Aiber's death, Watari interrupted L as he was researching exactly where the newest criminals killed by Kira had been publicized.

L was surprised to see Watari entering the main investigation room without the coffee he usually brought at this time.

As soon as L turned away from his computer, Watari said, "Ryuzaki, I've had my contacts tracking what Yumiko has been doing, and I believe I understand the full situation now. A very large amount of money, far more than Yumiko has ever had access to before, was deposited into her bank account, and about a third of it has already been paid to the Matsuzaki Detective Agency. When following the trail of money backwards, it led to the Yakuza. With a few bribes to my contacts within organized crime, I was told that Yumiko obtained the loan from the Yakuza in return for insinuating herself into her uncle's paper company in such a way that she can funnel funds in and out, essentially using it for money laundering purposes. To satisfy her debt, she will continue laundering money for the mafia for at least a decade, but if she works for them that long it is unlikely they'll ever let her go. She hired the Matsuzaki Detective Agency to try to discover who you really are and everything about you, especially the events leading up to the current situation with Misa."

The Matsuzaki Detective Agency, with three detectives and an assortment of employees, was supposedly the best private detective agency in Japan, and could command pricey fees based on its reputation. L knew that it wasn't actually the best; it was simply the best one that had a large amount of publicity. There were four private detective agencies that were probably better, but the Matsuzaki Detective Agency was still quite capable and formidable.

Thankfully, there had been no visits to Misa since Yumiko had made this move. That one connection was the only chance the Matsuzaki Detective Agency had of causing trouble. There was nothing else available, except for things that had already become part of the public record. Being followed back to headquarters after a hospital visit by people who were professionals at stalking and trailing could lead to difficulties.

There was a big difference between the media and actual detectives. The paparazzi were not too hard to avoid, especially since they did not hang out at the hospital all the time. It was simply a matter of making special arrangements with the doctors for surprise visits after normal visiting hours, combined with sending Watari to scout out both entrances before going in, and using a hat and a high-collared coat and large sunglasses.

But, measures like that would not work to throw off people who had spy-level training in surveillance. It would still be possible to visit Misa undetected, but it would be much more difficult and risky, and it would only take one mistake to be followed back to headquarters. Or to have a photo taken that was higher-quality than the two ones with the face covered up that were currently out there in the media.

And then there was the further situation, of Yumiko sacrificing herself for Misa in a way that would bring Yumiko pain for a long time, perhaps for life, and would possibly get the entire Amane family entangled in something destructive. Yumiko had brought this on herself through a combination of undeserved loyalty and stupid impulsivity, but she didn't deserve it. What she'd done was very understandable, actually kind of admirable, an extreme act of sisterly love for a sister who'd had little to do with her for about a year.

L said, "Find out exactly who in the Yakuza has made this arrangement with Yumiko, and pay to have it cancelled and for the entire Yakuza to refuse to deal with Yumiko ever again. Also, freeze Yumiko's bank account immediately so that she can't make any more payments to the Matsuzaki Detective Agency, and pay her rent and bills and have a grocery service send food to her house until the time comes to unfreeze it. Also, find at least one decoy who looks similar enough to my photos in the media that we might be able to mislead the detectives with him. I'll call Yumiko and try to get her to fire them, but we have to prepare for the possibility that she won't fire them, or that they might keep pursuing the case on their own in order to sell the results to the tabloids."

Watari said, "I will start on it immediately, Ryuzaki," and headed in the direction of his private office.

L turned back to the computer, and examined trends in the database of Kira killings while he waited for Yumiko's bank account to be frozen and considered what to do. Contacting the Matsuzaki Detective Agency personally wasn't an option. They weren't idiots there, they would figure out something highly unusual was up if someone had discovered so much about what they were doing so quickly. It would be quite suspicious if that someone was also either bribing them to drop the case or to turn over the case to some other detective agency. Or, if Interpol or the Japanese police ordered them to stop, it would also lead to possibly dangerous speculations.

Weird circumstances, combined with their pride, might only increase their determination to find out what was truly going on. No, the only thing to do to them directly was to make sure they didn't get paid any more. It was entirely believable that someone of Yumiko's circumstances would run out of money to pay them before the job was finished. Still, Yumiko had probably paid them enough already for them to stay on the trail for weeks, unless she told them to quit, so she would need to be contacted.

Telling Yumiko everything Watari had discovered would show her the futility of the situation, that she had been out-maneuvered and out-bribed, and no longer had a choice in the matter or any means of paying anyone to investigate. Admitting that much would have the advantage of virtually forcing Yumiko to fire the detectives she'd hired, which would probably end it.

But admitting so much would also let Yumiko know that something very odd was going on, and that "Hideki Ryuga" had good reasons to hide. It would probably increase her panic over Misa and possibly make her stubborn about firing the detectives she'd hired. It would also make Yumiko think about how "Hideki Ryuga" had discovered all this, and there would really only be two obvious conclusions.

She would either think that she'd been put under surveillance, or that "Hideki Ryuga" had significant ties to organized crime. Either idea would be worrying. But, it couldn't be helped. The best way to counter the threat represented by the Matsuzaki Detective Agency would be to have Yumiko fire them. Waiting for them to lose interest because of not being paid might take too long and involve too many hassles, but if it turned out that way, additional plans could be implemented just to trick them.

L waited until Watari sent a message saying that Yumiko's bank account had been frozen, and then fished his phone out of his pocket with a sense of trepidation. Yumiko was scary, and the nightmare about being half-raped by her hadn't improved things any. If only she didn't look so similar to Misa, it would be easier to deal with her. At least her style of clothing was radically different than Misa's.

When L called, Yumiko answered with, "Ryuga, it's you, isn't it? You're the only one I can never get caller ID for."

Her voice sounded very tired.

L said, "Yes, it's me. Yumiko, I want to talk about the private detectives you hired. The Matsuzaki Detective Agency. I know their fees are too high for you, and then my private detective discovered how you paid for it. Since I married Misa, your family is now my family. I do not want my family involved with the Yakuza. I have paid the Yakuza to release you from your obligations and to never have anything to do with you again."

Yumiko said, "So, stalking Misa wasn't enough, you're stalking me now too?"

L said, "Misa told me nothing about her family. It is only natural to research it, especially since I need to determine if Misa has another stalker and if she possibly didn't shoot herself. Gathering as much information about Misa as possible is the only way that my private detective can start that investigation."

"If you can stalk me, I can stalk you back. I've already paid the detectives, and I'm stuck with this horrible job until I find another one. I'm not going to waste that."

There was a testiness in her voice, as if she were daring him to challenge her. Would pushing her only make it worse? Well, backing off wouldn't make her give up either, not with how things stood now.

L said, "Yumiko, you will not be able to afford the next payment. I've had your bank account frozen. Once I get this sorted out and the remainder of your loan has been extracted and returned to the Yakuza, I will unfreeze it. Until then, I will pay your bills and have your usual groceries sent to your house since you won't have access to your own money. If you try something else foolish to earn money for the next payment, I will not rescue you again but I will freeze your bank account and remove the money. I value my privacy. You have paid the Matsuzaki Detective Agency as much as you will ever pay them."

"Well, then I'll see how much they can do until the money runs out."

It would be possible to keep pushing on her, to tell her there was enough evidence to charge her with attempted money laundering and several other crimes and try to force her to fire her detectives. But, resorting to such blatant threats would make it seem as if there were more going on than just being eccentric and reclusive.

L said, "You are wasting your money, Yumiko, but I understand why. You don't trust me, and you think I'm a bad husband. I'm sorry you feel that way."

Before L could hang up, Yumiko said, "Misa will tell me everything as soon as she wakes up. Have you talked to the doctors today? It should be soon."

"What?"

"Oh, you're such a good husband, but you don't visit her very often, and you don't care about what happens to her. Misa has been following some things with her eyes, just today, and her left hand has been twitching. Because of this, the doctors say she probably will wake up. A concerned husband would be calling the doctors anxiously every day."

L swallowed, and noticed his hands were trembling slightly. Watari did check with Misa's doctors regularly, but he hadn't done so today yet. L said a quick goodbye to Yumiko and got off the phone. He suddenly realized that he didn't have a coherent plan for what to do if Misa woke up. His mind had not wanted to think about her, had tried to completely ignore her existence and assume that she'd either die or never wake. It had been easy, too easy, to avoid making those plans.

If Misa did wake up, what would she say and do? Would she demand her notebook to be returned to her? That was not a possibility. Misa was far too dangerous that way, and even if Rem pushed for it, the notebook could simply be destroyed first. It would be easy to say that a co-worker had done it against orders. It would mean Rem would be free to go anywhere, and extra care would need to be taken, but it would be far better than a Misa with the power to kill. Rem, at least, was mostly passive.

It was very unlikely Misa would tell Yumiko about being the second Kira. Misa hadn't told anyone other than Light before this, and Misa would know the trouble that such an admission would cause.

There was a strong chance Misa would deny being married, but that could easily be put down to memory loss from the head wound, and it wouldn't really change things because Misa's family had already been mined for as much information as they had. It was unlikely that continuing to pose as Misa's husband would uncover any additional clues.

Misa might say that "Hideki Ryuga" was a fake name, and she could even possibly admit that "L Lawliet" was the real name of her "husband." That could cause a great deal of trouble, but since Misa didn't want the Kira rumors to stick to her, she probably would avoid mentioning someone with a first name of "L" since it would certainly fuel speculations.

Would Misa want to follow the plan suggested just before her attempted suicide, of going on the run? L shivered and huddled in on himself more. That would mean an excellent situation for testing Rem's weakness repeatedly without raising much suspicion, unlike Misa's current situation, but it would also probably mean needing to put on an act of loving Misa.

L's mind immediately began mapping out scenarios where being on the run with Misa wouldn't mean sex. Running in separate directions "just for a while" to confuse the trail might work. Also, there was pretending to have picked up a nasty sexually transmitted disease in the meantime, or perhaps taking medication to cause impotence. His mind raced desperately, trying to come up with more and more reasons to give Misa for why sex wouldn't be possible while on the run.

 _No, I'm thinking this way for my own comfort, not because of logic. Unfortunately, the best way to fool Rem under such circumstances would be to have what looks like a loving relationship with Misa, including sex. If it seems as if something other than fear is driving my behavior, then it will seem less likely that I'm the one setting up threats and sending them at Misa._

L was feeling sick again.

After getting out of that situation, and becoming used to freedom and self-determination again, voluntarily walking right back into it would be an entirely new kind of torture.

He suddenly felt exhausted, a terrible exhaustion crushing him with no warning at all, making him want to crawl into a nice soft bed and wrap up in protective layers of blankets and simply sleep, not thinking about things at all, just to have blissful oblivion.

L tried to shrug off his feelings. He opened a live video feed of the subway station Ide was currently staking out, and switched from one camera to another, watching the milling crowd. At last he picked out Ide. Ryuk, even if he did appear, would not be visible except in person.

Ide was blending with the crowd well, looking as if he were impatiently trying to make his way to the cluster of shops selling newspapers, candy and other items that were at the far end of the giant room he was in. Ide was good at impatient expressions, perhaps because he really felt that way much of the time. Then Ide reached his target, bought a newspaper and settled onto a bench.

It was a good thing Ryuk looked so outlandish, was ten feet tall, and flew. Unlike a human, it would be nearly impossible to miss him if he went past, even with part of one's attention on a newspaper.

This was the tenth or so spot check since Ide had begun his mission. During most of these spot checks, Ide had been doing a good job of blending in. On occasion it seemed as if he were loitering for no reason, and sometimes he looked a bit too much like an undercover cop. It was something about the look in his eyes and the way he scanned the crowd.

To counter this, he was dressing exactly according to the instructions he'd been given, and it did help to make him seem less like a cop. Mostly, Ide was doing well. If Kira were paranoid enough to be picking out people like that, there were dozens more in the crowd who looked far more suspicious than Ide.

But, L's mind kept wanting to shut down, and at last he retired to his bed intending to take a long nap.

When he'd crawled into bed and arranged the blankets into a warm nest, he couldn't sleep. He stared at the ceiling, trying to think, feeling as if his thoughts were somehow broken. They kept running in circles and skittering away from the central looming issues. No, this needed to stop. Things needed to be under some kind of control.

That helpless feeling, of being thoroughly owned in body and actions, of being pushed around by the combined team of a god of death and a model who had the build of a toothpick and shouldn't be a threat either physically or intellectually, that feeling, that creeping fear, it had to be conquered.

 _I need to think of myself. It would be better to die than to come out of this too damaged. If I must run away with Misa, I should test Rem immediately and relentlessly, no matter the risk._

Yes, that would be better. A clean death, or a clear victory, avoiding the corrupting influence of maintaining a fake relationship with Misa, of letting her filthy hands roam where they pleased without limit, of allowing her to touch and pleasure and provoke responses, of allowing that shame to build up once more, this time truly knowing what it meant, no longer able to take refuge in delusion.

It would be best to arrange things so that the "chase" would start immediately upon fleeing, so that the first threat to Misa that could only be answered by Rem happened on the very first day of running, allowing no time for rest of any kind.

And, subsequent challenges for additional tests, each in slightly different circumstances to fully test what Rem could or couldn't do, should happen frequently after that, the entire thing orchestrated to create an illusion of a hot pursuit that they were barely managing to avoid, a pursuit so relentless that they could hardly sleep and eat for running, let alone have sex. In those circumstances, multiple attacks on Misa within a short span of time would be fairly believable, the situation just needed to be crafted right.

As L began putting together the details of possible plans in his mind, he felt his body relaxing gradually, sinking into a warm, comfortable feeling. Yes, both Watari and Roger would be briefed on the steps to take if the only option became suddenly fleeing with Misa. This was familiar, comfortable territory, working out the details of just how to outsmart an enemy.

When the finishing touches had been placed on the plans, L drifted off into a long, satisfying nap.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

The new team has fully formed and they've all settled into their various tasks and roles, and Misa is showing signs of recovering, and a few unexpected elements have entered the picture, so it is almost time for the metaphorical shit to hit the fan again. But first, we need a Christmas "episode".

I kind of imagine that the funerals of criminals killed by Kira, or at least some of them, would resemble the weirdness created by Fred Phelps, an internationally famous guy who makes funerals miserable and draws lots of counter-protesters (none of this actually happens at the funeral itself, but rather as physically close to it as the general public is able to get, which is not as close as it used to be because of laws enacted in response to Fred Phelps' activities).

This fic is told entirely from L's perspective, not Yumiko's, so we don't know her thought processes, but I imagine it went something like this:

-This really creepy guy, who is definitely hiding something, married my sister, got her into kinky stuff and possibly shot her

-The police refuse to investigate my sister's "attempted suicide"

-And, the media can't find anything meaningful about "Hideki Ryuga"

-What can I do? I don't have more investigative skills than the media, and I can't afford to hire anyone who does have those skills

-Wait, I could get the money, if I was willing to do something really awful and dangerous

-Yes, Misa is worth it!


	23. Christmas I

**CHAPTER 23: Christmas I**

L kept Matt in Japan long enough to see the Hideki Ryuga project to the end. The NPA successfully took Hideki Ryuga and his servants into protective custody without leaking information or creating a fuss. The victims all had heart attacks on schedule, while under sedation. The police created full documentation of the event, including videos, and L made sure Matt saw it. This was part of Matt's education. He needed to know that filling the role of L was much more than just a kind of game against criminals that was played over the computer. There were innocent victims who were real people, and more of them could be created with every mistake.

It was an eerie sight, to see a large room with several long rows of hospital beds, each bed holding an unconscious person who looked perfectly healthy and peaceful, right up until their simultaneous heart attacks when they all arched and grimaced and spasmed together, and then each and every heart rate monitor went flat. Matt looked suitably awed and unsettled as he watched the video. Good. Matt had seen what Kira was capable of. If he ended up taking over the role of L, he'd be better prepared for it.

Later, when L received word that the fire at Hideki Ryuga's mansion had been staged successfully, he told Watari to get Matt ready and send him to the airport.

Just before Matt left, he came to L and said, "When you arrive, are you going to stop me from smoking there too?"

"No, Matt. I will leave it up to Roger and the staff. I will be on vacation, and it would be suspicious if I took any more interest in you than I have before."

"Okay. Well, are you related to Near?"

Considering the superficial resemblance, this wasn't an odd question. L had often wondered if he'd subconsciously chosen his number one potential replacement to be someone very like himself. Though it was partly Near's fault for being such a mimic.

L said, "Matt, you know that everyone's history is classified. I'm not authorized to reveal anything about Near's past."

"I already know a bunch of things about Near's past. I was just wondering if your past and his past are connected, er, in a genetic way."

"Nice trick, but my past is even more classified than Near's past. Considering that the murderer's notebook can force people to divulge information, I have even more motivation to be secretive than ever before."

"You know I'll find out someday."

L smirked and said, "Yes, you will," and then went back to work.

The next day, the story of Misa's stalker dying the previous March with a mysterious heart attack hit the tabloids, leaked to the press by a con woman Watari had hired to insinuate herself into Yumiko's social circle and talk to Yumiko in bars while she was drunk.

L had been avoiding visiting Misa, even though he was supposed to once a week and not visiting was stretching that requirement. Misa's hospital was under surveillance by the Matsuzaki Detective Agency; that much was clear. Both Wedy and Watari had been sent in at different times, in various disguises, to check for bugs, hidden cameras, and stalkers, and had found all three. Watari had given Rem the signal to follow him back to his car, and once there had explained that Misa was under surveillance by other detectives and that L couldn't visit yet but would soon.

Since neither Wedy nor Watari did anything suspicious or looked anything like "Hideki Ryuga" and neither went into Misa's room, they were ignored. When the look-alike decoy Watari had hired tried visiting the hospital, two men had trailed him expertly at a distance when he left.

L didn't like taking chances, but he knew he needed to visit Misa once before leaving the country. Rem would need at least that much reassurance. And, if he was trailed after leaving, he wouldn't be going straight back to headquarters anyway. Jumping from country to country was the easiest way to throw off pursuit.

When all the arrangements had been made, L had a security expert ostensibly hired by Misa's modeling agency enter the hospital a few hours before L's planned visit, scanning with devices to detect the hidden microphones and cameras Wedy had already confirmed. The security expert removed all the devices and had a serious talk with the hospital's management about the problem of such things being illegally placed in and near a celebrity's room. Then, after one last sweep of Misa's room to be absolutely certain it was clear, the security expert gave the signal.

At that time, Watari sent the look-alike decoy in and out of the hospital to draw away the watchers. This time only one followed him away, and there seemed to be a third watcher, unnoticed previously, who was more discreet than the other two. While the one watcher was drawn away by the decoy, L had himself delivered to the hospital. His small frame was completely folded up inside a large wicker vase that was holding a huge spray of flowers nearly as tall as a person. The vase of flowers was being delivered by a service that would only be used this once. If the detectives tried to investigate the delivery service, they wouldn't get anywhere.

L waited patiently as the man carrying the vase checked in with hospital staff and confirmed that these flowers were certainly for Misa's room. Too many flowers, gifts and cards had been sent by Misa's fans, overflowing all available space, and now those items were being diverted to her modeling studio. Only things sent by her friends and family were allowed in her hospital room anymore.

When the courier reached Misa's room, he placed L's vase on the floor. L waited until he heard the sound of the door closing before he opened the hinged front of the wicker vase and emerged. He paranoid enough about even one missed camera that he was wearing a simple cloth mask over his face, and he did one additional sweep of the room with a scanning device, finding nothing. Only then did he remove his mask and turn towards Rem.

Rem said, "Misa's sister truly hired the detectives?"

L said, "Yes, and I believe they will drop the case soon. They are no threat to you unless they figure out who I am and what I'm doing."

L held up the tabloid he'd brought along with him, opening it to the appropriate story so Rem could read.

He said, "The media has been digging into Misa's past. Normally even tabloids would not be quite so eager to publish the ramblings of a drunk woman, but Misa's actions have created a major scandal. I was not aware of this event previously."

Rem's single visible eye widened. She hesitated, and then said, "That happened before I revealed myself to Misa. I killed the stalker before he could harm Misa."

"Did you follow her always then? Why not just knock the knife from the stalker's hand and frighten him into staying away from Misa?"

"Misa's lifespan was scheduled to run out that day. I watched from a portal in the shinigami realm, so it was not possible to interfere in any way except by killing him. By the time I realized who the threat was, it would have taken too long to travel to Misa's location."

 _So, unless Rem is lying, lifespans can be changed by averting incidents that would cause death. It would seem that the normal rules of cause and effect work, not predestination. Can lives only be lengthened this way, or can they be shortened as well?_

L said, "Why did you introduce yourself to Misa? You could have continued protecting her the same way, and she never would have become a suspect. It seems as if you only endangered her."

Rem sighed. "I admit it was a mistake. I did not think it through, and I believed she would never get caught or try anything as public as those Kira videos. I felt sorry for Misa and I wanted to be by her side, to be part of her life. I cannot remain in the human world for more than three days at a time unless a human has one of my death notes. That way, I would always be with Misa."

 _Well, this line of questioning has gone far enough. Rem might think it suspicious if I keep asking about these things. I should try to quiz Ryuk later about everything Rem has told me._

L braced himself and turned to face Misa's hospital bed. She was hidden so far, just one arm visible, but as he walked further into the room she came fully into view. When he saw Misa's face, she was looking right back. Her eyes held something. Pain and exhaustion?

Nothing else moved, just the eyes. Every other part was unnaturally still, like a statue, frozen in place. Those eyes only followed L's progress across the room halfway, and then they were suddenly blank and unresponsive again, as if Misa's body no longer had an inhabitant.

She looked smaller than ever, like a tiny, brittle doll, overwhelmed by the tubes and wires. Her skin was pale and her lips, without lipstick, were nearly the same color. The bandages on her head had been completely removed, showing where a little more than half of her head had previously been shaved for the surgery that repaired her wound, so her long hair was only on the opposite side of her head. On both sides, her dark undyed roots were growing in, except for a large shiny patch of scar tissue where it was obvious that hair would never grow again. L felt a sharp stab of sympathy for her, and tried to bury it deep within.

It seemed almost impossible that such a tiny frame could support a pregnancy. L knew that Misa was getting extra nutrients and vitamins through the IV and the feeding tube to help ensure normal development, but it still didn't seem like a good idea for her to be pregnant. The doctors had already measured her pelvis, and they said the opening in the pelvic bone wasn't large enough. Misa wouldn't give birth naturally, it was too risky. It would have to be a caesarian.

 _Rem is watching._

L swallowed his revulsion and leaned down to press his lips to the back of Misa's hand. It was limp and felt completely dead, a corpse hand except for the very slight warmth it held. He rubbed the unresponsive hand, imagining it wasn't Misa's at all, and tried to put an expression of fondness on his face.

Rem drifted closer and said, "The doctors say that if someone comes here often to talk to her and touch her hands like that, she will be likely to wake up permanently sooner."

 _I can't easily refuse this. I must give in to Rem with the small issues. But I can place the responsibility elsewhere._

L said, "We will see after my trip. I can't easily visit as long as Misa is being watched, and I am forced to work very long hours until the case is closed, unless you feel like telling me what I want to know. I will hire someone to do that job, and you can do it yourself as long as you remain unseen."

Just then, L heard soft footsteps approaching the door. It felt entirely wrong. Something about the way those footsteps were placed seemed very stealthy.

L ducked down behind the bed and peered carefully toward the door.

Rem said, "What is it?"

L said nothing, and a few moments later he saw a tiny gray disk slide under the door and then ascend to about knee-height on a curved wire.

 _Obviously, a camera or microphone. Probably a video camera, judging from the designs I've seen. It must have been too suspicious to remove all their surveillance devices and then have the decoy lead one of their men away within such a short time span._

L motioned for Rem to come close. When she had positioned her ear right by his mouth, he said, in a whisper that was almost as silent as a breath, "See who is outside, but don't kill or do anything. It will only draw suspicion."

Rem passed through the door. L waited, but she wasn't coming back with a quick answer. Just as he had almost decided to call Watari, there was a distant clatter sounding like a large number of pots and pans crashing to the floor all at once, followed by a loud, low-pitched hissing sound and then arguing voices. The gray disk on the end of the wire retreated and then L heard footsteps going away, not bothering to be so soft this time.

Rem drifted in through a wall and said, "It is a woman in a doctor's uniform."

"What is her name?"

"Shinigami cannot tell the names they see to humans."

"Surely you can read from her name tag. Go read it."

L stayed hidden behind the bed and waited until Rem returned.

Rem said, "Her name tag says Haruki Fukada."

"Thank you. I will investigate this. They probably bribed an employee of the hospital."

L plucked his cellphone from his pocket and told Watari to send the courier back up to retrieve the vase. Then he used a cloth to wipe clean the few surfaces where he'd touched and might have left fingerprints, and retreated to the vase, making sure to bring his tabloid with him. It wouldn't do to leave any clues.

A couple of minutes after he'd carefully replaced the cloth mask on his face and wedged himself back into that tight space inside the vase and latched the hidden door, he heard the worker return and felt the wicker vase being lifted and moved. On the way past the chaos Rem had caused, he heard workers arguing about what could have possibly ruptured a water pipe and knocked over a cart full of equipment.

 _How strong is a shinigami?_

At last L felt the vase being put down, and heard the sound of doors, like car doors, slamming one after the other.

 _I should be in the van now. Only two more stops, and then I'll be with Watari._

L couldn't see what was happening, but he knew the plan and could guess where he was at any point by the patterns of movement and sound. First there was being delivered to a flower shop, to be switched for an identical display. If there were followers, they should follow the decoy unless they were quite prepared. After being left at the flower shop for twenty minutes, hearing the shop girls gossip and complain, the flowers were taken away and replaced. The top part of the vase, only a few inches deep and completely unconnected to the chamber he was in, was exchanged for a new top part that should be an arrangement of dried plants.

Next, there was being carried to yet another van and being delivered to an empty hotel room. L climbed out of the wicker vase, used the facilities, and stretched his legs for a few minutes. Then he wiped down all surfaces where he might have left fingerprints and put himself inside a large padded suitcase, wearing the breathing apparatus from scuba equipment so he'd have a couple hours worth of air without a risk of suffocating.

It was one of thirty-four suitcases in the hotel room, each with a different address label attached, each to be sent to a different destination via a separate courier. In order to follow the correct suitcase, the detectives would need to have thirty-four followers working at once, or they'd need to be lucky.

At the end of the next leg of the journey, L was delivered to the back of Watari's car, and only after Watari had driven a considerable distance did he stop and release L from the suitcase.

L scrambled out of the suitcase and into the backseat with a sigh of relief.

Watari said, "Are you sure the next step is necessary? I'm certain we have no stalkers now."

"I would rather be too careful than end up with my photograph published."

Unfortunately, airports always had surveillance cameras, and even L couldn't just request the authorities to remove them. If the detectives realized or suspected that "Hideki Ryuga" was leaving the country, they might spend time combing through all of those videos. A disguise would probably thwart the cameras, but L wanted to be completely certain of not being followed or photographed.

Using a private jet would allow that usual airport security to be bypassed, but if the detectives had any idea that particular jet was being used for such a purpose, it would be a simple matter to trace its flight path and get altogether too close to home. Even narrowing down the likely citizenship of "Hideki Ryuga" to one country would be disastrous. L needed a large buffer of secrecy, not a small one.

There was also the option of flying as part of the inanimate freight, in a shipping container, but that was more dangerous. Being unpressurized and unheated at flight level required special equipment, and freight workers were far less careful with those containers. They sometimes dropped them roughly off forklifts or subjected them to violent jerks.

The best solution was to fly with the animate freight. Livestock got exactly the opposite treatment. It was very expensive to fly them and there were correspondingly serious consequences if they were damaged or died. Most livestock being flown were extremely valuable purebred animals, or the pets of the very rich.

And so, L flew out of Japan in a special crate. It was about as big as a medium-sized bathroom. It had its walls, floor and ceiling all made of thick wood, had three small windows covered with metal grating, and had a double back wall that concealed a crawl space just wide enough for L to sit in without squeezing his elbows too much. The main section of the crate contained a large quantity of fresh hay and two llamas that were supposedly extremely tame.

L did not trust the report Watari had been given and so he spent all of the 14-hour flight in the secret crawl space rather than the main section. Llamas were known as spitters, after all. Several times an attendant visited to bring the animals fresh food and water, and L watched through a crack between the boards as the llamas surged forward and "rewarded" the attendant with excited licks. Yes, that was the problem with animals. If they weren't hostile or unpredictable, they were usually too friendly.

Watari had been instructed to take an entirely different route, on passenger planes but switching both his flights and his disguises a number of times during the journey. The two of them eventually met up where the huge crate of llamas was delivered, on a farm rented just for that purpose. Then there was driving south as the sky brightened and the sun rose, the sky turning from a wild pink to a blazing orange. Then, finally, the sky was just blue with white clouds as Watari went through the security system to let him drive in the front gate and pulled up in front of the familiar building, the one building most strongly etched on L's memory.

It was an old structure, functioning as a Catholic orphanage managed by nuns until being abandoned during World War II, and then sitting empty until Mr. Wammy bought it and refurbished it. It looked like a religious building, and still even had a cross mounted on the peak of the roof despite that the students, from all over the world, included those who were agnostics, atheists and of non-Christian religions.

Technically, Wammy's House continued to have a tenuous relationship with a small complex of religious buildings that were a mere five minute walk from the orphanage, but it was more a kind of camouflage than anything definite. The nuns there were not allowed inside the orphanage, and the children at Wammy's House were encouraged to have whatever beliefs they felt appropriate.

One student, code named Glad, liked to switch to a different unusual religion every six months or so, just so he could force Roger to bring in someone to instruct him in it. Last time L had looked at the student files, Glad had converted to Yazidism and Roger had been almost unable to procure a Yazidi cleric to instruct him, seeing as it was a tiny, isolated religion with a deep suspicion of outsiders and other ethnic groups.

Memories were heavy in this place, brought on by everything from the shape of the stairs leading up to the front entrance to the way the snow stretched off into the distance and reflected back the dull sunlight. It felt like being assaulted by memories, an overwhelming wave of them, but that very assault was welcoming. It didn't leave much room inside for Misa. Misa was a person for another place, another time. She could not enter here.

L exited the car and got his own suitcase from the trunk. Watari did not act like a servant in this place. L put a neutral, slightly bored look on his face as he climbed the steps behind Watari. He was supposed to be the nephew of a rich man who had orphanages all over the world, and any single orphanage just wasn't that interesting to a mere nephew, even if he might own the entire chain of orphanages someday.

The children here were smart enough to suspect that L may have visited them in person in addition to the computer interviews he sometimes conducted. When asked during those computer interviews, L always denied it, but he knew the suspicion was there.

From the very beginning he'd made sure to send plenty of people who could be the real L to the orphanage, ostensibly as part-time tutors, gardeners, electricians, plumbers, people who came to give speeches on various topics, and instructors in specialized skills that only needed a week or two of lessons each year.

L made sure that quite a number of these people were barely-there recurring presences, gone enough of the time to possibly have a career as L when elsewhere, and yet continuing to visit year after year, as L should if he were truly keeping on eye on the orphans in person. L also made sure that most of the decoys had the letter "L" at least once somewhere in their names, and he gave them various tests to put the students through.

It had been difficult to resist playing tricks and subjecting students to tests and questions in person, but by doing those things only through proxies or through the computer, it was possible to appear in person as one of the people who acted the least like L should act. There were so many candidates for an undercover version of L that it should be impossible to pick out the real one.

L followed Watari through the front doors and into a small coatroom, where he shed his shoes and jacket, and then through another set of double-doors that had to be pushed to open, with discreet palm-scanners built into the part of the door you push on. Children couldn't be expected to go through extensive security checks to go in and out of the building they lived in, and the security at the front gate kept out the outsiders. Nobody should have a reason to attack an orphanage for gifted children, and if the criminal underworld ever thought that this orphanage had anything to do with L's real identity, then no amount of security would prevent those attacks. The best defense was always to remain hidden and therefore avoid attacks completely.

Roger was just inside, in his familiar hunched-over posture, looking pleased and tired all at once. It was a good thing there were so many staff workers for such a small orphanage. Roger did not like children. He was more of a business manager, someone interested in organizing things rather than people.

Roger said, "Quillsh! How are things going?"

Watari replied, "Ah, Roger, harder than usual, but nothing we couldn't handle. The investors are really expecting another upgrade on the Beacon design before April, but after rewriting the prospectus there was a grudging acceptance that it needs to remain in research and development longer, at least until we work out the ionic resistance."

For once, this wasn't a bunch of code-speak as usually happened when these two met after a long separation, but an actual update on Watari's other job, being an inventor. Still, it was a signal to Roger that things had been pretty bad on the Kira case, bad enough that Watari didn't want to discuss it at all, even in code. Roger knew the relevant details anyway. He'd been sent the files to hand over to other detectives in case of L's death, and Watari had talked to Roger on the phone a bit since being released from captivity.

A steady trickle of children was coming down the hallway, from the direction of the cafeteria. Someone must have been paying attention. A cook rounded the corner and tried to shoo the children back where they'd come from, then caught a glimpse of Watari and exclaimed, "Mr. Wammy! How delightful to see you!"

The trickle of children turned into a flood, and Roger hastily stepped back to avoid the group hug that was rapidly forming around Watari. The crowd was filled with various exclamations and questions uttered so quickly that Watari had no chance of answering them all. L hung back. Hardly anyone cared about Mr. Wammy's creepy-looking nephew, and L knew he was more off-putting than usual, with his bonier frame, more extreme eye bags, and the haunted look that had intensified ever since Misa...

L shook off his thoughts and looked down the hallway, seeing if Mello, Matt or Near were coming. As the last few stragglers arrived, it was obvious that the top three successors had decided to stay behind. A number of the older kids were missing too. They probably thought it embarrassing to leave breakfast for a group hug.

L looked at the Christmas decorations strung along the juncture of the walls and ceiling. They all seemed rather generic this year. He'd lost track of the nationality schedule.

L said, "Roger, which culture is it this time?"

"It's an American Christmas."

L gave out a short, sharp laugh, almost like a bark. "Isn't that almost cheating?"

Watari struggled free of the group hug and said, "It's a lot less work, yes, but it's a legitimate Christmas tradition. If you wanted something more interesting, you should have voted on the schedule."

As some of the children began to disperse back to the cafeteria, the two newest kids, a boy and a girl, began approaching L and then stopped hesitantly at a short distance, looking him up and down. These two hadn't been here during L's last visit, and as there were no photos of him, his presence should be a mystery. In contrast, Watari's photo was sitting on a table in Roger's office. L had only a little to do with the selection process beyond designing tests, but he was fully briefed whenever new students were chosen. He knew the true names and histories of these two, though he would pretend not to.

The boy, a Burmese orphan who had given himself the code name Yadanar after his dead sister, pointed at L and said, "Who is this?"

Watari knelt down to be at eye-level with the twelve-year-old and said, "This is my nephew, Elliot Wammy."

The idea to use "Elliot" as an alias was one of those decisions L wished he could take back. It had an "L" sound right at the beginning, and altogether it sounded like a very bad mispronunciation of his full name. But, he'd been younger and relatively less experienced when he'd made that choice, and now the alias couldn't be changed.

L let go of his suitcase, spoke a greeting and leaned down to the same level, holding out his hand to be shaken. The girl took one glance at his eyes and retreated a couple of steps, but the boy stood his ground and boldly shook the offered hand.

Yadanar couldn't be easily frightened by appearances. He'd worked as part of Burma's clandestine mining industry, one of the bloodiest and most dangerous in the world, due to the despotic government's inefficient monopoly enforced by the secret police and death squads. Technically, all gems mined there belonged to the government and all mines were state-owned, but in reality most of the industry was privately owned, based in smuggling. The pay was scarce considering the value of the goods, and death frequently came from government crackdowns or from other miners and smugglers.

Yadanar had managed to rescue himself from that lifestyle by first building a large smuggling ring of orphans, getting gems over the border into Thailand and running con games to sell them to foreign tourists for more than the raw material was worth. Every facet of his operation had been run very intelligently. Then, when the money had built up enough, he fled permanently into Thailand with the five orphans from his smuggling ring who had agreed to come along, and they bought themselves places in an orphanage.

Thailand was prosperous compared to Burma, but it was only a slightly better place for an orphan. Most orphans either lived on the streets or were rounded up to be used as sex slaves in whorehouses for pedophiles. Relatively speaking, an orphanage was actually a high-class place for an orphan to live, and getting there was the result of either luck, or connections, or money.

The Wammy's House in Thailand regularly received reports and test scores from other Thai orphanages, and Yadanar's abilities were impressive enough that the manager of that Wammy's House offered him a place. Then, a year later, Yadanar had passed the additional tests that allowed him to relocate, if he wanted, to the British Wammy's House, for the most gifted students.

Yadanar finished shaking L's hand, turned to Watari, and said, "I have heard Elliot is your only relative. Will he inherit the orphanages someday?"

His English was precise and almost perfect, polished during years of sweet-talking foreign tourists into buying gems that looked nice to an untrained eye but were worth little.

Watari said, "It depends. Mr. Ruvie has a niece who might take over. Elliot is rather preoccupied with the ranch most of the time."

A girl from the crowd spoke up, "They're very nice ponies, Elliot. I don't want you to sell them!"

L said, "Claire, is it? Don't worry about them. I have some excellent managers who could probably take over all the decisions."

The ranch was a cover for what "Elliot" usually did with his time. It was a typical rich person's hobby job, the breeding of fine, purebred horses. The ranch was in Iceland, and even if it were discovered that it was run entirely by managers who almost never saw "Elliot" it wouldn't seem odd. Plenty of rich young people placed most of their duties onto managers, even if they claimed to be tremendously preoccupied with their hobby jobs. It was a typical cover for simply being rich and lazy. With two layers to the lie, it was very unlikely to ever be found out.

Watari was leading the group back toward the cafeteria and L didn't feel like being around people. He was hungry, but large groups were a bit unsettling. He went downstairs to put away his suitcase in the room in the basement he'd be staying in, then snuck around a different way than the main hallway, avoiding the cafeteria entirely, and waited just outside a back entrance to the kitchen until he saw his chance and darted in to snatch a cookie jar. He took it to his favorite window, on the second floor. It was one with a window seat built in, and its shape precisely matched the way he liked to curl his body.

It was more interesting to look out a window than actually be outside, just as it was more interesting to observe the world and events in general through computers than to be there in person. The view expanded outward quite some distance without obstructions. There were flat white fields to play in, already covered with many small footprints and a few snow forts and snow men, all surrounded by the high iron grillwork of the enclosing wall, marching off into the distance. Further, there were the woods, gray and leafless, and the church and a few associated buildings just visible, poking above the level of those branches. It was getting cloudier, so that the cloud shadows merged into great dark masses, and the patches of pale sunlight from the spaces between those shadows slowly crawled over the snow.

L had almost finished the entire jar of cookies when he heard the sound of socks on carpet. He looked over his shoulder to see Near, a flat cardboard box under his arm. This was nothing new. Near loved to sit nearby, as if the mere presence of L was somehow comforting.

Near simply said, "Elliot."

L nodded sharply and said, "Near, do you want to get me more cookies?"

"No," Near said as he settled on the floor and poured jigsaw puzzle-pieces out of the cardboard box, "we will probably get in trouble for those cookies anyway. It is better not to risk more."

"I will confess. The cooks know how I am."

All the visible puzzle-pieces were white. It had to be the blank puzzle, the one with just a small "L" symbol in one corner, that Near had requested and received the previous Christmas. The children did not get presents from "Elliot Wammy" and "Elliot" generally got none in return, but every child received a gift from "L" for Christmas. In reality, Watari picked out most of them and L just gave a final approval.

 _Near has many toys and this is a suspicious selection. Has Near guessed who I am?_

Near did not make further eye contact, but assumed even more of a monkey-like posture on the floor than before, his elbows splayed oddly, his face a tight mask of concentration. Proximity, simply lurking close to those people he liked while engaged in his own activities, seemed to satisfy Near's social urges, relieving him of the need to talk. All his movements and his posture, especially the way he picked up the puzzle pieces with his short, stubby fingers, gave the impression of a child who was much younger.

Near did not want to grow up. That much was certain. And he was a mimic of a sort. L remembered the blank, almost completely unresponsive child Near had been at first, the one who ignored most of what was said to him but imitated the motions and posture of children nearby. Near regularly got hit two or three times a day for it no matter how much the staff tried to protect him. Then, Near had begun imitating L, and L never said a word about it or hit him and the act stuck permanently. Perhaps Near saw everything as a game. You make yourself into what is expected of you, and the world rewards you; you win the game.

Was Near's attitude a good one for the next L? It was difficult to be sure of what Near really thought, but he seemed too calm and clinical, too focused on goals instead of methods. Was Near an amoral person? There were supposed to be measures in place to screen out those who were not interested in the difference between right and wrong, but it was possible for an amoral person to pass the tests, especially one who was focused on satisfying the expectations of others.

In general, the various examples of Wammy's House all over the world merely tried to give orphans a great education. The British Wammy's House was different in several ways. It accepted only the most intelligent students from the other institutions, and before acceptance it further screened those candidates for qualities necessary to become the next L, even if those students were unlikely to seriously enter the running.

It wouldn't do to eventually hand L's power and network of contacts over to someone who was amoral or, worse yet, actively evil. Someone with L's reputation and that much influence over the world's police forces could easily create a lot of trouble and chaos, up to and including possibly building a criminal empire.

There was also the issue of someone abusing the allies L had carefully worked to accumulate, many of which he'd grown to like. He dreaded the idea of an amoral successor using that trust to send those people on suicide missions.

So, candidates were given tests, and only those with a clear sense of right and wrong, or an ability to fake that sense, were allowed through. Obeying laws was not emphasized, rather the morality tests focused on a more general understanding of ethics. After all, L broke minor laws all day long merely by existing under various fake identities and by not turning in criminals, such as Wedy, that he had caught but decided to rehabilitate. In many countries, helping a criminal evade the law made you an accomplice.

Accepting authority was not a part of the testing either. The tests favored children who tended to question what they were taught. Hopefully this was not so much because of a rebellious streak, though there was nothing wrong with rebellion, but rather because they wanted to confirm things for themselves and pick apart how things worked. They were tested for the ability to question assumptions and see the hidden patterns behind the usual explanations, as a detective would need to do.

Then there were additional requirements that were tailored to being able to emulate L's particular work methods and style. Candidates needed to either already speak or be willing to learn the languages that L was known to be fluent in. If "L" suddenly had a problem with languages he'd clearly known before, it would be obvious that a switch had occurred. Candidates also needed to show a high tolerance for, or even a preference for, seclusion. L's usual habit of never showing himself to the police or the public and of going to other great lengths to hide his identity required a lot of seclusion.

The last two requirements in the screening process were making sure the candidate had the ability to keep secrets, and to then have the candidate agree to take an alias and keep their real name a secret. The children in Wammy's House did not necessarily want to be the next L or to be detectives of any kind. Either way, they were given training in all the areas of knowledge that might be useful in a career as a detective, and in whatever other fields they wanted.

Near had clearly decided, though, that he wanted to be the next L. He didn't seem to have any other goal, and even his play was oriented toward discovering patterns and learning to solve puzzles. L watched Near in an evaluating way for a while, trying to decipher his almost non-existent facial expressions and his strangely toddler-like body language, trying to decide just what Near's mind was really like, before remembering that this was supposed to be a vacation. L let his gaze drift away from Near and back to the view out of the window, immersing himself in pleasant memories of time spent in this exact window seat.

When his hunger got the better of L he drifted downstairs for lunch, resolving to get his single healthy meal out of the way so that he could stuff himself on sweets again in the evening. There would be plenty of special treats. The cooks had probably spent all week building up a large reserve of sweets for Christmas, and Watari had likely called ahead and warned them to make a lot more because "Elliot" was coming.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I was sorely tempted to call this chapter "L and the Flying Llamas" but decided that title was too silly for the tone of this fic.

I wanted to show a more contemplative, relaxed L who thinks about his place in the universe and his future. I particularly wanted him wondering about Near.

In chapter 59, page 4 of the manga, you can see the outside of Wammy's House. There is such a strong Christian theme with the cross on the roof and the front gates being covered with crosses that, if it isn't a Christian orphanage, then it had to have been a Christian building at some point in the past that was not remodeled much by the new owner (Watari). The explanation I put in this fic is a kind of hybrid between those two explanations (besides, that gives Mello an easy place to practice his Catholicism).

Nothing of the back is shown, but I chose to make the outdoor area behind the orphanage fairly large for plot reasons that will show up in the next chapter.

Yazidi is a difficult-to-classify monotheistic religion that is related to both Islam and Christianity and claims to be extremely old, though it's unclear if it is.

I realize there's a lot of info-dumping in this chapter about the successors and how Wammy's House works. I hope I wove it into the rest of the story well and it didn't derail the plot too much. I think the requirements I've outlined would put a lot of reclusive or semi-reclusive rebellious geniuses together, since that's the sort the tests would favor.


	24. Christmas II

**CHAPTER 24: Christmas II**

L felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him awake. He blinked a few times in disorientation before recognizing the room he was in - one of the smaller living rooms, only holding two couches and three chairs. He'd been asleep crouched in one of the chairs, and Mello was hovering over him, looking worried. Nobody else was there. Probably most students were either outside playing in the snow or in the largest living room, which had earlier been a very busy scene of games, socializing and watching Christmas movies.

In a low voice, as if afraid of being overheard, Mello said, "What's wrong with you? Matt won't say anything, and you're sleeping. You! And I saw you eating peas, carrots and potatoes. It's like the world is ending."

"The world ends if Elliot eats vegetables. You think too much of me, Mello."

Mello dropped his voice even more and said, "You know what I mean. Something's wrong with you. Seriously wrong. You look like shit, even for you. And that's saying something."

A girl walked past the open door to the living room. Mello's eyes narrowed as he watched her. When she was out of sight, Mello said, "Elliot, are you okay? I need to know."

"No. I'm not okay."

Mello turned away, walked to the door and looked both directions down the hallway, then closed it and returned. In an angry whisper he said, "Are you dying? Is that why you came back now?"

L whispered, "It is possible I could die, but I don't think that will happen soon."

"Then, what is it?"

 _Any shinigami could be watching me right now, invisibly, and they wouldn't even need to be in the room. Those viewing portals Rem talked about - they are incredibly dangerous. What if other shinigami make a habit of watching me? Then, as soon as Rem is no longer bound to Misa, she might go back to her own world and hear what I've been doing. The less time I talk about anything that sounds like plotting against Rem, the better it will be, the less chance it'll be overheard._

L said, "I look this way because I made a mistake. Because of that mistake, Kira captured me and tortured me for nearly a month. One of the Kiras also has my real name, but is unlikely to use it soon. If I die, you are one of the people who will receive my files with the full story. I should not say any more. Kira's friends could be listening."

Mello's face looked incredulous and angry at the same time. "Kira's friends?"

"Kira has more power than was ever displayed for the public to see. Killing at a distance is just one of many abilities."

"That's cheating."

"Life isn't fair, Mello. And criminals almost always cheat."

"Can't you just-"

Mello stopped, obviously unsure of what he wanted to suggest.

L said, "There is nothing to do for the moment, only waiting. I assure you, I am trying very hard to win. I do not want to die."

Mello's fingers were twitching, his teeth gritted. He had a look on his face as if he desperately wanted to do something. If he did become a detective someday, he'd probably have a problem with patience.

Mello said, "Kira doesn't have the right... your other cases... the world needs you."

L said, "Mello, you've done a wonderful job keeping my identity secret. Matt didn't realize until he met me in Japan, and I am ninety-nine percent sure that none of the other students suspect me."

Mello looked a little taken aback. He didn't know how to deal with praise, even though he craved it. He gave out an awkward little laugh, short and sharp, and then said, "Well, if I stay here any longer, that creep Near might catch on. Matt and me will go back to ignoring you. We'll protect your identity."

Mello clearly didn't want to leave, but he started for the door.

L said, "Mello, I realize I've given Matt a lot more time than you, and it is probably difficult to be in the same building as me without being able to talk openly. If you need to talk, wait until you know I'm in Roger's office and then do something to get in trouble so you'll be sent there."

Mello said, "I'll do that," and then he was gone.

But L had the feeling that Mello had decided to tough it out as long as he could to prove his worth.

It was already four in the afternoon. In a few hours the cafeteria would be opening for the evening meal, though many of the kids would probably eat only a small dinner because all sorts of sweets would be served throughout the festivities, and because eating in the largest living room would be allowed for the holiday.

 _Misa will be twenty-one years old tomorrow, Christmas day. It is also the day I would have died if she'd kept to her schedule of killing me after fifty days. Though, it is tomorrow already in Japan._

To the empty room, L whispered, "Happy birthday, Misa," before hopping out of his chair and going downstairs.

L spent some time in Roger's office, not talking about the case but just catching up socially, and then he dressed warmly and wandered outside, where students and a few of the more adventurous staff members were playing in the snow. It was still cloudy but not too cold. L took a few moments to size up the two factions that were involved in a snow fight from behind built-up snow walls, and then wandered to join the one that seemed to be losing.

One of the staff members, Joyce, turned to greet him as he arrived, and as soon as she opened her mouth a snowball hit her directly in the face, leaving her sputtering and gasping. L ducked down, flattening himself against the safe side of the wall, and a 10-year-old boy who was part of a supply line pressed an already-formed snowball into L's gloved hand.

As Joyce clawed away the last bits of snow that were trying to fall inside the collar of her coat, she said, "Elliot, do you want to take over? I'll be happier after all this is melted."

"No, I'm not a babysitter. If you don't like it, why are you here? The kids look like they're doing fine."

Joyce motioned back to the supply line, an efficient set-up of snowballs being created and then passed forward to those on the front lines. "If I don't watch these guys, Linda starts making iceballs."

Linda looked up from where she was crouched near the source area, a gigantic snowdrift that was getting the center gutted out to create more snowballs. "A layer of ice on the outside doesn't hurt that much. Besides, Mello finds ways to sneak a few iceballs into his stash no matter how much he's watched, so we should be allowed to do the same."

L said, "An arms race! Those usually don't work out well. The other side can always copy whatever you do. Nobody won the cold war. The best they could do was to keep their spy networks robust, so that either side couldn't make a single move in secrecy. That just paralyzed both sides until the communists collapsed from their flawed economic model."

Linda rolled a ball thoughtfully between her mittened hands, packing the snow hard and almost perfectly circular. "So, we need to keep Mello's side from making iceballs. I know how they do it. They send in kids with plastic bags in their pockets to fill up from sinks in the bathroom, and then they sneak back to the fort and pour water on their snowballs when whoever is watching them gets tired and isn't paying attention."

L said, "That's a very good system. I'm not sure if it could be stopped with your current resources."

Just then a snowball hit the wall above L, splattering and raining down on his head; a few fragments getting inside his coat.

A boy in the supply line approached and said, "Elliot, you can't use the snow wall as protection unless you fight. If you're just going to talk, move back here and let someone who fights take your place."

L looked down at the pile of snowballs, the ammunition, that had accumulated on the ground by his side just since he'd arrived. The supply line had impressive speed, and most of its length was protected by a high, curving snowdrift, which also supplied the material. Those taking snow were taking it so that they were sculpting out a tunnel through the middle of the snowdrift, probably so that they could range even further for more supplies once the tunnel was finished. This was what happened when you put a lot of smart kids together. If they hadn't been forbidden from it, each side would probably be building a trebuchet to launch giant snowballs.

L pulled the drawstrings around the hood of his coat tight, to try to keep out the snow, and joined the fight. Even poking one's eyes slightly above the top of the wall to aim provoked a furious onslaught, and once the enemy had your position, they constantly threw snowballs onto where they thought you to be. If they thought you'd secretly moved, they threw them so that they hit the wall exactly and broke into a spray of wet fragments to shower down on whoever was close. Nearly everyone had hoods or hats and showed very little of their faces, so it was difficult to tell who the enemy was, but after fighting for a little while L was pretty sure he'd glimpsed both Mello and Matt on the opposite side.

The coat didn't make much difference. Fifteen minutes later, L's shirt was completely soaked with ice-cold melt water. The main fighters on the other side had an uncanny knack for hitting directly on the face and neck, and their snowballs seemed designed to burst into bits on contact, dripping directly down the coat collar.

L even got hit with a mushball once, the inside full of half-molten slop that instantly soaked him, the outside hard-packed snow. But he never got hit with an iceball. The mushballs were probably more devastating weapons, anyway. When you got wet enough, you had to go inside, and the staff would not be patient with too many wet clothes in the laundry. It was an efficient way to decrease the number of fighters on the opposite side.

Soon after his shirt was completely soaked, L went back indoors. He descended to the guest room they'd reserved for him in the basement, got out of his wet clothes, took a hot shower, and put on a clean outfit. He thought about going up to the main living room, a place full of couches and chairs and large enough for all the orphans and staff to comfortably relax together at once. There would be a Christmas movie playing at all times, and various games, but he didn't want to, not yet.

L felt antsy, restless. He itched to go back to working on the Kira case, or really any case at all. Wandering around and just doing leisure activities and talking to people... it was hard. It felt like work, like an effort needed to be exerted in order to do it. Cases were a kind of game that was meaningful, where the play saved lives or helped the world, unlike snowball fights. It was a soothing habit to look through information about crimes, sorting it into patterns and then helping those who needed it.

Almost automatically, L went to his laptop, turned it on, and connected to his main computer, the one in a largely empty room in a high-security building far from here, the one with a death clock countdown. It was also where all requests for Eraldo Coil's help ended up, after being sent through a complex system of bouncing from one computer to another to confuse the trail.

The number of built-up cases was huge, more than ever before. It had been a long time since L had gone through the list and deleted those he wasn't interested in, or those that had been solved by others. Simply scrolling through them and looking briefly at each one filled him with a calm, drew him into the process. This was his domain, what he should be doing, what felt comfortable.

L did experience a twinge of guilt when halfway through the list. This was supposed to be a vacation, after all. Watari, if he found out, wouldn't approve. If an emergency came up in the Kira case, it would be completely acceptable to drop everything and work on it, but this was something else. This was deliberately looking for work while on vacation.

 _I'll just go through the list, and then I'll head upstairs to join the festivity. I've already started this, so I should finish it. I know I'm not going to take any new cases now, anyway. I'm just looking._

Towards the bottom of the list, among the newest requests, one caught L's eye. He went through all the police files on the case and then quickly brought up some news reports too.

This was not the sort of case he usually took. There was too much time pressure in this one. L needed some assurance that he could fully investigate, to explore every possibility as well and as deeply as he needed to. He liked to double-check everything and test all his assumptions.

No, the case had caught his attention for another reason. It seemed almost perfectly tailored to be a temptation for any justice-obsessed person with Kira's power. There were hostages being held at this moment, in an unknown location. The suspect was almost certainly guilty. There was more than a ninety percent probability that the suspect indicated by the police, Raul Alexander, was indeed the kidnapper. And, the suspect had prior convictions. He'd murdered before.

The lives of two women and five children were at stake. It would be easy for someone with a murderer's notebook to make Raul unable to harm anyone, and force him to turn himself in to the police. It would be like a sniper's bullet, fast and efficient, taking out the bad guy and rescuing the hostages.

This was different than what Light usually did. It was a mockery of the justice system to kill criminals who had already been caught, tried and sentenced. If the criminals had already been given the death penalty, killing them with the notebook to prove a point was just arrogant, and it might interfere with the family's grief or with police efforts to make sure all accomplices had been located. When used on criminals who hadn't been given the death penalty, it was subverting the law and thwarting society's will, essentially saying that one person with power should be allowed to force their will on society by using murders, no matter what everyone else had already agreed was the proper punishment for that crime.

And, killing criminals who had not yet been tried, or those who had been tried and acquitted, as Light had sometimes done, was purely and simply evil. Those people were the ones most likely to be innocent, and everyone deserved a trial in a courtroom, not a secret trial by a madman who based his judgment on how the media perceived things. Initial information released in the media often made the wrong suspect look guilty.

But this circumstance was one of the few in which using the notebook might be justifiable. It was also eerily similar to the case of Kurou Otoharada, Light's first victim. There was no possibility L could use the notebook on Raul Alexander. It was in Japan, in a special safe in headquarters. But the thought continued to haunt him. The lives of seven innocents were hanging in the balance. The kidnapper was probably guilty.

 _What would happen if I started looking at new cases before destroying all the murder notebooks? This temptation would return. I would never wish to use the notebook for punishing criminals the way Light did, but in some circumstances I would be tempted to use it to stop in-progress crimes involving hostages, or to kill fleeing fugitives who I thought would be likely to hurt more people in the course of fleeing._

L couldn't stop his mind from creating possible scenarios, situations where the power of the killing notebooks would be particularly tempting. And those situations, though rare, were bound to occur from time to time.

Light had used the power like a sledgehammer, crudely and forcibly trying to terrorize the world into his version of a utopia. But if you discarded Light's ridiculously ambitious goal and instead thought about what else the notebooks could do... if there were someone who only rarely used the power, not to change the world but to solve very immediate and specific problems one at a time, using it like a scalpel, precise and non-intrusive for the world as a whole...

No, as Soichiro had said, the power to kill in such a way, completely outside the justice system, could only be a curse. The killer would experience mental deterioration over time, leading to impaired judgment. An insane person should be the last person who should ever be trusted with using the power to murder anonymously from a distance. Anyone who used the notebooks would go insane, quickly if they used them in the way Light had, gradually if they used them infrequently and just for particularly compelling situations.

The end result, however long it took to get there, would be exactly the same. A crazy person with a callous ability to murder, and no system of checks and balances to make their actions accountable to society. Society couldn't check up on a Kira, no court could challenge their decisions.

L disconnected from the database and then turned off his laptop. A shivery sick feeling twisted in the pit of his stomach.

 _If I had found a murderer's notebook instead of Light, I would not have been corrupted by it at the same speed as Light, but would I have used it and eventually ended up just as insane? If I didn't just disbelieve it as a joke, if I actually tested it, and found myself knowing the power was real and already being a murderer, would I be able to turn away? Or would I keep it around for emergencies and slowly succumb to its power?_

L wanted to be sure he would never do such a thing, but his mind was entirely too skilled at putting together scenarios where using the notebook would be very tempting. He couldn't imagine himself ever trying to kill off all criminals or attempting to create a utopia, but he could imagine himself using Kira's power for smaller, more manageable goals.

 _I've already abused the power once, when I killed Light. These notebooks are dangerous things. I must destroy them all as soon as possible._

Suddenly, L desperately needed to be with other people. The room felt too small, too dark, the walls pressing in. He brought his laptop with him as he exited the guest room and ascended the stairs, seeking out the largest living room, where most of the noise was.

There was a steady stream of students and some staff members going between that room and the cafeteria. L joined a line and when he had passed through and gathered enough treats, he circulated back to the living room and found an out-of-the-way corner to crouch on the floor, eating and opening his laptop to play a game. There was nothing compromising on the laptop. Even if one of the kids managed to snatch it, they wouldn't be able to get into files with anything meaningful or important, which were all stored at other locations. L could use any laptop to access his files; there was nothing special about this particular one.

The noise level continually increased as the last of the kids from outside finally made their way inside, and nearly everyone who had been in the cafeteria returned with food. Several tables were brought in and placed into corners of the room, piled with additional cookies, candy, puddings and pies. Staff members circulated through the room, giving out paper cups of non-alcoholic eggnog and hot, spiced apple cider.

The current Christmas movie ended and was replaced by another. After a single thought of, _How many times are they going to remake this one_ , L ignored it, and it seemed everyone else was ignoring it too.

Near was off to the side, in a corner protected from much foot traffic by two carefully-angled couches. He had a large platter in front of him and was using graham crackers and a tube of squeezable frosting to gradually build a structure. From the half-built facade it looked like it was probably going to be Westminster Cathedral. The reddish-brown crackers and white frosting were a perfect match to the real building's color scheme.

Roger and Watari entered the room together and were quickly swamped by kids asking if they could open their presents yet.

"No," Roger said, "in America presents are opened on Christmas morning, not Christmas eve."

Linda said, "American Christmas traditions are variable. It can be either way."

Matt said, "You know we'll all be down here at five in the morning if you make us wait. You should just do it now. Remember how awful it was when we did a Mexican Christmas and everyone had to wait until January sixth?"

Roger sighed and looked very tired.

Watari said, "The boy has a point."

The noise in the room increased as most of the kids started pleading all at once. Roger raised a hand for quiet, and as soon as everyone stopped talking, he said, "We will open presents."

All the kids became very quiet, almost unnaturally so, and those who were still walking around picked places and sat down. L could see that Mello and Matt were sitting together, and both were not even looking in his direction. For Matt it must be easy, because he'd be back at headquarters in a few days, but for Mello it had to be an effort. L resolved to give Mello another in-person visit once the Kira case was finished. Mello didn't need any more fuel for his jealousy.

The process of distributing and then opening presents took a long time. First, four staff members dug through the huge pile of presents under and slightly to the side of the Christmas tree, as all wouldn't fit under, and brought the kids their presents one by one. By the time the pile was down to nothing, nearly everyone was fidgeting. Then there was a last check to make sure all the kids had at least three presents, one from Quillsh Wammy, one from Roger, and one from "L" (some kids also gave each other presents).

Then it was complete chaos as everyone started opening at once. L stopped playing the video game on his laptop and opened his only present, from Watari. For an instant, he thought that Watari had simply wrapped up his old tennis shoes when he wasn't looking, but he knew those were sitting downstairs in his guest room, soaked through. These were surprisingly similar, but less worn. He slipped them on and took a few experimental steps in them. It felt good. Not perfect, but far better than they should feel. Suddenly, Watari was beside him, looking proud and pleased.

Watari said, "I had someone with your foot size and shape break them in. I think these will be easier than the last new pair you bought."

L took a few more steps, evaluating the feel, and then said, "I think this is the best Christmas present I've ever had. Thank you."

The corners of Watari's lips lifted in a subtle smile, and then he was accosted by kids who had finished opening their presents and wanted to talk with him about just how wonderful Mr. Wammy's presents had been. Only a few of the kids were doing likewise to Roger. He tended to give overly decorative knick-knacks that weren't fun, and he wasn't sure what to do when kids thanked him, being awkward and gruff.

Over the next few hours, L tried to socialize with Roger, Watari, the kids and the staff, while consuming an immense quantity of pie slices and spiced cider. But it was difficult, and he often found himself shutting out the noise and bustle by returning to his laptop and playing more video games. He tried to resist the urge to retreat to his room in the basement and do a little work on the Kira case. Even so, he couldn't resist looking at the latest news reports about the Raul Alexander hostage situation.

It had been solved, at the cost of one hostage. The police had rushed in after hearing a gunshot. They'd secured Raul, but Raul's accomplice, an accomplice nobody had suspected existed, killed one hostage and injured a second while the police were occupied with Raul.

 _If I had written down Raul's name to control him into surrendering and not being able to harm anyone, would his accomplice have killed all the hostages?_

It was a chilling thought, and all the more reason to resist the temptation of the notebooks. Anyone who used them would sometimes make mistakes, even if they were only used in restricted, highly unusual situations. L closed the news reports and went back to his video game.

Soon the kids wanted to sing carols, and an argument broke out about which ones were appropriate.

Mello was holding a songbook open in front of Roger, pointing at a page with sharp little jabs of his index finger.

Mello said, "Look, this one doesn't mention Jesus or any other New Testament figures, just Abraham and Moses. The two Jews and one Muslim can be fine with that since it's all the same. And, the agnostics and atheists can think of it as some kind of silly fantasy story and they'll be fine. They see plenty of those things on TV all the time without whining, so they can stick out this so the rest of us can have one semi-religious Christmas carol."

Glad was at Roger's other side and said, "But that's not fair to me! The rules say that holiday decorations and activities with religious themes are fine, as long as no religions are excluded and nobody is forced to participate in something they don't want. This is participation. I'll either have to listen to it, or I'll have to go to one of the sound-proof rooms."

Mello said, "This is a joke, Roger, and you know it. If Glad had any real faith, he wouldn't switch religions two or three times a year. When he was a Yazidi, he would have been just fine with this carol. Now he doesn't even have a real religion. There is no such thing as a Satanic Buddhist. Those are two completely incompatible religions."

Glad knocked the songbook to the floor and said, "I'm a Buddhist Satanist, not a Satanic Buddhist! And religious syncretism is a valid process. Try getting your facts straight, Mello. There are thousands of people in Haiti who consider Voodoo and Catholicism to be perfectly compatible. And if nobody had ever thought Islam and Hinduism were compatible, Sikhism wouldn't exist."

The room at once erupted in multiple conversations, some defending Glad, others defending Mello, and altogether it sounded like a college-level comparative religions class.

 _I wonder if there really is a God, or gods, who exist and are also worthy of being worshipped. There certainly are false gods, and things that exist but don't deserve worship. Have humans ever worshipped shinigami? They probably have. History shows that humans will worship anything, including rocks, fire, and the food they eat._

As the argument continued, L picked up a mincemeat tart and looked at it critically before taking a bite.

 _It's a great thing, but I'd never want to worship it. People can be such idiots._

The argument gradually died out without any Christmas carols being agreed on. Roger looked rather relieved to be let out of that dilemma so easily. As it became later, the kids dispersed more through the building. L could hear remote-control cars and trucks going up and down the hallways, along with quite a bit of laughing and talking.

Shortly before midnight, L's cellphone went off. He pulled it out and looked at it. It wasn't actually a phone call; it was an automatic notification. Ide must have seen Ryuk. L's heart was instantly pounding, his mouth dry. It might be the end of everything, closing the Kira case forever.

There were soundproof rooms in the basement, but there were too many kids to get past on the way there. Every second counted in a situation like this. There was only one way to get fast privacy. L slipped his shoes on and sprinted for the door, his laptop computer under one arm, stumbling out into the snow without a coat. He ran to the middle of an open field and sat down, opening his laptop and calling Ide at the same time.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

If you don't know what a trebuchet is, search for it on youtube.

Linda is a very minor canon character. She's the one who, in canon, drew pictures of Mello and Near for the Kira task force to use.


	25. Christmas III

**CHAPTER 25: Christmas III**

L ignored the winter chill seeping upward from the snow he was crouched on, and turned his back to the biting wind. That was simply the price of fast privacy. All his attention was on his laptop, where his fingers were quickly dancing over the keys and bringing up multiple camera views of the subway station Ide should be in. The cellphone L was holding to his ear only rang a couple of times before Ide answered, but Ide didn't talk to L directly.

No, Ide was in the middle of a narration that he must have started, according to the orders he'd been given, the moment he saw Ryuk. Ide was talking into his cellphone, accessing a recording feature that continuously sent the audio file to a secure location. It was a running commentary on where Ryuk was at any given moment, and it could be accessed even if Ide died right away. Ide's audio recording had an automatic timestamp on it. That way, even though Ryuk didn't show up on video, it would be possible to know where Ryuk was in later viewings by matching the timing of the audio commentary to any particular video.

Rem's limit was about a hundred meters. So, right away, Kira suspects could be narrowed down to people within that radius of Ryuk. All their faces were being caught on camera, and the next time Ryuk was spotted, comparing faces between the two events should allow the number of Kira suspects to be narrowed down to a small number of people, perhaps even just one.

L put eight different camera views on his screen at once, looking for Ide's position and for the empty space where Ide was describing Ryuk to be. In a few moments, he'd picked out Ide and had also determined Ryuk's position. This was bad.

Into the phone, L said, "Ide, you're too close. There's a very high chance Kira uses this commuting route every day. It would be pointless to die. We can probably get enough evidence to determine his identity on his commute tomorrow."

Ide interrupted his ongoing narration of Ryuk's position to say, "It's a little too late for a normal morning commute, and it's Christmas, so he could have the day off. He might never commute on this route for his ordinary workday. I don't want to risk losing him."

L tried to ignore the wind at his back and said, "That was not the plan. If we want to catch Kira in a way that allows for a conviction, we can't risk letting him know we are following him. Just because Ryuk follows someone, it doesn't mean any court will believe that person is Kira. We need more evidence than just Ryuk's presence, and to get more we must surprise Kira."

Ide said, "Ryuk's going on the train. He went right through the train's wall, just behind that newspaper stand next to the guy with the green jacket. If I get on the train, I can see which stop he gets off on. Yes, he looks like he's settling down inside. I can't tell if he's following anyone. There are too many people."

All the subway cars were packed, nearly wall-to-wall bodies. L imagined Ryuk must actually be overlapping with many people to be inside there at all.

L said, "If I cannot convince you to give up following Ryuk, then please stay as far back as you can while still seeing Ryuk. Also, be careful what you say in case you're overheard, and don't look directly at him. Please put the camera I gave you onto your tie and turn it on. It will be the only view of the situation I have."

Ide said, "It's fine, I'm getting on another car."

Then Ide dropped back into his narration of where Ryuk was. Basically, Ryuk was staying in the same place but jumping around a bit, perhaps to entertain himself, and once he even clung to the ceiling of the subway car. The train started moving, and then the high-resolution cameras L had previously installed at all the locations Ide had been due to visit were left behind. Then there was only the mini-camera disguised as a tie pin that Ide was wearing, and it was mostly blocked by the bodies mashed everywhere around him.

 _Ide doesn't want to obey, but I can understand his frustration. Seeing Ryuk and then just letting him go, not knowing if he'll come back the same way or not, it would be difficult. I really have no authority other than what the police allow me. I could get Deputy-Director Kitamura to reprimand Ide for disobeying, but that would probably serve no purpose now and would only cause Ide to distrust me further. Besides, Ide is skilled at trailing. There is a good chance he won't get caught, and will instead bring clues in faster._

Ide's narration of where Ryuk was became intermittent, seldom speaking since Ryuk was mostly staying in the same place. L's only view of things rarely showed anything other than the shoulders of those standing close to Ide. L used the time to comb back through the footage that must have caught Kira's face, looking at the specific places where Ryuk was said to be and trying to determine if any nearby humans looked as if they were talking to an invisible presence. Nobody stood out as looking suspicious, and there were so many people crammed together that their sheer numbers would obscure any Kira among them.

It was a long twenty minutes until the subway train stopped. L had to move his laptop several times, as its warmth tended to melt the snow underneath it. His shoes and crouched posture protected his butt from the same fate, but his fingers, ear tips and lips were becoming numb and he had to rub them to keep the circulation going. The lack of a coat was a problem as well, but putting his back to the wind and using the partial shelter of a snowdrift helped. L looked around every few minutes to be sure nobody was approaching, but all was quiet, nothing moving.

When the train stopped, Ide said, "I'll let him get as far ahead as possible. He's big and easy to spot, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Ide waited on the train until most of those leaving had left, and then he exited, still narrating. Ide had actually lost sight of Ryuk, but it was a small subway station, and when he ascended to street level he saw Ryuk some distance away. L had Ide adjust the tie-pin camera's angle so it pointed more at face level. The street wasn't very crowded, so there was a good chance of being able to narrow Kira down quite a bit, but Ryuk was at a distance, so none of those people were being caught with much clarity, and mostly they were being caught from the back.

Ide said, "It appears that Ryuk is staying close to that knot of five people. See, they just passed the streetlamp in front of that bakery?"

L said, "I see."

"I'm going to go onto a side street and try to work around in front of them, then pass them from the other direction. That way, I should get their faces on video."

"What you are suggesting is extremely dangerous. To get that close, you will need to stop talking about Ryuk's position and make absolutely no sign you've seen him. Also, if Kira has a good memory he might remember you if you try to trail him another day, and then attack. It may become unsafe to use you for any more work after once letting Kira see your face. Many men under my command have already died. I would feel terrible if you did as well."

Ide launched into the script of innocuous topics that L had previously given him, to use if he was possibly getting too close to Kira. Instead of talking about the position of Ryuk, Ide was now talking about a fictional night on the town with drinking buddies. He worked his way over to a side street, stopped speaking long enough to run quite a distance ahead, and then returned to the script as he cut over and back to the same street Ryuk had been traveling down.

L immediately recognized the loosely-associated knot of people, except that one had left in the meantime. Were the four remaining people together, or merely traveling the same direction at roughly the same speed? Their body language didn't look as if they were acknowledging each other's presence. Probably just a coincidence.

L said, "When you pass the closest to Ryuk, start the portion about karaoke."

The people were getting close enough that their faces were now recognizable. L went over the previous footage showing everyone who had been within range of Ryuk in the time before Ide rode the subway train, having twelve video clips open at once and desperately combing through them, looking for any of the four faces. He quickly found a match. It was someone who had been close to Ryuk's position before and was one of those Ide was now approaching. Coincidence? The only way to be sure would be to exhaustively search the videos for the other three faces, and that would take hours.

Right as Ide passed them, he mentioned karaoke. So, Ryuk was still with this bunch. He hadn't wandered to the other side of the street or fallen behind or gone forward. Unless Ryuk was trying to make some other person seem like Kira, then Kira almost certainly had to be in that group.

L quickly created an image file that showed his main Kira suspect's face straight-on, and began running a program to search through all Tokyo-area Japanese driver's license photos and use facial recognition software to find a match. Just a few years ago, this type of database query generally took all day to search through millions of faces and perform facial-recognition calculations for each one, but the time involved had improved considerably. Before too long, there would be a name to attach to that face, even if Kira himself slipped away entirely.

As Ide left them behind, his voice developed a strained quality, and he ducked into a soba restaurant shortly afterward, then stopped talking altogether, breathing heavily. Ide quickly slipped into a booth and held a menu up in front of himself, waving the attendant away.

L said, "Ide, what's wrong? I believe Kira was the man with the black shirt and gray tie. I do not think you were noticed or followed."

In a choked whisper, Ide said, "Ryuk is here. He's talking to me."

L said, "Quickly, bribe him with apples to go away and not mention you to Kira."

Ide said, "If I give you this, will you leave and never talk about me?"

From the tie-pin camera, L could see Ide's hand enter the frame, holding one of the apples Ide had been instructed to have on his person at all times. He moved the menu to cover it from the other customers, but L could still see part of the apple, and it disappeared into the air with crunching sounds.

Ide suddenly gasped, and then slipped under the table. He said, "He's here. The guy in the black shirt and gray tie."

 _This is bad. This Kira has been only rarely missing criminals with misspelled names. Ide could die._

L said, "He's seen your face and is suspicious of you. There is only one way to ensure you won't be killed; if he knows he'll be proven as Kira if you die. Go to him quickly, and let me talk to him. Otherwise, he'll try to control you into revealing what you know. If he runs or doesn't cooperate or even puts his hands out of sight, arrest him immediately."

Ide hesitated, then quickly slipped out from under the table and approached the man.

L saw Ide's hand holding out the phone, and Ide said, "There's someone who wants to talk with you."

The man looked surprised, then slowly took the phone and said, "Yes, who is this?"

L said, "This is L. I suspect you are Kira. If you kill the man who gave you the phone, your guilt will be proven and you will be executed."

The look of surprised deepened for a moment, and then the man said, "Ryuk told me this might happen."

"So you do admit it. You are Kira."

"I'm nothing of the sort. I don't do anything."

The man's voice was filled with intense emotion. There was a kind of snide, righteous tone to it. Was it the tone of a fanatic?

 _The element of surprise has been lost. Should I assume that the notebook will be easy to find, and that it will have criminals' names in his handwriting in it? If this Kira is let out of sight, he might try to kill Ide regardless of the danger to himself._

L said, "I'd like you to explain why a shinigami follows you."

L stared at his computer screen, watching the progress of the facial recognition software. If luck were with him, it would give him Kira's name right away. With that known, more plans could be made. But, if the name wasn't found until near the end of the entire database...

In a testy, impatient tone, the man said, "I have no idea. Perhaps you can explain it to me. Or maybe this is an elaborate joke the two of you are playing. I have no reason to believe you are who you claim to be."

 _This one isn't very intelligent. I might be able to bluff him into giving up and confessing._

L said, "You just contradicted yourself. If you were already suspecting L would track you down, then you have no particular reason to think I'm a fake L. I already have your photo. The undercover police officer who gave you the phone has a hidden camera on his tie-"

"The police would have shown me a badge right away. I can only conclude that this is some silly prank. I'm calling the real police."

Through Ide's camera tie, L saw the man pulling his own cellphone from a pocket, and at the same time, the man's other hand suddenly darted exactly to the camera lens, seeming to become huge from perspective, and then everything went black.

L heard Ide's voice in the background, saying, "He's out! He's out!"

There were yells, probably from bystanders, and then a number of indistinct sounds, some perhaps being the rustling and clicking of the wooden curtain at the entrance to the restaurant. The signal from the tie-pin camera was entirely lost; it must have been crushed. Only the cellphone audio was still occurring, but all sounds heard through it seemed like background noise, except for breathing that was steadily getting louder.

L said, "Are you still there?"

Nobody answered.

 _Now is the time to bluff him, before he drops the phone._

L said, "Kira, I have your photo and I already have another Kira in custody who has the eyes. If you do not immediately turn yourself in, I will assume you are trying to kill my agents. In that case I will not hesitate to control you and kill you as soon as I find your name. It does not matter where you run. If you cooperate the courts will give you a far kinder sentence than you would get from me if you persist in escaping."

The panting stopped for a moment, and Ide's voice said, "It's me. He's running but he's still in sight. There are too many people in the way to shoot him."

"I'll call back-up."

L quickly connected his computer to Deputy-Director Kitamura's cellphone, sending him a photo of the Kira suspect and the location, and having him give orders to police in the area to arrest that man.

In three minutes, police wearing face-protecting helmets had surrounded the new Kira. The new Kira gave up almost instantly, though he didn't admit any guilt. He was still pretending that hadn't really been trying to flee arrest, but had simply thought that a prankster was targeting him. He said nothing about L or Ryuk.

As soon as L knew the man was cuffed and blindfolded, L said to Ide, "I've already sent special instructions to Deputy-Director Kitamura for how the Kira suspect's confinement should be arranged, to minimize contact with others. One of my agents should arrive to take custody tomorrow. Did Kira do anything while he ran from you?"

"He talked to someone on his cellphone."

 _Does this Kira have an accomplice? Is Ide now controlled?_

"Ide, it is possible Kira may have scheduled your death, and that you might be controlled into doing some task for him in the meantime, perhaps something that will help him escape. I would like to have Deputy-Director Kitamura take you off the case and put you under protective custody for twenty-three days to see whether this is so."

"I don't trust you. Now that we've caught him, the NPA should handle the case from now on, and you should come clean about the secrets you've been hiding. I don't see why we should just hand him over to your custody. In case you've forgotten, I heard what you threatened to do to him."

"That was a bluff designed to save your life."

Ide dropped his voice and said, "Regardless, you admitted to having Kira's power yourself. How do I know you aren't just trying to eliminate all the competition, so that you'll be the only one in the world with this kind of power?"

"As before, the only assurance I can offer you is that you're still alive after asking questions like that."

"That makes sense, but there's too much else that doesn't."

"We still haven't truly caught Kira, since we're lacking proof. If we can get the proof, you will probably testify at his trial and at that time you'll be briefed on everything. You understand why I can't tell you any more now? You could be Kira's agent, unknown even to yourself. Do you consent to protective custody?"

Ide let out a disgusted sigh, and then said, "Yes."

"Thank you. I will arrange it to be as comfortable as possible. May I talk with one of the other officers?"

When Ide had handed his cellphone over and the other officer answered, L said, "This is L. Please search the prisoner immediately. Put him into different clothing and place all items into evidence bags. If he has identification on him, please tell me his name immediately."

As the officers searched, L sent more information through his laptop to Kitamura, detailing how Ide's protective custody should be arranged. In less than a minute, he had the prisoner's name. Teru Mikami. Through Kitamura, L immediately ordered more NPA officers to set up around-the-clock surveillance on Mikami's home and workplace, filming all persons who tried to enter or leave either place and arresting anyone who entered Mikami's home the second they left.

L also arranged for the NPA to find out whom Mikami had called at the last moment, and to put that person under similar surveillance, and to arrest them at the slightest sign of suspicious activity. Mikami had erased his call records from his cellphone, but the phone company would still have that data. L made sure the NPA officers had orders to not search or enter any of those places. If there were a notebook in an obvious place, it would be best to keep it from getting discovered by NPA personnel.

 _Still, this Kira gave up too easily. The notebook must be well hidden._

As L finished up the last bit of conversation with Kitamura, making sure Mikami wouldn't be spoiled with questions before L's agent arrived to take over custody, he started truly feeling the cold. The wind had died down so the air was nearly still, and the large snowdrift had performed a protective function to divert some of the wind, but being outside without a coat, hat or gloves for so long was still a bad idea. L rubbed his hands and ear tips vigorously, then turned off his laptop, picked it up, and stood with a creaking sensation in his bones. Blood was starting to rush into areas that had been partly numb, and they all prickled fiercely.

When L turned around, he saw a pale little form detach itself from the landscape, rising from a very low crouch into a slightly higher one. By having his back face one direction for so long, Near had snuck up on him. His hair, pajamas and even the slippers he wore matched the snow almost perfectly.

Near said, "You are L."

It was not a question but a simple statement, and it was too calm, even considering that this was Near, who had "calm" down to an art form. It wasn't a new discovery, not by any means.

L said, "How long have you known?"

Near said, "I've known almost the entire time I've lived here. It's because you're too unsuspicious. You act the least like L should act."

 _That's one of the reasons I suspected Light so much. Highly unusual things often happened in order to make him appear unsuspicious. It was too convenient._

Near continued, "But there was more confirmation from Mello's recent behavior. It's easy to guess that he met L in person a little more than a year ago. And, now that you visit in person, he is suddenly ignoring you completely."

L began walking toward the main building of the orphanage and said, "I should have a private meeting with you as soon as possible, but I must return to Japan immediately. I'm sure you understand."

Near fell in step behind L. L could hear the steady crunching of Near's footsteps in the snow.

Near said, "Yes. I have a question. It sounds as if you might die soon. Have you chosen a successor yet?"

"When I think about it, I have trouble deciding. If you had an interest in learning real-life skills and the ability to take action in uncertain situations, it would certainly be you. If Mello could hold himself back from impulsive, violent reactions, it would certainly be him. I'm hoping that one of you will overcome those obstacles with more time."

Near said, "I see."

L stopped and turned toward Near. "My fingers are numb and your face is bright red. We need to go inside, and we should not be talking about these things too close to the building."

Near twined a finger in his hair, circling one curl over and over again. "No. You'll just ignore me again. Being cold is worth it, to get some answers. Who would you choose if you had to right now?"

"I think you two should consider being a team. Many law enforcement agencies already think L is probably two or more people."

"I would do that. Mello won't. Why don't you just tell him to do it?"

"Because he idolizes me so much that telling him to do it would be the same as forcing him to do it. Mello needs to make his own decisions."

Near said, "Were you raised in one of Mr. Wammy's orphanages? Perhaps even this one?"

L replied, "That is classified information, and the records have all been destroyed."

L took a slight detour that would bring them around to the front entrance instead, a slightly longer route for talking.

Near said, "I heard what you said on the phone. You just want power?"

"No. That was a bluff. Kira's power is a little bit contagious. You'll understand how it actually works if I die and you inherit my files. I have Kira's power. I only used it twice and the results have been unimaginably horrible. I hope to destroy the power and never use it again."

Near said, "You know their names, don't you? You could just kill all the Kiras, control them to confess and solve the case. That would be efficient."

"It would be incredibly immoral and a lazy way to solve the case. I would also die if I did that."

As they approached the entrance, Near fell quiet, looking thoughtful, his finger twirling endlessly around a single curl. When they went through the coatroom and came out into the main hallway, snow melting in their hair, the several children who were running races there with remote-controlled vehicles began yelling in surprise.

Linda poked her head around a corner and said, "Near went outside? In this snow? He doesn't even go outside in the summer."

Near said, "I have to put on too much sunscreen to go outside in the summer. At night there isn't any need."

Mello popped out of a doorway and watched the proceedings with narrowed eyes and his arms crossed.

 _I don't have time to deal with their rivalry._

L sought out Watari, and 21 hours later they were both at headquarters along with Wedy, while Teru Mikami was imprisoned on the premises in a special cell built just for someone with Kira's power. Matt was scheduled to arrive a couple days later, to keep suspicion at Wammy's House low.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

This is a kind of short chapter, but I thought there was enough of a natural break here that it was a good place to stop. Plus, this chapter, short as it is, at least resolves the cliffhanger. It replaces it with another cliffhanger, though, but I hope one that's not as severe.

At least Ryuk has rejoined the story.

In Japan, Christmas is not a national holiday, so individual workplaces might give the day off if they decide to, but from the research I did, I think they usually don't give Christmas off. For story purposes, I pretended that getting off work for Christmas in Japan is probably more common than it actually is. In particular, it's hard to imagine Mikami taking the day off unless his entire office closed.


	26. Scattered

**CHAPTER 26: Scattered**

When L returned to headquarters, he immediately set out apples for Ryuk and then turned on the audio connection to communicate with Mikami. L did not question Mikami. Instead, he simply issued one statement through the microphone, "Teru Mikami, you are being watched and videotaped at all times. If you confess everything soon, you will be shown some leniency. Whatever you say will be noted and considered a part of your confession. You can begin speaking at any time."

Mikami reacted to the voice, his head snapping up to listen as he was sitting on his prison cot, but he made no answer at that time. L intended to let him stew, to let him worry. Questioning him would give him clues about how the investigation against him was proceeding, no matter how small those clues were. Ignoring him and giving him no information at all would tend to cause a panic, and in that panic he might make a mistake, let something slip.

L watched Mikami get up and pace in his cell from multiple viewpoints, each monitor showing a different angle. Mikami was not blindfolded or tied in any way. After being in restraints himself for so long, L felt sick at the thought of doing that to another person.

Instead, Mikami's cell was small but comfortable and functional, every part of it without corners or anything hard. Mikami shouldn't be able to commit suicide through any measure less drastic than biting his tongue or deliberately throwing up into his lungs as Light had done. Even the toilet had been specially constructed so that drowning oneself in it should be impossible.

There were no bars in the cell, no way to see out, simply four blank walls and a sturdy ceiling and floor. There was a motorized small opening in one wall that would open several times a day to reveal food or let him exchange dirty clothing for clean. Mikami would never see anyone's face.

Ryuk noticed the silence long enough to stop eating through the gigantic pile of apples L had provided, and said, "I thought you were going to ask him questions."

"I'd rather ask you questions. Are you ready now? I'll wait until you're finished eating if you'd like."

"No, you can ask me questions whenever you want. I can't guarantee I'll answer. I'm not here to help you."

L didn't reply, but let Ryuk continue eating. Whenever Ryuk decided he was done eating, he might be in a good mood. That would be the best time to ask him questions. Ryuk could finish an apple in three bites, but so far there didn't seem to be a limit to how many apples Ryuk could eat. Since L had arrived at headquarters and given him the apples, Ryuk had eaten more than thirty, with only short pauses.

L briefly checked on the progress the police were making, using one computer to access the latest NPA reports while switching some of the video feeds on the other monitors to Mikami's place of work. L had kept track of new developments all through his flight back to Japan, along with giving orders to Deputy-Director Kitamura for how to direct his portion of the operation. Embarrassingly, it had at one point included a question from Kitamura as to why there was so much grunting in the background. L had simply replied with the truth, "I'm hiding with pigs," and Kitamura had immediately dropped the subject.

The person Mikami had called during the time Ide was chasing him was a co-worker named Reina Nakano. She was a lower-ranking lawyer at the same law firm. So far, she was being watched covertly by a number of trained NPA operatives, switching out in shifts. She had not tried to go to Mikami's home, and she had not done anything suspicious. L had access to video feeds from hidden cameras placed everywhere in her workplace, and she'd already had a number of conversations with co-workers where she expressed surprise that Mikami wasn't at work.

Reina seemed genuinely baffled, and had even tried to call Mikami once, but gave up after leaving a short, innocent-sounding message on his answering machine. If she was an accomplice, she wasn't trying to hide her connection to him at all. She rather seemed like someone who had possibly been manipulated into doing something.

If she died, it would be more evidence to build the case against Mikami, but she may have been verbally tricked instead of being controlled by the notebook. In fact, it was very unlikely Mikami had written her name, because then there would be no need to call her in order to get her to do something. Did he have any notebook scraps on his person at the time Ide had chased him? If so, he'd disposed of them before being arrested, and Ide hadn't seen him writing.

L spun his chair around when the sound of apple crunching stopped and didn't resume. Ryuk was floating in the air and slowly drifting in a circle, as if he were in a zero gravity environment rather than using his wings to fly. He was staring at the ceiling and looking very bored.

L said, "Do you feel like talking now?"

 _I need to work to stay on Ryuk's good side. It wouldn't do to have two gods of death thinking about killing me._

Ryuk said, "Do you have Mario Cart? Mikami doesn't play video games at all."

"Yes. In fact, I can access many video games from here and we can play them on the largest monitor if you want."

"I didn't know you were into video games. Light hardly ever played with me."

 _Ryuk is a disgusting killer, but he's lonely and bored. It is possible he can be softened, especially over time._

L said, "Soon, another investigator will arrive who loves to play video games. I'm sure he'll have quite a bit of time to play with you. Ryuk, if you want humans to entertain you, all you need to do is ask. The entire Kira scheme isn't necessary."

"Well, killing criminals wasn't my idea to begin with, and besides it's getting old now. This guy Mikami isn't any fun at all. But at least it was fun to see a human last as long as Light did. Usually they just kill a few people and then kill themselves."

"If I keep you fed and entertained, will you tell me everything?"

Ryuk said, "You know, Light wanted to bribe me into helping him, but I wouldn't do it except with very minor chores, and I liked him quite a bit. You don't have any better chance of bribing me than he did."

"I thought so."

With a few keystrokes L had brought up Mario Cart on the largest monitor, while all the other monitors still showed Mikami's cell or his workplace. L hopped out of his chair and rummaged around under the counter until he'd found two controllers and handed one to Ryuk. Ryuk took it, his monstrous hand dwarfing it. It must be difficult for him to use something sized for humans.

L said, "Ryuk, let's play."

For the next two hours, it was almost constant playing, while L simultaneously kept an eye on the other monitors showing Mikami. Watari arrived a number of times with more coffee, tea, and various sweets. On his last trip, he brought asparagus. At L's request, Watari had made the sugary glaze even sweeter than before. This was perhaps the most candy-like asparagus dish ever created.

Wedy was lying low. She was on the premises, but staying mainly to her own room or other floors, and she was keeping her motorcycle helmet on all the time. After the danger posed by Rem, Wedy was nervous about another shinigami seeing her face. She'd already searched Mikami's home before L arrived in Japan. It was a very thorough preliminary search, and it had turned up nothing. Later, once everything could be safely removed from Mikami's home without possibly alerting any accomplice who could be watching, Wedy would do a complete search of each and every item, including cutting things apart to look inside.

L studied Ryuk as he played, looking for any weakness or quirks of personality that might be exploited later. Ryuk wasn't human, so the skill of being able to read the motivations and body language of humans very well wouldn't necessarily carry over to a shinigami. Yet, it was pointless not to try.

Ryuk was odd. Decidedly odd. He didn't display any of the characteristics a human mass-murderer would, which made sense because Ryuk wasn't in the habit killing his own species, but rather a different species. A human mass-murderer would be affected by the killings. Even Light had been affected, though he'd had enough of an iron willpower that it barely showed. Personality-wise, Ryuk seemed like a regular person. Perhaps he was the shinigami equivalent of a normal guy, nothing special about him.

Ryuk was a bit childish, but then beings that lived forever and had essentially no risk, purpose or stress in their lives other than boredom probably would end up being childish. Rem had let a few details about the shinigami realm out during the hospital visits, and it sounded as if the average shinigami was about as bored as Ryuk, leading either to childish hedonism or depression and ennui.

It was a good thing the other shinigami didn't think to entertain themselves by dropping notebooks. Or, perhaps they didn't do so because they had trouble finding second notebooks to drop. Neither Ryuk nor Rem seemed to want to give their primary notebooks to humans. If Mikami's notebook could be obtained, then destroying both of the extra notebooks would be a good way to shut down the possibility of any new Kira ever arising, or the even worse scenario of a government getting a notebook and using it as a tool of war or for political purposes.

If it ever seemed that neither Mikami nor Misa could ever be put on trial, it would be best to destroy both notebooks. L already had plans along those lines for a worst-case scenario. Rem's notebook was not only locked in a very high-security and well-hidden safe, it was a safe that was specially rigged to burn its contents if not opened for two months or if an unauthorized user tried to break into it. Even if Rem slaughtered everyone, or something else went terribly wrong, at least one of the murderer's notebooks would be destroyed.

Right in the middle of a game, Mikami suddenly blurted out, "I want to tell you everything, L. But I must know whether you've captured Kira. If you have, I'll give you my full cooperation."

 _I was hoping to withhold information from him, and now he wants it. However, he's claiming he'll give a full confession in return, and it's only one small thing._

L turned off the sound on the video game, then pressed the button to talk to Mikami and said, "Yes, there is another Kira in custody, not at this location. I cannot give you any more information about that Kira, however you should know that every moment you don't confess you're taking on a tremendous risk, depending on what the other Kira tells us."

Mikami stopped pacing, clasped his hands behind his back and stared directly into the camera. He said, "I am not a Kira at all. I will tell you what happened. I received a letter from Kira. It contained predictions of criminal deaths which came true. It said Kira had noticed my appearance in the audience of Sakura TV's 'Kira's Kingdom' and Kira liked the questions I asked during the 'talk to the audience' segment."

 _This much is probably true. Mikami has almost no online presence, but since researching him I had already guessed this is how Misa must have picked him. I was trying too hard to look for him, when the solution was much simpler. That broadcast was at the right time, and Mikami is clearly a strong Kira supporter from what he said then._

Mikami continued, "The letter said that I would soon receive instructions, and that if I didn't follow them I'd be killed. The next day I received a box with many envelopes in it, already sealed and addressed, and a notebook, along with a larger unsealed envelope big enough for the notebook, with an address already on it as well."

 _I can see where this is going._

Mikami took a deep breath and said, "There were additional instructions, explaining how Kira's power worked and that I was to mail out the sealed letters at the rate of one or two per day, and that I should be ready at all times to be arrested, and I should arrange it so that the notebook itself and all remaining letters should be sent in the mail immediately if I were arrested, so that Kira would spare my life."

"Did you do so?"

"Yes. There is a lawyer who works in the same company, Reina Nakano. I told her I would talk to our boss and make sure she will get a promotion, as long as she would be willing to drop everything the moment I told her to and go to my safety deposit box to mail whatever letters and packages she found there. She has a key. That is everything I know about the situation, and as you can see, I'm not Kira. I am only saying this now because you've captured Kira, so I am probably safe from being killed."

 _This sounds plausible. There's still no proof of wrongdoing, nothing worse than what the Yotsuba members other than Higuchi were forced into. Right now, a trial for Mikami would probably result in an innocent verdict. I need more than this. I need to catch him in a lie or to obtain additional evidence._

L pressed the microphone button and said, "What did Ryuk tell you?"

"Ryuk appeared two days after I received the notebook. At first I thought he was Kira. He said a lot of strange things I wasn't sure whether to believe or not, but nothing important, nothing about Kira's identity. He did tell me a little about you, and about your investigation methods. You are not afraid to approach Kira in person. You even professed friendship for Kira. Ryuk says you look like a teenager and dress in sloppy clothing that doesn't fit."

"Try to remember everything Ryuk told you, no matter how strange or unbelievable it seems. I will question you extensively about it in a little while. For now, I want to know the names that were on those envelopes."

Mikami said, "I was too frightened to remember the names. I always mailed the letters as quickly as possible, and I wanted to forget about it."

"Surely you at least remember the name that the notebook itself was to be sent to."

"I do not. I think I was almost too scared to know."

 _He is obviously lying about forgetting, but how do I prove it, and how much else is a lie or the truth? Misa doesn't usually think very far ahead, and at the time she chose Mikami, she was very distracted by Light's death, so her thoughts should not have been in order. There is a high likelihood that Mikami received only the notebook and a letter from Misa, and that he created this scheme of sending out pages. Misa may have threatened him with death if he didn't become the next Kira, but I doubt that Misa created something this elaborate, especially since it seems more closely tailored to Mikami's needs than Misa's needs._

L said, "If there are many people performing these killings, then why do they follow your schedule? Criminals only seem to die while you are not at work."

Mikami said, "I assume that the instructions I mailed out to those now acting as Kira must have included schedules for when to kill. Either that, or it is a coincidence because most of the workers in this city have a very similar schedule to my own. I did nothing illegal. It is true the death note is a weapon, but it is not illegal to own that weapon or to send it through the mail, especially when I would die if I didn't cooperate with the written instructions I received."

"You should have realized that Kira would not rely on you for a plan like this unless Kira could not act. If you thought Kira had been captured, then you should have been brave enough to either turn in all the evidence to the police, or to burn the notebook."

"There was no way to know if Kira had been captured or not. Besides, everyone knows there are two Kiras. Even if one were captured, how do I know the other wouldn't kill me for disobeying, or that Kira didn't have an accomplice with a piece of paper ready to kill me?"

 _He is talking almost as if he is not a Kira supporter, but I know that he is one._

L said, "Teru Mikami, do you support Kira?"

"I do, but it is not illegal to have such an opinion, and there is no relevance to it because of the death threat I received. Anyone would have acted the same, whether they supported Kira or not."

L said, "However, you did have the killing notebook in your possession for quite some time. I wonder why Kira didn't instruct you to send it through the mail immediately? Did you use it?"

"No."

"But you've already admitted you support Kira, and if it is not wrong for Kira to kill criminals then it is not wrong for you to do the same. Nearly anyone would want to try the notebook once, just to test if it was real."

"That does not mean I would kill for Kira. I never used the death note."

Ryuk laughed.

Mikami said, "I am cooperating and telling you everything I know. I've done nothing wrong. I want to be moved back to a normal jail and be allowed to talk with a lawyer. I don't know where this location is, but I know I'm in your private custody, L. Ryuk already told me there are no other prisoners in this building, and that it is disguised as a warehouse. I am not being given my rights."

"You had access to your lawyer before you were transferred to my custody, and you are a lawyer so you can talk to yourself. I have already received special permission from Interpol to retain Kira suspects as long as I want. If you try to prosecute me for the way I've treated you, you'll find all the normal channels blocked."

Mikami said, "You'll be required to let me out sooner or later."

"That is true, but I can keep you for a long time. If your testimony does not match Kira's testimony, I will pick at the holes in your story until the full truth comes out. If you wish to change your story, you should do so very soon in order that the courts will give you some leniency. Within a day or two I will let the NPA say that you are in custody. What story do you want released? You could be charged with any crime other than being a Kira suspect, or you could be in protective custody as a witness."

"I will be in protective custody as a witness. I do not want any of the Kiras out there to kill me, and if you falsely charge me with a crime they might not wait for a trial."

L said, "If I decide to kill you, it won't be by releasing your name as a criminal suspect. I'll control you into telling me exactly what really happened. Do not test my patience. I can win at any moment if I decide I truly want to."

"You like to make that threat. I wonder if you truly have one of the death notes?"

"If I think you are lying to me, you will find out."

L turned off the audio connection. Mikami continued talking for a little while before he realized there were no replies, but he said nothing useful, just repetitions of the same claims he'd already made.

L felt a bony claw on his shoulder and nearly jumped out of his seat.

Ryuk said, "Hey, so are you going to kill him too?"

"No. That was a bluff."

"But you killed Light. It seems like the easy way to solve everything."

L said, "I'm not going to kill Mikami. Does he know Misa's identity?"

Ryuk chuckled and said, "Nope. He almost never reads magazines or pays attention to anything to do with celebrities."

 _There is a clue here. This must explain what happened in Aoyama. There's so much Light managed to avoid telling me during his confession. If only I'd heard another hour or two of his confession before Misa's attack, I'd probably have been able to get control of the entire situation._

"People with Kira's power can recognize each other on sight?"

Ryuk leaned close and said, "Oh, so Misa never told you? Or Rem? Well, I told Light a lot of little helpful things, so I suppose I owe you a few small answers just to even things out. Humans with shinigami eyes can see the lifespan of every human except those with ownership of a death note. All you'd have to do to find the death note would be to force Mikami to give up ownership so that whoever has physical possession of it automatically becomes the new owner. Then trade me half your lifespan for the eyes, and then if you looked at a photo of whoever has it now, you wouldn't be able to see their lifespan. Oh yeah, and since you don't have Mikami's death note you'd have to take ownership from Misa too since only death note owners can make the trade."

 _So, Mikami does have shinigami eyes. He would not have paid such a high price for a power if he weren't going to use it. Still, even if I can prove he has shinigami eyes, that alone won't be proof that he has murdered with Kira's power. To convict him, I need more._

"It would be pointless to destroy the memories of suspects I hope to convict. Any helpful information they had would be lost, and it is possible I might not be able to restore their memories. It would be inefficient to search for a notebook owner by simply looking at photographs. Also, if I became a notebook owner myself, I would eventually destroy it and then I would be missing all my most important memories about this case."

Ryuk laughed. "But, it'd be hilarious watching you try to figure out why you'd done all those things! Although I suppose you'd write yourself a letter explaining it all. Yes, that's what you'd do. You're not an idiot."

"If I did force Mikami to give up ownership, could we simply follow you to the new owner?"

"Ah, now you're thinking! Well, once I approach a new owner I'm tethered to them, but I don't have to go to a new owner right away. I could take more than a month if I wanted. I'd probably stop in the shinigami realm for a short break along the way, just to make you work harder. Now that I don't have Light, watching you try to figure things out is the best entertainment I have, so I may as well draw it out. Though, this Kira business is getting kind of old without Light around."

L said, "Does that mean you'll quit if I can convict Misa and Mikami? You won't obtain another spare notebook and give it to yet another human?"

 _If Ryuk agrees, I could completely stop Kira's killings, with no new Kira ever taking over._

In an uncertain, musing tone, Ryuk said, "Probably not. It isn't the same without Light. Besides, it's a pain to get a spare. I'm already in a lot of trouble for having two. It's against the rules. I'm fortunate the old man doesn't care so much about enforcing that rule."

"Rem mentioned a little about these rules. I would like to know more."

Ryuk said, "Oh, the rules are really boring and there's a lot of them, and they're hard to memorize. I think I'm done answering your questions, but I want to make a deal with you. I'll give you the answer to one question in return for making sure I always have a good supply of apples. I'll be honest with that question and I won't try to trick you, but I won't go into a bunch of detail either. You just get one, simple answer. Choose your question carefully."

"I could withhold apples. Would you answer more questions then?"

"I'll just kill to get apples. I've got my own death note. I can force people to deliver apples to this building, or to other buildings within my range. If you use guards to prevent anyone from approaching, I can just control the guards too."

 _I believe I know what I should ask, but I need to consider it carefully. Still, it is dangerous to rely too much on what Ryuk says. The shinigami could lie to me anyway._

L said, "I will think about that question."

In the intervening time, L arranged for Reina Nakano to be taken into custody, and once she was situated in her own cell he questioned her through the computer.

"Reina Nakano, I apologize for questioning you this way instead of in person, but this case is too sensitive to let out any of the investigators' identities."

She looked shaken, but said, "They didn't tell me much when they arrested me. What am I a suspect for?"

"You may or may not be a suspect, depending on what you've done. First, I'd like you to describe, in detail, exactly what you did for Teru Mikami after he called you."

Reina launched into a story with so much detail that L only occasionally had to stop her to clarify issues, and everything she said matched perfectly with what Mikami had earlier claimed.

 _If she is an accomplice, she has been coached to tell this story. However, what she did is such a simple action that it is likely she was merely asked to do it._

At the end of her story, L said, "You said you think it was seven or eight envelopes and one package? Did you notice any of the names or addresses? It is very important that you remember."

Reina thought for a time, her face intense with concentration, and then said, "I'm sorry. I don't remember any of the names. But I'm almost certain the package was addressed to a business instead of a personal name. I don't remember what company it was. I think most of them were to locations within Tokyo, but I remember one was for somewhere in Hokkaido."

"Was that the business name?"

"No, I'm sure it was one of the smaller envelopes."

 _It is likely that Mikami sent out each of the envelopes with pages taken from his notebook and written instructions, probably including a death threat for any disobedience. I suspect the chosen victims were told to mimic the schedule of killing he's been using so far to make it seem as if he never used the notebook himself. He may have written down their names to be sure they won't tell anyone what happened and will destroy all evidence if cornered. However, I do know that the victims haven't been controlled into killing, only threatened into it. The notebook can't be used to force people to kill others. Even Raye Penber had to be tricked into killing, or otherwise there would be no need for Light to have had any direct contact with him at all._

L questioned the woman for another hour to be sure he hadn't missed anything and that all points of her story stayed stable as she retold it.

When he was finished, he said, "Reina Nakano, we will release you now. If you think of anything else, please contact the NPA and they will put you in touch with an appropriate investigator. I'm sorry, but we are unable to tell you more about this case at the moment. Your cooperation has been highly appreciated, and we hope you will keep this a secret."

She said, "I knew, I just knew at least one of those families were Yakuza. I can't believe there is so much trouble over who owns a gravesite. Have they been threatening the law firm? We did our best, but the law is fairly rigid in such matters."

She paused, and then in a gentler voice said, "Is Teru okay? I suppose he was called in too, but nobody has heard from him. I want to say, I really do worry about him. I wasn't running errands for him in order to get an unfair advantage. It's just that nobody is perfect enough for Teru, so if he told the boss I should be promoted, it would really mean something. It's not really unfair, because women have such a difficult time being taken seriously as professionals. All the men with the same skill level as myself have already been promoted. I'm sorry, and if I inadvertently helped the Yakuza, I meant no harm."

 _Either this is an act, or she doesn't have the slightest suspicion that this might have anything to do with Kira._

L said, "Teru Mikami is a material witness in protective custody, but I cannot tell you anything else. However, you should be careful. If you are not part of some conspiracy, you are safe, but if you've done something wrong, you could be killed."

L carefully watched her face on the monitor, studying it for any sign that she was Kira's accomplice and knew she might be killed. Instead, he only saw what seemed like the reaction of an innocent person, more puzzlement than fear.

She said, "Should I be in protective custody too? How safe am I?"

"You should be perfectly fine as long as you haven't been knowingly cooperating with any criminal. However, if you feel you need protective custody, we will provide it."

She seemed to be comforted by that, and asked no more questions. L sat for quite some time, playing with his food and going over everything in his mind, trying to be certain of exactly which question he should ask Ryuk as the one that was supposedly guaranteed to get an honest answer. It was fairly obvious, but it was important to be absolutely sure, and to word it in exactly the right way.

L had many fairy tales pop into his mind where a hero worded a question wrong, and a supernatural creature used that wording as an excuse to answer the question in a way that was technically honest, while sidestepping the real issue. It felt weird to be applying fairy-tale logic to an investigation.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I figured that L would use the same trick to re-enter Japan that he used to sneak out. For variety, I put him with pigs this time instead of llamas. Pigs don't make their stereotypical noises (oinking or squealing) very often. Mostly they just grunt, especially if they are contented and nothing is alarming them.

The death note Mikami received is the one that was originally Misa's, because that is the one Ryuk was attached to at that point in the story. I suppose that since Misa did have ownership of both death notes for a short time after Light's death, it would have been possible for her to do the same thing Light did, to switch them around and get each shinigami attached to the opposite death note as before. But that doesn't seem to be like something Misa would do, and besides there was no reason for her to do it. Misa's death note has Japanese writing on the cover and no rules written inside.

And, Ryuk refers to the shinigami king as "the old man" on at least one occasion in the manga.


	27. Lifespans

**CHAPTER 27: Lifespans**

Ryuk clearly didn't want to be interrogated, but it wasn't that difficult to get Ryuk involved in idle discussion, and a little more information came out that way. Ryuk seemed to want to talk when there was nothing happening, though L had the feeling Ryuk was skirting all the most important details, anything that might actually close the case or lead to a clue about how to stop Rem. Ryuk was genuinely intrigued with the idea that L wasn't using his one question right away, but was instead hoarding it and considering it carefully.

Ryuk came right out and said, "I'd think that question should be pretty obvious. You're smart, right? You should know what to ask by now."

"I've been here with you for less than a day, and yet you're quite anxious for me to ask that question."

Ryuk said, "Well, that's because I like to see an investigation, not just sitting around. If you find out something more, then you'll probably start actually doing something."

L used one finger to nudge at the several doughnuts still on the plate in front of him, trying to decide which to eat next. He glanced up at the monitors. Mikami was acting like a model prisoner, dignified and seemingly cooperative. He had a defiant expression on his face, but he knew just how to act and what to say in order to cause nagging doubts as to whether he was lying. The several additional questioning sessions he'd been subjected to after the first didn't yield anything useful, didn't reveal a single contradiction. It didn't even contradict anything Ryuk had said.

 _Perhaps Misa did threaten him into the scheme he described... no, if I think that way, Mikami will have the upper hand. He is almost certainly lying, and he will try something if I end up letting him go._

L chose a doughnut with chocolate frosting and coconut sprinkles, and before taking a bite said, "Ryuk, I would like to add one more item to the deal we have."

"You're only getting one honestly-answered question in return for keeping me supplied with apples, not two."

"No, not a question, an additional condition. Another investigator will arrive a day from now. We call him Matt. Watari and Wedy already know that Misa has had sex with me. Matt does not. In addition to getting one honest answer from you for a question of my choosing, I want you to never reveal this fact to Matt or anyone unless I give you permission first."

"That is disgusting, so I probably wouldn't bring it up anyway. Yeah, I'll add keeping quiet about it to the deal. No problem."

L silently ate his doughnuts until Ryuk started getting fidgety again, and then, judging Ryuk vulnerable, said, "What do you think about Light?"

"Is that your one question?"

"Of course not. I'll tell you when I'm asking that question. This is just talk."

Ryuk said, "Oh, Light was incredible fun. He was great to watch. Did you know he had a little screaming and laughing fit in his room after he got home from the To-Oh University freshmen ceremony?"

"No, I did not know that."

"For someone who was so smart he sure had a lot of problems, and he did some stupid things. Light never thought he made any mistakes, though. Like when he let the police know he had access to their files. He said he was doing it to lure L in close, and it worked, but then he ended up being the prime suspect pretty fast. Yeah, if he'd never done anything to draw attention to himself, he could probably have kept being Kira without anyone bothering him."

L said, "Yes, that was rather stupid. It was because of his pride. Ever since the Lind L. Tailor broadcast, I became a symbol to him, a person he had to destroy in order to rule comfortably as Kira. In that way, the broadcast was a tremendous success. Because of it, I was able to use myself as bait to successfully draw Light closer and closer to being caught."

"You know the most hilarious thing he did?"

"No."

Ryuk waved one arm sweepingly, as if indicating the entire world. He said, "It was hilarious that Light thought he was changing anything. Even if his scheme did work, the world would only be his idea of a paradise until he died. After that, it'd just become the same or worse. Also, he wasn't saving any lives at all."

 _I suspect... this could be..._

L kept his face blank and said, "How so?"

"Human lifespans don't change unless a death note or a shinigami is involved. People die when they're fated to. Light changed the minds of some murderers, but the victims were still fated to die at the same moment as before. They just had accidents or got sick instead."

 _This is extremely important. I could test this, do a statistical analysis to see whether deaths by other causes have risen by the same number that murders have dropped. Since murder is a very rare cause of death, it would be difficult to prove statistical significance, but I could probably get to the point where I could make a fairly dependable guess whether Ryuk is lying or not._

Ryuk said, "Misa knows how lifespans work. She was an idiot to try to off herself with a gun. If she'd used her death note, it would have been a success for sure."

L replied, "I suspect that Rem would have taken it away before Misa could finish writing, and would burn it instead of letting Misa have it again."

Ryuk said, "You know, before all the shinigami got to be so lazy, it used to be a game. Find some human who wasn't sick or old or anything, but had a lifespan about to run out, and then try to save them. I remember the very best one was when a bunch of us were watching Calikarcha try to save this guy. An attacker came at the human with a knife. She killed the attacker with her death note, and just then the guy she'd saved fell into a river and started drowning. She pulled him out. He was terrified because he couldn't see her so that made it especially funny. Then, while he's on the riverbank, a bear comes out of the forest and tries to get him. Calikarcha holds off the bear, and while she's doing that the guy gets hit by a meteorite. It was the best one ever. We were laughing about it for days."

"I do not believe you. Rem saved Misa from a stalker by killing him."

Ryuk went into a laughing fit. He didn't come out of it until L had finished two more doughnuts.

When Ryuk had his composure back, he said, "You really are entertaining, you know that? That's Rem's story to tell, so I won't say anything about the details, but a human's life can be extended in one special situation. If a shinigami transfers years from their own lifespan onto a human's lifespan. For all you know, Misa might not be fated to die until thousands of years from now."

 _If Ryuk is telling the truth, then it might be impossible to ever act against Misa. Extreme coincidences would always keep her alive. Even if I could put her on trial, something odd might happen to ensure she is judged innocent, since a guilty verdict would almost certainly result in a death penalty. Rem can get more lifespan from humans, so it doesn't harm her to subtract years from her lifespan and add them onto Misa's. Still, something isn't right here. It doesn't fully make sense._

L said, "Ryuk, could I convince you to add more years to my lifespan?"

"Not for all the apples in the world. If I wouldn't do it for Light I certainly won't do it for you."

"Why not? You can easily gather more to replace it."

Ryuk leaned close again and said, "I'm not that kind of shinigami."

L asked, "There's something shameful involved in it?"

"For a shinigami, caring whether a human lives or dies is shameful. Humans are our prey. What Rem is doing with Misa is a complete disgrace. She'll probably be an outcast in the shinigami realm, if she ever returns to it. Not that she really had any respect before. Everyone's thought of her as a joke ever since she got involved in the human world."

Ryuk picked up an apple and began eating it. Two bites later, only the core was left. He dangled the core in the air, seeming to study it thoughtfully, and then swallowed it too.

Ryuk said, "Yeah, Light might have stopped a lot of robberies and rapes, but he never saved a single human life."

"Only a tiny percentage of rapes ever enter the justice system. I doubt Light has dissuaded many rapists since they are unlikely to be noticed by Kira in the first place."

"Well, then I guess everything awful that happened to Light was just so that humans would steal less stuff."

L replied, "It was a waste of intelligence and determination."

After that, the conversation dried up. L tried to get more information out of Ryuk, but Ryuk seemed to have caught on once again, realizing that simple discussions always turned into subtle attempts to interrogate. Or perhaps Ryuk was quiet and introspective merely because the subject of Light had come up. Had Ryuk cared about Light as anything other than a source of entertainment? L had a feeling there had been something between the two of them.

 _If Ryuk has not lied to me about the way lifespans work, then Misa has had however many years added onto her lifespan as Rem wishes. Since Rem cares for Misa, there is almost no chance Misa's lifespan will run out anytime soon. What would happen if I sent an attacker to Misa? Rem would know that Misa could not be killed except by someone using a notebook, however Rem would wish to prevent Misa from receiving further injuries. Misa might be effectively immortal, but she could still spend the rest of her life in a coma or severely disabled. I know of one plausible threat. This will be the first test of Rem's power, and if it fails Rem should not be suspicious._

L had Watari make the preparations for another visit to the hospital, this time utilizing being smuggled inside a laundry cart as his way to thwart any agents of the Matsuzaki Detective Agency. As before, Wedy had searched extensively for surveillance devices immediately before L's visit, but found none this time.

When L was left alone in the room and crawled out of the laundry cart, Rem was immediately there, looming uncomfortably close. She looked oddly bouncy and cheerful.

She immediately said, "None of the doctors noticed and the therapist you hired to talk to Misa wasn't here when it happened, but Misa sat up! She sat all the way up and looked directly at me and blinked!"

L's stomach lurched, and he glanced over at Misa. Her eyes had that completely blank, dead look. Before speaking or removing the cloth mask hiding his face, L spent several minutes using a detecting device to comb the room for any hidden surveillance that Wedy might have missed.

Then he piled towels against the crack at the bottom of the door and turned to Rem, saying, "I have a man named Teru Mikami. Ryuk is attached to him, but everything else about the situation is unclear. Mikami is only in my custody temporarily. The NPA will force me to let him go eventually if I can't prove he is Kira."

 _There's no doubt Mikami has indeed sent pages to at least one other person, since newly-announced criminals continue to die. The only question is whether the notebook itself is being used, or if it has been hidden away in a place where Mikami plans to retrieve it. Even if Reina Nakano is completely telling the truth, the larger package she mailed might have been a decoy. Why would Mikami send the killing notebook to a business?_

Rem said, "Will you be able to frame Teru Mikami as the second Kira, releasing Misa from suspicion?"

"Possibly, depending on the circumstances. However, a worse problem has come to my attention, and I need your help."

"What is it?"

 _If anything can be a plausible, non-suspicious threat to Misa now, it is this._

L said, "Ryuk told me how lifespans work. Those with ownership of a killing notebook do not have visible lifespans to other humans who have the shinigami eyes."

"Yes, that is true. But I can see Misa's lifespan. If Misa dies prematurely, I will know that her name was written in a death note."

 _That was a warning to me. Rem doesn't trust me._

L said, "Misa is famous, and Teru Mikami has traded for the shinigami eyes. It is only luck that he did not discover her identity. If I am forced to release him because of a lack of evidence, he could notice at any time and kill Misa. Or if Mikami decides to give up his memories at some point, then the current borrower of the notebook, whoever that is, might trade for the eyes and kill Misa."

"You do not know where Ryuk's death note is now?"

 _Rem will wish to kill Mikami, or to kill the newest Kira. This is the only way I can test Rem for now, the only believable threat I can point at Misa._

L said, "Tell me everything Misa did to put the notebook into new hands. There is no point in withholding information from me any longer."

Rem said, "Very well, I will tell you all that happened."

Rem launched into a very detailed story that involved exactly what L expected, plus a few things he didn't. Misa had seen Mikami as one of the audience members being questioned during 'Kira's Kingdom' and had selected him as a possible candidate. She'd also selected four other people, three extremely pro-Kira bloggers and one journalist known for writing pro-Kira articles.

Misa had then gotten Rem to steal a cellphone from a random person on the street, so that the calls could never be traced to her, and had used a voice modulator to disguise her voice. She'd interviewed all five candidates and selected Mikami as the most devoted to Kira's ideals. She killed the other four and mailed the notebook to Mikami along with instructions. She had threatened to kill him if he failed to obey, but she hadn't suggested any scheme of sending out additional pages. She had told him that she might not contact him for a long time.

Rem concluded her story by saying, "I listened to everything Mikami said. He worships Kira, and would never try to kill Kira. He is not a threat. Even if he knew Misa's identity, he would probably be willing to be executed in her place, if he thought it would help her to escape and to continue killing criminals."

L said, "However, this unknown person with the notebook might not be as loyal to Kira as Mikami is. Rem, do shinigami have any sense of where their notebook is?"

"Ryuk would not know where his death note was unless that human became the new owner. Even then, if the death note were hidden away, he would only be able to sense the location of the person, not the hiding place of the death note. As long as Mikami retains ownership, there is no way to tell where it is."

 _The notebook may not even be in the hands of a new person, but if I can make Rem think so, and then present to her a criminal condemned to death as the supposed borrower of the notebook, Rem could be compelled to protect Misa._

L said, "This borrower cannot have the shinigami eyes now, because of not being an owner. However, Misa is in danger regardless of whether Mikami gives up ownership or not. Misa is one of many celebrities named by the tabloids as a Kira suspect. It is possible this new person could kill off all Kira suspects in an attempt to gain the power solely for themselves. I need any help you can give me. For Misa's sake."

Rem was silent, just staring with her single visible eye. Then she drifted over to the bed and looked down at Misa in a motherly way, her face full of tenderness and concern. She reached out and drew a finger across Misa's forehead, brushing aside some hair.

Misa's eyes briefly seemed to show some life, and then it was gone again.

Rem stood straighter, drawn up to her full height in a stance that was perhaps an attempt to be intimidating, and said, "I did not wish to tell you this, but it will now help you and I do not think you will be able to use it against me. If you do, I will take revenge in a way that is extremely unpleasant, so do not try to do so."

 _Is this going to be..._

Rem continued, "Misa is completely safe. Pregnant women cannot be killed by death notes, so unless her lifespan is scheduled to run out during her pregnancy, she will not die. I think when the rules were being made there were fewer humans, and then it was a waste of resources to kill such a woman when we could simply wait for the child, and harvest that lifespan as well."

 _No, I already tested this possibility. Women commit only a small number of serious crimes so Kira rarely victimizes them, but of those 518 women killed by Kira there was one who was pregnant. Abigail Degenstein, and I already had an autopsy done on her to confirm her pregnancy. She is still in that frozen morgue in Chicago, along with every other Kira victim who's death was relevant to Kira's method of operation and might be needed as evidence for a trial._

L said, "I have records of Kira killing a pregnant woman."

Rem said, "You are mistaken."

Before L could answer, Rem had taken out her notebook and was writing in it. L didn't realize he was biting his lip until he felt a sharp, stabbing pain. When done, Rem held it open to reveal Misa's name.

L said, "How could you do that? Perhaps Misa's death will simply be delayed and she will die as soon as she gives birth."

L was helplessly counting off the seconds in his head and watching Misa, even though the shinigami's calmness told him that Rem must not have put Misa in any danger.

Rem said, "The death note either kills, or it does not kill. The only way a death note can work partially is in the case of details of death or a cause of death that is impossible. Then it simply reverts to a heart attack. If even a heart attack is impossible, it does not delay until a later time."

L silently counted off the last of those forty seconds, but Misa was unchanged, her chest barely rising and falling with her breaths, her heart rate monitor still showing strong, steady beats. He felt relieved and upset all at once. It would have been so much easier if Rem had killed Misa by accident. But he'd also felt a moment of panic for that life growing inside Misa, a strangely creepy protective emotion. It seemed almost foreign, like an outside emotion imposed on him, or a base instinct worming its way into his brain. A parenting instinct.

 _If both Rem and Ryuk are telling the truth, Misa will survive the entire pregnancy. Rem would not allow Misa's lifespan to run out, and Misa will not be killed by the power of the notebooks either. I will be a father. What will I do?_

L stared and stared at that spot on Misa's blankets that hid her belly. Even if there were no blankets to hide her form, she wasn't showing yet. Misa was only six weeks pregnant. When he tried to think of what to do with a baby, his mind simply went blank. It froze up, shying away from the topic.

He was not able to really start thinking until he was being smuggled away again, buried within the depths of clothing in another laundry cart. And then his mind shut out Misa and focused on the case alone. With Rem's admission and demonstration, the previous plan of provoking Rem into killing a Kira decoy to save Misa would need to be scrapped, which was a shame because it could have been the perfect test, very unsuspicious. Replacing it with another test would be extremely difficult.

 _But, I should not believe things that shinigami say until I have tested them as well as I can. I need to do that statistical analysis to see if Ryuk's explanation of lifespans is correct, and I need to order another autopsy, a better one, of Abigail Degenstein. Something happened there._

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

As to whether pregnant women can be killed by death notes or not, canon is unclear. I've seen doujinshi where this is true.

The idea is basically extrapolated from two other rules: that individuals less than 780 days old are immune to death notes, and that the death written in the death note cannot lead to the death of more than the intended (normally just reverting to a heart attack to avoid the unintended death of another, but what happens if the heart attack of the intended victim would cause another, unwritten, individual to die?).

Anyway, since there are no pregnant women in Death Note, the issue of whether the rules can be extrapolated that way or not never comes up. Although I find the idea of L being in charge of a task force composed of pregnant women to be utterly hilarious, and I wish someone would write that fanfic.

I just made up the "not actually saving any lives" thing. I'm not sure if it would work that way in canon or not, but I think of it as a neat idea about the futility of being Kira. If canon Light did ever figure out something like this, he'd probably be so far gone, so deluded and so emotionally invested in his plan, that he'd just deny it and continue anyway.

As to Ryuk's implication, he's not actually lying, he's just not giving full information and he's allowing L to fill in the gaps in that knowledge wrongly. Ryuk mentioned that a shinigami can transfer years from its own lifespan to a human lifespan, he just didn't mention that the shinigami dies in the process, or that it wasn't Rem who transferred extra years to Misa's life, but Gelus.

L hasn't begun to suspect the true situation because of the logical unlikelihood of two shinigami being interested in protecting the same person. If he asks Ryuk the right question, though, he'll be able to fill in the gaps correctly in a hurry.

As to other shinigami shunning Rem, I'm not sure if that would really happen since we're not told much or shown much about interaction between shinigami in the shinigami world. However, we do know Ryuk was looked down on for being interested in the human world and generally not conforming to shinigami norms of behavior. Also, it was implied that Gelus was an outcast for spending so much time watching the human world. I just took a guess that behavior even further from the norm (wanting to protect a human) might make Rem a complete outcast.


	28. Broadcast I

**CHAPTER 28: Broadcast I**

When L returned to headquarters, he spent nearly an hour crouched in the exercise room, in the middle of the giant mat where he usually did his capoeira practice, not doing anything except thinking. The next move needed to be plotted carefully. Certain steps, once taken, could not be reversed. L stared at the blank white of the wall as his mind ran through possibilities and calculated the risks for each move.

When he was sure he'd thought things through well enough, he pulled out his cellphone and called Deputy-Director Kitamura.

L said, "This is L. I need you to set up a call center and staff it with at least twenty of your best and most reliable officers, ones who can keep secrets if ordered to. I am planning to broadcast a message to hopefully stop the criminal deaths and obtain evidence to prove Kira's guilt. Unfortunately, the broadcast will attract many of those crackpots who think they are Kira, so we'll need a staff of at least twenty to handle the call volume."

Kitamura said, "You're opening up the Kira hotline again?"

L said, "Yes. Even though we only obtained one legitimate tip during the ten months it was open last time, I believe this new broadcast should cause calls by those who know information about Kira. We'll have some difficulty sorting out the ones who know something from those who are merely crazy, so I'll send you a script to be used by the officers answering the phones. I'll also send instructions for setting up a database with recordings of all calls that I can access."

"I can do that, L. It should take only an hour or two to assign the men and re-open the hotline."

"There is more. The broadcast I'll create will contain a promise authorized by the NPA, offering complete clemency to any and all people who have been threatened into committing crimes by Kira, as long as they can prove Kira threatened them and they do not commit additional crimes. I believe this is a necessary measure to uncover Kira's accomplices and obtain physical evidence to convict Kira."

Kitamura said, "That could be difficult."

L said, "I realize I am asking a significant favor to offer this kind of immunity. I'll need your permission and the full cooperation of the NPA. Also, there is a danger for the NPA. If this action does not reveal any evidence and I'm forced to let Kira go, Kira might then try to take revenge on the NPA for the broadcast. For this reason I will take full responsibility for the decision by what I say in the broadcast, to try to avert Kira's anger to myself. If you do not approve of the video I send you, then don't air it, and I'll quickly get in touch to work out whatever problems there might be."

After a pause, Kitamura said, "I understand. It is better to stop this, even if we can't convict everyone involved in it."

"Thank you. I know I've put you in a difficult situation, and I appreciate your cooperation."

"Ide said you had the other Kira in custody, not just Teru Mikami. Is that true, L?"

"It was a bluff I used to try to scare Mikami into confessing, and I plan to use it again for the broadcast. I will reveal whether it is true or not once I obtain enough evidence, and then it will only be revealed to those people Interpol gives the proper security clearance to. There will probably be a secret trial to avoid creating a public panic and to prevent any rescue attempts by Kira supporters. Until the trial, information leaks only hurt the case, and each person with secret information becomes a possible target for those who are still killing with Kira's power. I do not want you to become a target, and that is why I continue to deny you full information for the time being."

Kitamura said, "Then it is true Kira can pass the power to others? How will the deaths ever stop, then?"

"Those with Kira's power can normally only pass on the power in limited amounts. They must erase their memories or die to pass on the power entirely, and so they are unlikely to make that choice. The lesser recipients of Kira's power can only kill a certain number of times before they lose the power. If we can stop the principal Kiras, no more power will be given to followers and the deaths will eventually cease. However, it is best if we can discover the identities of even the minor accomplices who were threatened into cooperating, to keep them from doing anything disastrous with the power they temporarily wield. If any of them deviate from merely killing criminals into trying to accomplish some other objective, they could hold as many hostages as they want to, and threaten the authorities into complying with any scheme."

"I understand, L. We are counting on you. Don't fail us."

L said, "I will do my best. You should receive the video to broadcast along with further instructions very soon. Goodbye."

"Wait! There's one more thing. Reina Nakano contacted us. She says she's been thinking about the large package, and she thinks it was addressed to some business with 'careless' in the title, or something like that.

 _What business in Japan would have a name like that, when there are so many attempts to put lucky words into company titles?_

L said, "I will look into it."

With that, Kitamura ended the call.

It took less than half an hour to find a business in Tokyo that might fit. When L located it, he knew immediately how perfect it would be for Mikami's scheming and called Wedy into the room. Ryuk was drifting along behind her, looking pleased and talking about how something was finally going to happen. She was still wearing her motorcycle helmet with the darkened visor pulled down, as she had during every visit to headquarters since Ryuk had arrived.

When Wedy stopped next to L's chair, her helmet swiveled in Ryuk's direction and one foot tapped impatiently at the floor.

L said, "Ryuk, have you seen Wedy's name?"

Ryuk said, "Maybe, but it's pretty interesting to watch her walk around like this."

Wedy leaned down to read the computer screen. She said, "I don't get it. What is this, Ryuzaki?"

"It's a database I hacked into moments ago. It belongs to a business called 'A Cure for Forgetful Husbands' that sends out gifts for anniversaries, birthdays, and special events. You can even set conditions such as when a sports team wins. I think Mikami mailed his notebook there for safe-keeping."

"Why not just bury it?"

L said, "He didn't have time, and if Reina Nakano is not an accomplice, then it would be too odd to ask her to bury something. Also, I think he must have been planning for the circumstance of being forced to give up his memories."

The first database query didn't yield anything, but the second, for Mikami's home address instead of his name, showed one entry. A fake name had been entered as the gift-giver, and a misspelled version of Mikami's name, with one misplaced kanji, as the recipient. The package should still prove perfectly deliverable to Mikami's home address, since the misspelling would be a minor issue. The condition for sending the "gift" was to wait two years after killings by Kira stopped.

Wedy said, "That sneaky bastard!"

"Yes. This way, if he didn't erase his memories, he could simply go and obtain the notebook whenever he wanted, under the false name he used and by knowing the correct database number. If he did erase his memories, the notebook would automatically return at a point far enough in the future that he might not be watched closely any longer."

 _Have I uncovered all of Mikami's tricks? If I were dealing with Light instead, there would be at least one more hidden trap. But Mikami is not as intelligent as Light. Light would have planned for every possibility, but I've already uncovered instances of Mikami not considering all aspects of his plan._

Wedy said, "You want me to lift the notebook today?"

L said, "Yes. I cannot risk asking the NPA to seize the evidence, or the notebook may disappear into governmental hands, and then worse problems would likely arise."

"Kira's bad enough already. We don't need some suits trying to control the world. Where is it?"

L brought up an address and map on the computer screen.

Wedy said, "It caters to men who want to impress their wives without paying real attention to them? You know, there's probably a lot of high-end jewelry in there."

"Don't think about it. You can buy plenty of jewelry with what I'm paying you."

Wedy clicked her tongue and said, "I'll be good."

With that, Wedy left and L started working on the video to be broadcast. It took less than an hour to create the final version. It was the usual background with the L-logo, and with the only audio being L's computer-disguised voice.

It was a short message, saying:

 _**This is L. I have captured Kira and the second Kira. The murders of criminals are continuing only because Kira gave a small amount of power to people who have been threatened into cooperating with Kira's plans. This is a direct message to those people who are the victims of Kira's threats. It is not your choice to kill. You do not know Kira's identity, and yet Kira knows your identity. Therefore you have been led to believe that you will die if you disobey Kira's plans. Because you have been subjected to death threats, you are not responsible for your crimes. I have received permission from the highest levels of the NPA to hold you innocent and charge you with no crimes as long as you can produce evidence that Kira threatened you into doing what you have already done. There is no need for you to kill any longer, and there is no danger to yourself. Considering the situation you are in, Kira should wish to kill you as soon as Kira sees this broadcast. The longer you stay alive, the more sure you should become that I am speaking the truth. Please do not delay bringing evidence to the NPA. The Kira hotline is open for your calls.** _

The phone number appeared on the bottom of the screen, and then the message continued:

 _**If you are not one of those people threatened by Kira, please do not clog the Kira hotline with your calls. Every person who calls will be investigated by the NPA, and those lacking evidence of being threatened by Kira may be prosecuted under public safety laws.** _

L was satisfied when he'd edited it to that version.

 _This video should arrive in time for the evening news. For any unwilling accomplice, this should at least stop them from killing. A Kira supporter would not go to the police and would probably continue killing. The question is whether Mikami trusted any of these people enough to let them be true accomplices, or whether he controlled all of them. He cannot control them into killing, no matter what he wrote, but he may have controlled them into never telling any secrets and to refuse to cooperate with the authorities. If that is the case, none of them will call the hotline and all will be dead within twenty-three days. However, if any are Kira supporters, they might take some action to try to rescue Kira regardless of whether Mikami has written their names or not._

L sent Watari with a copy of the video and a letter describing everything Kitamura should do.

Shortly after Watari returned from that task, Wedy also returned, carefully holding in her gloved hands a sealed cardboard box with several bright stickers on it, with the same long string of numbers on each sticker. It was a storage box with the database number of what Mikami had sent.

Wedy said, "They had better security than Yotsuba, but it still wasn't a real challenge. I've replaced this with an empty decoy that looks identical, right down to the stickers."

L stared at the box for a few moments. Inside was most likely the other notebook, the one he'd never seen.

L turned to Watari and said, "Please take the entire package to the forensics lab and process it. We need video documentation of each step as you open the package and every test you perform. Take particular care to check everywhere for fingerprints, including individual pages. Remove fragmentary samples of the ink used to see if we can match it to pens in Mikami's house. Take high-resolution photos of all pages. If we end up destroying the notebook, we need a full record of what was written in it. Are you ready to process it now?"

"Of course."

Watari carefully put on gloves and then took the box from Wedy.

L said, "Watari, you'll miss the broadcast."

Watari said, "That is fine. I've already seen the nearly-final version."

Wedy said, "What?"

L said, "I'm baiting Kira's accomplices with a message that will appear on the evening news, in about fifteen minutes."

L couldn't see Wedy's face through the helmet, but he had the impression she was smiling. In a more cheerful tone, Wedy said, "That's what you're best at. I can hardly wait to see those idiots fall all over themselves right into your trap."

L said, "Yes. We can hope this will all end soon, as peacefully as possible."

The next few hours were filled with intense watching. L had multiple monitors turned on at the same time, viewing live news from several sources both during and after his broadcast. There was no immediate stir except by media personnel excitedly commenting on the matter, but L watched in rapt, focused awareness, in anticipation of an immediate attack, a sharp drop-off in Kira killings, or possibly both.

At the same time, L watched Mikami in his cell, Reina Nakano in her home and Watari in the basement forensics lab, as he carefully dissected the storage box to reveal a beautifully wrapped gift. Watari processed the entire outside for fingerprints before carefully unwrapping it with tweezers, revealing another box inside, and inside that inner box, at last a slim black notebook.

Matt arrived that evening, according to the delayed schedule to make sure Wammy's House residents wouldn't have any suspicions. Matt was followed upstairs by Ryuk, who was pestering him about video games. Watari was still occupied in the forensics lab with the new notebook. Checking every single page for fingerprints was truly a grueling long-term task.

Within 15 minutes, L had updated Matt on everything that had happened.

Matt replied with, "There was hacking, and I wasn't in on it?"

"It was an easy job, well below your abilities. You didn't miss out."

"I was brought here for my computer skills, and I haven't made a single impact on the case! It's like I'm not needed."

L said, "You are worth more than your computer skills, Matt. You helped us to eliminate possibilities, which is always an important part of detective work. You received training. And, if Rem decides to kill everyone she's seen, you'll perform an important function as the only survivor who was directly involved with events."

Ryuk added, "Plus, I need you to play video games with me."

Matt glanced over his shoulder at Ryuk and said, "You don't know what you're getting into, shinigami."

Ryuk laughed and said, "Don't be so sure. You're human, so you've never played the same game for months without a single break."

Matt turned back to L and said, "How do we know it isn't a decoy notebook, made to look real, as a way to trick us?"

"You'll do the same thing as before. You'll test it by having Watari obtain criminals to touch it, and then find out if they can see Ryuk."

Matt grinned and replied, "And, it'll have to be at least three of them, one to touch the cover and two for random pages inside, to make sure it isn't a decoy with some real parts."

L said, "Excellent thinking, Matt. I believe I've been underestimating you. You perform better in actual detective work than in things you know are merely tests."

Matt said, "Maybe you should assign all of us actual cases, instead of hypothetical ones or cases you've already solved. I bet Near wouldn't do so well then."

"You are correct. It is about time to create a more serious training environment. If I survive the Kira case, I will see to it. I should have the top four solving actual cases with minimal direction from myself."

"Top four?"

L said, "Linda is the fourth in rank. She never told you?"

"No."

With that, Matt wandered off deep in conversation with Ryuk about which video games were the best, and L returned to watching all the screens, putting his entire focus into it, concentrating to pick up the slightest clue, and jumpy with an electric feeling of anticipation. Everything was coming together, and things could easily explode into action at any moment.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

This chapter turned out incredibly long with more plot twists than I expected, so I decided to break it three parts.

There is very little about the Kira hotline in the anime/manga. About all we know is that it was inadequately staffed, it attracted a lot of crackpots, and that one legitimate tip came in: when Naomi Misora's mother called in to report her daughter's disappearance.


	29. Broadcast II

**CHAPTER 29: Broadcast II**

The call center was almost overwhelmed by the sheer volume of callers. There were 1183 calls just on the same night of the broadcast, and over two thousand during the next day. Kitamura was forced to double the number of officers he'd originally assigned to the task.

Despite the warning, twelve percent of the calls were by people who were merely curious and had questions about Kira, and forty-three percent were by people who did not think they had been threatened personally by Kira, but instead had various bizarre theories about Kira that they insisted on talking with the police about. Thirty-one percent of calls were by people who were certain that Kira had threatened someone they knew, usually an acquaintance they considered creepy. Three percent of calls were by Kira supporters who taunted the police and outright stated they were purposely clogging the hotline and they didn't care if they got arrested.

The remaining eleven percent were by people who thought they'd been threatened by Kira, or were claiming such because they'd committed crimes they wanted to be judged innocent for. When investigated, none of these could produce letters or any other physical evidence of the threats such as recorded phone calls. None of these people thought that Kira killed by writing names on paper, and none said anything else to lead L to believe that they knew anything.

The killings stopped entirely. That either meant that Kira had no willing accomplices, or that any willing accomplices had decided to lie low for the time being.

 _If there is a willing accomplice, has that person been given detailed orders, or are they now left to guess what Kira would want? An attack could come at any time, but if one occurs there is no way of knowing if it is according to Mikami's plan or if it has been thought up by someone else._

It took two days of no killings by Kira before the riot happened. Kira supporters attacked the NPA's Tokyo headquarters, demanding the release of both Kiras along with information about L. Their numbers weren't high enough to present a real threat to many well-armed police officers situated in their own headquarters, and nearly every rioter was arrested within an hour.

L wondered if this were anything like the riot that had led to his own captivity. Was the attack on the NPA headquarters entirely natural, or had it had been due to controlled victims? L sent orders through Kitamura to collect more than the usual amount of information on every rioter, in case any of them died within 23 days.

Matt finished his test of the notebook quickly, using ten convicts and arranging it so the convicts were all completely unaware that they'd touched anything before seeing Ryuk. Everything Matt tested, which was both covers and eight randomly selected pages from inside, all turned out to be real. This meant that there was almost no chance that it was a cobbled-together decoy made of a combination of real parts and fake parts.

Once Mikami's notebook had been verified as real, L put it in another safe rigged to burn the contents if anything went wrong. Then he spent a lot of time pouring over the high-resolution photographs of each page. Watari had found both Misa's and Mikami's fingerprints on the notebook, but nobody else's. There was not a trace of Mikami's handwriting inside. Mikami must have either removed pages before writing on them, or had destroyed them afterwards along with any blank pages that might have taken an impression. He was a lawyer, after all. He knew about evidence.

There was plenty of writing in the notebook. There were pages in Misa's handwriting, though it was obvious some of the pages she'd used had been ripped out. Ukita's name and the police officers that died at the Sakura TV incident were not there, and neither was Aiber's name. Plenty of names of criminals killed since Higuchi's death were there, along with large portions of the worldwide paparazzi massacre, though not all of it. Why had Mikami not destroyed all written pages? Perhaps he revered Kira so much that he found it difficult to destroy Kira's writing.

Then, in the pages earlier than those used by Misa, there was a different handwriting. It was a tiny scrawl, all with distinctive characteristics that meant it had to be by one individual even though it was in many different languages and writing systems.

On the very first page of the notebook it started with Akkadian cuneiform. Then it moved through a dizzying assortment of both exotic and common writing systems, including such oddities as Mixtec logographs and Mangyan script, and it transitioned gradually page by page into more modern languages. L had to hire a number of special consultants to translate it, and even they couldn't tell him everything. Some of the writing was unidentifiable. It had to be either extinct scripts that had disappeared without leaving any examples for archaeology, or perhaps things written in a shinigami language.

In the beginning, the names lacked causes of death. About halfway through its run, the mystery handwriting began adding causes of death that were gentle and painless, often with details of death that described happy events for 23 days.

The very last name before the distinctive tiny scrawl ceased was the name of Misa's stalker. There was no cause of death on that one.

From seeing Rem write Misa's name, the mystery handwriting did not appear to be Rem's. If it was, then Rem was disguising her handwriting for some reason. From the span of time apparently covered by the mystery handwriting, it could only be a shinigami who had written it. Somehow, two shinigami had been involved with Misa. Was a second invisible one hovering around Misa even yet? The entire incident seemed unbelievable and strange, as if Misa were some kind of shinigami magnet.

Rem had lied about killing Misa's stalker. Did Rem not kill humans? Was she too squeamish to do it? That would fit with a shinigami who was so interested in protecting a human. Rem might be all threats and no action. Still, she did seem very interested in protecting Misa, very attached. Just because she didn't like doing something, it didn't mean she never would in the future. Perhaps she had asked another shinigami to do it for her.

But then, the reason she'd given that shinigami's notebook to Misa still remained a mystery. If shinigami traded notebooks easily among themselves, then why wouldn't the notebook contain many different examples of handwriting over the rather long time span it seemed to cover? L spent days mulling over the issue in his mind, returning to it again and again, discarding some possibilities based on the knowledge about shinigami he'd managed to get so far, but unable to narrow down the remaining possibilities to just one conclusion.

Of the two outside research projects, the autopsy was the easy one, with the results in quickly. Abigail Degenstein's previous autopsy had established she had been pregnant at her time of death. The new autopsy was done in more depth, and indicated that she had been carrying a dead baby for possibly up to a week before her own death. It was a stillbirth that had not yet been expelled from her body, creating an illusion of pregnancy.

If there was a way to kill a truly pregnant woman with Kira's power, then it was some loophole that none of the Kiras had discovered. Especially when considering Light's intelligence and how much experimentation he performed, along with Light's willingness to kill innocents for the purpose of advancing his larger plan, it was likely that no such loophole existed.

The statistical analysis was difficult, and took several days. To eliminate bias or any preconceived notions, L told as little as possible to the statisticians he hired, limiting them to studying fluctuations in deaths and not mentioning Kira to them at all. None of them even realized they'd been hired by L. The figures for how much the murder rate had dropped were readily available, since that was a fairly simple calculation. L simply needed to know if there had been a tiny, corresponding fluctuation in the number of deaths by other causes, one that wasn't likely due to chance or natural variability.

With statistics, there was never any proof, nothing was ever certain. It was entirely a question of how probable it was that your theory was right. Still, hiring the top five statisticians in the world, including a Nobel Prize winner, should produce a reasonably reliable result one way or another. L had them working independently so as not to influence each other.

When the reports came in, each one leaned strongly toward the conclusion that deaths by illnesses and accidents had risen inexplicably over the time period that L had specified. Even after controlling for every known variable, there still seemed to be something more than normal variability, and that number of increased deaths from other causes looked quite similar to the estimated number of murders that should have happened if Kira hadn't been influencing the murder rate.

L did not tell Mikami anything, not even that the deaths had stopped. Instead, he interrogated him for an hour or two each day about the same topics, feigning frustration, and at other times L tried to engage Mikami in friendly discussions about neutral topics as a way to judge his personality and see if some tiny clue might slip out. L intended to wait 23 days after Mikami's capture before trying anything significant, to be sure that if Mikami had any controlled accomplices, they'd already be dead at that point.

As the days went by after Mikami's capture, L was delaying the obligatory once-weekly trip to visit Misa. He had a good excuse. He could claim to be unsure whether the Matsuzaki Detective Agency was still snooping around or not, and he intended to use that excuse for all it was worth, and then some. Fewer visits to Misa would mean a better emotional equilibrium, better decision-making. L felt stronger and more capable as he stayed away, with a growing determination and will to live.

Rem shouldn't panic unless the visits became spaced too far apart. She'd understood that excuse before, and it was perfect. It was actually a great thing Yumiko had done, a wonderful favor. L sent Watari with the few critical updates Rem would need about the situation, to reassure her that the broadcast was all according to plan and no harm would come to Misa.

It was during the fifteenth day of Mikami's captivity, during one of the "friendly chat" sessions, that Misa intruded into L's life again.

The sound to Mikami suddenly cut off, and Watari's symbol appeared on the monitor directly in front of L. Watari said, "L, a very important call from the hospital has come in. I'm rerouting it to your cellphone now."

With a few keystrokes L had entirely shut down the connection to Mikami and then his phone was ringing.

L fished it out of his pocket, answering, "Hello, this is Hideki Ryuga."

A man's voice said, "Mr. Ryuga, this is Dr. Kobayashi. We've spoken before about your wife's condition."

"Yes, I remember."

L swallowed. His entire mouth was suddenly very dry. He reached for his teacup, but it was empty.

Doctor Kobayashi said, "We've been trying to reach you for three hours. Your wife is awake. I'm very sorry, we almost didn't manage to stop her in time, but she escaped her room. She tried to fling herself out a window of our top floor. We're still not sure how she was stopped. There are... conflicting reports. I want to reassure you we have her in a high security room now and under constant watch. It will not happen again."

 _Rem would have prevented Misa from trying to jump out a window, perhaps even catching her in midair._

L said, "How is her condition?"

"She didn't injure herself, but her previous injuries are still present and we're currently evaluating them. She is very exhausted but can sit up by herself and also walk unsteadily. She blinks normally, her eyes follow objects, and she looks at people when they talk to her. It appears that her right arm and most of the right side of her face are paralyzed. She has not spoken at all but she has followed some simple commands. Because of this and the pattern of paralysis, we suspect aphasia, a language disorder. It will take more analysis to be sure. Aphasia does not affect intelligence, only the ability to communicate. Her pregnancy is still proceeding normally, and we will try to limit her physical activity until she is stronger."

"What about recovery?"

"Because this is caused by brain trauma, instead of the more usual stroke-caused aphasia, it is more complicated. If it is indeed aphasia, it is likely that recovery will only happen with language therapy. If we make that diagnosis, you must encourage your wife to dedicate herself to therapy, no matter how frustrating and difficult it is."

 _Rem will know that Misa needs therapy, so I cannot try to deprive Misa of it to prevent her from being able to communicate demands._

L said, "I understand. How long until language therapy might work?"

Doctor Kobayashi said, "It is highly variable. It depends on the exact variety of aphasia, how dedicated the patient is, and many other factors. You should expect months at least. If there is no improvement within a year, then it is likely to be an extremely long-term condition. Please do not have any preconceived notions at this point. It is too early to be sure, and even with the characteristic paralysis pattern of aphasia there is still a chance that your wife is refusing to speak of her own free will, or because of some other condition. I am simply preparing you for the most likely diagnosis."

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"Mr. Ryuga, we would like to contact you more easily. Waiting for your servant to call us can be difficult when there are sudden changes. Will you reconsider?"

"No. The current arrangement is best."

L disconnected. As he put the phone away a shiver went though his body, combined with a kind of nauseous twisting sensation in his stomach.

 _If Misa cannot talk, she will not be able to insist on any course of action, but how long will she remain silent? How long until she wants something of me? Now she apparently wants to die, but Rem would never let that happen and Misa could change her mind about that at any time. Misa is smarter than Rem, and can command Rem. As soon as Misa speaks, my hold on the situation could slip unless I can also discover how to control Rem._

L made the arrangements for a secret visit to Misa late that night. He was delivered in a large suitcase, and when he crawled out of it, the first thing he saw was the padded wall of Misa's new high-security hospital room, the second thing was Rem's bony form hunched over a hospital bed, and the third thing he noticed was two attendants sitting in chairs next to the bed.

L stood up, barely getting a flickering glance from Rem before she turned back to look down into the bed. With his standing motion, Misa became visible and the back of L's neck prickled at the sight. Her eyes held understanding, and horror. L had a sense of a largely intact mind trapped within her damaged body.

Misa was sitting in the bed. A nurse was spoon-feeding her some kind of brownish mash, like baby food. Her chewing was wrong, the motions of tongue and lips unnatural. The paralyzed right half of her face did something incredibly odd to her entire expression. The nurse dabbed at Misa's lips with a napkin and then stood aside expectantly.

L felt his feet carrying him forward into the role he was expected to fulfill, an automatic, uncontrolled movement. Everything was dream-like and strange. He stopped at the side of Misa's bed, breathing fast, feeling a strangling kind of panic rising in his throat. He quickly tried to crush it, tried to think only of how pitiful Misa was. He felt ashamed suddenly, and dirty.

Quickly, before he could change his mind, he took her non-paralyzed left hand in his two hands, brought it to his lips and kissed it. Her fingers twitched as his mouth lightly touched them. Putting on a show for Rem was important. He continued holding her hand and she seemed indifferent to it, not clinging to him but not pushing him away either.

He started to say something, and to his utter surprise he said, "Misa, please don't hurt me."

Misa blinked and tilted her head to the side in a slightly wobbly movement, as if things had slipped out of her control for a moment before she got her head back on track. Some emotion flashed strongly in Misa's eyes, and L had trouble identifying whether it was anger, or sadness, or perhaps a mix of both.

L had opened his mouth to speak again when Misa suddenly let out a strange noise, something that combined aspects of the bleat of a sheep, the cry of a baby and the sound of speech garbled beyond all recognition. One of the attendants immediately pulled out a notepad and wrote something.

L felt like he was falling apart inside, his insides trying to run out through the bottoms of his feet, but he pulled himself together and said, "Misa, I am not sure if you remember this or not, but I have been helping you and protecting you. You are safe here. I am your husband, Hideki Ryuga. We were married several months ago without telling your family, but they know now. I have spoken with all of them. You are pregnant. You've been pregnant with our child for about nine weeks. The doctors tell me it is a healthy pregnancy in every way except that your pelvis is too narrow and so they will need to perform a Caesarean section. Do you understand what I have told you, Misa?"

There was a pause, and then Misa squeezed L's hand.

L said, "You squeezed my hand because you understand? If so, squeeze it again."

There was another pause, and then Misa squeezed again. L was no longer looking at the attendant with the notepad, but he could hear the pencil scratching away furiously.

 _Misa pauses before answering. It is either reluctance, or she has some difficulty processing what I'm saying._

Rem said, "Misa was not this cooperative when her sister visited. She must love you."

Misa turned her face away into the pillow and let out a loud sigh. L moved forward to see her face, but the nurse held out a hand to stop him.

The nurse whispered, "She's asleep. Your wife does not have much stamina, and she needs her rest. I know you must miss her, but we only allowed her sister a fifteen-minute visit and that much completely exhausted her."

L felt an immense rush of gratitude toward the nurse. He said, "I understand. I will not burden her."

L carefully slipped his hands free of Misa's hand, and then, after sending a signal to Watari with his cellphone, crawled back into the suitcase so he could be secretly smuggled out of the building.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, Misa's back, but it isn't easy to recover from severe head injuries. Paralysis or weakness on the right side of the body, especially the top right, is a common symptom of the kind of aphasia where the person has much more difficulty with outgoing communication.


	30. Broadcast III

**CHAPTER 30: Broadcast III**

L continued hoarding the one question Ryuk would certainly allow him, saving it and trying to trick smaller answers out of Ryuk whenever he could.

Ryuk wouldn't say anything about the theory that a shinigami other than Rem had killed Misa's stalker, but he did sometimes let slip little details about the shinigami world or about things Light hadn't told L.

L had the feeling that he could grasp a tremendous, powerful secret if he simply asked the right question, which made him even more reluctant to ask that question until after he'd performed as much research as possible, or until an emergency happened. It was too valuable an opportunity to waste.

L waited to see whether any possible accomplice to Mikami would act, and he waited to see if the rioters that attacked the NPA's headquarters would die. He interviewed every single friend and acquaintance of Mikami, and in turn even those people's friends and acquaintances.

L prepared for the worst with Misa. He developed a number of alternative plans for fleeing with Misa, selecting and interviewing criminals who had been sentenced to death and setting them up for the possibility of playing various roles that would probably get them killed by Rem.

For a few of the roles that were too sensitive for criminals who might decide to run for freedom instead, L recruited agents from the FBI and elsewhere, explaining that this was a suicide mission and, if called to action, there would be a very low chance of survival. From the resulting pool of volunteers, L further weeded out every single person who had a family. He didn't want to leave bereaved loved ones behind.

L ended up with five major plans for fleeing with Misa under different scenarios, and each of those plans had at least three variations.

Once the preparations were mostly in place L took Matt aside and gave him a serious talk on what he should do, as the only team member unknown to Rem, if one of the "fleeing with Misa" plans had to be implemented.

Matt's eyes, just barely visible behind his goggles, got wide for a moment as L said, "If that happens, you should consider me to be your enemy. I can't be controlled into writing your name or otherwise killing you, but I can be controlled into betraying you, such as telling them how to find you or setting traps to lure you in. If I run, send the signal that burns both notebooks, warn Roger immediately, and get away as fast as possible. I know you can hack into the safe with the emergency cash. Don't hesitate to take all of it. Keep my intelligence in mind, and as you run and hide do not do anything that I would expect."

Matt said, "But that's... how could I hide from you?"

L said, "I believe you can do it, if you prepare now. Think of every trick you possibly can, and keep those tricks to yourself, never telling anyone. You probably have at least a week before I will do anything that would provoke Rem."

In reality, it was nearly two months later before L dared to make a move against Rem. He kept thinking of exactly what to do, and how to do it, but it was always so easy to delay a little longer, to gather more information, to make further preparations and deductions.

In the meantime, L put enormous effort into reducing Rem's suspicion. He visited Misa approximately every other day, and as soon as Misa wasn't quite so exhausted all the time, he usually stayed for an hour or two on each visit. Yumiko was also there most days, and she stayed for many hours longer than L, often not leaving until the staff kicked her out.

When L asked her about it, she muttered, "It's the only advantage to working for relatives. If there's a family emergency, you can get as much time off as you want."

Yumiko was at least slightly drunk more often than not, and it actually made her less abrasive. Sober Yumiko tended to be jittery, aggressive and full of accusations, but drunk Yumiko was quiet, a little sad, and even, at times, friendly. L could easily see why alcohol was so attractive to her.

Dealing with Misa was easier once L retreated into fantasies again. He imagined Misa was someone else as he held her hand, as he talked to her, as he looked into her eyes.

L pretended that Misa had somehow been replaced by a different person during her coma. It helped that Misa was uninterested in everything, that she didn't try to kiss him, that she rarely went so far as to even snuggle into his arm, and that she spent so much time simply staring at the wall.

L's nausea returned frequently, but it was tolerable. He forced himself to endure it, to never throw up. L was immensely grateful that Misa didn't show any signs that she wanted to initiate sex, and he was glad that multiple other people were usually present, forming a barrier to intimacy. He sometimes kissed her, but never on the mouth, only on her hand, the side of her face or the top of her head.

Her face was more difficult to read now that half of it was paralyzed. L found himself struggling as never before to gauge her moods, to predict her actions, to figure out just what it was that Misa wanted. Other than death, that is. It was very clear that Misa had not changed her mind about her wish to die.

Her suicide attempts were regular, almost predictable, about once a week. She was sneaky enough that she might have succeeded with them except for Rem. The hospital staff tried hard, but only Rem was ceaselessly watching Misa with an inhuman level of attention at all times.

Even under Rem's watch, Misa had once managed to injure herself with one of her attempts. She had secretly stolen a paperclip, unraveled it with her hand hidden under her blanket, sharpened the end, and when the hospital workers all chanced to turn their backs at the same moment, stabbed herself in the neck. She hit the jugular vein precisely, but was attended to moments later by the workers present, so she had been in no danger of serious harm. It ended with just a couple of stitches and a bandage on her neck, a grisly reminder.

Misa's disgust with her own life, her indifference and her generally uncooperative nature made L's job of giving Rem the wrong impression easier. When L was sure Misa wouldn't actually do anything, it was safer to encourage her, to tell her that things would be okay if she just used a little hope, to try to convince her to go along with her therapists, to appear to be concerned, to pour into his tone of voice all the pity that he truly did feel for Misa. She was a pathetic, miserable, frail little thing. It would be impossible to feel no pity for her.

It was obvious that Misa hated her doctors, nurses, therapists and all the hospital staff members. She was uncooperative in the extreme, throwing frequent tantrums, needing to be coaxed and goaded into participating in speech therapy and various medical evaluations. She was put on anti-depressants and forced to see a psychiatrist four times a week, but her mood didn't improve much.

L was genuinely surprised that Misa obeyed him more often than she obeyed anyone else, and he was constantly trying to guess why, trying to gauge her motivations from her new much-harder-to-read face. He even tried directly asking her, but with her language issues and uncaring attitude it was extremely difficult to extract any information.

Misa understood most of what was said to her. Her comprehension was reduced from that of a normal person, but it wasn't radically impaired. Speaking more slowly and clearly did not help and only made her angry, but speaking at a normal speed with gaps between sentences helped. She had to think about what was said, to process it, before moving on to the next thing. There was always a pause before she responded to a command or acknowledged that she'd understood.

Outgoing communication was a different issue altogether. Misa had great difficulty with speaking, and her embarrassment over the garbled babbling she usually produced only made the issue worse. She was clearly ashamed and she tended to be silent and uncooperative towards the speech therapists brought in to help her, preferring to try to get her ideas across by pointing or elaborate gesturing.

Writing was also a great difficulty. Misa had forgotten the meanings of written words. She could copy kanji by looking at them, but seemed unaware of what they meant or how to assemble them into sentences, and while writing she usually had to glance back at whatever she was copying to get it right.

Misa's doctors were surprised that Misa had a much easier time with writing names than anything else, but only the names of people who were actually present or those she had photos of. They were also mystified that Misa sometimes wrote numbers after those names. L made a habit of putting his hand down and stopping Misa when she tried to write the numbers. He didn't want to know anyone's fated day of death, especially not Watari's. It was too cruel. As long as you didn't know, choice still remained, even if it was an illusion, but if you did know you were locked into an inescapable fate. Misa seemed to know that L's own name was off-limits and she never even tried to write it.

L was there when Misa said her first actual word. She looked straight at L and said, "Sushi."

It was nothing like her usual garbled messes that didn't even seem like words. It was clear and precise, the pronunciation nearly perfect except for a slight flaw induced by the droopy side of her mouth.

L immediately sent for fifteen different kinds of sushi, and Misa selected one kind, eating it with exaggerated excitement and pointing at it emphatically until L sent for even more.

Misa's words were sporadic and unpredictable, and they rarely lined up in anything resembling a sentence. She either made noises that were almost non-verbal or she spoke clear words, there was nothing in between. Her moments of speech often surprised even her.

Sometimes she could deliberately produce words when using enough intense concentration, and other times she failed again and again, only to perhaps succeed at a later time without even trying. She didn't try often enough to satisfy her therapists. They were constantly complaining of her uncooperative nature. She was sometimes even physically violent with them, slapping, biting and clawing.

Early on, Misa had been presented with photographs of nearly everyone she knew, to try to gauge the full extent of her brain damage and see if there were any memory impairments. Misa indicated that she knew all of the people she'd been shown, and when she came to a photo of Light she became extremely emotional and fiercely possessive of it, refusing to give it back.

Yumiko noticed and obtained more photos of Light. L was glad that it was Yumiko and not himself facing the surviving Yagami family members and asking for pictures of Light. L did not want to ever meet with Sayu or Sachiko. He felt almost entirely at fault for the mistakes that had led to Soichiro's death.

Light's photos were some of the rare things that could make Misa briefly pleased, though they also made her cry. Misa made a little shrine to Light on a small table in her room. She wasn't allowed picture frames because of the glass, but Yumiko helped Misa to create makeshift frames with paper, clear plastic and glue, so all the photos could be propped up and protected from dust.

Misa's attitude toward the shrine to Light allowed more deductions into her inner beliefs than her face did. With the shrine, she was reverent, guilty, sad, and angry all at once. As L observed her, he supposed that Misa had decided she was personally unworthy of Light's love, to blame for the way he'd died, and not suitable as his successor to the Kira role.

L had trouble deciding how Misa viewed the entire Kira scheme. There were still two possibilities. One was that she felt unable to perform the role herself but thought someone else such as Mikami should. The other possibility was that everything she'd been through and the shock of realizing how many children she'd orphaned by killing off Hideki Ryuga's servants had made her decide the entire Kira scheme was a bad idea.

It was too sensitive a topic to ask Misa directly, with Rem hovering nearby all the time. Instead, L waited and watched, always calculating, trying to see how he could turn Misa into an advantage instead of a liability. It had been possible to use her against Higuchi, and she could still fulfill a role in events to come. If Misa felt guilty and unworthy enough, it might even be possible to convince her to willingly go to trial, and to get her to convince Rem to not kill.

As L waited and built his plans, he tried to walk the fine line between low-consequence actions with Misa that would convince Rem that there was some genuine affection between them, and high-consequence actions that would leave him drowning in nightmares every time he tried to sleep. The entire process was a strain and not quite perfect. Rem didn't seem to notice the flaws in L's act, and L wasn't sure whether Misa did, but Yumiko noticed it somehow.

Once, when L had just let go of Misa's hand and felt a flood of relief move through him, Yumiko quietly said, "You're afraid of her, Ryuga, aren't you? You've always been afraid of her. What did Misa do?"

Misa walked to the little shrine, her right arm dangling lifelessly at her side, and tapped one of Light's photos with her left hand.

Misa said, very emphatically, "Killed him. Killed him."

Yumiko's eyes widened. She approached Misa with apprehension showing on her face, grabbed Misa's shoulders and in a soft, dangerous-sounding voice said, "Who killed him? Who killed Light?"

Misa tapped her own chest.

Yumiko's voice got even quieter as she said, "No, you wouldn't! Not you. I know you."

Misa said, "I... kill."

Rem was looking very worried.

L said, "Misa, you're confused. Light's death wasn't your fault. He committed suicide because of me. I am the one to blame."

Misa turned suddenly and slapped L's face so hard that his head snapped to the side and even his neck felt the twisting impact.

L could almost feel a phantom presence of the restraints on him once again, and he wanted to scream. Before he knew it he had backed up into a wall and there, desperately overwhelmed by the need to run but having to go close to Misa to get to the door, he instead slid down the wall and curled up on the floor.

Clutching his legs and arms close to his body brought only a little of his equilibrium back. He breathed slowly, deliberately, trying to calm down, hiding his face between his arms, blocking out any sight of Misa.

He felt a hand on him then, petting his shoulder and his side. He tried to make himself believe it was Yumiko, but in the next instant he heard Misa's voice babbling from close by and it ruined the illusion. Misa let out a wordless murmuring with a soft tone that sounded as if it were meant to soothe. She stroked with her hand gently, delicately, as if petting a fragile baby kitten.

 _I can't react too badly to this, or Rem might start getting suspicious again._

L tried to endure it quietly but his body was betraying him, first with a light shivering and then with increasingly violent tremors.

Yumiko suddenly said, "Misa, what the hell are you doing? Leave him alone. He's so frightened he's shaking."

Misa's hand went away, and L ventured to lift his head just slightly, peeking out at the room between a tangle of his arms and his hair fallen into his eyes.

He saw Yumiko having pulled Misa away by a firm grip on her elbow, and Misa with tears streaming down her face.

 _Does Misa realize she raped me? Is she starting to feel guilty?_

Yumiko pulled Misa towards her into a gentle hug and whispered, "Misa, what's wrong? What's wrong with you?"

Misa tried to say something in return but it wasn't a word at all. It wasn't even close to a word. Misa's face tightened into that frustrated, embarrassed expression L had become all too familiar with.

Still holding Misa, Yumiko said, "It all started when you became obsessed with Kira. That's when it started, but I thought the idea of Kira was making you happy, so I never tried to argue with you. I was wrong. You must have been going crazy because of Kira, because of thinking that he was some kind of savior for you. I shouldn't have let you decide that your life should revolve around trying to find Kira. That's what happened, isn't it? You tried to find Kira and you found the wrong sort of people instead, and they made you like this."

Misa let out an odd strangled squawking sound. Yumiko gently pet Misa's hair.

Yumiko said, "Misa, I should have told you this a long time ago. You need to know Kira didn't bring justice to our parents. I didn't tell you this before because, well, because Mom and Dad made me promise never to tell you and because I thought you were happier not knowing."

Misa broke away from the hug, still crying, but now she looked angry.

Yumiko said, "Our parents were embezzlers. That's where I got the idea of trying it myself. They never stole from family; it was mostly from three corporations, and it was a lot of money. Probably enough to get on the news, even if you hadn't been starting to get famous. I-I was sure they were going to get caught. Someone was blackmailing them the last three years. That's why we didn't have much money then. Mom and Dad could never figure out who it was. The demands were becoming too expensive so they didn't always pay. I think the burglar was someone sent by the blackmailer to scare them, and things became more violent than the blackmailer had planned. I tried to get the police to look into it, but they were moving slowly. Maybe they would have kept the case open and caught the blackmailer if the burglar had lived."

Yumiko took a deep breath and then said, "I researched it, and it looked like Kira always killed embezzlers who steal as much as our parents did. If they hadn't been killed by the burglar, Kira would have noticed their crimes and... Kira would have killed Mom and Dad."

 _This is not good for Misa's state of mind. She could entirely disintegrate._

Misa's face was a mask of shock, the eyes staring, her skin red and shiny from tears. Everything felt very dangerous.

L continued to peer out from between his arms, watching Rem and Misa both getting worked up while he was gripped by a kind of horrified, paralyzed fascination, unable to act or to think of how to make the situation better.

Yumiko said, "Kira isn't a savior at all. If you've changed because you idolize Kira, you can change back. I know you can."

Misa's face was starting to look insane, her eyes darting back and forth with a heart-wrenching haunted expression.

Rem said, "Misa, maybe your sister is lying, to try to make you feel better. She can't know it would have the opposite effect."

Misa let out a strange little scream that changed in the middle into broken laughter, short, sharp odd expulsions almost like barks.

Rem approached and said, "Do something about this! You can think of something, can't you?"

The air was suddenly thick, too thick and stifling to breathe. It was pressing in horribly from every side, feeling dirty, soiled, trying to get inside L and rot him from within. L didn't care what Rem thought even if it led to his death. He didn't care about his elaborate preparations for being smuggled out either. He had to get out, to get away before Misa's corruption ate away at his soul too badly again.

L was up and running, barefoot, leaving the room, dashing down a hallway and slipping into a stairwell, going round and round at a furious pace as he descended, panting desperately. He felt pursued, as if everything bad that had ever threatened him was now invisibly chasing after him, and it would catch him and destroy him if he paused for even one moment.

Once he was outdoors the air felt a little better and the panic only reduced slightly, enough for him to barely take in his surroundings as he darted around pedestrians on the sidewalk, intent on putting as much distance between himself and Misa as possible.

It was only after he'd run more blocks than he knew and his chest was burning that he finally sat down, noticed blood on one foot and picked out a piece of glass. He felt silly, angry with himself for losing control, and on top of the rest of the bad feelings Misa caused, L now felt guilt as well. Misa was too pitiful to not inspire guilt.

Passersby were stopping to stare at L as he curled up on the sidewalk, picking at his bloody foot and shaking. Their glances looked as if they were full of disgust and unvoiced accusations.

 _I should not be the one who feels guilty. Nearly every bad event that I'm feeling guilty about was mostly Misa's fault, and I have every right to use Misa in my schemes against Rem, against Misa herself, and against Mikami._

Still, the guilt settled in L's belly, almost a physical presence churning around. It should be possible to rationalize it away, to reason with it, but like so many of the ugly emotions associated with Misa, it did not follow the dictates of logic. These emotions simply had to be endured; they were dirty and inconvenient, like mud that had to be slogged through the hard way. It was incredibly unfair.

A woman walking by stopped, leaned down and said, "Do you need me to take you to the hospital? Where is your mother?"

 _Do I really look that young?_

A man plucked at the woman's sleeve and said, "Stay away. He's shaking like a junkie; he probably just wants your money for more drugs."

The woman said, "He's hurt, can't you see?"

L slipped his cellphone from a pocket and said, "I'll call my grandfather to pick me up."

While L spoke briefly with Watari, the woman hovered nearby, ignoring the man's attempts to subtly encourage her to leave. Some of the other gawkers left, but not all, and a few more arrived to stare.

As soon as L put away the phone, the woman said, "I'll stay until your grandfather actually arrives. I couldn't stand leaving anyone on the street, bleeding and without shoes."

L curled up on himself more and said, "That is appreciated."

The words felt hollow, the situation distant. L realized he should feel grateful for someone showing him concern, but he didn't. His mind kept returning to Rem, of how Rem would react, of what she would think. He knew he couldn't return immediately to try to smooth things over and explain. He couldn't think of what to say to Rem and he felt like he'd completely fall apart if he returned too soon.

 _This is bad. Rem must know things are not as they appear to be. She is at least that intelligent, to know that normal husbands don't have panic attacks when their wives slap them and then try to comfort them. There is nothing I can say to make it better. Will Rem kill me now? Or will she count on my fear to keep me on Misa's side?_

L was barely aware of the surprised exclamations of bystanders as a very fancy car pulled up. He numbly opened the door and slipped inside, grateful when the closing of the soundproof door created an enveloping, safe-feeling silence.

Watari was quiet as he pulled away, but L could see his worried face in the mirror. L knew that Watari was observing the slight trembling that wouldn't go away just yet.

L breathed slowly and steadily a few more times. He fastened his gaze on the seat beneath him, watching with a detached curious feeling as the blood trickled out of his foot, staining the seat where he crouched. It had to be a deeper wound than it seemed, a puncture wound. It would need to be cleaned properly and inspected to be sure that no fragment of glass was still lodged inside it.

L became aware that Watari was speaking, but the words didn't register at all.

L looked up just as Watari finished, made an effort to focus on Watari's face reflected in the mirror.

In answer to the presumed question, L said, "Panic attack."

Watari replied in a very gentle voice, "I asked you where you wanted to go."

L said, "Medical attention. Not Misa's hospital. Far away."

There was some more slow breathing. Everything seemed stretched out, as if time itself were taking longer. L struggled once again with an irrational conviction that the air was choking him, and when he felt he'd won, that he'd buried that feeling deep inside, his thoughts began to run in something like their usual channels.

L said, "I'm not suited to this role, but there is nobody else who can do it. Today, I did not behave as I should have. Misa is worse than ever, and Rem probably suspects I have no love for Misa. I'm sorry. We could all die because of my mistake."

"You said before that it would be difficult for Rem to secure someone else who is as potentially useful as you are."

"That is true. It also would be completely insane for anyone to try to cross a shinigami. Rem probably thinks I cannot act against Misa, no matter how much I might wish to. Rem could make my death into an unimaginable torture."

Watari said, "L, you are performing your job well. I am sure that you will not cause our deaths needlessly. You have been calculating everything, taking no unnecessary risks."

"I am more cowardly than I used to be. Yet, the shinigami is more dangerous than any Kira. If Rem decides to take revenge or act on her own, unimaginable horrors could be inflicted on everyone, especially all the law enforcement officials who've ever had anything to do with the Kira case. I do not want to sacrifice their lives."

"Your habit of fully evaluating the situation has served you well in the past. When there is a reason for caution, it is not cowardice. I am sure you will take as much time as the situation warrants."

L took comfort in that statement, hoping he was thinking everything through well enough and choosing the right course of action. He tried harder to preserve his sanity, to prevent damage to his mind. His mind was his only defense. You couldn't act physically against a shinigami.

Things changed after that. L kept up the same schedule of visits, nearly every other day, but he was more reserved, not kissing Misa at all any more and only occasionally holding her hand. Rem did appear to notice, but she didn't say anything.

Yumiko certainly knew something was up and commented on it, digging for clues in her typical curious way, but not getting any results. She was refreshingly normal, a counterpoint to the horror of things even though she was obviously disturbed by the situation as well.

When Yumiko was drunk she was much friendlier than ever before, and when she was sober more of her accusations were now being aimed at Misa rather than at L himself. It was nice not to be a target. It was comforting in a way, even when it made Rem squirm to see Yumiko sometimes veer near the truth.

Drunk Yumiko was more perceptive than sober Yumiko, and she even said once, half-jokingly, "Sometimes I think Misa's trying to tell me she's Kira."

Yumiko went into a giggling fit at that, leaning her head against the wall and not seeing that Misa was furiously tapping her own chest, in Misa's well-established way of indicating herself.

L never decided on his own to act against Rem. He was pushed into it by circumstances. One day there was a heart-attack death of a French criminal within a few minutes of his crime being announced on the news. Many people noticed and speculated, not just L. Was it a coincidence, or was there a Kira passing judgments? And why just one death, after a gap of about two months? Around the world, countless articles appeared and the media talked of it constantly.

The next day, it happened again. Just one criminal, from Poland, and the heart attack was suspiciously timed. The announcement in the media and the death were a mere 78 seconds apart that time.

It happened every day thereafter, for twelve days altogether, and then it stopped.

Each victim had a western name. There were no Japanese criminals, and none with names written in anything other than Roman letters.

There was a code, and it was extremely simple, completely obvious. It was in English, probably because of the massive ambiguities involved in Japanese names, although it was also possible that the Kira proxy was a foreigner.

The first letters of the first names of the criminals spelled out:

K-I-R-A-I-A-M-R-E-A-D-Y

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, a big plot twist has happened, and we're almost at the climax.

But L is not in a good situation, with pretending to love his rapist. He didn't calculate how hard the act would be.


	31. Spy

**CHAPTER 31: Spy**

L waited for two days to see if any additional letters would be added, but the message was finished. There were no more criminal deaths to spell anything out.

As soon as this was clear, he called a meeting.

Wedy was still wearing her motorcycle helmet to thwart Ryuk, as she did every time she visited headquarters. Matt was relaxed in a beanbag chair with his goggles pulled over his eyes, the tint almost entirely hiding them. Watari was standing with his hands clasped behind his back next to a dessert cart with various treats on it, and Ryuk was practically bouncing in the air with glee, even doing a few flips.

L was curled up in an overstuffed chair, with a large bowl of ice cream on a little table in front of him. He had a bunch of crackers stacked in patterns next to the bowl, and he used them to scoop up dollops of ice cream and then ate them.

L fiddled with the crackers for a little bit, soothing his nerves. Mikami was visible on multiple large monitors just behind Matt, sitting on the cot of his cell, his face with an attentive expression and his back ramrod-straight in perfect posture even though he could hear nothing and hadn't been spoken to in hours.

L put down a cracker and said, "We cannot yet prove Mikami did anything wrong other than lie to us a little bit, and if he were put on trial now he could easily claim that Kira threatened him into lying. However, I have no doubt that he was the one acting as the principal Kira, and that he intends to do something if we let him go."

Wedy said, "Are you going to let him go?"

L dipped a cracker in his ice cream, being sure to scoop up some caramel and strawberry topping, and said, "Yes."

After taking a bite, L continued, "I am sure Mikami will incriminate himself quickly if we let him go. Also, letting him go may be the only way to flush out the person who is now ready to assist Kira. We do not know what plan this new person might try to launch, but if they have many pages they could kill constantly for months without running out, so they could be nearly as dangerous as any normal Kira. They could strike at the police or create a vast massacre of any kind they wanted. If they are waiting for directions from Kira and do not receive them, they might become highly unpredictable."

 _There is possibly a way to stop all of this, but it might make it impossible to convict Misa or Mikami. However, it would save lives and the value of completely eliminating the Kira threat is greater than the value of convicting one or two Kiras._

L said, "Ryuk, I do not want to ask the one special question just yet, but I was wondering if you'd answer a smaller general question for free. If I destroyed Mikami's notebook, would all the pages removed from it lose their power?"

Ryuk said, "I have no idea. I don't think any shinigami has ever done that. We've not an imaginative bunch, in case you haven't noticed."

Matt said, "And we can't test that without either erasing Mikami's memories or letting Rem loose."

Watari said, "Either one of those options should be a last resort, correct?"

"You are correct," L replied.

Matt said, "If we let Mikami free, won't it just turn into a waiting game? Mikami will know we're watching him and that we'll probably have hidden cameras installed everywhere we think he might go. Plus, we can't always watch him. He'll find a way to slip away and do whatever he's planning while we aren't filming him."

"That's why," L said, "I'm going to talk Rem into spying on him for us. We only need to smuggle Misa within that certain distance of his position at all times, and then Rem can observe everything Mikami does in perfect invisibility and report back to us. It is an advantage for Misa if Mikami can be convicted for his crimes, while never realizing who was commanding him."

Ryuk threw back his head and laughed, then said, "That's what I like about you. You're always thinking of such interesting plans."

L said, "And Ryuk won't interfere in any way because it is more entertaining to watch events unfold naturally, correct?"

"Yep. If I were willing to interfere, you'd have been dead months ago. Or you'd have escaped from Misa much sooner. I pretty much knew you'd get out of that eventually. You're a lot smarter than Misa. Now I'm glad I didn't tell you how to defeat Rem. It would have taken all the fun out of this."

 _It is time to use my hoarded question. There are only a few possibilities. I could ask about the plan Mikami set up and the mysterious person who is ready to receive orders and enact it. I could ask about the incident where a different shinigami apparently killed to protect Misa and then Rem lied about it. I could also directly ask how to safely act against Rem._

L said, "Ryuk, if I ask the special question and make the deal to supply you with apples for life, what will you do if you don't know the answer?"

"Hey, 'I don't know' is a real answer, so then you'll have wasted your question, but you'll still owe me the apples."

 _Ryuk might not know the details of Mikami's plan, and he might not know about the incident with the other shinigami and Misa's stalker. As I thought, it is best to ask the most important and direct question, the one I know Ryuk has the answer to._

L fortified himself with a few more cracker-scoops of ice cream. Watari had supplied very healthy whole-grain crackers, so the desert was a compromise between healthy and unhealthy.

L said, "Ryuk, I am now asking that question. I will supply you with apples for as long as I live in return for this. Wherever I am, there will always be plenty of apples whenever you care to visit."

 _I'd rather never see Ryuk again, but I will have to put up with this._

L went over the question one more time in his mind, quadruple-checking that he'd worded it precisely enough that there shouldn't be any loopholes.

When he had finished, he took a deep breath and said, "Ryuk, how could a human, such as myself, prevent a shinigami, such as Rem, from killing me or possibly other humans as well?"

Ryuk said, "There's a very simple way to defeat her. I doubt you can survive it, though."

"You said something like that before. I will make the decision whether to die for this or not."

"So, you don't want to be ordered around by Rem for the rest of your life? I don't blame you. She's pretty tiresome."

"What is the answer?"

Ryuk said, "There's only one way to prevent a shinigami from being able to kill a human. A dead shinigami can't kill anyone. You'd have to kill Rem. I don't think she'd ever allow it. She'd kill you as soon as she realized you were killing her, and you'd both die together."

L said, "If I can solve the case and permanently stop all the Kiras, it would be worth it to die. How does a human kill a shinigami?"

Ryuk laughed and said, "Oh, that's a second question. I told you I wouldn't go into a bunch of detail, I'd just give you a simple answer. But I'm feeling kind of generous today, so I'll tell you a little more and see if you can figure out the rest by yourself."

L said, "I promise I will not try to kill you, and I promise telling me will be worth it in terms of entertainment. If I can act more freely, you'll see more interesting things, Ryuk."

Ryuk laughed and said, "Oh, you can't kill me anyway, because I'm not that stupid. Shinigami don't die by accident, unless they're too lazy to write down names and run out of lifespan, or unless they don't know the rules and break one of the deadly rules. Rem knows all the rules and she's not close to running out of lifespan. In order to kill her, you'd have to convince her to commit suicide. In order to kill her safely, you'd have to first convince her not to kill you. Light schemed for months to set up Rem to kill herself without Rem being likely to kill him in the process. He had to convince Rem that he would protect Misa even after Rem died, and that Misa could not protect herself without his guidance."

 _I am not in the same situation Light was. Light's guilt and Misa's guilt were linked, so that he would have had little choice but to protect her until he could unsuspiciously dispose of her, at least as long as the task force members lived. It is obvious that if Rem weren't around to threaten me, I could hand over Misa and all the evidence to the authorities and put her on trial. In order to convince Rem of my good intentions, I would need to do a far better job of pretending to have a loving relationship with Misa, and that process would likely destroy me._

Suddenly, disparate bits of information were lining up in L's mind, and all the supporting pieces of evidence clicked neatly into place, forming a pattern.

L said, "Some rules cannot be broken or the shinigami dies. One of the deadly rules is that shinigami are not allowed to protect humans. If they do, the shinigami's remaining lifespan is transferred to the human and the shinigami dies. That is what happened during the incident with Misa's stalker, and that is why Rem has a second notebook. Am I correct?"

Ryuk leaned down, so his grinning devil-clown face was at the same height as L's face and only a short distance away.

Ryuk said, "Wow, you sure figured that out fast. But it is only forbidden to knowingly protect the lives of humans you care about. Protecting humans you care about from non-lethal threats is allowed, and so is unknowingly killing a person who would have later killed a human you care about. The intent matters."

L stacked a few crackers in a little tower and then, knocking it over with a finger, said, "I could kill Rem by sending an attacker to kill Misa."

Ryuk said, "That would only work if Misa's lifespan were about to run out at that moment. If it isn't, Rem will know that the attacker could at most injure Misa, and if she killed the attacker nothing would happen, because Rem was only stopping an injury, not extending Misa's life. If you sent an attacker and Misa died before her lifespan ran out, Rem would know you'd written Misa's name and Rem would take revenge after that, even if a human observer would think the attacker caused Misa's death."

L said, "In any of those situations, Rem would still be alive and would turn against me, with no gain for myself or the world. The only way I could kill Rem would be if I set up a threat that would be likely to result in Misa's death at some unspecific future time. That is why I was the perfect person for Light to use in his attempt to kill Rem. It was clear I would catch Misa at some future time unless Rem stopped me, but it was not clear how long it would be until I solved the case or how long Misa's trial and execution would take. Therefore, it might well match up with the end of Misa's lifespan. Even if she were given life in prison and died many years later from suicide or prison risks, I would still be the cause of that death."

"You got it."

Matt said, "We can't find out when Misa dies, because Mikami can't see her lifespan. Only shinigami can see it and they can't tell us. Maybe we could convince Misa to give up ownership so Mikami can see her lifespan, but then Rem would be loose and she could watch everything we do, or she could try to convince other shinigami to kill us without any consequences to herself."

Wedy said, "Ryuzaki, you're going to die, aren't you?"

L said, "Not necessarily, but it is beginning to look as if the only plausible threat to Misa is a detective such as myself, and it would be extremely difficult to convince Rem that some other detective is a more serious threat than I am. Let me think."

L let himself be absorbed in playing with his food, arranging the crackers into more patterns, dipping them into ice cream and then biting into them with satisfying crunches, enjoying the mix of textures and flavors, and at last using one finger to swipe up the remainder of the molten ice cream and toppings and licking it clean, allowing his mind to run busily the entire time.

When he was done, L said, "If I act against Rem in any significant way, I will likely die. Because it will result in her death if she kills me, and then Misa will be completely unprotected, Rem is unlikely to kill me for minor acts of insubordination. I must be clearly and directly acting against Rem."

L paused long enough to eat the last cracker and stare mournfully into his empty bowl of ice cream, and then said, "I might deliberately provoke Rem into killing me in order to prevent the possibility of Interpol or other law enforcement agencies tracking down Misa while Rem is still alive. If that happened, Rem would know she was helpless against so many enemies and she might choose to preserve her own life until after Misa's death, so that she could take revenge on all law enforcement officials who had even the slightest bit to do with Misa's death. My death could preserve the lives of many others."

Matt said, "But, you're not going to get yourself killed right away, are you? Can't you at least give yourself time to think of some way around it?"

L said, "Of course. We must face the present threats before preparing for future threats. We will prepare for the worst. Watari, I would like you to give Matt both notebooks and all the emergency cash. Matt, you should start fleeing today. I won't do anything until tomorrow, and that should give you a head start even if I end up being controlled. Do not return home. I will send a message to everyone there, to evacuate and hide in whatever safe houses they think I can't find, for at least a month or two to give me time to die in case I get controlled. They've all had training in how to go underground and disappear, so it shouldn't be a problem."

Matt sat up straight in his beanbag chair, though it took an obvious effort to do so, and in a very quiet voice he said, "I won't see you alive again?"

"Perhaps. I want you gone within a couple of hours. I am trusting your judgment, Matt. I believe you will make the right decision and destroy both notebooks before letting them fall into other hands, even if I end up being controlled and Kira takes hostages to try to force you to hand them over. It is my dying wish that you never use them and never let anyone else have them. Do not destroy them too soon unless there seems to be an emergency or unless you think you will be tempted if you don't destroy them. Keep in mind that if you destroy Misa's notebook too soon it will allow Rem more freedom to act against us, and that if you destroy Mikami's notebook before I've tricked him into revealing his accomplice the case could go badly. Once again, I stress that I am relying on your judgment and intelligence to make those decisions properly."

Matt got a very serious look on his face and said, "You can count on me. If you die, I won't let your death be wasted."

L said, "Good. Wedy, I will prepare a number of documents with secret codes attached that will prove to Interpol these documents are certainly from me. These documents will outline my general plans and tell all of Rem's weaknesses. Those pursuing Rem need to know that the killer notebooks cannot be used to murder pregnant women and that, if Rem is still alive, she can be killed by the right kind of plausible threat to Misa. They also need to know that otherwise Rem must be negotiated with to avoid a revenge massacre after Misa's death. Wedy, I want you to go into hiding and if it seems I have lost and died, send the documents to Interpol after a couple of months. Be careful in case I get controlled and try to lure you into a trap."

Wedy said, "What happens if I die?"

L said, "If I provoke Rem into killing me and herself, I think there is a strong chance she won't think to kill you as well. However, you should set up an emergency plan I don't know about to send the documents to Interpol even if you die in a controlled death."

Matt jumped up from his beanbag and approached. His arms encircled L's crouched form from the side in an awkward hug. He said, "In case you die, thanks for being brave."

Wedy said, "I'd give you a goodbye kiss, but I don't want to remove my helmet. I'll just say thanks for making the world safe for criminals."

L dryly said, "Not exactly what I had in mind, but the world should be fair for everyone, no matter what they've done or what they've been accused of doing. Criminals deserve to be judged by a justice system, not a secretive madman with supernatural powers who cannot be held accountable by society."

Matt broke the hug and said, "What are you going to do about Mikami? Anything other than having Rem follow him and tattle to you as soon as he does something?"

L said, "The decoy notebook is in place at the 'A Cure for Forgetful Husbands' warehouse, and if Mikami tries to obtain that notebook and write in it, I will not only have the evidence to convict him, I will also fake the deaths of whoever he writes so he will remain unsuspecting long enough to get in contact with his unknown accomplice. However, I intend to also take a drastic step to ensure we will win if Mikami tries something unexpected."

L's stomach felt a bit queasy at what he was about to admit to.

L said, "I will ask permission from Interpol to be allowed to kill Mikami with Kira's power if I judge that the situation is getting out of hand. This will be a last resort action, like a sniper used in a hostage situation. With this permission from the authorities, it will not be murder as it was when I killed Light. I will have a scrap of notebook paper with me at all times, and I will write Mikami's name with a controlled confession so he will tell everything he knows."

Matt said, "You're not willing to kill Mikami that way now? It would save a lot of trouble to do it now instead of later. Or are you afraid that Mikami planned for this? Or that Interpol won't give you permission to kill if the situation isn't an emergency, and then it'll be murder?"

"You guessed correctly on both counts, Matt. With Mikami knowing the ways people can be controlled, Mikami might have ensured he doesn't know the identity of his accomplice, so that he can't be controlled into revealing it. In that case, if I controlled him into confessing before letting him go, he would become useless for anything and we'd have to start from the beginning again to find his accomplice, possibly with very little time before some devastating plan is put into motion. No, I would rather hold that plan of controlling Mikami in reserve and only use it if it seems there is no other choice. Mikami should not suspect that I can get an invisible shinigami to spy on him. He will almost certainly give himself away once he becomes fully convinced that there are no hidden cameras."

Wedy said, "That way, you can win no matter what he does."

"You are correct. Mikami will either incriminate himself and lead us to his accomplice, or if it becomes clear he will do neither and the accomplice starts acting on their own with a plan that will lead to too many deaths, then I will force Mikami to confess all he knows. There should be no escape for him."

Watari said, "Excellent work, Ryuzaki. I will prepare Matt for departure."

Watari began leading Matt away. Matt looked back over his shoulder, as if memorizing a last sight of L.

L said, "Matt, I am sure you will make a great detective. I trust you."

Matt gave a short sharp nod, followed by a wave as he left the room.

L stepped out of his chair and approached the computers, saying, "Wedy, it should take less than ten minutes to prepare the documents. Please leave as fast as possible. If I end up being controlled, I could catch you and so you'll do best with a very big head start."

In a gentle-sounding voice, slightly muffled by the motorcycle helmet, Wedy said, "I've learned a few things since you caught me the first time. It won't be so easy as you think."

"You'll get your sister and your parents into hiding as well? So if I betray the fact that they could be used as hostages against you it won't do Rem any good?"

Wedy chuckled and said, "Of course. I can get them hidden so well God himself would have a hard time finding them."

 _Everyone is going away. I'll be alone with Watari, finishing the case the same way I started it. I'm going to miss people. I think I'm... more social than I was before I started this case. It feels odd._

L's fingers were busy over the keyboard, and less than three minutes later he had printed up a small stack of documents and placed them into a manila envelope for Wedy to take away.

Wedy took the envelope and simply stood there silently a few seconds, not leaving. Then she placed a hand on L's shoulder and said, "I know you, and I know you'll think of a brilliant plan and survive this somehow. I want to tell you something. You're the bravest rape victim I've ever known. It must be very hard to visit with Misa and pretend to like her. You've saved all our lives. Hang in there, and don't give up hope."

Ryuk wasn't in the room anymore. After a quick glance around, Wedy flipped up the visor hiding her face and kissed the top of L's head in a short, sisterly peck.

Then the visor was back in place, making Wedy's face hidden in the blackness, and she was walking away. She went out the door, perhaps leaving L's life forever.

Getting permission from Interpol was surprisingly easy. They were already expecting something along those lines, since there had been so much information already broadcast about how small portions of Kira's power could be passed on to others. There were a number of good minds in Interpol who had already deduced that it would be possible for L to force the Kira in his custody to transmit some of that power. The next obvious step after that deduction was for L to keep Kira's power in reserve to act as a sniper would.

Getting Rem convinced was a more difficult issue. L visited Misa as soon as possible, arranging it so that Yumiko would not be there and all hospital workers would be sent away.

After a quick summary of the basic situation with Mikami, L said, "Rem, I know that you care about Misa, and I also know that shinigami law forbids you to purposely kill in order to protect Misa's life. You will die if you do that. Because you know I am a potential threat to Misa's life, you will die if you kill me."

Rem gasped, and at the same moment Misa's head snapped up and she stared directly at L instead of the wall that had seemed so interesting to her so far.

L continued, "Rem, I will not use this knowledge to win against you at this time. I am committed to saving lives, and it is more important to stop the Kira plan entirely than to convict one criminal. I would like your help, and Misa's help."

Rem said, "I have been thinking about what to do for a long time, ever since you confessed that you had previously sent information to other detectives, and that they had in turn certainly protected themselves the same way, so that even if I threatened you into killing all those detectives you know of, it would not save Misa but only establish her guilt. I am not willing to sacrifice myself for Misa. Because of the threats you created, there will always be other people ready to catch her at a later time, so my death would be pointless. Instead, if Misa dies, I will take a more terrible revenge than you can ever imagine. Your death will be the most painful and humiliating that has ever occurred, and I will kill all of Interpol, all of the Japanese police, and the presidents of all countries who have opposed Kira in the same terrible way."

L said, "I thought you would say that."

"What!"

L walked to Misa and took her hand. She trembled slightly but didn't resist. L said, "Misa, if you do end up dead, do you really want Rem to kill so many innocent people in revenge? Many of those people are parents. Their children will suffer, just as you suffered. Also, even if the Kira plan is perfectly right and good, governments and the police are on the same side as Kira, working against criminals. Think of how many crimes will happen if all the police in Japan are murdered."

Misa stared at Rem. Misa's face was tensed up, but ultimately unreadable.

L said, "Misa, squeeze my hand so that Rem can see, if you do not want Rem to create a revenge massacre for you."

There was the characteristic pause L had gotten used to, and then Misa gave a big squeeze.

Rem's single visible eye widened and she drifted closer, saying, "Misa, don't say that. I need a way to defend you, I need a way to protect you even if L decides he's willing to die to put you on trial."

When Rem got close enough to be within reach, Misa's good hand suddenly unclasped from L's and she slapped Rem's arm.

L said, "Rem, you should honor Misa's wishes. If you do such large-scale killings in the future, you will then have to live with the knowledge that Misa would have been completely disgusted and upset at your massacre."

Rem said, "I told you, human, that you should not betray me. You still have no reason to believe that I will necessarily be restrained by Misa's wishes if she isn't here any longer."

Misa frowned and slapped Rem again.

 _Good. Misa has some shame, and some sense of justice. If only she'd had much more of it, much earlier, it would have been a fair contest between Light and myself, without a god of death stepping in and cheating._

L said, "Rem, I am still protecting Misa at this moment. What you are thinking is not necessary, and I need your help. There are advantages for Misa as well if you follow my plan."

"What advantages?"

 _I've got Rem now._

L said, "Rem, what do you think would happen if Misa went to trial soon, and you were unable to prevent it?"

Rem turned toward Misa with an expression of pity. She said, "Misa would be convicted, and then be scheduled for execution."

"That is not necessarily true. It might be impossible to convict Misa in her current state. A suspect must be competent to stand trial. Those with extremely poor health, especially those who are unable to properly understand or answer to the charges against them, are usually judged incompetent to stand trial."

"I do not understand. Can you prove this?"

"Consider the case of Augusto Pinochet, former dictator of Chile. He is probably responsible for ordering thousands of murders and the torture of over thirty thousand people, including extensive war crimes and crimes against humanity. He was judged too old and frail to stand trial. He was popular and he inspired pity because of his failing health. Misa is also popular and inspires pity, and she has killed far fewer people. Today, I will have someone deliver to Misa's room information about Augusto Pinochet and many other criminals in similar circumstances, so you can look it over and decide for yourself. If I were going to put Misa on trial, it would not be until her recovery is more complete and her popularity as a pop idol has subsided to a greater extent. You have time before I'm a true threat."

Rem said, "You have given me hope, human, but still I do not understand how you can say that you are offering advantages to Misa. I only see that you are willing to delay your strike against her."

L said, "Rem, I need your help to catch Mikami and the unknown person he has set up with an unknown plan. Mikami will be looking for hidden cameras and humans following him. He will not expect an invisible shinigami under my direction. I can only keep you within range by having Misa's cooperation. And this-"

"This still does not-"

L said, "Misa is suicidal because she realizes the Kira plan has flaws, and because she feels guilty for orphaning children, just as she was orphaned, by killing police officers and Hideki Ryuga's servants. Now, after learning that Light would have murdered her parents if the burglar hadn't, her guilt must be much worse than before. Everything she used as justification for her actions is crumbling away from beneath her, leaving her without any foundation. Her will to live is very low, and even if she cannot kill herself, she can with enough effort eventually injure herself more severely and be in unimaginable pain. I am offering Misa a reason to live and think better of herself. If she helps stop the Kira plan forever, she will have earned some redemption. Also, if Misa does end up in a courtroom, the fact that her actions helped catch all the other Kiras and she killed far fewer people than any of them will help get leniency for her."

L turned toward Misa, trying to read the look in her eyes but failing.

With the appropriate pauses between sentences so Misa could fully understand, he said, "Misa, in the first message I ever sent to you, the one that was from the police to the second Kira, I said that all lives are valuable, even your own. I warned you not to meet Light. I tried to save you, and I spoke the truth. Your life does have value, and you can help others. You were important in the plan to stop Higuchi, and I need your help again. Mikami is no better than Higuchi, and I'm sure Mikami's accomplice will do no good and must be stopped."

L stretched out his hand in Misa's direction and said, "If you want to help me catch Mikami, take my hand."

Misa's eyes were incredibly confusing. Was that anger in them? Pain? A realization she was being manipulated? Misa did not respond, merely sitting in bed. Then she turned her head and stared at the floor. L waited, his heart thumping almost painfully in his chest, continuing to hold out his hand.

Finally, Misa looked up and stretched out her hand, taking his. The look on her face was bitter and resigned.

L said, "Thank you, Misa. You will not regret helping. I'll let Mikami loose tomorrow."

Rem said, "How will this be arranged? You will not physically strain her?"

L gladly let go of Misa's hand and retreated to a corner of the room to discuss the arrangements with Rem. A day later, he was acting out those arrangements.

An unconscious Mikami had been delivered into police custody, and they'd been told to let him go as soon as he regained consciousness. Watari was driving a van that held both L and Misa, along with a lot of surveillance equipment, TVs tuned to every news station, and radios tuned to police and emergency frequencies. Duplicate vans of varying external designs were scattered around the city and hired drivers were ready to take them to any point L ordered, so that he could switch vans and keep Mikami from noticing a certain vehicle following him at a distance for too long.

L also had three semi-trucks with helicopters stashed in the backs ready, so that if Mikami entered a subway L could have a helicopter delivered to him and fly in the air above the train along the same path, keeping Rem within range.

Misa could walk some distance without strain, so if she had to retreat outside to follow Mikami on foot it should still be possible. She was dressed in nice yet simple clothing, so as to not be eye-catching, and her wig, sunglasses, hat and gauzy scarf that came nearly up to her nose should both render her unrecognizable to the general public and keep her name from showing for Mikami if he happened to glimpse her.

Misa was indifferent, frowning. She didn't seem at all pleased; rather she seemed to be viewing it as a chore she simply had to do. All of Rem's attempts to cheer Misa up were ignored or provoked frustration, and L simply turned his back on Misa most of the time, discovering that it helped his focus immensely if she was out of his vision, if he could pretend she didn't exist.

Mikami left the police station in an unsuspicious way, heading in the direction of his home. In preparation, L had already rented a nearby house in order to keep up the Rem spying trick without forcing Misa to live in the back of a van.

Watari drove at the maximum distance slowly, making frequent stops as if it were a delivery van. At such a distance, it shouldn't look suspicious to Mikami. Watari used high-powered binoculars to keep Mikami in sight, and Rem popped in every five minutes or so to report on Mikami's actions and position.

Mikami boarded a bus that was headed for a subway stop, and L sent an order to the nearest semi-truck with a concealed helicopter. The switch from the van to the helicopter was done just barely in time to keep Mikami within range, and then Watari kept an eye on Misa in the back of the helicopter, along with all the monitors and radios, while L flew a path directly above the subway train.

The third time Rem flew up to report, she was highly agitated and said, "You did not prepare me for this situation with any instructions. I was not sure what to do, so I did nothing. Teru Mikami has committed suicide. He quickly pulled a scrap of paper out of a crack behind a light fixture and wrote down his own name, for a death twenty-three days from now."

L said, "What details did he write?"

"That he will stop breathing painlessly in his sleep to die, and that while he remains alive every time he experiences any extreme fear or any pain worse than mild pain, he will become unconscious, and that he will not betray any secrets relating to the death note or to anything new that he learns during today or on any future days."

 _This isn't about suicide; it's about making himself temporarily invulnerable. He can't be killed, controlled, or tortured into revealing anything. I could arrest him this instant, but what would that accomplish? We still need to draw his accomplice out of hiding. However, this could still be a bluff. Perhaps the paper isn't real._

L said, "You cannot take objects of the human world through other objects, correct?"

"Yes, that is so."

L said, "Watch him constantly and do not let him dispose of the paper. When he reaches the next stop, where you will have an avenue to the outside world, snatch the paper from him and bring it up to me. It does not matter if people see this."

As Rem went to perform her duty, L said, "Watari, please select one of the criminals scheduled to be executed today that I prepared for this situation. I do not have the strength to decide which one will die to test whether the paper is real."

Watari said, "I will be pleased to do so, Ryuzaki."

It was about ten minutes later that Rem flew up out of the subway entrance. Watari covered his face with a cloth and opened the door so Rem could get the paper inside.

L stared at the paper a few moments, looking at Mikami's precise handwriting, his literal suicide note, creating details of death that should make him impervious to any attempts at extracting information. L tried to think of a loophole but Mikami was good. There weren't any loopholes. He was a lawyer, after all. As long as the paper was real, there was now no choice except to leave Mikami to his own devices and try to catch him communicating orders to his accomplice.

L numbly noted that Watari had placed a criminal's photo with a name written on it in front of him. This guy, Gary Faulkner. He was certainly guilty of at least five murders, and the authorities had already given permission for L to act as his executioner, so there wasn't anything wrong or illegal about it. Yet L still felt guilty as he picked up a pen and prepared to write the name in an unused corner of Mikami's paper.

Just then, Misa's hand stopped him. She took the pen from his hand and, looking at the photo, copied down the name herself. L felt grateful, and he hated himself, utterly despised himself, for that gratitude.

L had Watari contact the authorities as he flew away toward a place where the helicopter could be landed secretly. The cover had been blown but it was still best if Mikami didn't get an idea of L's position. Moments later Watari put down his phone and announced that the criminal had died of a heart attack.

L wasted no time in calling Mikami immediately.

Mikami answered the phone with, "I see you have a shinigami on your side, L. How did you manage that? Well, it doesn't matter what tricks you have, because none of them will work on me any longer. I'm sure you've seen my paper. I'm a martyr."

"Is that your confession? I could arrest you now."

"You already know I can't confess. I can't reveal any secrets you don't already know, and to others I can reveal even less, since nobody knows as much as you do, L."

"What is your plan?"

"I am unable to tell you, isn't that a shame? I bet you've already guessed it will be extremely unpleasant. I'm sure you've also guessed that the person who said 'Kira I am ready' will do something terrible unless you let me send a message to them. It's your only chance to discover that person's identity, since I can never tell you."

L said, "Is it possible for you to give me any hints?"

"If you guess correctly, I can tell you if you're right, if I want to tell you. Otherwise I can't say anything. Isn't this delightful? By the way, don't you think the president of Brazil made a completely unjust trade deal with Japan, setting sugarcane ethanol at far too high a price?"

"If I do not let you communicate with your accomplice, the president of Brazil will die?"

Mikami said, "Oh, you are smart, aren't you, L? Correct!"

L said, "After that, if I continue to refuse, other world leaders will die. Once it starts only you can stop this, by giving your accomplice a secret password or something like that, and this password cannot be tortured or forced out of you, only given willingly."

Mikami said, "You are correct, but I'm sure you can make more guesses."

L said, "It goes further, extending not only to leaders but to entire governments, and perhaps police forces as well."

"Partly right."

"Not police forces, but entire governments?"

"Yes. Now can you guess how I'll communicate with my accomplice?"

"The same way every other Kira does, by television broadcasts so we can't tell who the intended recipient is."

Mikami said, "You're exactly right, L. Now, what do you think I want?"

 _There are only two possible things he could want. This is his rescue plan for Kira, the only reason he killed himself, because it was the only way to force me to give up Kira to him without him being susceptible to my control._

L said, "You want Kira delivered to you, in a way so that you can disappear with Kira without being tracked or trailed."

"Don't you think I'd want more than that?"

 _Mikami isn't stupid._

L said, "You also want me, so you can eliminate me as a threat and control me into betraying everything I know, so that you can have the highest chance of freeing Kira from anyone else I've put on Kira's trail, and so that you can be sure I haven't written Kira's name."

"Yes, I need Kira and L. I'll tell you an address in a moment. Go there directly. Any sign of betrayal or pursuit, and you can guess what will happen. You know Ryuk has given me a description of L, so I'm sure I'll recognize you. Ryuk has also told you that he's told me your name is rather obvious, once I see it. I think you know how those with Kira's power can identify each other. Don't send a decoy for either L or Kira."

With that, Mikami repeated an address and then hung up.

 _I should have controlled Mikami into telling the whole truth and revealing his accomplice to begin with. By refusing to murder Mikami, I've left myself vulnerable to this kind of manipulation._

As L landed the helicopter in the place he'd been heading toward before Mikami's call, he said, "If too many politicians die, there is a possibility that governments will entirely collapse. It would be worse than hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes hitting all at once in the middle of a war. Kira's accomplice will eventually run out of paper, but before that point the world could become a place of complete chaos, with unimaginable depths of human misery. The worldwide potential for suffering is enormous. Some nations might never recover, and even those that do might be ruled by warlords and despots instead of democracies."

Rem said, "You can't be thinking of giving in to Mikami's demands?"

L turned off the helicopter, squirmed around in his seat to face Rem, and said, "Yes, Rem. My life is insignificant next to so many others, and I am a murderer for killing Light, so I do deserve punishment. This is fitting. I will bring Misa with me if she is willing, and if not I will go by myself and Mikami will control me into telling him how to track down Misa, and he will get her anyway."

Rem said, "I don't want that. Misa could get hurt."

"No, Mikami worships Misa and so would never harm her. Also, even if I am wrong and he intends Kira harm, he cannot kill her because of her pregnancy, and if he tried any other kind of harm you would restrain him or threaten him."

Rem said, "I forbid you to go."

L said, "Then kill me now, Rem. It is the only way you can stop me. Do you think anyone else you could threaten is as capable of protecting Misa as I am? You would be wasting a valuable resource, as well as destroying your own life. Let me ask Misa if she will cooperate."

Without waiting for any response from Rem, L turned to Misa and said, "Misa, come with me, and help me defeat Mikami. If the two of us cooperate we can trick him into telling his accomplice to avoid this slaughter. You will be saving the world. It is your decision."

Without any hesitation Misa stretched out her arm.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, as you can see the climax is here. L has been throwing around his mental strength and manipulating Rem and Misa, but can he do the same to Mikami?

Or will Mikami just kill L and deliver Misa to an underground network of Kira supporters?


	32. Hostages

**CHAPTER 32: Hostages**

L said, "Misa, I would like to live, but if it is necessary for me to die for this, I will do so. It will be your choice whether Mikami kills me or not. Either way, the governments of the world must be saved."

Misa's eyes softened, but her mouth set in a hard line, looking frustrated.

 _I think she wants to be angry with me, but she finds it harder to be angry when I am so willing to die. When she held a gun to my head and I thanked her for giving me a clean death, is that what pushed her over the edge into attempting suicide?_

L continued, "There is a risk to this. Mikami worships the first Kira but has only a small amount of admiration for the second Kira. If Mikami controls me into telling all I know, he will realize you are the second Kira and that the first Kira is dead. If that realization disturbs his mental equilibrium enough for him to refuse to tell his accomplice to stop the plan, then everything we're hoping to accomplish will be ruined. I will tell Mikami you are the first Kira and Light was the second Kira. I will also tell him I fell in love with you and I'm on your side, and that everything I've put him through was part of a plan to fool the police."

Misa's facial expression did not change.

L had opened his mouth to continue when suddenly, on one of the radios broadcasting on police bands in the back of the helicopter, Deputy-Director Kitamura's voice rang out, saying, "L, please contact us. It is extremely important that you do so now. We have no other way of getting a message to you."

L pulled out his cellphone and called.

 _Kitamura is going to get himself killed unless he's lucky. It's only one of the police bands, so Mikami might not be listening to this one._

L said, "This is L. Make it short."

Kitamura replied, "The NPA had a bug on Mikami's cellphone. We heard everything. We can't let this happen!"

 _I should assume that talking to Kitamura, or anyone in the NPA, is the same as talking to Mikami since they might end up being controlled into confessing everything they know._

L said, "I have no way of forcing him to comply. In case it wasn't obvious from the conversation, he has used his power to schedule his own death twenty-three days in the future, and to control himself so that he cannot confess his secrets. My life is worth far less than all the governments of the world, and even Kira's unchallenged reign would cause a great deal less trouble than what Mikami has threatened. I am now preparing to give myself up to Mikami along with the other Kira I have in custody. Keep all your agents far away from the address Mikami specified, do not investigate Mikami, and if Mikami wants to broadcast anything on television, let him do so."

"If we need to rescue you, what should we do?"

L said, "Do not rescue me. I will most likely die, and any rescue attempts will only increase the chance I will die. Do not tell the world's governments or even our own government what Mikami has done, or there might be a panic and someone might try something stupid."

"I see."

"Are you recording this conversation, so that you can refer to it later?"

"Of course, of course."

L took that opportunity to say, "I have nothing else useful to add and I am running out of time. Goodbye," and hung up.

L squirmed around in his seat and said, "Watari, hand me a laptop."

As L flipped it open, hacked into what he knew was Matt's favorite gaming website and uploaded an encoded message disguised as a vandalization image for the main page, Rem leaned over his shoulder to watch.

 _I already told Matt to be cautious about destroying either of the notebooks too early, so there is not much danger of Mikami losing his memories before he can order his accomplice to stop. However, Matt will probably hack into NPA records and if there is anything in their computers about Mikami killing himself and the current hostage situation, Matt will know not to destroy Mikami's notebook until the 23 days are up. Just in case that doesn't happen, Matt should see this message and understand. Anyone else who decodes it should make no sense of "Mikami, 23 days suicide, world hostage" anyway._

When he had turned it off and closed it, Rem said, "What did you do?"

"I did the only thing I can do to prevent Mikami's memories from possibly being destroyed too soon."

L handed the laptop back to Watari and said, "Destroy this laptop. You should run now. Everything had been prepared for your departure."

 _Watari has none of the evidence, so even if Mikami forces me to divulge everything I know, it would be pointless for Mikami to kill Watari once he knows Watari's name and can easily discover his face. Discovering Matt's face or anyone else I know should be impossible, since they don't have Quillsh Wammy's fame and there are no photos of them. Destroying everything at headquarters would be all Mikami could do._

Suddenly Watari was clasping L's hand in a tight grip, a goodbye handshake. Watari said nothing, but his face was full of concern and admiration. L met his gaze and gave a determined nod.

As Watari climbed out of the helicopter and disappeared through a door on the roof, L tried not to think that this might be the last time seeing him. Watari would get away even if things went very wrong, he had to. Watari had his own skills, and he'd been told to prepare well for his own escape. It would take twenty minutes to drive to the address Mikami had indicated, and that would give Watari plenty of time to hide himself.

 _I must have the dreaded discussion with Misa._

L swung open the helicopter door on his side and got out onto the roof of the building with a little jump, turning around to watch Rem steady Misa as she awkwardly climbed down. Misa still looked unhappy and frustrated, though with her face it was hard to be sure.

Then L stepped back a few steps, enough to make his thoughts clearer.

 _Here it goes._

L said, "Misa, you are a genius actress, so I have no doubt you can fool Mikami. My acting skills are not as good. Even your sister was able to see through them eventually. We must avoid anything that seems as if we are tricking Mikami, and you must make it easy for me to play my role."

 _Most rapists do not believe what they did counts as rape._

As a tight knot formed in L's stomach and he had an urge to take a few more steps backward, he continued, "I have unpleasant physical reactions when you try to be affectionate toward me, including that panic attack. We cannot risk triggering another panic attack in front of Mikami. I have these reactions because you raped me. I know I never said 'no' but I would not have felt safe in doing so, and that made it impossible for me to give consent. When you threatened to rape me, I decided to go along with your sexual desires to lessen the trauma a violent rape would cause."

Misa's eyes were wet, shiny, and she had lowered her gaze, staring down at the roof below her feet. Rem looked surprised.

L could feel his limbs trying to start up a light trembling.

 _It is good I'll have a twenty-minute drive to settle down after this._

L said, "If you decide to indicate to Mikami that I am lying, please prevent him from controlling me into saying everything I know. You are still capable of giving me a simple heart attack. Mikami does not approve of public displays of affection, so you can be subdued and still put on a believable act. Do not touch me suddenly without warning. If you attempt to have sex with me before Mikami has called off his plan and I think he might be listening or watching, I will not resist because the entire world is at stake, but it will be rape and you risk triggering another panic attack. If you think you want to rape me again, please just kill me instead. Raise your hand if you've understood everything I've said."

Misa raised her hand, but her eyes were still downcast, refusing to meet L's gaze.

L said, "The drive should take twenty minutes. Please get into character by the time we arrive."

He turned, not bothering to look at Misa, desperately wishing not to look at her ever again. He walked toward the door in the roof. It was one of the buildings that had been rented for emergencies, as a safe house or a place to restock while fleeing, and in the garage at the lowest level there was a car and some equipment. More importantly, there was candy. L had a desperate urge to stuff himself with as much sugar as possible.

Rem swooped down to drift beside him silently on stretched-taut wings of leather and exposed bone, and somewhere behind L could hear Misa's quick, light steps crunching on the gravel of the roof.

 _Mikami will not approve of my posture, appearance or habits. However, if I try to become a different person just for him, it'll make the deception much easier to detect. I should be myself as much as possible, so that most of the time I am not actually acting._

Just as he opened the door to go inside, Rem said, incredulously, "Misa raped you?"

"Yes. Ask her if you don't believe me."

L started down the narrow, dark stairwell and Rem kept pace, half in and half out of a wall.

After an awkward pause, Rem said, "You looked as if you enjoyed it."

"Physical pleasure and consent are two different things. Physical pleasure can be produced in anyone against their will, but it is especially easy to produce it in males. Read books about the psychology of rape. They'll tell you the same thing. Also, in my particular situation, I had to appear to be falling for Misa in order to save my life."

Rem said, "I... I did not know this."

 _She sounds sad. Is Rem starting to sympathize with my side too? I must stay on guard, though. Neither of them are my true allies. Our goals might only align for a short time, just as Light was a temporary ally against Higuchi._

When L reached the garage, the first thing he did was to put on some quick-brewing coffee, and then he made sure the car was stocked with plenty of candy. As soon as the coffee finished he poured himself a cup and settled into the driver's seat, bringing along two motorcycle helmets with darkened visors. Misa was already in the back.

At Misa's wordless noise with a questioning tone to it, L answered, "Mikami might look through a peep hole and write my name as I approach unless we wear these as we exit the car. This way he'll need to allow us to get close enough to explain. Also, before we remove the helmets he won't be able to tell which is L and which is Kira, so if he were planning to shoot me instead of writing my name, he won't be able to do it."

L started the car, took a few sips of coffee to steady his nerves, and then began gnawing on a stick of licorice.

He sighed, breathing slowly, calming himself with mental exercises, then opened the garage door and pulled into the street. He tried to think of all the things that could go wrong, of every possible loophole that Mikami might exploit. This was the last stretch of the journey, the last thing to actually do on the case. After this part finished, there were only three possibilities: being dead, putting Misa on trial, or accepting a permanent stalemate where Misa would never be put on trial.

Five minutes into the drive, L had finished his coffee and eaten through a bag of licorice, half a bag of chocolates and nearly an entire box of doughnuts. That's when he thought of the first serious hole in his plan and was horrified that he hadn't thought of it immediately.

L said, "Rem, no matter what Mikami says, do not make yourself visible to him as long as Misa is following my plan. You are a terrible actress and you might ruin things. We will say you are a shy shinigami."

Rem said, "As long as Misa wants this, I will do so."

L went over and over his plan for the rest of the drive, mentally testing it, trying to see any other unnoticed problems. There were a few issues, but nothing as serious as Rem possibly ruining everything.

At last they were there. It was an ordinary-looking house, a little larger and nicer than average. Nobody was in sight.

L took his time rummaging through the candy and selecting some to thrust into his pocket, then put on the helmet that would hide his face as he exited the protected, dark-windowed interior of the car. Misa was doing likewise, Rem helping her since it was a little difficult to do with only one working arm. L picked up a satchel full of things he'd need to show Mikami.

And then they were exiting, L coming around to Misa's door to help her out. Mikami was probably watching, and it would be the first impression he'd ever have of L and Kira. L made his body language friendly. It was feeling almost easy after the twenty-minute ride to prepare. It felt like getting into investigation mode, a work-like atmosphere, the kind of thing L was used to. He felt almost capable of doing it without any issues.

 _This is it. If my name is written, it will probably be within the next few hours. Otherwise, I have a fair chance of surviving. I must trust that Misa does not wish to destroy the world, even if she has perhaps not entirely given up on the Kira plan. We are on the same side for now._

He took his place beside Misa and together they walked to the door, faces comfortably obscured.

 _I hope Mikami rented this house legitimately, and did not kill people to obtain it._

L knocked and the door opened.

Mikami was there in a nice suit, with not a hair out of place. He looked from one to the other of them, a little shocked. Misa was nearly four months pregnant, and it was rather obvious on her tiny frame, a small rounded swelling that pulled her forward and made her slightly off-balance. She looked much further along than she actually was. Did Mikami think it was a disguise? Most people expected both L and Kira to be male. Perhaps Mikami thought Misa was a slender male in a pregnancy suit. If so, he'd soon realize his mistake.

Mikami motioned for them to come inside and turned, going through a small entryway and into a living room. L followed, keeping pace with Misa, trying to walk near to her in the same style that couples did. Studying people, trying to learn to read them very well, did have many payoffs in detective work. Acting was simply using that knowledge in reverse, creating a situation instead of examining it.

L sat down on the offered couch next to Misa, seeing further puzzlement on Mikami's face at how close they were sitting, not quite touching but closer than any casual acquaintances would sit. Ryuk drifted through a wall into the room, watching the scene with a big grin showing all his shark-like teeth.

Mikami sat in a chair opposite the couch and crossed his legs, looking prim and proper, his back ramrod-straight, his face with a serene yet severe expression of studying and judging. Any normal person would find it hard to think of Mikami as a serial killer, but L knew the signs. There was a certain type of criminal with very rigid ideas about what was right and wrong, with those ideas twisted to put themselves in the right and the world in the wrong. Mikami was that type in a fairly extreme degree, and Light had been that type in a more minor way.

It was a kind of obsessive-compulsive nature, an obsession with perfection. Most people like that merely became very boring citizens with many annoying nitpicking habits, but if they did end up going into crime they could become some of the most prolific and devious criminals. They used their attention to detail and the sheer power of their devotion to make moves an ordinary criminal wouldn't.

 _There is no use delaying it any longer._

L helped Misa remove her helmet, and then started on his own.

Mikami's entire face changed the moment he got a glimpse of Misa's face. It seemed as if confusion, reverence, shock and a giddy kind of happiness were all battling for control of his expression. He didn't even turn to look at L's exposed face for a few moments.

L said, "As you can see, this is Kira, and I am L. Kira is my wife. She was injured by someone who was not adequately controlled, and that is why her right arm and the right side of her face are paralyzed. Misa, please show him your scar."

Without hesitation, Misa removed the wig she was wearing, showing the scar along the side of her head where hair would never grow again.

L said, "We can supply doctors' reports and medical records to prove this, and we will allow you to bring in any doctors you wish to examine Misa. Misa can understand most of what is said to her. Pause between sentences to be sure. However, her ability to talk is limited, and she is in the process of re-learning how to write, starting at below a grade-school level."

Mikami said, "L, you are claiming that you have switched sides to join with Kira?"

"Everything you've been though has been part of a plot to fool the police. I had hoped to divert them from you, but once they came close to finding you I had no choice but to help them, or it would have been too suspicious. It was a race between myself and the police, and I did not manage to be far enough ahead of them to save you."

Mikami said, "Ryuk, is this true?"

Ryuk did a kind of hop-twirl floating in the air and said, "Decide for yourself. I told you before, I'm not on your side."

In a tone as if it were an argument he'd already grown tired of, Mikami said, "I still don't understand how Kira's angel could not be on Kira's side."

"I keep telling you I'm a shinigami. If you think that makes me an angel, go ahead and think that way."

Mikami said, "L, how do I know you didn't force the real Kira to give up ownership? Then you could have given ownership to any person, to pass that person off as Kira."

L patted his satchel and said, "I've brought extensive documentation of my claims, and I expect you to do further research before deciding. Also, if I could have chosen anyone, don't you think I'd choose someone who would seem more like what you were expecting?"

Mikami stared at the spaces over their heads, each in turn. Then he said, "Misa Amane? That name seems familiar."

L replied, "I'm sure you've heard the ladies in your office discussing her. Misa is a pop idol."

Mikami looked distinctly conflicted and worried.

 _Mikami does not watch movies, follow celebrity gossip or approve of most things in popular culture. This must be difficult for him to accept._

L said, "Misa's status as a pop idol is merely a role she plays, a job, and it is useful because it is justification for surrounding her with high security. The personality she uses in front of her fans is an act. She was beginning to become a little famous before she became Kira, and there was no reason to stop her career at that time. If she had, that circumstance would have looked suspicious to the police if she were later suspected of being Kira."

Mikami turned his head and stared at the space above L's face. L had a brief flash of paranoia at the thought of Mikami studying his name, even though he knew Mikami had seen it and probably memorized it the moment the helmet had been removed.

Mikami said, "L Lawliet, how clever. You hide your real name by not concealing it. Did you change your name to fit your alias, or was it the other way around?"

 _I may as well tell the truth, since a lie might harm me._

L said, "My parents could not decide between 'Lawrence' and 'Liam' when the doctor was filling out my birth certificate. The doctor knew it was an 'L' name so he just put the first letter and intended to add the rest later. The argument lasted so long that the original doctor left and a different doctor arrived, who refused to complete the birth certificate. My parents then learned that my real name was 'L' and they would have to pay a fee to have my name legally changed. They were very poor, so they decided not to do it."

 _This is not what I want to talk about. Mikami is invasive enough already._

L placed the satchel on the coffee table between them and began taking out documents, Misa's medical records, police reports, and other pieces of evidence.

L said, "I've included everything obtainable that supports the idea Misa is Kira rather than someone given ownership of a shinigami's notebook in order to fool you. The medical records could be faked, but the articles and news reports are items you can easily verify as real by obtaining additional copies yourself. If I were trying to set up Misa as a false Kira to fool you, I would have needed to anticipate this possibility months ago and I would have needed to take risks then in order to do it."

Mikami sorted through all the items, quickly putting them into piles by category and then putting the news articles in chronological order, setting the videos aside for later. He picked up the earliest article and began reading it.

 _Mikami does not wish for the world to be destroyed, he simply wants to save Kira by using the only threat that could force me to comply. Dying and leaving the world in chaos should be entirely abhorrent to his desire for perfection. He's skeptical now, but he should want to believe me, and if he wishes to confirm my story by controlling me into telling the truth, he should be extremely reluctant to kill Kira's husband and risk Kira's extreme displeasure._

Mikami's eyes became wider as he read, and his hands gripped the various papers tightly, his mouth set in a severe line. When he'd worked his way through the pile of articles and then halfway through the medical records, he suddenly placed what he was reading down, looking puzzled.

Mikami crossed his legs and said, "L, I do not understand. Why did Kira need me, if Kira was never your prisoner and Kira was fine all this time except for when she became injured? Why all the subterfuge? Why not take over the judgments yourself, using Kira's principles and teachings as guidance?"

Mikami took a deep breath and then said, "If you were truly in league with Kira, you would have contacted me directly with orders, any orders at all."

L said, "What we are fighting is a war, a war against the criminals of the world. Do you agree?"

"Yes, of course I do."

"Then you have perhaps studied what happens with wars. The human mind is not built to withstand killing other humans, especially many other humans. There is degeneration. It is the fastest with those who kill face-to-face, those who see others die directly. Foot soldiers suffer the most. The degeneration is slower with those who have distance from their victims, such as pilots of fighter planes dropping bombs on cities, even if each pilot kills far more than any soldier, but the mental deterioration still occurs. Kira realized this early in the process and to preserve her own mind began delegating all the judging duties to people who function as Kira's soldiers. We retire each of the soldiers before they become damaged too much, so that they will not become prone to making mistakes in the judgments. You are one of the few who have been trusted with an entire notebook instead of only pages. Those are the ones we allow to live at the end, because their memories are wiped and then they are not dangerous to us."

 _This flattery will warm him to us. Mikami will feel he is special._

Mikami said, "You are saying Kira is a general, and I am one of Kira's soldiers?"

"Yes. Kira and myself are now committed to never killing personally unless it is absolutely necessary and we cannot get one of Kira's soldiers to do it for us. This preserves our minds for the many battles to come."

 _And it will also give us the perfect excuse to not kill for Mikami if he still has scraps of notebook paper around, which I'm almost certain he does._

Mikami said, "Tell me what happened. I do not understand why such things are in the news, or why Kira would need such scandals, or why L would switch sides to join with Kira and marry her."

L told the story he'd carefully composed in his head. In it, L had always been a Kira supporter, since L wanted to eliminate criminals and Kira had a marvelously efficient way of doing it. L had only looked for Kira in order to join forces and to protect Kira from the police.

Then, L told about finding Misa approximately a year ago, and various strategies he'd supposedly used to protect her from the police and to organize the system of Kira's soldiers better. He claimed to have helped her search for the second Kira, who turned out to be Light Yagami and a significant danger to the Kira plan because of his recklessness.

In the story, Light was deprived of his memories by a merciful Kira, but had unfortunately already attracted police attention which caused some danger of throwing suspicion on Misa. Furthermore, Light had conspired to keep some pages and to write a letter to himself describing everything he knew he'd forget, so he continued to be a danger but it would have been too suspicious to kill him with the police so close.

Then Light had shown signs of wavering loyalty, and L had advised Kira to kill him despite the risks, but Kira had refused and when L tried to do it himself without permission Kira stopped him, put him in the restraints to punish him, and then ending up taking Light prisoner too when Light tried to go to the police. Kira punished L for his disobedience and punished Light, trying to turn Light back to Kira's side, but Light only became more rebellious so Kira killed him.

Because L was still being punished at the time, Kira did not tell L about Mikami becoming the newest of Kira's soldiers. A long-term plan of framing Hideki Ryuga for being Kira was beginning to come to fruition at that point. However, one of Hideki Ryuga's servants was inadequately controlled and shot Misa. Since this linked Misa to the scene, the plan of framing Hideki Ryuga as Kira was scrapped, as it might backfire and cast suspicion on Misa.

L conspired to present Misa's injury as a suicide attempt, and after Misa woke up she cooperated by staging more fake suicide attempts. While Misa had been unconscious, L had been left by himself to solve the riddle of whom Misa had sent the other notebook to, and by using the police to help search L ended up with the problem of the police drawing close to Mikami, so that Mikami's capture had to be allowed to divert suspicion.

L claimed that Mikami's imprisonment in his own custody was to keep the police from learning Kira's secrets and because L was spending time judging Mikami's loyalty and trying to decide what to do with him now that he'd been caught, while also trying to track down the missing notebook.

The plan now was to lie low for a while with no judgments and then to leave a completely unsolvable mess for the police after faking Misa's suicide and L's assassination by Kira, with the two events spaced far enough apart that they should seem to have no relation to each other.

L then injected a bit of truth into his story by describing how he'd actually found Mikami's notebook, and by saying that both notebooks were now stashed in a secret place, awaiting the completion of L's current plans.

During the entire story, Mikami became fidgety in minor ways, mostly with fingers twitching and the tiniest movements of the corners of his mouth. L could practically read the stress in Mikami. Mikami must have expected a relatively simple job of killing L and rescuing Kira, but was being confronted with a complex story instead. Mikami needed to make a decision about whether he was being tricked or not, and Kira's entire future rested on Mikami evaluating the situation correctly.

Mikami habitually spent all his energy trying to do everything correctly, right down to the tiniest minutiae of life, and now he was faced with a decision that had to be made correctly, with no chance to redo it. If Mikami called off his unknown, hidden accomplice from destroying hostage governments, then he could be arrested immediately after, probably with no consequences. In any case, he'd be dead in less than a month.

 _Even if Mikami broadcasts a password, I need to keep up the illusion that I am on his side. It is possible that he will try to broadcast a false password first, simply to see if I will betray him as soon as the danger has supposedly passed, and then he will save the real password for if I do not betray him._

Mikami said nothing in response to L's story but picked up the documents and began reading through them again, this time going through every one of the news articles, even the ones from the least respected tabloids. L could almost see the calculations in Mikami's eyes, could imagine him checking the timeline of events for consistency with L's claims in exactly the same way any lawyer would. No, Mikami would not be easy to fool. He'd been trained to spot these kinds of things.

 _Misa is clearly disenchanted with the Kira plan since her sister's revelation, but she may not have been fully converted to the opposite viewpoint. She invested a lot of her worldview into her obsession, as any cult member does. Just because Misa does not want all the governments of the world to collapse and is cooperating with me for now, that does not mean she will not turn against me as soon as Mikami makes his broadcast and the danger for the world has passed. Even if I live to that point, there is still a possibility I will die. However, the Kira plan is over. Matt will never allow the notebooks to reach anyone who might take over Kira's role._

Finally, Mikami began carefully packing the items back into the satchel they'd been brought in.

Mikami got a look as if he were about to let out a big sigh of frustration, but instead of the expected sigh he said in a terse and controlled voice, "This will need further evaluation. L, if you are lying to me, I will find out and you will die a very painful death along with the false Kira. If you are lying and you confess the full truth soon, I promise you a painless, gentle death, and I will merely deprive Misa of her memories, allowing her to live."

L said, "I respect your decision. Misa chose well. I wish you could have been Kira's soldier for a longer time."

Mikami said, "I will need to check every one of these facts and evaluate your behavior. I will live with you for at least a week. You must find a way to smuggle us away from here and hide us in a secret place. I am sure every police officer in Japan will be looking for me."

 _Why do I always end up living with these serial killers?_

L said, "I have already planned for this. I told the NPA part of the truth, namely I told them about your threat, your unknown helper, and the fact that you cannot betray secrets even if tortured. I also told them I intended to sacrifice myself and give you Kira, and I told them to stay away from you to save the world. Otherwise, they would have arrested you again."

"That is good. However, we cannot rely on the police. They are arrogant and have poor judgment. They might take suicidal risks."

L said, "I have a number of places prepared as safe houses, both in Tokyo and outside it. I believe it would be easier to remain undetected if we do not leave the city, but if you wish to flee far I have three safe houses in remote locations. We should leave immediately to avoid any possibility of being trailed."

With that, L brought a cloth out of his satchel and began carefully wiping every surface that might have his own fingerprints or Misa's fingerprints. Thankfully, there were few of them.

Five minutes later, they were all in L's car, headed for the carefully hidden safe house that would be their home for possibly up to 23 days.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I believe, if I've got my fic's timeline figured correctly, this chapter began around the beginning of March (March 2004 for the manga version, March 2007 for the anime version). Misa is due around mid-August.

L has finally told his rapist to never rape him again and has given Misa some manipulative reasons why she should not. L probably did this because he knows rape could happen again and for his own peace of mind he needs to try to prevent it, even if by doing so he gives up all pretense of being on Misa's side for any reason other than Rem's threats.

And I find it kind of silly that L has essentially created his own Death Note AU fan fiction in this chapter, by telling a long story about how L was secretly a Kira supporter from the very beginning, Misa was the first Kira and Light the second, and L and Misa fell in love and got married. Now I kind of want to read that AU story (although I usually don't like evil!L, sometimes he is interesting). So, L's a fan fiction writer (or actually, an oral performer since it never gets written down) in this chapter.


	33. Living

**CHAPTER 33: Living**

Out of the safe houses L suggested, Mikami chose a safe house near the edge of Tokyo, perhaps to facilitate an easier time of fleeing the city if it later turned out that they needed to run in a hurry. On the outside, it seemed to be a fairly ordinary four-story house in a nice neighborhood. It had a small yard and garden enclosed completely by a high stone wall, so that outsiders would have a very difficult time seeing in. All the windows appeared to have ordinary curtains or shades, but there was a second, hidden inner window for each one with a completely reflective mirror-like surface, allowing nobody to see in no matter the circumstances.

The first floor was separate from the rest of the house, with security doors hemming it off. The first floor also had its own entrance, a garage door opening directly onto the street. A grocery service regularly delivered food items through that entrance, placing them in the first-floor kitchen and pantry. Grocery services were common in this neighborhood, so nothing should seem out of place.

L had also been having an employee arrive once a week to remove food items, especially perishables, but with a quick explanation to Mikami and one phone call, he fired that employee. The guy had no idea he'd been working for L or that his work had anything to do with law enforcement. He'd just thought he was working for a family on vacation that was unsure of when they'd return, so that they couldn't be bothered with temporarily canceling and then re-starting their grocery service.

For additional security, as soon as they arrived at the place L changed the passcode on the first floor's lock in order to prevent any possibility of that employee being able to get back in. Mikami stood behind L as he entered the new code. L could almost feel the weight of Mikami's stare, like having someone breathing down your neck, monitoring your every move. L carefully tried to control his reactions, to not appear concerned.

 _I wonder if Light felt like this? If he did, he never showed much discomfort. He almost seemed to take a twisted kind of glee in it, as if it were a game. Perhaps he was more interested in sparring with me than in controlling the world. Certainly he would have been a terrible dictator if he'd ever proceeded to the point of manipulating governments and completely replacing justice systems with himself._

Just as L finished and straightened up, Mikami said, "Are you sure we weren't followed?"

L said, "Our swift departure and the measures I took on the way here should preclude that possibility. They will never find us unless you are spotted or unless they conduct a massive search for every car of this make and model in the city. We will avert that by concealing this car inside and only using the other two cars that are here."

 _In a moment, Mikami will wonder how he is supposed to investigate all the news reports and other items independently, without relying on myself to supply him. When he does, I can save Deputy-Director Kitamura's life and also prevent some troublesome possibilities._

As soon as all three of them were inside the first floor entrance with a door securely closing them off from the outside world, L gave a brief description of the house's security features and the equipment that was available.

L didn't try to lie at all. Any dishonestly that wasn't vitally important had to be avoided. To create the best chance of convincing Mikami, it was best to present as much of the truth as possible even if it caused some vulnerabilities. Ryuk drifted through a wall while L was finishing up the explanation.

Sure enough, Mikami went to the equipment lockers immediately, arming himself with a small gun that had an easily-disguised thigh-holster and placing the rest of the weapons in a safe which he reprogrammed with a new code, forcing L and Misa to leave the room while he did so. Rem leaned over Mikami and called out the new code as he was entering it, though he was so quick she wasn't quite sure of the last few numbers.

The next thing Mikami did was to destroy all the detectors for cameras and bugs, going into the basement and placing them in the on site crematorium-quality high-temperature furnace, handy for destroying anything you really didn't want to ever be found.

 _Will Mikami place hidden cameras to see if Misa or I act out of character when he isn't directly watching us? I must assume so, but if I actively search for them I will only make myself look suspicious._

As L watched them melt and burn, he couldn't help but have a morbid little fantasy pop into his mind of his own body burning there after his death, after Mikami had killed him.

L turned to Mikami and said, "You do not have much time. We should start making plans immediately. You've chosen a very bold path so far, but it has risks."

Mikami looked at Misa, a long, searching look tinged with reverence and awe, and replied, "The worst will not happen. Either Misa Amane is the true Kira, or you will deliver the true Kira to me once world leaders start dying. There are no other options."

L looked to Misa as if checking her reaction, trying to convey that he took orders from her rather than the other way around.

L said, "I was not thinking of the obvious trouble from governments collapsing, so much as I was thinking of the other things that could go wrong."

"Other things?"

Mikami could not keep his hands still. They were twitching, even though he had clasped them together.

 _After this, he will have no choice but to spare Kitamura and to help to avert any of the idiotic problems that could occur in a worst-case scenario._

L said, "Specifically, there are three issues. The simplest one is the issue of Kira's public reputation. Doing anything that would turn most of the world firmly against Kira would at least halfway ruin Kira's mission. The second issue is making sure you are completely hidden when you go out of here on your own, as you must do to confirm that I have not fabricated the news stories, since I could easily be presenting false Internet and television feeds to you in this place. If the police spot you, they might not follow the wisest course of action."

In a voice with a surprising amount of passion, Mikami said, "They can't be trusted!"

"The third issue is the most serious. Even if Deputy-Director Kitamura and the other NPA officers who know about the hostage situation never leak that information, if governments start being decimated there will be panic and there will be plenty of people who will guess Kira is behind the scheme. The only fact most of the world knows about Kira is that Kira is in Japan. Out of sheer panic and a sense of self-preservation, it would not be unreasonable to expect that someone would think of nuking the entire surface of Japan into complete oblivion. They might even nuke places other than Japan, if they suspect Kira could be hiding there."

Mikami's lips pressed together in a grim, straight line, and at the same time L heard Misa gasp behind him.

Mikami said, "Then this safe house is not a good place. We should flee the country and hide in the last place anyone would expect Kira to be."

 _He would not say this so readily unless he thinks there is a significant chance I am lying._

L said, "I am sure it will not get to that point. Also, there would be difficulties in sneaking out of the country if the NPA is on full alert and all the police in Japan are watching for you. We do not want to endanger Kira's safety and anonymity by allowing the police a chance to recapture you and connect her to you."

Mikami turned and gazed through the tiny furnace-window at the flames. He said, "Then we will not do so now, but you must make a plan for that possibility. Your plan will include a way to do this very quickly, before any panic starts. Borders could close."

L said, "The sea is only a short drive from here. I will rent the nearest dock I can, and commission a submarine to be waiting there for us. You are the one who knows when these deaths might start. If you have not called off your accomplice by the point the first assassination will occur, get us to flee in the submarine immediately before that event. We can stay far away from any land surface that might get nuked."

 _This plan will give me some warning before politicians start dying. Also, it will motivate Mikami to make his broadcast before any assassinations start, so that we don't get trapped out at sea during a nuclear conflict, with possibly no way to make that broadcast if the chaos is too extreme._

After a pause, Mikami said, "I will consider that plan and possibly ask for modifications. We still have time."

Mikami started pacing while making dramatic hand gestures and said, "We should control the head of the NPA to call off any alerts or searches. Then I will be able to move freely through the city to collect information and conduct my investigations. There are many parts of your story that need further verification. I can also control him to create a report about everything secretive he's done in recent years and put it where I can access it, to see if his dealings with you contradict the story you've told me."

 _Though he is intelligent, Mikami's reasoning is too simplistic. He thinks, but he does not follow through all the way to the logical end-conclusion._

L said, "Kitamura is the one presently keeping things under control at the NPA. If he dies or is obviously being controlled, it could incite panic in the NPA, and someone might do something stupid. If they do not panic, we can count on them to be predictable and to obey Deputy-Director Kitamura, who is presently following the orders I gave him before going to meet you. If Kitamura is at all intelligent, he has people observing him and trying to gauge whether he is being controlled."

Mikami turned, and the furnace flames reflected onto his facial features in an eerie way, making everything under-lit and orange-red.

Mikami waved his hands in a dramatic flourish and said, "Then we can control and kill the entire NPA. They will not panic if I force them not to. I will get even more information about your dealings with them, and they will stay alive until shortly after my own death, so that they will not die before the situation with my accomplice is resolved. There will be no problems."

L replied, "I would agree with that except for one issue. No matter how much we terrorize the world, we will never be able to control everything or know everything. If people hate Kira, they will organize more hidden disobedience that will be impossible to ever fully uncover and destroy. Kira's power can be thwarted by things such as falsified records and secret trials."

Ryuk laughed and said, "You can't force people to be good. They just don't have it in them. They're a bunch of bastards."

L gave Ryuk an annoyed glance and then said, "If society comes to rely on underground organizations, it will become more lawless. Everything will be little more than a display for Kira, to show Kira what she wants to hear and to attempt to please her, while people continue doing what they want behind the scenes. This process can never be stopped, but it can be minimized by winning the hearts and minds of the world, by keeping Kira's reputation as clean as possible and showing people that Kira is a force for good. It is important to avoid methods that seem like terrorism. Kira can accomplish far more through a combination of fear and love than through fear alone. We should not do anything to seriously harm Kira's reputation unless it is unavoidable."

Mikami looked stubborn and defiant for a moment, but then he gazed at Misa almost wistfully and said, "You are right. We cannot risk Kira's reputation. This future, this utopia, it is too important. We cannot allow people any excuse for hating Kira. Still, I do not understand how I will safely leave this place for necessary research and then return to observe both of you, if I cannot guarantee that I will not lead NPA officers straight to Misa Amane."

 _He wants to be given orders. He wants to believe us, to obey Misa. He has built his life around rules, schedules, and what he's supposed to be doing. If I balance this just right, it won't be too difficult to fool him._

L said, "It is simple. There is a room upstairs with professional-quality disguises. We will render you unrecognizable to any police officer who might be looking for you, and if we change certain features such as the shape of your nose and the placement of your eyebrows, we can also fool facial recognition software, or at least force it to spend a much longer time processing before it realizes your identity. Even if the NPA has already tapped into every security video feed in the city, they shouldn't find you, at least not quickly enough to follow you here. We can start immediately and run tests with the software we have here."

Gesturing even more forcefully with his hands, Mikami said, "I know some things about facial recognition software. I would need to look very different. Also, there is no sure way to fool it without plastic surgery, which we don't have time for. I should never appear in public places or in stores with either of you."

 _This is good. If I am left here without Mikami some of the time, I can put finishing touches on my plans and make any adjustments. Plus, I'll have chances to calm down and prepare myself for the next onslaught of dealing with him._

Without any warning, Mikami said, "Empty your pockets!"

L turned his pockets inside out, revealing his cellphone and a number of pieces of candy. Misa stepped forward and went through her pockets as well, mostly bringing out items of make-up. Mikami took the items as they were produced. He slipped L's cellphone into his own pocket, gave back most of Misa's things, and then examined the pieces of candy with an expression of intense puzzlement.

L said, "You can keep those if you wish. I can always get more candy."

Mikami poked them around on his outstretched palm and said, "What are they for? Are there secret spy devices within them? Are they poison in case you need to kill?"

"No, it's just candy."

Mikami glanced up into L's face, then back at his palm. He made a sudden decision and opened the furnace door, immediately half-stepping back, choking and with eyes watering from the wave of intense heat, and then he threw the candy in there, shutting the door hard after it.

L said, "Nobody ever calls my cellphone. I only use it for outgoing calls, and it is one of the most secure in the world. I've built small booster towers all over Tokyo. Each time I call, it goes through one of those towers before merging secretly into the regular cellphone networks. Even if it were traced by an expert it would only lead as far as that one booster tower, and I never use the same booster tower twice, so it is impossible to find me that way. The only downside is that there are a limited number of calls before I must have new towers built. You could impersonate L by calling the NPA with that phone. However, they now believe I'm controlled, so it would be the same as Kira giving them orders."

Mikami said, "How many calls are left?"

"Thirty-eight."

 _He may hope to catch me in a lie by using up the calls and counting them, but he won't figure out about the few spare towers I can switch to by entering an emergency code._

Mikami said, "I will conduct this as if it were a trial. I will gather evidence and interview witnesses. I must start quickly. Bring me to that room. How long will it take to disguise me?"

L replied, "I would estimate at least four hours to deal effectively with facial appliances such as false noses. Even if you control an expert to help you, it will take considerable time to prepare you for each trip you make, unless we try a shortcut."

 _This is not good. No, this is not good. All I can do is try to minimize the number of witnesses who will be killed and get Mikami out of here as fast as I can, so I can attempt to gain more control over the process._

Mikami said, "What kind of shortcut?"

"If we do not try to make you look like a normal person, if we instead dress you up in an outlandish style that would allow us to draw shapes on your face that would confuse most facial recognition software. For example, if we used a visual kei style we could use a wig that covers half your face and use dark makeup around your eyes that would make them seem larger, and we could use a combination of heavy foundation and lipstick to re-draw your lips as smaller or placed differently. Misa is very good at this. Her undamaged hand is still steady for applying make-up and she has an excellent eye for style."

L turned and headed out of the furnace room, letting Mikami and Misa follow him up stairs and through heavy security doors that required a code, then on to the upper floors. The room with disguises was on the third floor, and included an entire walk-in closet of both male and female clothing in all styles, sized for L, Matt, Wedy and Watari. L and Misa worked together to pick out and lay aside several possible outfits for Mikami, all in Wedy's size as that was the closest. Mikami picked one and disappeared into another room to dress in it, returning looking embarrassed.

There was a hairdresser's chair that Misa motioned Mikami into for the make-up and hair session. Mikami got a strange look in his eyes and shivered at Misa's first touch to his face, as she removed his glasses so she could start applying a pale foundation. L worked on Mikami's hair, a simple task of pinning it down so that a wig could be put over it. Mikami shuffled and bunched up his hands in his lap, awkwardly re-arranging the big plastic hairdressing bib that had been placed around him. L was sure after watching a few of the nervous squirms that Mikami was trying to hide an erection.

 _Is this a religious experience for him? He thinks of Kira as a god, yet he also recognizes that Kira is human. Kira is touchable, and he suspects Misa is Kira. It is only natural that he should have a strong reaction to her._

Mikami said, "What is your plan, L? What will you do with me?"

"Once you make your broadcast, I will let the police arrest you. It would be extremely difficult to rescue you at that point, and would only create risks for exposing my identity or Kira's identity. After they arrest you again, the police may try to torture you to get answers, but I know it will not work. You will become unconscious if they do."

 _By showing that I would do exactly the same thing after Mikami's broadcast regardless of whether I am on his side or not, I eliminate the possibility of him using a fake broadcast to test my loyalty, and I eliminate the possibility of the police reacting with stupid actions after a fake broadcast. It is all the same either way._

Mikami said, "You will show me the other shinigami."

Without turning around, L said, "Rem, make yourself visible to Mikami."

Rem said, "I thought you said not to. Has that changed?"

 _Really Rem? You can't remember what I just told you about this a little while ago?_

Quickly, before Rem could do anything, L sighed and said, "She is leaving through a wall instead. Rem is being disobedient. She is shy and her behavior is difficult to control. I'm sorry."

To L's relief, Mikami said, "Ryuk is disobedient as well. I do not understand the role these shinigami play. Are they not the true owners of the death notes? Are they not servants of Kira? I had thought Ryuk would start answering questions once I met Kira."

L said, "I have spent much time and energy investigating them, without discovering any purpose to them. They are passive and uncaring, refusing to interfere. The only good thing about them is that their personalities make it easy for humans to use them to enact Kira's mission."

Mikami frowned, and Misa made a gentle scolding noise at him as she was trying to apply make-up around his furrowed eyebrows. He immediately relaxed his muscles, but somehow managed to still look tense.

Mikami said, "I will conduct an independent investigation into the story you have told me. I will collect evidence on my own, so that you will not be able to steer me to planted evidence. I will also conduct interviews with witnesses."

L felt as if the bottom had dropped out of his stomach.

 _Here it comes._

Mikami said, "There must be at least one person who can confirm some critical part of your story. You will deliver that person to me, to be controlled into telling the truth."

L said, "We have been extremely secretive, as a matter of necessity. The only people who know of Kira's plans are already dead, or they've had their memories of being Kira's soldiers erased. Only you, Misa and myself know anything crucial. The rest of the information that is relevant to proving I am telling the truth is more or less publicly accessible and those you might interview about it will tell you the same story regardless of whether you control them or not."

Mikami said, "Who is Watari?"

L replied, "There is not a single Watari. The role has been played by a number of hired men, none of whom ever saw my face. I rarely used the same man more than once."

 _Technically, that is mostly true, except that over ninety percent of the time I used the true Watari._

Mikami said, "You will give me one of these men, and I will control him in order to force the truth from him. If it is as you say, you should have no difficulty getting me one of them."

 _I must think of this as a horrid necessity. I cannot protect all innocents from Mikami, and for this situation I cannot use a completely fake Watari, as it must be someone who has truthfully fulfilled the role in the past. I should use William Potts. He is old enough that he would probably die within a few years anyway, and he has no family and very few friends._

L suddenly had the urge to admit the truth to Mikami, and then hope that after hearing that the real Kira was dead perhaps Mikami wouldn't have an emotional crisis large enough to endanger the entire world. But then he dismissed that urge as completely irrational and squashed it deep inside.

Misa waved L back out of the way and carefully placed a wig on Mikami's head, making many small adjustments before she was satisfied. L started up a computer in the corner of the room and fed it the proper information.

L finished just as Misa pulled Mikami up out of his chair and surprised even herself by saying, "Done!"

L pointed to the mirror and said, "Mikami, face the mirror so the camera can do an analysis."

Mikami walked over to stand where L indicated, frowned at the mirror and said, "I look like a Harajuku girl."

Ryuk said, "No, your stomach makes you look like a guy."

None of Mikami's actual hair was visible, only a long bright pink wig with one black streak that hung into his face, completely covering one eye and most of his nose. His visible eye, along with the other one, had black eyeliner drawn around it to give almost a rectangular shape at one end, turning into a dramatic sweep that ended in a triangular point. The foundation had made his skin paler than L's skin, and lipstick made his lips bright pink, drawn smaller and slightly higher than his actual lips.

His outfit to complete the look was a bodysuit of silver leather and black velvet, accented with lace panels. It had a large open oval to show off his abdominal muscles. The entire thing was set off with fingerless red gloves and knee-length glittering silver boots with many buckles. Mikami looked uncomfortable even standing in it, as if his every urge told him to rip it off and destroy it.

L said, "Press that button next to the mirror, select your photo, and you'll get a result on the computer."

Mikami pressed the button almost reluctantly, and then the computer mounted next to the mirror gave percentages for the chance of being recognized by the five most commonly-used programs for facial recognition. The highest percentage was seventeen.

L said, "That computer has already erased your photo, for safety reasons. You'll need to take a new photo before every session."

Mikami replied, "Seventeen percent is too high. Kira must be safe."

"This percentage of recognition is for if they compare video of your face as it is now to a photo of your normal face. That situation may never occur. It would be a tremendous computing task to process all video from Tokyo's public places to look for your face, especially to do so fast enough to catch you before you leave the place where you were caught on video. There are so many people in Tokyo that you are likely to be overlooked unless you go in areas where they might expect you."

"What would those be?"

"They are most likely to process videos from airports and hotels. They may also anticipate you showing up in certain other places. Do not go anywhere near anyone who knows you, do not do your research in any of the places you have used to research for trials in the past, and do not return to the same place twice. Be sure that for each stop you make, you do everything that you need to do there as fast as possible and then leave. Because your disguise makes you highly visible, we will also switch your disguise to a different one for each new trip. I will be ordering more clothing in your size."

Mikami said, "Be sure it arrives by tomorrow, and try to get something less uncomfortable. I will leave now, to make the best use of my time."

Misa began to tidy the area, putting away the make-up and supplies.

Mikami walked away, the leather making slight creaking noises, and just as he was almost out of the room, L said, "Mikami, thank you for all you have done. You have been brave, and you are a martyr for Kira. If there is anything I can do for you in your last days of life, do not hesitate to ask. Whatever you ask for could never be enough to pay you for the tremendous sacrifice you've made."

Mikami looked back over his shoulder, wincing at the squeak the leather made, and said, "I require nothing, and I am a martyr either way, whether you are lying or telling the truth. Kira will be saved."

Rem trailed along after Mikami's disappearing form.

 _Good, she at least knows enough to keep track of him while he's within range. If he tries to suddenly return and surprise us, Rem will probably go ahead of him and warn us._

Misa's expression suddenly changed from cheery and bright to exhausted and sullen.

L said, "Misa, you look tired. Let's go to the roof and take some fresh air. Nobody can see us there."

Misa looked surprised, but took L's offered hand and let him pull her along, through a hallway and then up a narrow stairway that opened directly onto the roof. A high fence of woven wicker-like substance entirely encircled the flat portion of the roof, hiding it from outsiders, and there were several benches to sit on. L sat down at the greatest distance from Misa and peered out through the gaps in the fence's weave, watching for one of the cars to leave.

L said, "Misa, it is possible that Mikami has been sneaky enough to have already placed a few hidden listening devices or even cameras in this house, and in any case I am sure he intends to do so soon, or he would not have destroyed all the equipment for detecting those items. We cannot use Mikami's absence to buy more detecting equipment, because if Mikami ever discovers us searching for such things he will think we are working against him."

L heard the sound of the garage door opening, and then a car emerged from the house, driving very slowly and a little unsteadily. He had a moment of panic at thinking of the possibility of Mikami's driving inexperience causing a wreck that would leave Mikami unconscious for the rest of his life. But, no, Mikami was overly cautious. The chances of him getting into an accident, especially one causing something worse than mild pain at all times, was very low.

When it was almost out of sight, Rem separated from the car and then flew back to go through a wall into the house.

L said, "The roof is clean for the moment. We can talk openly here for now. There are also a number of rooms downstairs that Mikami never entered, and so they will be clean until he returns as long as you close the door to make the room soundproof. I will take you to one of those rooms soon, but after this you must always remain in character. You must never assume that you are safe and unwatched. One mistake could ruin everything. Do you understand?"

Misa replied, "Understand," and gasped in surprise at her achievement.

L continued waiting and watching in silence, wary of Mikami trying to suddenly return, until Rem finally came up from underneath a bench onto the roof.

L said, "Rem, stay here and watch in all directions for Mikami's return. Warn us immediately if that happens. I need to fully brief Misa and put a few finishing touches on my plans."

This time L did not take Misa's hand, but simply turned his back on her and made his way to a secret room that could only be accessed by moving a bookcase.

Once they were both inside the nearly-bare room and the bookcase/door was back in place, L said, "Misa, the strength of my plan is that I have lied about almost nothing. Every bit of publicly-available information agrees with the story I told Mikami, so he can research all he wants and he should not find any contradictory information. Even the token Watari I am being forced to hand over to Mikami will only know that he functioned once as a go-between for L's communications with Interpol, several years ago, and that he never saw L's face. There is only one piece of information that could cast serious doubts on my story, and we need to eliminate that possibility now."

L hesitated, then said, "Yumiko knows I am afraid of you, and that I had a panic attack. If Mikami discovers this, it would still be possible to fool him into believing my story, but it would make things extremely difficult."

L made his way to the only furniture in the bare room, a small table that held a single computer. With some difficulty he hoisted up one table leg just enough to unscrew the bottom and a cellphone fell out.

L said, "Misa, I am sorry I did not think of this sooner. It is my fault. I did not think he would conduct interviews."

Misa looked very worried.

L said, "I am certain he won't dare to kill Kira's sister, but it is likely he will eventually think to talk to your closest family members as part of his interviewing process. We need to convince Yumiko to be quiet. She can keep a secret."

L made the call, and when Yumiko answered he couldn't even get past the greeting, she was so upset and practically shrieking into the phone. She wanted to know where her sister was and why the hospital knew nothing and whether Misa was okay and she simply would not let L get out anything more than half a word for some time.

When Yumiko finally took a breath, L said, "Yumiko, Misa is here. She is fine. I am sorry we left so suddenly. Something has happened."

"What?"

L silently mouthed the words, "I'm sorry," to Misa and then into the phone he said, "Misa has a new boyfriend. We are all living together now, the three of us."

"What!"

"I accept this situation. I have always accepted Misa's habits. I know you do not approve, but this is what Misa wishes. She is receiving excellent medical care within our home and she is in no danger."

Yumiko sighed and said, "When can I visit her?"

"I do not know. He is not here presently, and we would need his permission because we are living in his house. We are still very busy with the process of moving. However, I need to discuss something important with you."

"What is it now?"

"I am sure that you must guess I am a sexual submissive, and that-"

Yumiko said, "I don't want to hear about this! Just do your own private things without telling me, okay?"

L said, "I would not bring this up, except that there is a potential impact on Misa's safety. Please hear me out."

"The new boyfriend isn't going to hurt her, is he?"

"No, nothing like that. He is very gentle and he is also a submissive. The problem is that I am naturally a very frightened person, and I feel extremely inadequate. I am terrified that Misa's new boyfriend will think I am too weak and soft, and then he won't like me any longer. The fear of this has been keeping me up at night, and it has been so extreme I've been thinking of killing myself. Misa's own will to live is extremely fragile, and I am sure another suicide so close to her would affect her deeply."

Yumiko gasped and held her breath. A few moments later L heard her letting out air in a slow hiss.

 _I need to let her adjust to this. She should be unwilling to take the risk even if she doesn't quite believe me, but a more believable situation is better._

L waited a few more moments, until he heard even, regular breathing on Yumiko's end, and then he said, "I am the most burdened by one thought in particular. I do not want him to find out that I am frightened of Misa and that I have panic attacks. Please do not tell anyone, especially not him. Please! If you are not sympathetic to my situation I would be willing to bribe you to keep quiet. Name any price."

 _If she is not willing to keep the secret, she should protest immediately. In that case I will need to arrange a situation where everyone that she knows will think she has gone on a sudden vacation, but she has actually been taken into protective custody until after Mikami's death. That should be a last resort, though, because it would certainly appear suspicious to Mikami._

Yumiko said, "Keep your money. I haven't told anyone anyway, and I wasn't planning to. I'm not a gossip. Don't worry about this, I won't say anything. Just let me see Misa soon."

"Why don't you talk to her now? I'll give her the phone."

L handed the cellphone to Misa. Misa turned her back to him and made periodic babbling noises into the phone. When she was done L carefully concealed the phone inside the table leg once more, and then he used the computer to bring up various people's photos, explaining to Misa the false timeline he'd constructed in great detail and pointing out the Kira supporters who had died in the past year that he'd decided would be presented to Mikami as Kira's soldiers, the ones who'd had pages only and thus had needed to be killed to protect the secret.

When L finished and saw the overwhelmed look on Misa's face, he said, "Do not worry about remembering all this. I am sure Mikami will separate you from me and ask you questions, but because of your disability you only need to have a general idea of my story. Feign worse communication skills than you actually have if Mikami tries to grill you about specifics and details. Your job is simply to remain in character, to use your acting skills. Do not try any schemes or plans of your own, as you did when we investigated Higuchi, because doing anything more than what I've asked you to do could backfire."

Misa made a noise that sounded like she was agreeing.

L said, "In everything that is not crucial, we will be completely honest. I will leave the door to this room open, to show Mikami that we are not hiding anything. I am sure he would have discovered this room anyway, by measuring other rooms and seeing that they do not add up correctly. He may find the cellphone, but that is not crucial. If he asks, I will even show it to him."

Misa looked surprised but made a noise of agreement again.

L said, "Now, let's go shopping. Along with buying new disguises for Mikami, we need to buy clothing for you. If we had your regular clothing delivered here, it is possible someone might follow it, and also it is almost all in the gothic lolita style. I am sure Mikami does not approve of the public persona of Misa Amane, so to command the greatest respect and loyalty from him we must keep up the pretense that all those silly and outlandish things are only for your fans, not the real you. The real you prefers normal clothing when not in public."

L opened the door to the secret room and then went back to the computer, bringing up various shopping websites and letting Misa guide him as to what to buy.

Mikami did not return until several hours after sunset. He brought boxes full of documents and articles of all kinds, but instead of going to work immediately, he stacked them on a table and stomped off to the bathroom for a long time, emerging nearly an hour later with no make-up or wig and back in his normal clothing. He looked exhausted and as he sat down in front of the evidence he'd collected and began to go through it, he kept rubbing at his eyes and temples.

L sat at a nearby table, poking his food into patterns on his plate. Misa was at a different table, using scissors to cut paper into intricate doily shapes.

L was in the middle of creating a stack of chocolates and tiny little pastries filled with jam when Mikami suddenly said, "What is wrong with you? Why do you eat that way and always crouch?"

L said, "It is my own way of organization. It helps me to think. It leads to better results in my work, which is very important."

Mikami said, "It is not right. You need to stop doing it. Sit straight, eat something healthy, and stop playing with your food."

 _If I give in to his demands too easily, he will be suspicious that I'm trying to placate him rather than being myself. Besides, I wouldn't function that well._

L said, "I eat one healthy meal a day, and I eat one healthy item with every meal. My posture is not going to change anytime soon. It is an ingrained habit and I do not think as well if I'm always fighting against that habit. It is not my fault that I became like this. My parents were very poor and did not have furniture, so I grew up being used to crouching on the floor. By the time I experienced other environments with furniture, it was already a habit I found impossible to break."

"Where are your parents now?"

"They are dead. They died when I was four years old. I was sent to live with my grandmother in Japan until she died when I was seven, and then I was sent to distant relatives in England who were incapable of caring for me and they put me in an orphanage. From that time until I was eighteen I moved from orphanage to orphanage, and then I lived on my own."

 _We are all orphans here. This might make Mikami identify with me more easily._

Mikami quizzed L about the details of that supposed life, and L answered all his questions, giving the names of his parents and grandmother and of orphanages he'd never lived at but where his information had been planted in anticipation of a purpose like this. They were all large orphanages and short times of residency, so that it would seem entirely natural that the staff should have no memory of him. Mikami should anticipate the staff should have no memory of L and think it pointless to kill just for interviews.

When Mikami finished the questioning and seemed satisfied, he said, "Your parents are to blame for your posture, but you need to stop making excuses about your diet. You are the one responsible for that. I am going to throw out all your junk food tomorrow and I will ensure every meal you eat here is healthy. If you change your eating habits for just a week or two, you will see how much better you feel and you will want to do it the correct way.

 _Tomorrow? Then I had best go downstairs and eat that entire cake now._

Several hours later, Mikami was still awake and going through his evidence when Misa started yawning and made pantomime motions of sleeping, so L took her to the bedroom with the largest bed, with plenty of room to be as far from Misa as possible, and tried to act as a husband should while she undressed in front of him and changed into her pajamas. He tried to be casual and relaxed and to not avert his eyes, though his stomach was twisting into knots.

They both crawled under the covers and L curled up on his side, hoping to go to sleep. Misa was restless. She moved about constantly and made little sighs and sometimes brushed up against L slightly, making his stomach roil even as a small amount of arousal shot through his system, mixed with anger, fear, hate and other ugly emotions.

L couldn't help but compare Misa to Light. Light had been a wonderful bedmate. He had stayed on his side of the bed and had always gone into an immediate deep sleep that was peaceful. He didn't have wandering hands or kicking legs or inadvertent sleep-snuggles.

L scooted even further from Misa, almost off the bed, and forced his mind through various mental exercises while he tensed his entire body and then relaxed one muscle at a time, each in sequence, fiercely fantasizing that the bed was empty and Misa was not there.

L was almost asleep when he suddenly felt Misa snuggle up against his back, her arms snaking around his chest and hugging him. He froze in place, convinced for a moment that he was going to throw up right there, feeling his stomach do flip-flops and feeling the strong, fast beating of his heart. Trembling was trying to start up in his limbs, but he squashed the reaction with sheer willpower; he absolutely refused to let it happen.

 _Mikami could have placed cameras and bugs in here already._

L rolled over and pulled Misa close, acting as if he were tenderly kissing her ear. Instead of kissing, he very quietly whispered directly into her ear, "Don't hug me now. It makes me want to vomit. We need to put on a believable act."

Then he withdrew, as if he had just wanted that one kiss, and curled up in his own part of the bed to gently nibble on his thumb and sleeplessly stare at the wall for hours.

He never went to sleep and was up early, before anyone else, gobbling down as much of the remaining cookies, candy, donuts and other sweets as he could.

When Mikami arrived in the kitchen he started throwing things out and noticed everything that was missing, everything that L had secretly eaten. He scolded L and forced him to eat a second, normal breakfast, then spent a few hours quizzing L about every detail of the false timeline L had constructed, including the identity of every person who had ever acted as one of Kira's soldiers. Mikami took notes during the process and frequently asked L the same questions in a slightly different way, probing to try to find any contradictions.

Mikami then took Misa into a soundproof room for two hours and quizzed her. Rem went in and out of the room, bringing L updates. It sounded as if there were no problems.

For lunch, Mikami insisted on having L help him make cabbage rolls from scratch. He lectured L about every aspect of the process and kept pointing out the things L was doing wrong, forcing him to do it over and over until it was right. By the time lunch was finally ready, L was cross and exhausted, with sore fingers from constantly re-rolling the cabbage to Mikami's exact specifications.

Then Mikami tried to serve, along with the cabbage rolls, steamed rice and natto. L stared at the natto as the smell assaulted his nose.

 _Is Mikami kidding? Natto, the Japanese food that is most likely to cause a foreigner to throw up. He can't be serious._

L said, "I'm sorry, but I don't like natto."

Before Mikami could protest, L jumped up from his seat, taking his plate of natto to the trash and dumping it in.

Mikami started lecturing about the health benefits of natto. L felt slightly dizzy. The smell filled the room. Misa was having no problem with the natto and was eating it with a cheery smile on her face.

L returned to his seat and started eating the cabbage rolls as Mikami continued to lecture.

 _Really? How long can he go on about this? Something so vile can't have that many health benefits. It is probably half folklore anyway._

The oppressive feeling didn't go away. It was only increased by the lingering natto stench. The air was stifling and thick, and L kept shaking his head, trying to clear it. His thinking seemed muddled. He felt sleepy and out of things and couldn't focus well on what he was doing.

Then, just as the meal was almost finished, L had a feeling as if he'd run into a spiderweb and the invisible strands were on him, along with a spider crawling just out of reach of his swatting hand. He wiped along his arms, trying to get rid of whatever it was as he inspected them for any traces of what he could feel but couldn't see. The sensation didn't go away no matter how much he wiped, it only got worse, and pretty soon there seemed to be several spiders, somewhere just out of reach and sight, getting into his clothing. Cold sweat was running down his back, under his shirt, leaving nasty wet trails.

Suddenly a familiar voice said, "Ryuzaki, I want to help. Please let me do something other than making coffee."

L could just barely see the owner of that voice standing at the edge of his peripheral vision. It was Matsuda.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

We've got Misa dressing normally, and Mikami dressing as outlandishly as Misa ever did. I think Mikami would be a very pretty guy in the visual kei style. Everyone is getting pushed around by circumstances, pushed away from their comfort zones and from what they would normally do.

Mikami held his tongue for a little while about L's eccentricities, but now he's trying to replace L's candy with natto.

I figure that Mikami is caught between two opposing forces, on the one side the reverence he feels for Kira and the respect he would have for Kira's number one minion, and on the other side the disdain and disapproval he would normally feel for people like L and Misa. In his mind, if L's story is true, then he needs to overlook and forgive flaws that he normally never would, so he has a massive internal conflict.


	34. False

**CHAPTER 34: False**

L was stunned into complete immobility. He desperately wanted to turn to see the barely-visible figure at the edge of his sight, but at the same time he wanted nothing more than to never get a good look. There was a crawling sensation in the pit of his stomach and prickles running up the back of his neck.

He was frozen, overwhelmed. His thoughts simply did not work for a few heartbeats.

Mikami said, "You look ill, L. Are you feeling sick?"

 _Matsuda is dead. He could not possibly be alive. I saw him collapse and I've seen the police reports and other records that deal with finding his dead body and burying it. His body was undamaged and easily recognizable so there could not have been a switch. Faking all that paperwork, and also faking the recognition given by Matsuda's family members, it could not be done._

The figure took a few steps closer, becoming just slightly more visible, and said, "You're not going to remain chained to Light forever, are you? We'll catch Kira, and then we'll have a de-chaining celebration. Lots of sake for everyone!"

There was something wrong with Matsuda's face, still at the edge of vision. L could not bear to turn and look directly.

 _Mikami and Misa are not reacting. Besides, if Matsuda were alive and here, Mikami would already know my story is false and events would now be unfolding differently._

Just then, blood began oozing out around the hinges of a cupboard just behind Mikami, slowly dripping down, thick and red, pooling on the counter below. L's eyes flicked to the side to study it.

 _Matsuda is a hallucination. Either Mikami drugged my food, or I am going insane, or Mikami has written my name. Or, perhaps I am wrong and Matsuda is a ghost. If shinigami can exist, ghosts can too, though I wonder why..._

Misa pointed at the natto on her plate and said, "Good!" Then she moved her finger to point at the almost-finished cabbage rolls and said, "Best ever! Best, best, best."

 _Misa seems unaffected. I doubt she was drugged._

The crawling sensation was getting more distracting. The number of invisible spiders had multiplied and L fought the temptation to swat at them. They felt so real and there was a building paranoia, a growing conviction that they must, somehow, be real spiders despite all evidence to the contrary. It was completely, utterly illogical but L wanted to believe in the spiders.

 _Think! I must think before my thoughts become too chaotic. What does Mikami hope to accomplish with this?_

L felt a hand on his shoulder and his stomach did flip-flops. He couldn't help but turn then; he turned and looked the Matsuda-thing full in the face. There were no eyes, just deep gray-black holes, tunnels that led back and back, further than could exist within the space of Matsuda's head. The tunnels had a slight swirling motion to them, their edges rotating ever so slowly. L wanted to scream and jump back, he wanted to get the thing's hand off his shoulder, but he held himself in place.

Mikami said, "What is it?"

L looked back to his plate, willing that the unnatural hand would be removed from his shoulder and that the thing wouldn't speak to him again, trying to force control over the situation as he would in a bad dream.

 _Mikami will question me. He is trying to confuse me, so that I can't remember the details of my own story and will be caught in a lie, or so that I act out of character. Fortunately, what I've shown him is my true character, except for liking Misa. I should answer no questions unless I am completely and utterly sure of the answer. Drugs cannot force a confession. If they could, law enforcement would be very simple._

Finally, the pressure of the hand left his shoulder and L sighed in relief. The spiders were annoying but tolerable as long as that walking, talking symbol of his guilt and failure would go away. Matsuda had died as a result of L's poor planning, of his inability to consider Misa as the serious threat she turned out to be. However, L's spoon was catching his eye, drawing his concentration away from the task of wishing Matsuda gone. The spoon was looking very sinister even though there was nothing visibly wrong with it.

L had the feeling that if he turned it over there would be something unspeakably disgusting on the other side of it. He carefully slid it away from him across the table. It was contaminated, wrong. It was exuding pure evil.

L giggled.

L did not realize how far he was leaning over until his nose hit his plate. In the next instant he felt a hand on his shoulder and screamed, whipping his head up and around to see Mikami standing there. Just visible over Mikami's shoulder, Matsuda was standing on a little ladder with a paint can, painting the wall a bright, searing electric blue. As soon as L glimpsed him, Matsuda started humming.

L said, "You drugged me."

The muscles on just one side of his neck gave out and his head flopped to the side, resting on Mikami's chest.

 _He smells like strawberries. Is that the scent of his body wash? Why do they make so many things that smell good but taste terrible? It just makes you want to consume them. Drinking perfume was such a terrible idea; I'm lucky I didn't poison myself. Grandma was so angry._

In a dry voice, Mikami said, "You will not die from it. I know that for a fact."

"Do you know it won't cause... umm... things... other problems."

"Not from one dose, no. You are completely safe, L. That is, unless you are lying. Then you are not safe at all. In that case I will get you."

Misa got up from her chair and slapped Mikami with her good hand. L stared up at the bright red mark left on Mikami's chin. He could almost see the outline of Misa's tiny fingers.

Mikami stuttered, "I-I am sorry. This is ne-neccessary."

L's head fell further and landed in his plate with a dull, distant-feeling smack, as if it were an event happening several rooms away instead of something happening directly to him. His thoughts felt as if they were trying to be pulled in several directions at once. L had the urge to begin dancing in time to Matsuda's humming, and he also was afraid that the horrible spoon would try crawling across the table to get him, and he could feel some of the spiders getting under his skin, skin which was oversensitive and throbbing. Things were slowed down. It was forever since Mikami had spoken, though L knew he'd only taken one breath in that time.

 _As long as I don't say anything I'm not absolutely sure of the answer to, it would actually help if I become an incoherent mess quickly. I should give in to the insanity._

L let himself fall from the chair but Mikami caught him. L giggled, slumping further every time Mikami tried to prop him up. He averted his face entirely from the sight of the Matsuda-thing. His skin felt like a bad sunburn cracking open every place Mikami touched him, sensitive, overwhelmed.

 _This is why I don't go in the sun. My skin is too fair for it unless I put on enough sun block to feel like I've been dipped in lard._

Mikami said, "Your hair is full of rice."

"That's because you're such a good cook. You get the rice so sticky!"

L was becoming a pool of liquid, flowing down Mikami's arms, trying to join with the floor.

Mikami pulled L up again and said, "What was the name of the soldier you gave three pages to on March eighteenth?"

L took his time, plucking at his hair and then licking rice from his fingers. He searched his memory, his concentration a white-hot focus. Dimly, from the corner of his eye, he saw Matsuda leaving the room. The bright blue design was still painted on the wall, two triangular blobs joined by a string of messy dots arcing between them. It felt extremely meaningful.

When L was absolutely sure of the answer he waited until Mikami shook him and then said, "Gerard Wingate."

Mikami made an exasperated noise and then in the next moment L's sense of balance went strange, and there was air underneath him but his mind wasn't deducing why. Mikami was moving and L was stuck to him. Carried along. Carrying.

 _He's carrying me._

Mikami said, "I can't talk to you like this. I can't look at that... that hair. It's disgusting!"

 _It is best to give in._

L turned his head into the shoulder next to him, breathing in the strawberry scent. He plucked delicately at the crisp burgundy fabric, leaving sticky bits of rice, immensely satisfied with the texture of it and the color. He could feel another giggle trying to escape and let it spill out, closing his eyes and pretending that spiders were not laying thousands of tiny eggs beneath his skin. His muscles felt weak and useless. Perhaps they had all been eaten up. L's head knocked against a doorframe.

In a commanding voice, Mikami said, "Stop moving so much!"

L held still, frozen, even holding in his breath until he started to get dizzy. Then he pulled it in as a big gasp, the sweetness and relief flooding all at once into his lungs.

They were in a different room and Mikami was trying to unload L onto a long counter with a sink at one end. L could not seem to assist. He had that puddle-like flowing sensation again and kept thinking he would ooze off onto the floor. It was impossible to believe that the counter was actually level.

Mikami said, "Stay very still."

L nodded, and locked his muscles in place. So, they existed, they hadn't been eaten away and filled full of great webby masses of spider eggs. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the stillness, on a complete absence of movement, on the hard sensation of the counter underneath him, pressing into the back of his head and the entire length of his body, right down to his heels. He didn't slide off the counter.

A moment later he felt a painful tugging, his skin being stripped away, but, no, it was just his shirt. It got stuck coming over his head and then with a few more of those oddly painful tugs it was gone and L felt cool air on his nipples. He shivered and stared up at the whorls in the wood on the bottom of a cupboard above him. It was getting purple, bloating outward. It would grow and grow until it fell on him - no, it was forming into something. The outlines of a closed eye developed, and then a mustache.

L focused on Mikami and saw him shirtless, his hair in wild disarray.

 _I must have smeared his shirt. He is getting clean too._

Then Mikami was suddenly way, way too close and pinning L to the counter with a strong hand in the middle of his chest.

 _He's going to rape me! No!_

L struggled, but his limbs were made of syrup. He was about to scream when his whole body was slid along the counter and his head was suddenly hanging unsupported, a shiny metal faucet just above his face. Then Mikami supported his head and he felt cold water rushing down, an incredible shock that brought with it clarity, a sense of mental sharpness. He was safe, nothing was happening, only Mikami's hands in his hair, shampooing him.

L sighed, closing his eyes, letting the water wash away his troubles. The hands were soothing. It felt like being a small child, being washed by another.

A sudden image popped into his head of Ryuk washing him in the shower, before Misa took over those duties.

L opened his eyes and said, "Hey, Ryuk! Mikami is better than you, yes he is!"

Mikami was leaning close but his voice came as if from very far away, saying, "Ryuk is in the other room. He got tired of watching us cook, remember? That show he likes is on television."

The bloated purple thing was gone from the cupboard, but was trying to reform on the wall. L kept wishing it away, making it disappear over and over.

L said, "I can control it, you know. Purple mustaches will never get me."

Mikami was getting into the cupboards. The sounds made by the opening of each door were unnaturally loud and produced echoing, strange and metallic.

 _Would oiling the hinges help? Maybe we should go shopping today._

Then L looked away and when he looked back Mikami was gone. L held perfectly still, afraid he'd slide off the counter if he moved even slightly. He could tell it was tilted but wasn't sure which direction it was tilted in. Were his feet higher than his head, or the other way around, or was it one side that was much higher than the other? His perspective kept changing.

Then Mikami was back and L was being swept up again, carried, at first feeling stretched out as if he'd left part of himself on that counter but then wiggling and trying to pat at parts of his body and at last feeling it all together, all in one place.

Mikami dumped him someplace soft and L squirmed, trying to sit up but it really was quite difficult. Gravity wasn't cooperating, and neither were his muscles, but at least the spiders were gone.

Towels, towels, towels, everywhere he looked. A few more searching looks and then he realized Mikami had covered an entire couch with multiple layers of towels.

 _He is concerned about my wet hair dripping on the furniture._

L pulled up a towel and tried to wrap himself in it, unsuccessfully. It was hopelessly tangled and he couldn't find the edge of it. He pulled it around and around. It was like a mobius strip.

He sighed and said, "Mikami, I'm cold. Can you help?"

Mikami turned his back and left the room in a huff. L tried to pull his legs up to sit as usual but it simply didn't work. He kept falling over. The walls were odd, trying to move further out or closer whenever L wasn't directly looking at them. He rotated his head rapidly, eyeing them one after another in quick succession to keep them in their proper places. Once he thought he saw Aizawa briefly reflected in a mirror, but when he glanced back nothing was there.

Mikami came back into the room with an armload of towels so big it nearly hid his face, and dropped one after another on L, until he felt he was swimming in them, buried except for his head, unable to tell which direction was up or down. But it was warm.

Mikami was sitting in a chair, with a new shirt on, combing his hair. L hummed along in time with the strokes of the comb and then varied his repertoire to add beeping at the end of each stroke, imitating the distinctive warning sound of a large truck about to back up. Mikami glared.

L stopped it and became occupied in trying to prevent the purple thing from forming on the ceiling. It was a swollen face. Whenever he let it develop very far it showed features of both Soichiro and Ryuk. It was immensely pleasing to let it form halfway and then banish it with willpower, watching it shrivel away.

Mikami was suddenly looming in L's face.

Mikami said, "Explain to me again all the details of the plan to frame Hideki Ryuga for being Kira."

"There was... um... stuff. Also, his manager died two months after Hideki had announced he would sue him. He seemed a good target, suspicious. Besides, his movies are a kind of cultural rot. It only harms Japan to let that kind of trash be popularized."

"You told me this before. I need all the details, every last one. Can you remember them again, or was it all made up?"

L rubbed at the towel, playing with it, and let his eyes drift to the ceiling once more.

L laughed and said, "Misa is sooooo pregnant. Have you seen it? She shouldn't even be showing, it's pretty early. I bet it will be a huge baby, bigger than me. Probably bigger than this house."

The walls suddenly shook back and forth vigorously. L watched them for a little while before he realized Mikami was shaking him. Mikami gripped L's chin and turned his face upward. L was suddenly staring into exasperated eyes, inches from his own.

Mikami said, "Focus! Wake up! You're not going to go to sleep on me!"

L saw no patience in those eyes.

 _As long as I answer almost none of his questions, Mikami cannot tell the difference between a drug-induced inability to focus and a genuine breakdown in memory caused by complex lies._

L deliberately drooled onto Mikami's hand. The hand was drawn back immediately with a gasp, and moments later Mikami was gone.

Just before L closed his eyes, Aizawa loomed over him and said, "What an annoying little shit!"

L had only enough strength to nod in agreement before overwhelming exhaustion took him into a deep but troubled sleep.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I was thinking of calling this chapter, "This is L, this is L on drugs" but decided to go with something more mysterious.

Mikami wasted a lot of time cleaning L instead of questioning him, and then was defeated by drool in the end. This particular plan was a bust for Mikami.

I bet L will be more paranoid about his food after this.

I also put in a bit of what could be considered fan service, with Mikami carrying L around and with shirtless Mikami cleaning shirtless L and shampooing his hair. I suspect this is the only "Mikami shampoos L's hair" fic in existence.


	35. Wandering

**CHAPTER 35: Wandering**

L woke up to a blinding headache and a dry throat, with the memories of terrible, paranoia-inducing nightmares still swirling in his brain.

 _Am I out of it yet? Or am I still in it?_

He didn't open his eyes more than a crack because the light was unbearable, and he didn't want to go back to sleep, where both Misa and Mikami would hold him down and almost-alive straightjackets would slither into place while insects steadily ate at his body.

Oddly enough it was the nightmare's sounds that stayed with him rather than the dulled pain of the bites, the squishy sounds of thousands of bug-jaws working in unison on his flesh. He could almost still hear them, but not quite.

Upon waking there was an odd aftertaste in his mouth, and more than anything he wanted to eat a chocolate cake covered on top with shavings of Belgian dark chocolate, whip cream and cherries, and with connective layers inside consisting of hot cream cheese mixed with shredded coconut.

The image of exactly what he needed was so clear in his mind that he almost mindlessly called for Watari.

He stopped himself in time and groaned into the pile of towels and blankets that enfolded him. Mikami must have returned at some point with blankets. L was practically in a nest formed of blankets and towels.

There was an eerie silence that seemed to re-gather itself quickly after that single groan, and L almost expected to start seeing hallucinations again. He scanned the room from behind his slitted eyelids, but the walls seemed willing to stay in their proper places, the purple lump-face was certainly gone, and nothing else seemed out of the ordinary.

 _Acute tactile hallucinations and disturbances of balance and motion would be consistent with Salvia divinorum, but it is generally thought by most scientists that digestive juices destroy the psychedelic substance in Salvia too quickly for eating it to be effective. LSD would be easily obtainable and could have symptoms compatible with what I experienced. Ayahuasca is a possibility, but I probably would have had much worse hallucinations if I'd eaten it, and there is at least an eighty percent chance I would have vomited by now._

L sat up gingerly, feeling a rush of dizziness with the half-vertical stance, his heart beating faster, unexpected cramps in his legs as soon as he moved them.

 _Symptoms of dehydration. How long have I been asleep?_

Suddenly, going back to sleep seemed like the best idea, even with the nightmare lurking at the edge of consciousness, waiting to return.

 _No, I need to get water at least. I cannot let myself become too impaired. I could still slip up._

L got up slowly, though everything hurt and it felt like all the blood in his body was draining into his feet, leaving him weak, dizzy and shaky. He walked cautiously, concentrating hard on each foot he put down so he wouldn't fall, and easing his weight forward with every step. His head was splitting open, a sharp pounding that made him wince and made him keep closing his eyes to shut out the searing-bright light.

The more steps he took, the more it seemed like a good idea to simply return to sleep. Perhaps even on the floor. It would be easy to sink down bonelessly onto the soft carpet and slip into a nap. L resisted the notion.

Halfway across the room he realized he was fully dressed again. At some point Mikami must have put a shirt on him. Had he been unconscious at the time, or had it occurred during a black-out he couldn't remember? If it was a black-out, had anything incriminating or suspicious been revealed?

 _It could not have been mushrooms. The ones he was putting in the cabbage rolls were clearly maitake and shitake, not psychedelic mushrooms, and he put exactly the same ones in my cabbage rolls as in his own and Misa's. I am sure of it._

L found himself standing in a doorway and leaned against the doorframe. It felt good, and the headache and weakness lessened slightly.

 _As long as I'm up to get water, I should get cake too. Except, Mikami got rid of it all. There isn't a single sweet thing in the entire house._

 _I could order a cake to be delivered from the nearest bakery._

L hesitated, peering down the hallway in each direction. One way would lead him to a bathroom where he could get a glass of water, the other to a phone for getting cake. The glowing numbers of a digital clock in the distance showed him that he'd been asleep or otherwise out of it for about seven hours.

 _Cake will take time, and I might fall asleep again waiting for it. Dehydration is more important._

Still, even after he'd made his decision it was difficult to stop leaning on the doorframe and actually take action. The doorframe was so solid and comfortable, slowly draining his aches away. It was a comforting place to be. The stillness and quiet all around seemed to be gathering strength, preparing to pounce, but just where L stayed there was a sense of safety.

 _Was I truly asleep during the time I cannot remember, or did I have a black-out?_

L shifted position slightly, in the process brushing the side of his head against the doorframe, and winced as a particularly harsh pain throbbed there. He reached up and touched the area, finding a sore, raised lump hidden by his hair.

 _I must have hit my head harder than I realized when Mikami was carrying me. Is that the entire source of my headache?_

Just then a masculine voice called out, incomprehensible and muffled, as if impeded by a wall or a door.

 _Is that Mikami, or a hallucination?_

L left the safety of the doorframe and made his way down the hallway, steadying himself with one hand pressing along the wall, hearing little snatches of the masculine voice becoming more distinct, sounding more like Mikami and filled with almost-understandable words. A few times L heard Misa's murmuring. She sounded happy.

Carefully, in case there were cameras recording his every reaction, L feigned that he noticed nothing as he crept closer to the sounds. It was easy to pretend to be out of it, oblivious and wincing in pain, because that was almost the truth. As L moved further it became apparent that the voices were coming from a bedroom almost directly across the hall from the bathroom L had been aiming for. The bedroom door was open a crack.

Along with the voices becoming more distinct L heard soft wet rhythmic sounds, as of skin against skin. Misa's voice made a long, drawn-out crooning sound of unmistakable pleasure.

There was a pause in the skin-friction sounds and then, in a reverent, awe-struck voice, Mikami said, "Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please forgive me. Please forgive me."

It sounded like the tone of a prayer, urgent and laden with emotion.

A loud thwapping sound followed and Mikami let out a soft, quickly-stifled cry of pain.

Misa said, "Bad!"

Mikami replied, "I know it was wrong. I know. I will never do it again. This is my promise to Kira, to never hurt those Kira loves. Never."

Then the original background sounds started up again, the fleshy, sliding, repetitive noises.

 _Are they really... what should I do? No, perhaps I am still hallucinating. Even if I see the two of them having sex, I cannot yet be sure it is real._

L pretended that he needed to rest and stopped where he was, slowly sinking down the wall, leaning against it as he slid down. The need to go back to sleep was almost overwhelming. He closed his eyes and fought off the sleepiness, thinking frantically. It was essential to evaluate the situation correctly, to have a plan for how to react if it was real, if it wasn't just another hallucination.

Had Misa acted on her own? Had she created her own plan of some kind? Was it like the plans she'd created by herself before, from impatience and an inability to look ahead to the full consequences, or had she thought it out properly this time?

 _Perhaps I said or did something suspicious during the time I cannot remember, and Misa felt she had to use desperate measures to get Mikami under control._

Sex was an excellent way to manipulate people, and Mikami showed all the signs of being susceptible to that sort of influence. What better way to control him than to assert dominance over him? In the process, Misa would create a connection from a god to a worshipper that was intimate and also particularly precious to Mikami in his last days of life.

Yet sex was also a poor way to manipulate because it could backfire easily. If it was real, then Misa had just made the showdown against Mikami much more dangerous. Mikami's loyalty was being tested, his perceptions skewed. Could he still respect a Kira who would cheat on her husband? Yet, it did not have to be presented in those terms. Kira was the one in control, and a valued martyr was being given a special gift during his last days of life. That was what Mikami should be led to believe about it.

L suddenly had a very wrong feeling in his stomach. What if Misa had deviated from the plan in an even worse way? What if she had not truly given up the Kira scheme and was conspiring to somehow use Mikami to get the notebooks back and in the hands of a new Kira, one who would not die?

Her belief system had been ruptured rather abruptly and violently; it was possible she might feel regrets about turning away from Light's ideals. If so, she might see manipulating Mikami as a way to create a situation where Kira's judgments could go on without her, where Kira's legacy would continue in the hands of someone capable of judging, unlike herself or Mikami.

It wouldn't work, not against Matt, but Misa wouldn't know that any scheme to restore Kira's tyranny would be useless. Countless scenarios immediately began spinning themselves out in L's mind. L could feel the wrongness beginning to spread from his stomach to the rest of his body, a rising paranoia that threatened to consume his rationality and send him running headlong in another panic attack.

 _No, if Misa is trying something like that, there is nothing I can do. I will simply die._

The thought of death was calming, anchoring him to reality. Death was the worst that could happen, and it would be a relief of sorts. It put everything else in perspective. He felt stronger. He was still sick to his stomach, but he was certain he could control his feelings.

 _I should assume Misa is still on my side even if she is truly having sex with Mikami. I must show approval of what she is doing, so that Mikami will not fear for her safety after he is dead and think of killing me for her sake. I need to make it clear that I am submissive to Kira's will, a good follower._

With that in mind, L crawled slowly to the bathroom, pulled himself up to the sink and drank directly out of the faucet in big loud gulps. The water was sweet and refreshing, invigorating him, easing his tired, stretched feeling and causing a slight relief from his headache. The noises and occasional voices from across the hall did not stop. They hadn't heard, or they didn't care. Or perhaps they were hallucinations after all.

L pulled himself up to his full height, stopped squinting even though it was far too bright, and exited the bathroom. Just before he pushed the bedroom door open, he made his face as passive as possible.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Sorry about the slow updates. For some reason, the scenes in this have just been taking forever to write, as in me spending hours on it just to produce five sentences in those hours, and having other things happening that are about as frustrating.

So, is this MisaxMikami, or not? You'll have to wait for the next chapter to see.


	36. Performance

**CHAPTER 36: Performance**

When the door opened and revealed the scene, Mikami's gaze flickered quickly to L and then down again, averted.

Misa was sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing a sensible brown dress with a medium-length skirt, exactly the sort of thing that was more Yumiko's style than her own. Her feet were bare and Mikami knelt reverently on the floor in front of her, looking every bit the worshipper as he gently massaged her outstretched feet.

His hands and her feet were slippery, glistening with oil. From Mikami's angle, he could probably see up her skirt if he wanted to, but his eyes were firmly downcast. He reminded L of a dog that knew it had been bad and was cringing before its master. The white shirt he was wearing had spots of blood seeping through it on his upper back.

 _His details of death specified that he would become unconscious if he experienced anything more than mild pain. How is mild pain defined? Is it mild as long as Mikami thinks of it as mild?_

Mikami had a basin full of sudsy water to one side with a sponge floating in it, and to the other side there was a large bottle of scented massage oil. Its citrus smell was overpowering.

 _The paper Mikami wrote his name and details of death on is truly from his murder notebook, that has been proven. However, there is still a very slight possibility that he did not commit suicide. It would be almost impossible, but if a person used enough mental power they could write down their own name without thinking of their own face._

There was a wooden cutting board, the kind with a handle, sitting on the bed next to Misa. She looked at L, seeming pleased and smug, and then picked it up, using it like a paddle to smack Mikami's back as he worked.

He let out another cry of pain, biting back the sound halfway through, and then said, "Thank you. I am sorry."

 _Asserting dominance over Mikami could help him to believe my lies. He wants to be ordered around by authority figures. However, it needs to seem like discipline and not bullying. It is important that he does not snap under the pressure. He must not feel as if what we are doing to him is like what bullies did to him as a child. Our discipline must be tempered with kindness. A little guilt would help as well._

L turned around and left the room, gathering his strength together as best he could and making his way back to the bathroom to raid the cabinet for medical supplies. When he returned with ointment, antiseptic and bandages, Mikami did not look up but immediately started speaking.

Mikami said, "L, please forgive me. I do not know absolutely who Kira is. If I knew Misa Amane was Kira, I would never drug you. If I knew Misa Amane was not Kira, I would have killed you instead of drugging you. It is a difficult situation. What I have done has been for Kira's sake, only for Kira's sake. I must be sure that I am saving the true Kira."

L replied, "Teru Mikami, you are extremely devoted to Kira. The extent of your devotion has surprised even me. It was a wise choice when Kira picked you to be her most important soldier. I forgive you."

 _I hope that doesn't sound too cheesy, but Mikami seems to have a very high tolerance for cheesiness._

Mikami said, "Thank you," and then went back to work on Misa's feet.

L tried to ignore his throbbing headache and reached over to dump the supplies on the bed beside Misa, sliding the impromptu bondage paddle out of her reach to make room for them. Hopefully she would get the hint and realize that there would be no more use of that instrument.

L said, "Teru Mikami, I need to look at your back. I see a little blood. We cannot let the wounds get infected."

Mikami glanced up with an intense look in his eyes and said, "It should be me attending to you. As soon as I am done with her, I can fulfill your needs. Would you like a massage? Are you hungry?"

"I am still suffering," L said, "but I have had much worse."

 _Now it is time to test it._

L went over to Mikami and unbuttoned his shirt, peeling it off of him to see what Misa had done.

There were bruises there, shaped exactly like the wooden cutting board, and the blood that had spotted through the shirt was coming from a little bit of split-open skin in the middle of the bruises, looking scraped and raw but barely oozing any blood.

Mikami said, "This is nothing. I bruise easily, so it looks much worse than it is."

 _Perhaps he was even getting pleasure from it, since Kira caused these injuries. If he gets pleasure and pain at the same time, does it reduce the significance of the pain so that it counts as mild pain?_

Without warning, L suddenly poured rubbing alcohol directly onto the broken skin. Mikami had a hissing intake of breath and in the next second his head fell to the side, his body following. L caught Mikami's slumping, unconscious body, lowering it to a comfortable position lying on its stomach. He finished disinfecting the wounds and applied bandages, then checked Mikami's breathing, slapped his face a few times to test that he wasn't faking it, rolled him over, and waited for him to wake up.

It was only a few more moments before Mikami's eyes opened, looking fuzzy and confused as if waking slowly from a deep sleep.

L crouched over him and said, "You fainted from the pain. I am sorry about doing that. I had to test the details you wrote, and I will not test it by writing your name. You are tremendously resourceful and your plans have shown impressive skill. I was hoping that you had bluffed me and had not truly killed yourself, so that we would not need to lose you."

Mikami blinked a few more times and then said, "I did not consider that. I do not think it would be possible for me to write my own name without any thought of my face entering my mind."

 _He looks impressed. His opinion of me is rising despite the disapproval he would naturally have for someone with my appearance._

Mikami gingerly got up, and then immediately went back to Misa's foot massage. Watching them, L could see the power dynamics, the way he responded to her, the bond that was growing. Mikami wanted to be dominated, and Misa had somehow known exactly how to do it, just how far to take things, and the physical touching between them seemed to be an important component of the process.

When Mikami was done with Misa, L had him fetch exactly the cake that L had been imagining, along with a number of other sweets, and then L sat on the bed and let Mikami give him a foot massage so good that he was almost able to forget about his headache.

The entire time, he watched Mikami for clues to his emotional state, and noted the way that Mikami kept glancing at Misa. It was demure, subservient and saturated with longing. There was something creepy in it, but it needed to be encouraged. Mikami's ultimate decision might end up being based more on emotion than logic. By the end of the massage, L had come up with a plan.

Under the pretense of keeping Misa from needing to visit physical therapists who might, in theory, be the weak point for Misa being tracked by the media back to the secret hideout, L assigned Mikami the task of helping with all the little physical exercises Misa had to do. Her arm and the side of her face weren't completely paralyzed, just mostly, and though the sheer effort of doing so drove her to tears, she could move them a little if she really tried hard. If she kept up a schedule of steady exercises, then she would have a greater chance of eventually regaining a good amount of movement.

Things settled into a little routine for the next week, almost comfortable, an illusion of normalcy. Mikami left on mysterious errands most days for at least a few hours, and he brought home countless documents, videos, and other pieces of evidence to study, often staying up late into the night. Whenever he wasn't working on figuring out the Kira issue or caring directly for Misa he was surprisingly domestic, cooking and cleaning with an obsessive vigor.

Rem made herself useful and discovered a network of hidden cameras Mikami had installed, sometimes even reporting on which videos Mikami was watching when he would lock himself into soundproof rooms. He seemed the most concerned with viewing L and Misa in bed at night. After that, L made sure to stage two cuddling sessions with Misa, always with their faces both completely hidden under the blankets, and enough layers of bunched-up blankets on top of their bodies to make it difficult to discern exactly what was happening. It was ostensibly for privacy but actually to prevent any possibility of L's revulsion being revealed as he pressed his body close to Misa's. The first experience left him shaken, sleepless and wanting to puke for a couple of hours afterwards.

For the second staged session, L decided to leave Mikami some evidence. L had previously masturbated in another room in a camera blind spot, and then he snuck his semen into the bed. After enough under-the-blankets cuddling to seem like foreplay, L humped the air just an inch above Misa's crotch for a minute, stopped, made a moaning noise, and then smeared his semen on the sheets. He knew Mikami did the laundry and would discover it the next morning.

It was filthy and humiliating but it got the job done, and thankfully Misa seemed to get it and she didn't try to turn it into anything more. L had prepared himself beforehand with meditation and with imagining the scenario over and over in his mind, until it was a well-rehearsed act and he felt able to go through it mechanically. He made himself numb, detached, his feelings all pushed down inside his belly in a tight knot. It hurt and it was difficult, but Mikami needed evidence to avert any possibility that he would question the relationship.

After that experience, L decided that there would be no more touching in bed. That one sexual display would have to suffice. There were plenty of married couples that only had sex once a month, and especially with the known possibility of being observed, more hesitancy to indulge in sex would be natural. Besides, Misa was physically damaged and pregnant. Many people had a low frequency of sexual encounters under those conditions as well.

Just when L had decided there would be no more trauma until Mikami made his decision, the routine they had all settled into for a week was broken up by an unexpected arrival. One day Mikami returned from a trip, but though L had heard the noise of the garage door closing and expected Mikami to appear within a couple of minutes, he delayed and did not come upstairs.

Instead, Mikami's voice came over the speaker system from the first-floor garage, saying, "L, you must help me carry the body."

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, one cliffhanger answered and I go right to another one. Who did Mikami kill?

I'll give one hint: unknown to L there are actually two arrivals, one dead, one alive.

This part of the story with Misa, Mikami and L all living together is actually my homage to the Yotsuba arc in canon. The foot massage scene is my homage to the infamous L and Light foot massage in the anime.


	37. Cremation

**CHAPTER 37: Cremation**

At hearing Mikami's words, L's first thought was of Ide, but then he dismissed it. Even if Mikami had decided to go against the orders he'd received about avoiding the staining of Kira's reputation and killing NPA officers, Ide would be the worst choice. As the only NPA officer Mikami had met face-to-face, Ide was almost certainly being watched and trailed heavily. Trying to get information out of him would be either futile or risky, and it would be pure suicide to bring him back to the hideout.

 _For that matter, why is Mikami bringing any body here? Even if Mikami murdered someone the NPA would never watch, the notebook offers easy ways to dispose of bodies and make the deaths look natural. There is no need for anyone with Kira's power to haul around bodies. Every time I think Mikami is possibly Light's equal in intelligence, he does something idiotic, but then every time I think he is stupid he does something smarter than I expect._

By the time L was punching in the code to open the security door to the sealed-off first floor, he was mostly certain whom he would find. It almost had to be William Potts, the only temporary Watari he'd been forced to reveal to Mikami. It was regrettable, William was an entirely innocent victim, but Mikami needed to be given some allowances or he might get too suspicious, and if he unraveled the entire truth and then went into shock at the first Kira being already dead and the second Kira being a betrayer to L's side, it could risk far too many lives around the world.

Still, L felt dirty, filthy, nothing more than a rotten murderer as he waited for the door to open. He was soiled, hopelessly soiled and corrupted, by everything that had happened. It was logical but it wasn't nice. Being forced to join with the criminals, to side with serial killers, it was disgusting. Even as a temporary ruse, it had high consequences.

Just as the door began to slide open and L got a glimpse of one of the cars through the widening crack, with Mikami standing next to it and a dark, slumped form within it, there was suddenly an unholy yowl, rising in pitch and then cutting off. It made the back of his neck prickle, made him feel that anything could happen. L couldn't see the source of the sound, but he supposed it was perhaps hidden by the darkened windows of the car. It wasn't Ryuk. Ryuk was clinging soundlessly to the car roof, grinning like a maniac.

 _That was very high-pitched. Does he have a child tied up? William has no family, almost no friends, and he's a very reclusive hermit. Did someone surprise Mikami and make him panic? It will become complex if we need to deal with a kidnapped prisoner as well._

Mikami was already opening the car door, and then L saw William sprawled across the back seat, his wizened face slack and loose-jawed, obviously dead. He was wearing a long trench coat, and the few tufts of gray hair remaining on his head stuck up in all directions. He looked as if he had not combed or shaved in a couple of days.

 _This is entirely my fault. I can try to justify it by thinking that he was old enough that he would have died soon anyway and that nobody will mourn him, but it is still my fault._

L said, "You did make sure he didn't suffer?"

In a business-like tone, Mikami said, "Of course. I even made him happy in his last few hours. The death note can control emotions as well as actions."

"Why did you bring him here?"

"He was devious once he realized what I was doing; he was trying to find any way to resist. I suppose that I must have left some technical loopholes in what I wrote. He slipped a tracking device into my pocket during the interview. I might not have found it except that he admitted it five minutes later in response to a direct question. I was afraid to send him off and let him die alone in case he might be able to think of another trick, and I did not want to dump a body onto the street when we can cremate him here."

L said, "You have fully scanned him and yourself to be sure there are no more tracking devices?"

"Yes, I have, and the car and everything else as well."

L leaned over, peering into the car, and saw what "everything else" was. Almost hidden by the bulk of William's frame, on the other side of him, there was a cat carrier, and inside it a cat.

 _Is this William's only companion? I didn't know he had a cat._

It was a scruffy-looking, huge cat, a dingy yellow in color. Its face was wide and puffy, and showed evidence of a rough life. There was half an ear missing, along with a few old-looking but rather obvious scars. The cat stared back at L with an expression of pure hatred.

L said, "What is the cat doing here?"

"William Potts made me promise to find a good home for him. The cat is named Jojo. I did not have time to decide how to fulfill the promise, so Jojo will be our pet until we figure out how to ensure his happiness."

The cat's expression softened a bit, and he rubbed the side of his head against the bars at the front of the carrier with expressive thumps. L averted his eyes from the body and reached across tentatively towards Jojo. Jojo's expression became even more inviting, so L slid his fingers just through the bars.

In a flash, he was bitten and snatched his hand back. It hurt, and it was deep. Blood was already running down his hand. L backed up further so as not to soil the body.

Mikami said, "Do you need a doctor?"

L sucked on his bitten fingers, then removed them and said, "Do not worry about this. I deserve it, for not being able to save his life."

"These deaths pain you?"

"Of course they do. Human deaths need to mean something, even when they are for a good cause. If I ever became callous and unfeeling about deaths, then I would not be a suitable partner for Kira. She combines stern judgment with perfect compassion, and I must try to emulate her example as best as I can. This is why we delegate all killing duties to our soldiers. We cannot allow our finer emotions to wear away until they are gone. Kira's rule must remain stable and uniform."

Mikami bowed his head and said, "It is true. The process of experiencing this power, I can feel it changing me, deep inside. My emotions are different than they were. It is exhilarating. Kira is very strong to resist exercising this power directly."

Mikami sighed, looked suspiciously at the cat and then said, "Jojo looks and behaves more like a stray tomcat than a pet, and he has no collar. Do you think William Potts could have tricked us with some rabid feral cat? Perhaps it is a scheme to kill us."

"That would be extremely difficult to set up during the limited time he had to plan. I am sure we can find records of the cat, and of it being vaccinated. However, just to be safe, I will get rabies shots regardless of what we find."

Ryuk laughed and said, "Sending a cat to assassinate you! That would be fascinating."

L leaned over and said, "There is an easy way to test if this is really William's cat."

Holding the latch at the top of the carrier, L carefully pulled it back while keeping his hands out of biting range, then let it loose and darted backwards at once. The door swung open. The cat blinked a few times, looking disbelieving, and then cautiously stuck its head out of the carrier's door, staring and watching.

After spending its sweet time deciding what to do, it slinked out of the carrier, looking bulkier than ever as it was fully revealed. It was muscled, strong, and had obviously been in plenty of fights. It did not look afraid at all, but rather disdainful. Its head swiveled around, one way, and then another, as it sniffed the air.

Jojo turned to look directly at L and gave him a stare of intense hatred.

 _Why does this cat hate me so much? It can't be intelligent enough to know I had anything to do with this. Shouldn't it hate Mikami, the man who was there when its owner died?_

Delicately, Jojo stretched out, sniffing at the corpse's knee. It made a weird half-moan half-meow and the hair on the back of its neck rose. It sniffed at various parts for several long minutes, then climbed up William's form and settled down on a shoulder. Its eyes looked bigger than ever, bulging as it stared down at the lifeless face.

Ryuk's face was suddenly, alarmingly close to L's own and he said, "How are you going to remove the cat and toss the body in the furnace now?"

 _Toss him in the furnace? As if he's a piece of wood._

L said, "I am no good at this, but we'll give him a funeral. He deserves much better than to be dumped and burned."

Mikami said, "If you bring a priest here, I'll need to kill him too."

 _If I get even one additional person involved, Mikami will probably kill that person, regardless of how discreet I am._

L said, "It wouldn't be a priest, it would be a rabbi, but there will be no more deaths for this. We'll manage as well as we can with our available resources, without involving anyone else. Jewish funerals are quite simple, and William didn't care much for tradition anyway, so perhaps we won't be too terrible at it. Technically, we shouldn't cremate him, but I don't think it would have bothered him if he thought his body would be burned. He was quite the opposite of devout."

"What should we do?"

"If we were going to do a good job," L said, "we should undress the body, wash the body, dress it in a white burial shroud, and say some Psalms over it. During the entire process, he should never be placed on his stomach and he should never be unwatched. Then we'll put the body in the furnace and cremate it. However, that will be considerably difficult with only the two of us and, with his weight, he's going to be difficult enough to move at all."

Ryuk laughed and said, "I'm not going to help you even if you bribe me with apples. It would be much more amusing to watch the two of you trying to give a bath to a dead naked three-hundred-pound old guy."

 _I shouldn't let myself become too involved in this, and I shouldn't let it become amusement for Ryuk. Even if I could do all the correct ceremonies with a rabbi here, it wouldn't even be slightly enough to make up for William's murder._

L continued, "We should probably give him a washing that is more symbolic than usual. We can wash his hands and face, put him in a white blanket, and say some Psalms. I'll leave you with him while I get supplies. When I return, please take the cat into another room. There is an animal control leash in the equipment room, the kind with a pole and a grappler. Be gentle."

L felt sick during the entire process of preparing. It was all so wrong, so very wrong. The white blanket he found just didn't seem suitable. His guilt ate at him until he procured a proper Jewish shroud and a prayer shawl, difficult things to get in Tokyo on short notice. L considered doing the entire traditional washing, but he still couldn't bring himself to undress a corpse no matter what tradition called for. It just seemed far too improper, especially with the knowledge that Ryuk would probably be laughing and making comments, and so they instead put on the shroud over William's regular clothing.

L then read things for half an hour that sounded silly and meaningless coming out of his mouth, anxious for it all to end but trying not to do too bad of a job. When they started up the furnace L's mind drifted away as he stared at the flames beginning to consume everything. L couldn't help but imagine his own body there, and it probably would be if he failed. Mikami had fourteen days of life left. The decision would be made, one way or the other.

L hated himself, and he hated every remaining day of Mikami's life.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

This was kind of a heavy chapter, but it'll get a little lighter next chapter before the final showdown.

I also felt like going against fanfic tradition and introducing an OC animal that is not at all cute or friendly. Jojo is scary enough that Mikami is able to imagine him as a rabid stray. Yeah, the thing about one dead arrival and one live arrival had another twist to it, because I like twists and unexpected directions. Nobody guessed in the reviews that the live arrival would be an animal, so I guess I succeeded.

Writing this chapter kind of made me hate Ryuk. Ryuk is often thought of as neutral, but if you really think about it, he's not neutral; he's one of the most evil characters in Death Note. He just seems neutral because he's unwilling to take sides, but he's a freaking god of death who cares nothing for humans and is willing to let thousands of them die just for his amusement. At least Light had principles. Light was insane and evil, but his goals weren't wrong, just his methods.

Also, I wanted to say that I finally found another fic with Misa's sister in it. "Rewrite" by Kat-chan (an LxMisa fic with the premise that Misa met L before she met Light). That fic names Misa's unnamed sister "Mamori Amane" and makes her a lawyer and not an alcoholic, but otherwise has her quite similar to the way I depicted her here: dressing conservatively, more dignified, and with black hair, and not a Kira supporter. The similarities are entirely coincidental unless I read that fic a long time ago and then forgot about it (but I don't think I did).

Anyway, it pleases me when fandom expansions of minor characters create a set of characteristics that kind of align and create a semi-shared set of fanon concepts.


	38. Vault

**CHAPTER 38: Vault**

Mikami didn't waste any time after the funeral, immediately proceeding to the next part of his investigation.

He turned to L as they were walking back upstairs and said, "You must arrange a meeting with as many members of the Amane family as possible. Because I am not able to kill them, I have only been able to obtain second-hand information about you by killing a few minor acquaintances of various members of the Amane family. Yumiko Amane is the most important of them, as it seems that the others only met you once."

Misa slapped the back of Mikami's head. He cringed and said, "I am sorry."

Misa said, "Better be sorry."

L said, "Mikami, I thought you would do this. I have already spoken to Yumiko about you, saying that you are part of a threesome relationship with the two of us. I did not tell her your name or anything relevant, of course."

Mikami said, "I know this. Her family cannot stop gossiping about the scandal."

Mikami paused, and then with a dramatic flourish of his hands he said, "I assume this means Yumiko Amane does not know the secret?"

"Of course not. She only knows the same cover stories that everyone else knows. She will be quite sad after we fake Misa's suicide, but Misa will be comforted and strengthened in her work by knowing that her family still survives, even though they will think she is dead."

Mikami said, "The NPA has my face and name, and I will likely be publicized as Kira after my death. We must hide my identity from Yumiko Amane so that she does not realize this later. We need something better than the costumes I have been using to thwart facial recognition software."

 _He is not going to kill a make-up and prosthetics artist just so that he can be rendered unrecognizable when under heavy scrutiny._

L stopped at the top of the stairs and said, "I have been planning for this. Yumiko is already primed to expect the ridiculous, and it is also true that disguising your face expertly will not necessarily help, unless we can also disguise your voice, as Yumiko will almost certainly listen to the broadcast you will make to call off your secret partner. Our best option is to use a costume with a mask that is extensive enough that it muffles your voice. Come with me, and I'll show you examples."

L led Mikami and Misa to the nearest computer, one sitting on a desk in a living-room-like area. There he brought up a number of pictures he'd saved.

As Mikami examined the pictures and scrolled through them, L said, "We can say you are someone who is only comfortable when costumed, someone who almost never removes it. There are three routes we could take with this. You could be a cosplayer of a fictional character who wears a mask, such as Larva from 'Vampire Princess Miyu'. If you chose any fictional character we will need to spend some time educating you about that character so you don't blow your cover."

L selected a different set of pictures for Mikami to scroll through and said, "Alternatively, we could say you are a sexual fetishist, and you could try wearing any of these costumes. The gimp masks I've selected should completely disguise your face and muffle your voice."

L could hear Mikami's disapproving hissing intake of breath.

 _As I thought, he will probably choose the third option._

L brought up an additional set of costume photos and said, "The other possibility is that we pretend you are a furry, and you wear an animal costume. Furries are a subculture of people who are fans of animal characters that have human characteristics, such as mascots or cartoon animals. There is a sexual component to the fandom, but this is not true for all furries. Furry cosplayers, called fursuiters, often create original or generic characters that are not related to any particular item of fiction, and some of them believe they are animals and refuse to remove the costume."

Mikami sighed and said, "These animal costumes, at least they seem more innocent and dignified. They look like they could appear at any amusement park or sports stadium. As an additional benefit, I believe the more extensive padding in the area of my head will disguise my voice better. You said this is the last of the three options? There are no more possibilities for disguise?"

"Not when we are trying to fool a person instead of a program, no. I have already paid for and reserved seventeen costumes in your size at various Tokyo costume shops. We would only need to pick up whichever one you select, or, if you do not prefer any of the seventeen, then I could special-order any of these others and they would arrive in about twenty-four hours. Yumiko probably cannot arrange a family reunion faster than that, so as long as we decide what you should wear soon there should not be a problem."

Mikami wrung his hands together, looking uncomfortable, then averted his gaze and said, "How... perverted are furries?"

L said, "Some are extremely perverted, some not at all, and every possible variation between those two extremes is also present. You would not need to pretend to any sexual deviancy worse than the threesome relationship."

"How long would I need to educate myself about this subculture?"

"You would need to know only slightly more than I have already told you. It is common for furries to be largely ignorant about their own subculture, and to be shocked when they discover some of the more unsavory elements a year or two later. Furthermore, there are many factions within the subculture that have little contact with each other and that have each developed their own traditions and behaviors."

Mikami said, "Then it would be extremely difficult for me to act out of character, because any behavior pattern would be attributable to a furry? Yumiko Amane would not develop suspicions, or if she did question my story, her research would quell her fears?"

L replied, "Exactly. The most rudimentary knowledge would suffice in your situation. I will guide you to the few things you actually need to know."

What they ended up settling on was a panda costume and a story about Mikami suffering from extreme social phobias for his entire life, phobias that were only quelled when he was in a panda costume, so that his only other option would have been living as a complete shut-in. Although, in the story, Mikami was not Teru Mikami, but rather Masa Shintaro.

The meeting was two days later, and the chosen place was a little-used park far away from the main roads, one that tended to be empty on weekdays. It had wide lawns, picnic areas and playground equipment. It gradually transitioned into thick woods on its edges, woods which contained a series of ornate torii gates framing a pathway. The path obviously led up to a hilltop Shinto shrine that was just visible through the vibrant new growth of spring.

They had left Jojo at home. The cat had not become any friendlier in the meantime, and he spent most of his time either hiding under couches and chairs or trying to find the tallest items of furniture he could, so he could relieve himself there. All of the highest shelves were already occupied by litter boxes, and so far that was mitigating his tendencies, though he sometimes shoved them off so he could go directly on the shelves.

When they arrived in the parking lot, no other cars were there. Yumiko herself was not anywhere to be seen, and neither was anyone else. They could have been dropped off by taxis or public transportation, or they could be late. Still, some of Misa's relatives owned cars, and in any case at least one person should be visible unless all of them were late.

Before they got out of their car, L said, "Stay in character and keep your costume on even if it seems nobody is watching. Yumiko is intelligent and she has shown suspicion in the past. She probably will not like you, but her emotions toward you do not matter."

Mikami said, "I will not fail. However, I am concerned about where everyone might be."

Right where the panda's jaw line met the neck, there was a small grate for Mikami to breathe through, and that, combined with the thickness of the costume, muffled his voice considerably.

L peered towards the distant path disappearing into the woods between the series of torii gates. If anyone had already arrived, they had probably gone to the shrine.

L said, "We will go toward the shrine, however we will not enter it. It would be disrespectful as you would not be able to ritually wash yourself while still wearing your costume."

 _Mikami's belief structure about Kira has a strong underpinning of Shinto. This may cause me to gain more respect in his eyes._

Everyone got out of the car and Mikami took Misa's hand, his body language seeming shy and odd even with the bulky suit to obscure it, as if he were both afraid of touching her and very eager for it.

L put his hands on Mikami's shoulders and said, "Hold still. This will be good and I know you are strong enough for it."

L pulled himself up, clinging to Mikami in piggy-back style, his hands clasped around the panda's thick neck and his knees hitched just over Mikami's hips.

Rem and Ryuk were drifting along behind them.

In that fashion they set off toward the edge of the park where the shrine's path started. Before they were even halfway there, Yumiko became visible, descending the path. Her walk was decidedly unsteady.

 _She's drunk. Well, this does not increase the chance she will reveal my secret. She is very good at keeping secrets or she would not have been able to keep her parents' embezzling hidden from Misa and everyone else for so long. Being drunk may even be helpful for my cause, by convincing Mikami that she could not possibly be deceptive._

Still, L's heart was beating faster even after reassuring himself with his own logic. If his lie did end up falling apart, there was a strong chance that the process would begin soon.

Misa let out a wordless shout.

In return Yumiko waved, in a sloppy, wild motion that looked as if it might make her fall over altogether. She started to run closer but then seemed to think better of her stumbling gait and slowed down to a walk instead. Even walking she was unsteady, but at least she didn't look as if she would at any moment plow her face into the ground. She had a sappy grin plastered across her face and it only became wider as she approached.

As she approached in close proximity, Yumiko announced, "Misa, I already bought an ema at the shrine for your health. I can't go past shrines any longer without doing it. Every time I see one, I get you an ema. You're going to be very blessed from now on."

Ryuk chuckled and said, "If that actually worked, there wouldn't be a single sick person in Japan."

Yumiko turned to Mikami and her entire demeanor changed from happy to annoyed-looking.

Then Yumiko and Mikami became briefly formal, bowing to each other, saying niceties, and making introductions using full names, though both of them had already been told those names previously. During the process Yumiko's voice sounded tired but infused with a kind of fake, overly-polite enthusiasm. It was almost bordering on the sarcastic.

Then Yumiko pointed in the direction of Mikami's head, her finger wavering, and said, "Hey, Ryuga, you look so cute riding on his back like a little kid. You said Masa Shintaro used to date Misa and now he's returned?"

L kissed Mikami, or rather the side of the panda costume's head, and replied, "Yes, they were dating last August. Yumiko, where are the other members of your family?"

Yumiko said, "It was such short notice that not enough of them could get time off at work, and they also said they want to discourage Misa from having so many men, so none of the others will be coming today."

 _Is it because I have not sent any money their way? Is that why they are no longer eager to approve of me? Or have the endless sex scandals finally offended them too much? Or do they truly think their disapproval will drive Mikami away?_

L said, "This is a difficult thing for any family to accept. I am sure they merely need a little more time. We have a bento for each of us in the car. Would you like to eat first, or engage in other activities?"

Yumiko waved a fist in the air and shouted, "I'm hungry."

L slid off of Mikami and said, "Masa, I think that open space over there is suitable. Could you set everything up?"

Mikami trudged off dutifully.

When Mikami had gone only a short distance away, Yumiko said, in a mockingly-serious voice, "You sure can pick them, Misa. Two pandas, is that what you like? All pale with dark eye-circles? A skinny, bony panda-man that looks like death warmed over, and then a fluffy refugee from a kid's carnival."

Yumiko drew close, so close her breath reeked, and jabbed L right in the middle of his chest with a long, unsteady finger.

She looked more serious than ever and said, "Ryuga, you should co-star in one of Misa's movies. When she gets better."

As if that was the funniest thing ever said, Yumiko burst out into laughter that shook her body and continued until she was gasping for breath and could barely breathe. She swayed like a chopped-off tree about to fall. L held her up by one shoulder, and Misa by the other as little spurts of laughter and gasps continued to spill from her mouth. By the time she had recovered, Mikami had finished getting supplies from the car and was nearly to the correct spot, loaded down with the bento boxes tied in cloths, a large blanket to sit on, and a video camera.

Yumiko didn't notice the video camera until they were just starting to kneel down on the blanket. She said nothing but was obviously eyeing it, then slid her gaze to L, looking confused.

She said, "You changed your mind? I thought you were extremely paranoid about being filmed."

"No, my previous actions were merely to avoid the paparazzi. This is only for us, so it will not be an issue."

The video camera was a kind of test for both L and Yumiko. Mikami had rightly decided that if he cornered Yumiko privately and asked her a lot of grilling questions about Misa's husband, it would seem rude and creepy, especially on their first meeting. Furthermore, there was not enough time for him to develop a comfortable acquaintance with her.

Misa could not ask the questions Mikami wanted, because of her disability. So, the task had been left to L. L had been given a list of questions to ask Yumiko privately, with the proceedings to be filmed for Mikami to later examine.

If Yumiko gave answers that threw suspicion on L's story, it would be bad. Likewise, if L balked at asking any of the assigned questions, or if the video ended up being tampered with before Mikami could view it, that would also cast doubt on L's claims.

L had managed to convince Mikami that a normal video camera needed to be used, as Yumiko was observant enough to notice any hidden camera. This was especially true since she knew how L dressed and so the standard trick of wearing a tie-pin camera would be too attention-drawing.

That much should keep her from blurting out any secrets "in private" because Yumiko would know the video wouldn't remain private.

As they ate, Yumiko worked on extracting the life story of "Masa Shintaro" out of Mikami bit by bit. Mikami had a good memory and didn't forget any of the made-up details, but on occasion his delivery was stiff and forced. Yumiko gave him a few looks that could be interpreted as either skeptical or surprised, but she didn't outright challenge anything.

Misa sat in Mikami's lap some of the time, making his voice husky and just on the edge of trembling, while Yumiko switched back and forth between eating and helping Misa to do physical therapy exercises; praising Misa whenever she managed to make the fingers of her mostly-paralyzed hand twitch.

From time to time Mikami left on little errands or short breaks, and L made sure to ask Yumiko the assigned questions in as natural a way as he could manage. It was difficult to keep her focused, but with effort he was always able to get her back to the right topic.

After the meal, Misa indicated that she wanted to look at the shrine with Mikami, so the two of them walked away, holding hands. Yumiko was lying on the blanket, looking as if she were about to fall asleep, when she mumbled something incomprehensible.

L said, "What?"

Laughing, she replied, "I lied."

She was a little too loud. Mikami and Misa could probably still hear her.

L trained the camera directly on her, moving it in her line of vision to remind her that Mikami would see all this later.

Yumiko trailed off into a quiet series of giggling fits. Every time she seemed about to say something, she succumbed to the giggles once again.

She said, "You think you're so smart. I didn't tell any of the others about this, this meeting. I knew Uncle Izumi would try to kick me out again, or, or, he'd make an ass of himself the whole time."

Yumiko propped herself up on an elbow, gazed in her sister's direction, and said, "It's wonderful to see Misa happy. I haven't seen her look like this in so long. You are a good influence, aren't you, Ryuga? I'm sorry I was skeptical before. I was rude, and I apologize for that. I'm always being rude."

Yumiko picked up a mochi ball, the single item leftover from her bento, and examined it with one eye closed, as if she were analyzing it deeply.

She said, "You care about Misa. I know you do. If you loved her for her fame or her beauty, you would have gotten rid of her by now. If you were dangerously jealous, you wouldn't tolerate Masa Shintaro. But... I think... Misa is so happy."

 _Yes, Misa is being a talented actress today, but perhaps she's overdoing it._

Yumiko popped the mochi ball into her mouth, chewed a few times, swallowed, and then said, "Shintaro makes her happy too. If you helped to pick him, then you have good taste. The way she looks at him, I can tell she's in love, and I can imagine the three of you being together for a long time."

Yumiko's eyes were becoming shiny and wet.

She dabbed at them with the corner of a sleeve and said, "I'm sorry to cry in front of you. Your relationship is so beautiful. I've waited for such a long, long time to see Misa smile that way again. I- I thought it was disgusting when I first heard about it... perhaps I was wrong, and Misa does need more than one man to satisfy her. I yell at her and I shouldn't do it."

Without warning, Yumiko lurched forward, snatching at the camera while saying, "That's a little too embarrassing. Let's erase it before they come back."

L was just barely able to scramble out of her reach, scooting backwards on one hand and two feet.

 _This is bad. If the video gets tampered with, Mikami could easily assume the worst._

Yumiko smiled sweetly and said, "Ryuga, I wasn't kidding. I'll be humiliated if Misa sees this!"

L had an instinct Yumiko was going to lunge again, and so he just barely managed to scramble out of reach of her lightning-fast grab a second time, getting to his feet in the process.

L said, "Not _if_ Misa sees this, _when_ Misa sees this. She wants to have good memories of this outing, and I refuse to erase any part of it. What you said was a sincere apology and praise directly from your heart. There is nothing to be upset about. Misa will love it and I fully intend to show it to her."

Yumiko was on her feet and coming after him so fast it was scary. L turned and ran. He had no idea how fast a runner Yumiko was, but since she was drunk and in a skirt, it should be possible to leave her behind.

 _But, even if she can't catch me, she could try blurting out one of my embarrassing secrets to convince me to erase parts of the tape, and that would be even worse._

L left the camera on, but thumbed the mute button. That could be easily excused as an accident during a chaotic chase.

Yumiko was faster than L expected. Perhaps she had partially sobered up during the meal, or maybe she was just that determined. He ended up unable to reach the car, which she blocked off every time he tried to approach, until he tricked her. He lured her away by pretending to leave the video camera unattended on the picnic blanket, and then suddenly rushing past to snatch it and bypass Yumiko.

After the video camera had been safely locked inside the car, he returned to Yumiko, giving her reasons why she should not be ashamed, trying to overwhelm her with logic, and also putting on a pitiful begging act that included sulking, shivering, and actually letting some of his real fear of the situation show on his face. After all, he still had to put on an act of being potentially suicidal if Yumiko let out his secret.

He hadn't quite gotten to the end of the list of assigned questions, but he assumed Mikami would decide it was good enough, especially with the excellent excuse for stopping the interview at that point. Plus, it had been evident near the end that Yumiko was beginning to wonder why there were so many odd questions.

The outing did not last long after Misa and Mikami returned. A few families joined the park, making it seem less private, and some children took an interest in "the panda" and "the girl who looks like Misa Amane" though their parents told them it was a coincidence.

After they left, they dropped Yumiko off at her apartment and helped her upstairs, leaving her with several gifts. By that point, she was in a good mood again, and only seemed slightly drunk.

Mikami was intense in the days after that. The way Mikami watched Misa was almost frightening, and every word he said was infused with a tone as if it held tremendous significance. Perhaps the knowledge that his life was very close to its end was affecting him greatly. Everything was momentous and weighty with him.

L counted down the days in his mind. At the end of the visit with Yumiko, Mikami had twelve days left. Each day after that, L watched and waited, seething inside, impatient. He reminded Mikami a few times that there needed to be some leeway between his broadcast and the end of his life, or there would be risk of a panic happening anyway. The potential end of the world was not something that world leaders tended to be relaxed about.

With nine days of life left, Mikami called L and Misa into a room and announced that he would be making his decision based on one remaining piece of information.

Instead of immediately saying what that needed information was, Mikami went into a long speech with a lot of dramatic hand gestures. His body language was more exaggerated than ever before, his tone of voice laden with fervent purpose.

As soon as L and Misa had settled down on a couch to watch, Mikami started with, "It is your motivation, L, that concerns me. The facts match everything you have told me, but there is no proof of your motivation. The same set of facts could be interpreted in different ways, depending on why you acted as you did, but only you know why."

Mikami cleared his throat and waved his arms around so much that L imagined he was about to start flapping like a bird and take off. Ryuk laughed.

Mikami flashed Ryuk a disapproving look and then said, "L, I cannot read your thoughts and I will not force you to tell them to me. You have judged my personality correctly. I would not kill the husband of someone who is possibly Kira. If Misa Amane is Kira, that action would be unforgivable. I could never atone for it."

 _He has seen this far, far enough to realize that nothing I've told him is incompatible with the facts and yet my motivation is not proven by any of the available information. What test will he propose to prove my loyalty to Kira?_

Mikami continued, "So far, the best evidence of your motivation is that you kept the police from retaining custody of me, and yet when you held me in custody you did not torture me or mistreat me. Your conversations with me were very searching, as if you were trying to decide what to do with me, or as if you were testing my resolve."

Mikami dropped his voice to a dramatic whisper, gradually rising in loudness as he said, "The police would have tortured me if you'd let them keep me. I can hardly expect them to realize I am not to be treated as they would treat a murderer. They think that I am a criminal. I, who hate criminals and those people who destroy! I hate them far more than any police officer. The police are weak and simple, thinking that laws can solve everything, when laws do nothing to dig out the rot that is in so many human hearts."

Ryuk said, "Humans are so interesting!"

Mikami then launched into a very long rant about the evils of the police and the inadequacies of the current justice system that bored Ryuk right out of the room, and continued until Misa made a demanding-sounding noise.

At that, Mikami calmed down and said, "Yes. The matter at hand. I know, L, that Misa Amane is an owner of a death note. What I do not know for a fact is how she came to be an owner of one. I know she is not a controlled victim that you have made obedient to yourself, because if that were true she would be obedient to everyone. She refuses to obey you on numerous occasions and she does not obey me either. If she is not Kira, then she is your willing accomplice. However, I can prove whether she is your false proxy Kira or not with a simple medical test."

 _If this is what my story will depend on, then I have almost nothing to worry about._

Mikami said, "When I killed William Potts, you were genuinely disturbed, even though he was a mere acquaintance. I am sure that you would never risk the mother of your future child in a scheme to fool me. I will have a paternity test performed by someone I control, so I will know you did not interfere to create false results. If the fetus is yours, then every doubt will disappear from my mind, and I will stop my apprentice. The world's governments will no longer be held hostage."

 _There is very little chance that I am not the father. If Misa had any other sexual outlet during that time, I do not think she would have been raping me. Rem is not saying anything in warning. Misa does not look worried, but then she would know not to appear to be worried during a time like this._

Mikami said, "I know that there is a risk of miscarriage, infection or fetal damage after a prenatal paternity test. I will use the best doctor to ensure as much safety as possible. I am sorry to sacrifice the life of someone who would save many lives, but Kira is far more important."

L said, "It is unavoidable, so I am sure Kira will forgive you. We need to act quickly. The lab results could take three or four days and we are running out of time."

Mikami replied, "I know this. I have already prepared a place for you, so that you cannot attempt to influence the outcome."

Mikami opened a locked briefcase he had been keeping on a table behind him, and slid out a large black blindfold. L instinctively shivered at the sight of it, hyper-focused on it so much that he almost didn't see the handcuffs and shackles that followed, until they made metallic noises clicking against each other.

He wanted to vomit, he wanted to run from the room and simply never return. But he held still and endured. He had to.

L said nothing and he tried not to flinch as Mikami bound him and took samples to be tested for DNA from the inside of his cheek. He kept reminding himself it was not like being in the straightjacket. It was better. He was led, blind and guided by Mikami, to the garage, where he was placed into the back seat of one of the cars.

L counted the number of turns he felt to the left and the right, and the number of bridges he heard them driving over. Comparing all this to his mental map didn't help much. There were any number of places he could be.

He was afraid to ask anything about his situation to come, afraid that talking about it would trigger a panic attack. Instead, he said nothing at all, trying to feel dead inside. His thoughts kept focusing on the cat for some odd reason. He imagined Rem and Misa trying to deal with Jojo's antics without any help. In the latest day, they had discovered that Jojo was a cheese lover, and was much friendlier when bribed with it. Unfortunately, he was a lactose-intolerant cheese-lover, so his determination to poop in the highest places he could reach ended up being all the messier.

L had succeeded in making himself almost entirely numb by the time he heard and felt the car come to a stop on what sounded like the gravel of a driveway. Mikami was taking L out then, guiding his steps. L shivered in revulsion at the feeling of Mikami's hand on his shoulder. For some reason, he was having a rising, irrational paranoia that Mikami intended to rape him. This time the conviction was not drug-induced, but it was refusing to be dismissed by logic all the same. He felt dirty for even thinking of it. He was dirty, his body merely a piece of meat that was used for various purposes, and then later bound and stored when not needed.

L was quickly up some steps and then inside, the air different, a door closing somewhere behind him. He was pushed forward, around various corners and down more steps, until his feet stepped on metal. Then Mikami was undoing the handcuffs, the shackles, and at last removing the blindfold.

Mikami stood in front of him, and what they were inside resembled a large bank vault, with a huge, heavy, complicated door visible behind Mikami. L looked immediately for air vents and saw them high up.

Mikami said, "You cannot escape through them."

"I will stay here until you complete the test?"

"Yes. Everything you need is here."

L examined the supplies. There was canned food, can openers, plenty of bottled water, three blankets, a small rolled-up mat, and off in a corner by themselves, two plastic buckets with snap-on lids.

Mikami tapped at a much smaller heavy-looking metal door, hardly big enough for a cat, that had been built into a side wall. He said, "This other door is on a timer, and when it opens it will show you the means of your escape. Until then, you will be here. Screaming cannot be heard from the outside."

 _He means to leave me here for three or four days? Why not put the larger door on a timer instead of this small one?_

The urge to escape immediately, while the big door was open, was almost overpowering. The air was too thick, too warm, difficult to breathe.

L said, "You are completely certain I will survive this?"

Mikami said, "I would not bother with most of what we have already done if you were fated to die soon. However, that reminds me. There is one last service I can perform for you. I do not know if Misa Amane will ever-"

L interrupted with, "That is not useful knowledge. If I knew I was essentially immortal up to a point, I might take risks that are too extreme and end up technically alive but seriously disabled. Also, it would destroy some of the enjoyment of life."

Mikami looked at L for a moment, and then said, "Your logic is impeccable. Very well, I will not tell you."

Mikami kneeled and then bowed so deeply his forehead touched the floor. In that position, he said, "It is likely we will never meet again. If you are my enemy, you will soon be destroyed. If you are my ally, I give you my deepest respect and devotion. Kira has gained a martyr."

Then he got up and left the vault. L could only watch the vault door closing, and listen to the final-sounding snap as it clicked into place. He was trapped, trapped with no way out, not for a time, anyway. He wanted to scream and beat his head against the wall.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I'm sorry if I had too many cosplaying scenes in this fic, but they are all over with now. I think I'm a little bit too attracted to the idea of Mikami-the-unwilling-cosplayer. I love the idea of Mikami thinking, _Do I have to wear that stupid costume_ , and then doing it anyway. If any of you readers know of any other Mikami cosplaying fics or pics, please don't hesitate to mention them to me.

When Mikami was going on about the police and torture, he was actually being truthful. In Japan, there is a heavy emphasis on confessions, and this emphasis causes a problem with torture and other forms of mistreatment. Murder suspects in Japan who do not confess right away have a chance of being tortured by the police. This creates false confessions, as torture has a tendency to do. In some cases people suspected of minor crimes, such as voter fraud, are also tortured.

To a Japanese readership, L's willingness to do mild off-screen torture on Misa (whom he had every reason to strongly suspect of being a mass murderer) is not very bad, because the real police do the same or worse. Just google the search phrase "Japanese police" along with the terms "torture" and "confessions" to get a lot of articles about this problem.

To readerships in many countries where torture is far more strongly frowned upon and is seen as a serious violation of human rights, L's willingness to do torture at all is a big problem (even though we have no idea what L did and, in the manga at least, it is unclear whether any torture was done and it is possible that the torture didn't even happen).

From either viewpoint, torture is probably the most evil thing L ever did (unless you count the L in the "Death Note: Another Note" novel as being canon, in which case he is evil enough to go around killing other detectives and stealing their identities).

As to why only some of Misa's family members have cars, car ownership in Tokyo is about 50% per household. As in an average of one car per every two households. The rate of car ownership per person is obviously much lower than 50%. Which is one reason you don't see characters in cars very often in Death Note, why Light is shown walking, using the subway, and riding buses so much, and why it was such a big deal for Higuchi to own so many cars (it would still be a big deal for an American to own that many cars, just not such a big deal).

Wow, that was a long and complicated author's note. I hope I didn't bore you to death.

 **Edited to add:** CreamyBanana made fan art of L riding Mikami in his panda costume. See my fan fiction dot net profile for a link!


	39. Deviation

**CHAPTER 39: Deviation**

After the large door closed L just stood there staring at it for a while, feeling paralyzed and panicked. He'd noticed something odd about the small door, but he had a bad feeling about it and didn't want to look at it closely. He kept his eyes averted, feeling as if he were rooted in place.

Then he told himself he needed to be doing something, so he carefully went through all the supplies, looking underneath and inside everything he could, and then stacked them up against one wall just as he wanted them. He was disappointed in not finding a portable TV, books, puzzles, or any other way to pass the time. There was no clock of any kind, either, so he'd need to estimate what day it was by how often he ate, drank, slept and used the toilet buckets.

The only additional things he discovered were a toothpaste tube, a toothbrush, a tiny mirror, a small supply of tissue paper, and a letter. These had all been inside the rolled-up sleeping mat.

The letter was just a scrap of paper, saying:

 _**I have placed listening devices inside your vault. If you have any confessions you wish to make, speak them and I will hear. You can still choose a merciful death for yourself.** _

L looked up at the air vents. Probably, the bugs were inside the vents. The vault was almost entirely bare and smooth on the inside. There were almost no other suitable locations for bugs, except maybe inside the light fixtures, but they would have to be installed behind the bulbs in order to not be highly visible.

He then went to investigate the large door. Around the outer edges, it was mostly just a smooth, blank metal surface, encircled by a narrow crack that L could barely slip the edge of a fingernail into. The middle portion of the door had an extremely thick glass panel through which he could see numerous cylinders, gears and shafts, all interlocking in a complex pattern. A label affixed to the other side of the glass announced it was bulletproof. After eyeing the glass from several angles, he was sure it was thicker than the widest part of his arm.

On the right side of the door, at about elbow-height, there was a messy-looking weld, as if something had been cut off and then the hole sealed back up. The missing part was almost certainly a safety handle, a feature that would normally prevent any person from being locked inside.

The next thing to investigate was the little door, the one that could not possibly be an exit itself. It looked like the door to an average small safe, except for one feature. In the very center there was a little rounded glass bulge that looked suspiciously like the front door peepholes used for viewing a visitor before deciding to open a door.

The bad feeling in his stomach increased as he approached, intending to peer through it. Instead of looking through the peephole, he knelt there for a little while, resting his outstretched fingertips on the coolness of the metal wall. There was no rush, no need to worry. Whatever happened, it was out of his hands. Nothing he could do any longer would possibly influence the outcome.

When he felt ready he bent down and looked, and immediately wished he hadn't. His mind was already putting together scenarios. He could feel his fingernails digging into his palms, and he tried to concentrate on the better possibilities instead of... those other... uses.

The inside of the safe was lit up by an inner light fixture, showing several objects. The nearest was a large jar, entirely filled with glass shards. Then there was a collection of scalpels of various shapes and sizes, a large knife, and a hammer. Just barely visible, poking out from behind the jar, was part of something plastic, something that was mostly obscured from view. There was also a white envelope. It was possible that a few additional things were also concealed behind the jar, but if so they were small.

He didn't want to imagine being forced to slice himself open, to fill the wounds with glass, and to break his bones with the hammer.

It was possible that the large door had been rigged so that the knife or the scalpels, if jammed into the right place in the crack around the door, might open it. It was possible, though very unlikely, that the hammer could break through the thick bulletproof glass and allow him to then access the remaining portion of the cut-off safety latch or otherwise operate the door to open it. In that case, then hopefully the plastic thing was safety goggles, or otherwise he'd need to wrap his head in the sleeping mat to protect his eyes during the process of hammering the glass.

However, his mind kept returning to ever more creative scenarios involving far more sinister uses for the scalpels, the knife, and the hammer, and there was no way that the jar filled with shards of broken glass was anything other than a threat.

And the envelope... that was most likely instructions, but it could also be a test. If it held a piece of the notebook... then Mikami had perhaps rigged the vault so there would be no way to escape without killing a person, committing a murder just to be let out. Mikami might be too suspicious about the fact that "Kira" and "Kira's husband" had yet to kill a single person in front of him.

No, Mikami obviously wasn't relying only on the paternity test, as he'd claimed. He was also hoping to use scare tactics, and perhaps other things as well. There might be additional hidden tests for Rem or Misa, while they were by themselves and potentially more vulnerable.

L was glad that he'd taken some time to whisper warnings directly into Misa's ears late at night, telling her to never let her guard down or break character for even a moment until Mikami was certainly dead, telling her that Mikami might try to create a trick that seemed to be the real conclusion, a trick for the purpose of observing her behavior after she thought the crisis was past.

Everything depended on Misa's abilities and determination. If anything went wrong and Mikami decided the story was fraudulent, L would spend his last days trapped in the vault, dying slowly, torturing himself.

L turned his mind back to that envelope, and to the possibility that Mikami might mean for him to commit a murder in order to escape. All he needed was to know the address of where he was staying, and then he could control a person to go to that address and open the vault there. Even if the person did not have any expertise in vault-opening, L could write that they were determined enough to refuse to give up until the vault had been opened, which would cause that person to recruit or pay whomever they needed to in order to get the vault open.

If Mikami had intended that course of action, there was an obvious way to avoid it. L knew he could not be fated to die anytime soon, or Mikami would have done things differently, just as he had said. Even with a very sparing use of the water, death by thirst would occur in much less than a month, something that would have been apparent in his lifespan and certainly would have affected Mikami's actions.

L knew that he must be fated to either escape the vault alive or to be killed by having his name written, a death that would not show in his lifespan. Those were the only two possibilities. Assuming that Mikami was not going to kill him, then resisting the urge to murder in order to be set free would certainly result in an escape or a rescue before death.

A close brush with death that way would not incur a risk of acquiring a disability or a permanent impairment, because the death L was facing was from dehydration. Being trapped with limited supplies, dehydration would set in long before any other cause could. And dehydration was something that, if you were not killed by it, did not have any long-term effects.

 _Although, if there is a piece of paper from the notebook in that envelope, then there is a possibility that I could become so unhinged that I decide to write my own name. No, I must be determined. I can use this knowledge of fate to my advantage. If I refuse to kill myself or anyone else, I will get out of here. As long as Misa does not make a mistake to cause my death, I will escape._

Examining the logic of his own thoughts cheered him only slightly. They might be logically satisfying, but they were not emotionally satisfying. His conclusions felt hollow, forced, inadequate. He realized, from the posture he was standing in, that he was trying to shrink away from the small door, the door that held his future one way or another.

Vivid images kept leaping into his mind.

Determined to rest, he arranged the sleeping mat in the center of the vault, lay down, and attempted to go to sleep. He couldn't quite get to sleep, but he often got to the edge of it, twisting on the thin, inadequate mat, blinking his eyes open from time to time and feeling as if the walls were too close, the lights too bright. There was no way to turn off the lights.

He continually felt a little bit hot, a little bit sick, and soon he was sweating. He stared at the wall for a long time, then closed his eyes and tried again. It only got worse. He didn't feel any hotter, but he was sweating more, and his breathing felt constricted.

After what seemed like many hours, but probably wasn't because he hadn't needed to urinate even once, he gave up on sleeping and went through the cans of food, trying to decide what to eat. There wasn't anything nasty, like natto, but it was all rather bland, a limited selection. Most of the cans were herring wrapped in kelp, beets, beans, mushrooms, or pickled plums. He found a few cans of sweeter fruits and set them aside. There were also three cans of coffee. He arranged those items as his special stash in a corner by themselves and resolved to wait until he felt as if he truly needed some comfort.

His first meal left a sour taste in his mouth and settled into his stomach as if he'd eaten a brick. He kept burping and tasting the herring, and just when he thought it couldn't get any worse, a sudden wave of nausea hit him so hard that he was barely able to make it to one of the plastic buckets in time to vomit into it.

The plastic lid helped to contain the smell, but did not eliminate it. Once he started using the second plastic bucket as a toilet, that smell bothered him as well, both stenches permeating the vault and contributing to further problems with vomiting.

He left the herring and pickled plums entirely alone, but even with the worst offenders missing from his diet, approximately ever other meal would still come back up his throat.

Waiting, without a clock, was extremely difficult. There was almost nothing to distract his mind. It felt like waiting for his own death.

L's hands itched to access a computer. He wanted to receive evidence, make deductions, and give orders, not to be trapped and helpless. His hands needed to be busy; his mind needed more to work on, some new information at least. He took to stacking and rearranging the items that were in the vault with him, forming patterns, lining everything up again and again. It did not even come close to filling up the time he needed filled.

His life was a numbing series of routines. He spent a great deal of time crouched near the big door, his head resting against the bulletproof glass as he allowed his eyes to trace the intricate machinery and his brain to decipher exactly what needed to be done to open the door, if he could just get through the layer of bulletproof glass.

He didn't have expertise in everything, and safe-cracking was a specialized field. Still, with the mechanism partly visible, he was almost sure how he could cause the large door to open, if only he could get at its inner workings. The problem was that he wasn't sure he could do it without losing a finger. He wished very much that Mikami had left him some pliers, but if he could get through the glass, perhaps some improvised tools would help.

L counted the cans of food he'd eaten, kept track of how often he had to use the toilet bucket, and examined the number of water bottles he emptied. Trying to estimate the amount of time he'd been trapped was one of his most frequent activities.

Sometimes he even counted numbers in his thoughts, tapping a fingernail against the floor with each number, reaching into the thousands before starting over again.

His hands and feet were nervous. He knew he was developing twitches, moving too frequently and erratically. Sometimes he took up pacing to relieve the tension, but he tried to limit it so he wouldn't exhaust himself and eat through the food too quickly. He watched his food supplies get low, and the water. He watched both plastic buckets gradually fill with waste products and vomit. He knew it had to be soon, it had to be, but the small door still didn't open.

He forced himself to lay down more often to conserve his energy, but he didn't sleep much. Sometimes he stared at the small door until it felt like his mind was being pulled apart, willing it to open.

Finally, it was a tiny click that alerted him, bringing him out of a restless, shallow sleep. L almost thought that it had to be a dream, but the small door did look as if it might be open a crack.

L crawled over to it, breathing quickly, his hands shaking. He was afraid to touch it, afraid that he might accidentally push it closed and cause it to lock again. He pressed one hand against the wall to steady it, and then slid it toward the door slowly, easing it until his fingernail was firmly in the crack and then pulling the door open, swinging it wide.

He took out everything: the scalpels, the knife, the hammer, the jar full of broken glass, the envelope, and a small flat plastic object with buttons. There was nothing else. His hands still trembled a little, and his clumsiness caused him to cut himself just a bit on the scalpels. Still, he had no urge to start torturing himself, and that was a good sign.

L opened the envelope to find another note inside it. The note simply said, "I have made a deviation from the plan. I am certain you will figure it out."

 _Deviation? The most logical deviation for him to take would be slightly risky and very selfish. Is that what he did? Or is it something else? He cannot tell me directly, because it is impossible for him to betray secrets relating to the death note or anything new that he has learned recently. He is counting on me to guess correctly._

L turned his attention to the plastic object. All the buttons were labeled with numbers, except for two large buttons at one end, one green and the other red.

L tried pressing the green button and there was a kind of slick grinding noise as the large door opened. He stared at the opening, in shock, almost unable to believe it, before suddenly running to the door, pushing it fully open, and finding himself in a large room like a den or a study, with muted light, expensive furniture, and dark, rich colors everywhere. His heart felt like it was bursting with relief, and the air was so much clearer that it almost made him dizzy to breathe it.

A computer was sitting on a desk in a corner, and he went to it immediately. He crouched in the stuffed leather chair in front of it and turned it on.

To himself, he muttered, "Now, let's see what you've been doing during my absence, Mikami."

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

I did something in this chapter that I like to do: showing L failing to predict the actions of others, while still displaying L-like intelligence. L didn't manage to predict what Mikami would do, though now he has an idea because Mikami left him that note. I like imperfect geniuses, and I think of canon L as an imperfect genius.

Canon L is terribly smart and everything he does is based on logic, but he makes mistakes and he sometimes has incorrect predictions. Unlike Near, who made a lot of asspull deductions that coincidentally turned out to be correct (especially in the anime, less so in the manga, but Near's contrived coincidences are still an issue there). Realistically, if a smart person always predicts everything correctly, they're either lucky or psychic. Thus, an always-correct smart person eventually becomes a boring fictional character to me, because I stop thinking of it as realistic.

This is one reason why I think that L's canon death (even though it was problematic in a number of ways that I've already ranted about elsewhere) was perhaps the best fate for L. If the canon author had been planning to give Near's asspull deductions to L if L had lived, then L's death avoided the scenario of L acting increasingly stupid and out of character but not paying for it with realistic consequences. I would have liked to see L win at the end in the canon series, but not at the cost of gaining an OOC unrealistic version of L.


	40. Panic

**CHAPTER 40: Panic**

The first thing L checked on the computer was the date and time. Mikami had 5 days, 4 hours and 32 minutes of life left. The second thing he checked was the news. If Mikami had already appeared on television to call off his accomplice, evidence of that situation would be easily findable, even if the NPA tried to conceal the true purpose of the broadcast.

There was nothing like that in the news. Mikami was still on the loose, which lent credence to L's theory of what he must have meant by a "deviation" from the plan.

Mikami was selfish. Selfish, but understandable. He'd left a mess behind, though, and Deputy-Director Kitamura or the others in the know at the NPA might panic and do something stupid if that mess wasn't cleaned up right away.

 _Oh, Mikami, you wanted to have your fun, didn't you? You don't care if I must clean up your mess. Where are you now?_

During the entire time that L had been typing, he had felt that the keyboard wasn't level, so he flipped it over and found an envelope taped to the bottom. He opened it, seeing nothing inside except money. He went through it, carefully looking to see if any of it concealed clues, but there weren't any.

 _He wants to be sure I have the resources to exit this place easily._

 _I will need to contact Kitamura to stop any panic from happening, but the NPA now believes L is under the control of Kira. Should I contact them as Eraldo Coil? No, Coil would have no plausible reason for knowing as much as I know. I have no choice except to contact them as L._

 _If I say the right things to the NPA, I can avoid giving them any harmful information or anything that might contradict my story for Mikami, in case he is still planning to test me by getting information from the NPA. L can play the role of Mikami's messenger, controlled and dying, but dependable for that very reason. First, though, I need proof that I'm correct. It should be hidden somewhere. Here, or in the safe house where I lived with Mikami? I'll search this place first, just to avoid wasting time by returning later._

Suddenly, a sound made L twist in his chair to look behind him. A door at the far end of the room was opening. L watched as a man stuck his head in and said, "Haruhi, the computer is on."

 _Is he controlled?_

A woman's voice said, "I haven't been in the basement all week, it isn't my fault."

L waved.

The man replied, "I haven't either. Even if I had left it on, it should have shut itself off by now."

 _I'm sitting right here. He doesn't seem to see me._

L pocketed the money, jumped from his chair and approached slowly. The man's eyes did not focus on him and before L could get close, the man and the woman came into the room. They were both wearing rubber gloves and carrying cleaning supplies. The man went into the vault, put down his supplies, and began carrying out as much of L's garbage as his arms could carry. The woman started spraying down the vault door with some kind of cleaner and wiping it vigorously.

L followed the man up some stairs, through a nice living room, and then out a back door where he put everything from his arms into trash or recycling bins. L experimentally poked the man in the side as he was doing so, and the man merely swatted, as if he'd felt a bug.

 _Mikami certainly controlled these people, probably to create a normal facade to keep others away while I was imprisoned and to destroy all fingerprints and other traces of me after I leave. I am sure they are unable to contact the authorities about anything, and they perhaps ignore other people entirely, or at least they ignore other people who are on their property. I will search a little, but this means it is unlikely that it is hidden here._

L went back inside and looked in all the usual hiding places: underneath mattresses, behind and under toilets and sinks, inside light fixtures and air vents, in cupboards and in drawers. He was efficient, but not as good as Wedy and he didn't dare to call in any help. Mikami might still be monitoring things and ready to kill any such helpers. Nothing turned up.

It was depressing to think how many completely innocent people Mikami had murdered for small reasons. L was sure that the workers who had originally built and installed the vault must have been killed as well.

L didn't feel it was a good idea to leave a taxi record from this address that could possibly be accessed by Mikami and lead to a dead taxi driver, and he supposed that there was no chance that Haruhi and her husband would ever report their car as stolen, so as soon as he'd given up his search he lifted the keys and stole their car.

When he arrived at the safe-house where he'd lived with Mikami he half-expected to see Misa waiting to greet him but instead there was only Jojo, who came running at the sound of the car's motor turning off, stopped in the exact middle of the garage, then let out a plaintive yowl, flopped heavily onto his back and batted all four paws in the air. It would have been an insanely cute maneuver for a kitten, but Jojo was too large and old-looking for it to be anything other than a combination of cute and weird.

L ignored Jojo. He didn't have time, and without cheese in hand, there was no telling when a friendly overture would suddenly turn into a bite or scratch.

Bowls of catfood and water were in most of the rooms where L stopped, a plentiful supply for the gap in Jojo's care. But the litter boxes stank from not being changed.

Misa was not there. A phone call to her doctors revealed that she was back at the same hospital, and that the paternity test "Hideki Ryuga" had supposedly ordered for her had been positive.

Although L had fully expected the child was his all along, he still felt a shock running through his body at the news. It was another piece of the reality of his impending fatherhood, falling into place. It was only a matter of time, growing closer moment by moment, and it was immensely frightening to think of it.

She was also making suicide threats, and was being kept under 24-hour surveillance to be sure she couldn't act on those threats. That was according to plan, though, since Mikami had been told the attempts were all part of a lead-up to eventually faking Misa's death by suicide.

L decided not to visit Misa in the hospital while Mikami still lived, not unless it turned out she was likely to have a piece of the puzzle, the evidence he was searching for.

After the call ended, he searched the entire safe house in the same cursory manner, but found nothing. Frustrated and angry, feeling the filth caked on him and also being hungry and trying to decide what to do next, or whether he had time for anything other than searching, L almost sank to the floor to start sobbing. The chance that Kitamura might panic and tell governments that they were being held hostage increased with every passing hour.

Instead of giving in to his frustration, he went straight to the refrigerator to check for sweets.

And then he wanted to kick himself for not thinking of first looking in the one place where Jojo couldn't mess anything up.

There was a delicious-looking cake with pink frosting, enclosed in a plastic container with a clear lid. And, balanced on that lid, a piece of paper with a haiku in Mikami's handwriting:

 _  
**An ancient pond**   
_

_  
**A frog jumps in**   
_

_  
**The splash of water**   
_

It was the most famous poem written by Japan's most famous poet.

Suddenly, L remembered something he'd seen in another room. He rushed up stairs and into that room. Jojo followed him at a fast run. There were several bookshelves from floor to ceiling, completely stuffed with books. His eyes wandered to the top shelf of where he thought he'd remembered seeing it.

And then he saw the book, titled "Basho's Road."

His heart was beating fast as he pushed up a chair and climbed it, stretching to grab the book.

It wouldn't budge, no matter how he pulled on it.

He removed the other books from the shelf, throwing them to the floor, Jojo leaping aside and hissing at each of them.

The single book remained by itself, and now he could see a thin line of dried glue at the bottom of it. Mikami had obviously been afraid that Jojo might push it off the shelf, and this also helped draw attention to it in case the haiku clue had somehow been missed.

L hit the side of the book as hard as he could, and with a crack it came loose, peeling off a thin line of the wooden veneer, stuck to its bottom.

L's hands were shaking as he broke the remaining strip of wood off the bottom well enough to open the book. As soon as he opened it, a folded piece of notebook paper fell down from between its pages. L snatched it out of the air before Jojo's jump could connect with it.

It said:

 _  
**Taro Yamada, heart failure**   
_

_  
**Destroys all letters and papers in his possession, including any that he hid or sent away. Does not tell what he has been doing, keeping all his secrets to himself. Dies the moment he has completed these tasks.**   
_

L let out an angry shout and dropped the paper. Jojo pounced on it as it fluttered down.

 _As I thought, there is no need for a broadcast if he kills his accomplice instead. Mikami wants to enjoy his last few days instead of spending them in police custody. How selfish._

L threw a book at Jojo, missing him but causing him to drop the paper. L retrieved and pocketed it. It was possible it would be needed later. He went to the nearest computer and did research. With what Mikami had written, there shouldn't be any evidence left, but all the same he wanted to see the death.

Within a few minutes of investigating, L found three deaths of people with that name within the past few days, and only one of those was heart failure.

He stared at the screen. It seemed almost unreal for everything to have ended so easily and abruptly, after so much struggling.

 _This proves it, then, at least as much as it can be proven. Mikami's accomplice is dead. It is unlikely that Mikami has any additional tricks or a second accomplice. Still, Mikami himself is loose, and I should be cautious until he is dead, just as I instructed Misa to remain cautious._

L coaxed Jojo into a cat carrier by using cheese as a bait, then drove to the densest part of Tokyo, wiping away all his fingerprints from the stolen car and leaving it in a parking garage. He paid with cash for four weeks of it occupying that space before it would get towed.

He then walked several blocks away, got a taxi, and took that to another of his safe houses. He knew the NPA was likely to be fiercely monitoring every single hotel in the city, and he didn't care for his face to be caught on video. However innocent it was likely to be, everything would be under extra scrutiny and allowing his paranoia free rein made him feel better.

This other safe house was smaller, in a less affluent section of Tokyo, and it made him feel safe and enclosed, with a high wooden fence around its tiny yard full of tall trees, a shaded space choked with greenery protecting him from the outside world. All the green was the bright, pale green of early spring. It felt like it could be a new beginning.

He let Jojo loose inside the house, barely snatching his hand back in time to avoid an angry swipe. Then he raided the stash of supplies for another of his untraceable cellphones, putting it on a setting that would switch from one of his own towers to another every 20 seconds, leaving even less chance that his signal could be traced.

When he was ready, he locked himself in a room away from Jojo, curled up in a leather window-seat overlooking the yard, and called the NPA, giving the codes that identified him as L until he was allowed to speak directly to Kitamura. L stared at the soft green buds on the branches just outside the window, creating a chaotic screen of tangled brown and green. He could barely see the street through it.

As soon as Kitamura was on the phone, L said, "This is L. I am calling to report that Teru Mikami will not be making a broadcast. He has killed his accomplice instead, and the world's governments are no longer held hostage. I am sure you will find Mikami's dead body on or shortly after Tuesday, when he is scheduled to die."

L could hear cheering in the background.

 _Kitamura must have me on speakerphone._

Kitamura said, "L, can we trust this? I was sure Mikami would make a broadcast. How can we know you are telling the truth?"

"Whether I am controlled or not, this is what Mikami wishes you to know, and there is no reason for me to lie in either situation. Doesn't this action make sense for a dying man? If Mikami had made his broadcast instead, there is no way he could have prevented you from capturing him immediately afterwards and making his last few days unpleasant, or at least boring since he is unable to be tortured. This way, he can indulge himself."

L heard someone in the background say, "That must be true, director. It has to be over."

There was more cheering along with several shouts for quiet.

In a calmer, slightly gentle voice, Kitamura said, "L, we cannot know what mischief Mikami might have controlled you into performing. I trust that the world's governments are no longer hostages, but you still might be forced to help Kira. The murders will start again as soon as the original Kira is safely hidden, won't they? You are our only link to that knowledge. For your own good and for the case, please turn yourself in and hand over all evidence in your possession."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Kitamura. There is a high chance I am controlled and thus I could die at any moment. I wish to spend my remaining time alive with my family."

Kitamura said, "You are controlled, then, or you would at least give us the evidence."

L cut off the connection. He stared at the phone, his entire body feeling numb.

 _This is truly the death of L. After this, no law enforcement agency can ever trust L again. There will still be detective work for me under other aliases, but "L" is an unusable alias from now on._

It made him angry, to think that the Kiras had finally destroyed L after all. They had won in a way. Or maybe everyone had lost. Yes, that was it. Nobody got what they wanted, and most of them ended up dead.

He felt an ache for Matsuda. He wanted that brave, bumbling idiot to walk into the room, hand him some coffee, and say something stupid. Not in the creepy way that the hallucination-Matsuda had done, but in a way that was perfectly normal and fine, like waking up from a nightmare and suddenly realizing that none of the horrible things had actually happened.

L rested his forehead against the window, allowing his eyes to get lost in the rampant spring growth. He suddenly didn't feel safe. He knew he couldn't have been traced. And yet... and yet...

He jumped up, went through the place and wiped all surfaces he might have left fingerprints on, managed to get Jojo back into the cat carrier with no cheese and only a few scratches, and took one of the cars and left.

He drove in circles in Tokyo for hours, too paranoid to leave the city as all ways out were surely being watched, too frightened to check into any hotel, and feeling unsure about his own safe houses. There were three more of them inside the city, but he dreaded the idea that the feeling of not being safe might overwhelm him in those places too, leaving him with fewer options. Going back to the headquarters he'd shared with Wedy, Watari and Matt was not an option either, not if there were even the slightest chance of being followed or found somehow by Mikami. There were things in that place that might be suspicious if Mikami ever saw them.

As night fell he continued driving, going around and around, getting pulled in by a feeling of being hypnotized by the steady pulse of streetlights going past him in the darkness. He was filthy, and still hungry, but he couldn't seem to pull himself out of his mental state. It was like a quicksand pulling him further and further in.

Finally, Jojo started yowling and refused to stop. L couldn't stand it any longer. He looked up a pet boarding facility that was still open, drove there and boarded Jojo under an assumed name, giving them plenty of money and receiving assurances that the cat would be cared for very well.

L still felt pursued and drove in circles, even getting lost a few times. His eyelids felt heavy. He felt as if the filth was coming alive, crawling on his skin, but he didn't dare stop anywhere that had washing facilities. He kept checking his rearview mirror, surprised when he didn't see any indications of being followed, even though all logic said he shouldn't be followed. He was beyond logic, and he knew it.

Around midnight, he began feeling the car itself was unsafe and abandoned it. Walking was certainly an improvement, but he was driven onwards, overwhelmed with uneasiness every time he tried to stop or rest. The paper proving Mikami's action felt dangerous to be carrying. He couldn't destroy it; he might need to produce it as evidence someday at Misa's trial. At last L stopped at an all-night mailing facility and placed that paper in an envelope, mailing it to a secret address that Watari would check at some point in the future, once Watari was sure it was safe. Watari was wary, but he'd be out of hiding and in his normal habits exactly 23 days after Mikami's death, when there was no chance of a controlled L trying to bring harm to him.

Getting rid of that thing helped bleed away some of the paranoia, but there was plenty remaining. L felt positively pursued and walked the streets in complex patterns, using every trick he knew that would detect or throw off a follower, and yet there was nothing. Nobody was after him. He still couldn't get rid of the irrational conviction that he wasn't safe, that he was somehow invisibly pursued. He knew he looked like a lunatic, filthy and wild-eyed and constantly checking over his shoulder.

He kept walking until his feet were sore, and then, just as the first faint light of pre-dawn began brushing the horizon, he saw an expressway and knew what he would find underneath. After a small hesitation he altered his path, both relieved and frightened when he glimpsed in the distance the boxy blue-tarp shapes of a homeless settlement underneath the bridge-like curve of the expressway, clustered near the concrete support pillars.

Mindful of the danger of being robbed, he made sure nobody was observing him, crept into some bushes, and buried half of his remaining cash.

Then he continued and, feeling very odd, very removed from the logic that usually drove his actions, stopped outside the nearest makeshift tent of blue tarps and called out for the owner, knocking on a pole.

There was a rustling sound from within, and finally a woman's voice saying, "Go away!"

L moved a few tents over and tried the process again. This time a man immediately stuck his head out. He was perhaps in his forties and looked surprisingly neat and clean, except for his glasses with one lens cracked, and his skin which seemed to be sunburned.

The man said, "Yes?"

 _What am I doing? I'm rich._

But L knew he couldn't go back to any normal place soon. A terrifying fear was waiting to suffocate him. He had to escape it; he could sense it lurking for him, ready to pounce as soon as he tried to go back.

L held out enough money to pay for a decent hotel suite for a week, or an apartment for a month, and said, "Please, let me buy this tent. I need to stay here."

The man looked at L, his gaze ranging up and down L's body with a look that clearly stated, "You are crazy."

The man said nothing but merely grabbed L's shirt by the front of it and pulled him through a flap into the dimly-lit interior of the tent.

L tensed, ready to fight, but the man let him go immediately.

 _I am crazy._

There were blankets in two piles on the floor. The man motioned to one pile and L crouched on it. L's companion bowed and then took the money and counted through it several times. When he had finished, he said, "My name is Jiro Morita. Do you need me to leave now?"

 _He's hoping there might be more money if he stays. He's useful, then, and probably not very dangerous or he would have attacked me already to get the rest of the money. Though, he might be waiting until I sleep._

L said, "Is there food and water here?"

"No."

"Then please get some. I will pay you an additional amount. You may call me Sato."

Jiro gave a short, quick bow and exited. L crouched where he was, feeling overwhelmed by the irrationality of it all. It was risky; it was stupid. There was no compelling reason why a hotel or one of the remaining safe houses wouldn't be a better idea. And yet, he felt as if he had outrun his paranoia in this small blue tent, left the crushing weight behind.

 _Perhaps I can stay here the last few days until Mikami dies. If I send Jiro for everything I need, nobody would ever see me. Jojo will be fine for the next two weeks. I have no responsibilities._

There was something immensely soothing about the four blue walls, filtering the light of the sunrise that was just starting. L knew it was an insane perception but he wanted to linger for a very long time. There would be no pressures in this place. Just sit, eat, sleep, and wait. It would be an easy life.

In a surprisingly short amount of time, Jiro was back with two styrofoam bowls full of hot noodles and broth, and two bottles of water.

As L ate, Jiro said, "Sato, there is a restaurant called 'Ginto' two blocks to the west that lets us use the bathroom as long as we are clean. You are not clean. I suggest you first visit the bath house that is across the street from it. They open in one hour. If you shit on the ground around here, the others will beat you up. Urine is somewhat acceptable as long as you are very discreet about not being seen peeing and you bury it. There is a trowel tucked barely underneath the southwest corner of the pile of pallets under the third span."

Jiro stopped talking and began gulping down his noodles at a fast rate. His neck was thin, the ropy muscles on it standing out strangely each time he swallowed, making him seem bird-like. His skin looked dry and rough. He had on a suit and tie, though, and he didn't look much different than any businessman you would see on the streets of Tokyo. He was doing a decent imitation of not being homeless, probably hoping to find a job soon. Tokyo's homeless population was among the cleanest and most polite in the world. But that did not make the present situation safe.

L watched Jiro, suspicious, wary, and yet paradoxically feeling as if no place in the world were safer. It was a web of conflicting thoughts and impulses, but still far better to deal with than the crushing paranoia, the not-safe feeling that came from thinking of hotels, cars and the safe houses.

Jiro finished his noodles first, then rummaged around in some bags in one corner, pulled out a cigarette, and said, "Sato, during the day most of us go to an internet cafe, three blocks to the west. Look for the bright red building. It's warm and there are job advertisements."

"Thank you. I will probably stay here."

Jiro hesitated at that, looked worried, looked as if he were going to ask a question, but instead he exited out the flap of the tent.

L finished eating and left a little while later, determined to seek out the bath house and stay ahead of the needs of his bowels. As L exited the little settlement of tents he saw Jiro was leaning against one of the pillars, smoking along with a much younger man and a middle-aged woman. All three stared at him.

At the bath house, there was already a line of customers waiting for it to open, some talking a little among themselves but most silent. L waited with the rest and nobody tried to talk to him or paid him much attention. Once inside, he paid the locker room attendant extra to send his clothing to be laundered, even though it gave him a paranoid fantasy of his clothing encountering a mix-up and never being seen again, leaving him naked and helpless.

Being naked around many strangers was somewhat unnerving, but L endured it. The environment of the bath house was also strangely comforting at the same time. It felt very anonymous, very removed from the main pulse of life in the city.

When he scrubbed himself clean under the squat showers, he made sure he was on the end of the row, where he at least didn't have to be between two other men. When he went to the hot soaking pool, he likewise stayed in a corner, refusing to look at anyone else. The hot water drew out his soreness and exhaustion, leaving him in a dream-like mood. Time flowed slowly, and nothing seemed quite real.

When he returned to the locker room a couple hours later, his clothing was waiting for him, clean and dry and smelling wonderful. They had even made an effort to clean his shoes, but it had only gotten the worst of the mud off.

L spent most of his remaining time in Jiro's tent. He stared at the wall. He brought in a bunch of smooth pebbles so he could distract himself by stacking them and arranging them into patterns. Jiro was mostly gone during the days, claiming to be at the internet cafe, but returning with hot meals and bottled water at regular intervals, getting payments each time that were far more than what the food was actually worth.

At night, they each slept in a pile of blankets. It was somewhat chilly and cramped but not terrible. The other life that L had once led seemed like something that had happened years ago, instead of mere days.

Jiro rarely spoke. He seemed reluctant to ask questions, but he stared quite a lot, and his facial expression plainly showed that he thought he was dealing with a crazy person. On the second day, Jiro showed up with new glasses, no longer having the pair of glasses with the one cracked lens.

L got caught up in the stillness and monotony and so he almost missed the right time. His thoughts had become very detached from the past, shying away from it, avoidant. He was crouched in the tent as usual, hands clasped around his legs, his chin resting between his knees, in a dreamy state that felt close to sleep, when he heard a snatch of conversation from outside, mentioning "today is Tuesday" among other things.

His head snapped up, and instantly he was going over his memory of sun-cycles since he'd arrived, concluding that the people conversing outside were correct. Mikami was dead, or was about to die. L needed to know the time and was immediately pulling on his shoes and then stumbling out into the bright sunlight, blinking. From the sun's position he guessed that Mikami had already been dead for some hours, and a quick glance at the nearest watch, on the wrist of a young man smoking with Jiro, confirmed it.

 _Can I go back to my life now? Will the paranoia be gone? No, I need to be sure there is a body first. I must know._

Jiro took out his cigarette, blew a stream of smoke, and said, "Sato, what's wrong?"

L replied, "I need to go to the internet cafe."

L started walking. Jiro followed, but said nothing. L's mind was racing. He was barely aware of the people who passed them on the sidewalk, and he almost walked past the internet cafe, stopped only by Jiro plucking at his sleeve and saying, "Sato, here."

L found an empty computer and started looking up the news. He found what he was looking for immediately. There were even pictures of Mikami's face along with the articles. Nothing was said about him being Kira; the NPA must have decided to keep quiet about that.

The event was portrayed as Kira's attack, though. It was large enough, and obvious enough, that it couldn't help but make the news, especially after a lull in Kira's activities.

A large "soapland", a brothel masquerading as an expensive bath house and spa, had been discovered with every single prostitute dead of a heart attack and only a single male within, Teru Mikami, who was also dead.

This "soapland" had been turning away all clients for several days before the discovery, and the regular clients listed in records at the site had all died of heart failure, wherever they happened to be, at the exact same moment as the prostitutes and Teru Mikami. It had made quite an impact, especially since several prominent and immensely rich businessmen had died. Soaplands all over Tokyo had gone into a panic at the news, closing and turning away clients.

L wanted to laugh out loud. He felt very strange. It was over, finally over. He had never been so gleeful at the death of a criminal. Mikami was dead, dead, dead, and it was great.

He pulled himself together, mindful that Jiro and various others might be able to see his screen, and spent nearly an hour looking at other news stories to cover his interest in the one. Not likely to be necessary, probably a product of his paranoia, but the attempt at secrecy helped to calm him all the same.

When L felt he was done, he obtained a scrap of paper and a pencil, writing down instructions for Jiro to dig up his remaining buried cash, and then wrote down the address of a safe house he knew he wouldn't be using, along with the code required to open the door.

He thought for a few moments, nibbling on the pencil-end, then wrote some more:

 _  
**This house will be empty for the next year, and nobody will challenge you for living there. Groceries are delivered by a service each Friday. Thank you. You have helped a crazy person, in ways I cannot explain to you. I will not return.**   
_

L folded up the piece of paper and, on his way out, shoved the paper into Jiro's hands. Jiro looked at the paper and started unfolding it. L didn't wait, but ran outside, merging with the now-heavy sidewalk traffic, letting it carry him to where most of the people were going, to even more densely-populated areas where a taxi could be easily obtained.

There was still Misa and Rem to deal with. Mostly Rem, since Misa seemed to have given up on trying to get her way.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, we've now reached the end of the climax, though there are still some big loose ends left to wrap up after this.

Mikami had a really wild last few days, with an entire brothel full of prostitutes attending to his every need. I expect he probably made some of them pretend to be Misa. He was probably also thinking very judgemental thoughts about them the entire time.

What L did was really stupid, and he knew it, but the stress got to him and made him particularly crazy during Mikami's last days of life.


	41. Operation

**CHAPTER 41: Operation**

Exactly twenty-five days after Mikami's death, Watari appeared at the facility where L was living. L had been on edge, worked up from expecting Watari a day or two sooner, but the sight of Watari on the surveillance video was a comfort the instant L saw it. His head snapped up, and he felt more alert, relief washing through him.

L knew Watari wouldn't have directions to exactly where he was. Nobody did. Watari had obviously figured out the correct building simply from publicly-available knowledge of where Misa was staying. L's set of rooms, in the sub-basement, wasn't even on the building's blueprints.

L ran to his private elevator, which took him up to the same level as the fourth floor and then stopped, hitching itself to one of the regular elevators that was empty so L could open a secret door and crawl through a passage from one to another.

Once in a normal elevator, L typed in a code that would turn off the surveillance cameras in the reception area and lobby, disguised as a static-filled malfunction if anyone took the time to notice. Then that elevator descended to the first floor, stopping once on the way down to collect a nurse and two cooks, and then L spilled out along with the others.

Rem was still nowhere in sight. For that much, L was thankful.

The employees brushed past L with impatient noises as he stopped just a couple of steps outside the elevator. None of them knew how important he was, that he was actually their employer, or that he lived in a secret floor below the basement.

Watari turned then, and his smile made it feel as if all the intervening time hadn't happened. Watari was back. Everything was normal, somehow, despite how strange things were.

L felt almost giddy and very slightly insane as he ran to Watari and wrapped him in a hug, loudly saying "Grandfather!" for the sake of the receptionist, but using the closeness of the hug to whisper in Watari's ear, "They know me as Hideki Ryuga here. Follow quickly so we can talk without Rem."

Watari broke the hug and said, "How are you these days?" as L led him back to the elevator, pushing through the people already in the elevator so that they could have a corner in the back to themselves.

As the doors closed on them, L said, "I am fine."

Watari said very little, just standard small talk, as they waited for the elevator to empty of everyone except themselves. As soon as it did so, L showed Watari the codes to type in to arrange the hitch-up with the fourth-floor switch to get on the secret elevator, and also how to restore the lobby and reception cameras to normal.

L didn't stop being tense until the secret elevator opened on his own floor. Then he let out a big sigh and, walking forward, threw himself on a couch. Watari settled into a chair directly across from him.

It was a large room with bright lights and a color scheme of yellows, creams and gold to make up for the complete lack of sunlight. There were lots of computers gathered at one end, and many upholstered chairs, low tables, and couches. It was where L spent most of his time, and was rather messy with candy wrappers, crumb-covered plates, and half-drunk cups of tea on most of the tables.

Now that Watari had arrived, L felt happier but very, very tired, almost too exhausted to get his thoughts together.

Watari started for him by clearing his throat and then saying, "I presume this is a secure area?"

"Secure until Rem comes through a wall. If we talk softly in the center of the room, she won't hear us unless we see her. It is likely she won't be looking for me for at least an hour. She is not too dangerous, though. Not at the moment. If she does come, switch to neutral topics until she leaves again."

L was so tired. He felt stretched beyond his limit, with no energy left in his body. He slumped further on the couch, almost in a laying down position, curled up and supporting his weight on an elbow.

Watari said, "And Rem is forcing you to live here?"

L had opened his mouth to answer when Jojo's yowl came echoing down a hallway that opened onto this main room, followed by the noise of his pounding feet. It sounded heavy and large, more like a dog than a cat.

Watari looked genuinely surprised as Jojo ran into view around a turn in the hallway, stopping at the doorway and staring, craning his neck, his ears thrust forward, wavering, his whiskers quivering.

Watari turned back towards L and said, "You have a cat?"

"Yes. Mikami forced me to let him kill William Potts. This was his cat, Jojo."

"Is it wise to keep the cat?"

"It is probably not the best thing for my mental health, but unfortunately Jojo has a surly temperament, and I cannot believe that he could find a loving home elsewhere. I owe it to William."

Jojo suddenly ran towards Watari and stopped nearby, looking upward and letting out a plaintive meow.

L said, "Don't touch him unless you have cheese, he-"

But Watari was already reaching out and in a flash Jojo was swinging his mouth up, bared and ready to bite. In a movement almost too fast to follow, Watari suddenly had Jojo immobilized, firmly holding two hands-full of bunched-up skin along the centerline of Jojo's back and along the back of his neck.

Jojo let out a dangerous-sounding moaning growl as he twisted furiously inside his own skin, but he couldn't reach far enough to bite or scratch. He yowled, puffed up, became a flurry of claws, and hissed like a demon. Jojo stared at Watari and Watari stared back.

Jojo looked away first, and in that moment Watari let go. Instantly, Jojo was an orange streak across the floor, disappearing under one of the couches.

L said, "I was going to say, he usually bites unless you have cheese."

L rubbed his eyes. He didn't want to start, but he did want to get it over with. Hopefully, before Rem interrupted, just in case anything came out that might be important to conceal from her.

L slumped all the way onto his back and stared at the ceiling as he began talking, trusting Watari to keep a lookout for Rem. He started narrating events from exactly when Watari had last seen him in the helicopter, continued through the days of living in a deception with Mikami and then hiding among the homeless, and ended with a description of Rem's demands after that, and of how he had complied with them.

Rem had insisted on keeping him where she could monitor his activities, so he'd bought and renovated the building they were in, creating secure living quarters for himself in the sub-basement, while all the other floors were a combination psychiatric hospital and clinic. It was a live-in facility for pregnant women with mental or physical problems requiring extended treatment. Misa had all these qualities, with her need for physical therapy, language therapy and her continuing threats of suicide. She hadn't stopped when Mikami died, though she hadn't actually done anything either.

The facility met all of Misa's needs and all of Rem's demands, even including a group of peers that had the potential to become the basis for a true social support network for Misa, a group of female friends in similar circumstances for her to lean on. Misa had the best that money could buy in terms of doctors, psychiatrists and therapists. She had plenty of opportunities to heal and build self-esteem. Rem would not be able to say that Misa lacked anything.

Unfortunately, L found himself restricted in further ways. Rem insisted that he should eat one meal a day in Misa's company, and that he could not go on any trips outside Rem's range, no matter how short. If he wanted to go anywhere, he had to bring Misa with him.

L stopped talking and looked over to see Watari's frown.

L said, "Oh, and I also got a vasectomy. I don't want to fear that this could ever happen again."

After a momentary pause, Watari said, "I believe you could defy Rem in these matters of your living quarters with almost no danger of her killing in retaliation. Misa may be getting everything she needs, but your needs are far from being met. If you're not careful, you'll drive yourself into an early grave from stress."

L said, "Your concern is appreciated, Watari, but this situation is already a compromise. Rem wanted me to eat three meals a day with Misa and live in a room next to her room. And she wanted me to agree to imprison you when you returned, but I argued until Rem said that you would be allowed to come and go as you please. Rem can't kill anyone to save Misa's life, but she can still kill for spite. As long as I'm alive, I'm probably the greatest threat to Misa's life and thus Rem's, but others do not have that protection. Rem can kill to manipulate me into ensuring Misa's happiness."

"You have reason to fear she will do so?"

"Rem killed a receptionist when I stopped eating meals with Misa for five days. Misa is very angry with Rem about it, but Rem refuses to apologize or to promise that it will never happen again. Rem has a fantasy that I will fall in love with Misa if I'm forced to spend time with her, and then in the end we'll be a happy family."

L's voice broke and he felt a wave of shame wash over him. He was drowning in it, chocking on it, his face burning. He turned his head, hiding his face partly against the couch cushions and partly in the crook of his arm. He felt like a murderer all over again.

L said, "Misa has agreed to go on trial, as soon as Rem will promise not to kill me or anyone else afterwards. The only obstacle is that Rem disagrees. I've been arguing with Rem every day, and I think I will eventually convince her."

Watari said, "L, you are not good at convincing anyone of subjective truths, you are only good at proving specific deductions using logic. You are not suited to this. Let me take over the task of these arguments with Rem."

L replied, "It is possible Rem could kill you."

"What does it matter if she does? I'm sure I do not have many years left in any case."

"It would devastate me."

There was a silence, and a few moments later L heard the sound of Watari's chair scooting closer across the carpet and then felt Watari's hand on his shoulder. He sniffled into his elbow, feeling stupid and too old to gain such simplistic comfort from a fatherly hand on his shoulder, when he was about to become a father himself.

But still, that hand felt very good, a steadying anchor in the mass of chaos his life had become.

L said, "I have told Misa there is no need to threaten suicide, but she continues. It is possible that she fears Mikami might have an additional accomplice still alive and monitoring the situation, to see if we do indeed keep our word to Mikami by faking Misa's suicide and then later starting up the murders again."

"What is your evaluation?"

"I am certain there will be no more surprises from Mikami. He was too obsessed with control to be willing to let another person make such an important decision for him. He cannot have any living accomplices. It would be entirely contrary to his personality."

Watari said, "Then we are done. There will never be another Kira."

"There is only Misa to attend to."

Watari sighed heavily. L pulled his face far enough out of the crook of his arm to look up at Watari's face. The hand was still a reassuring presence on his shoulder, but L could tell, could simply sense, that Watari was about to say something unpleasant.

Watari cleared his throat and then said, "I did not think I would ever tell you to walk away from a case, but this is a special situation. There are too many damaging personal entanglements here. Please evaluate whether you are driven by revenge instead of a legitimate purpose before deciding whether to continue. Revenge can destroy a person. It may be easier to convince Rem to let you go than to convince her to let you put Misa on trial, and perhaps escape would be the better goal."

L said, "That is, essentially, what Rem says to me. That my continued pursuit of Misa's trial is meaningless revenge, and that it would not serve any constructive purpose whatsoever."

Watari gripped L's shoulder harder and said, "I somewhat concur. Misa's trial would do you no good, and it could easily land you in prison or worse. Additionally, it could draw attention from unsavory elements that might want to steal the notebooks."

"Do you believe I love her?"

"No."

"Good. I will consider changing my mind about the trial. Where are the notebooks and how are things with everyone else?"

L pushed himself upward, sitting up fully on the couch, clutching his legs to him, angling his body to keep a good view of the room for Rem's possible return. Now would be the time any critical secrets might have to be discussed, and it was best to have two alert watchers.

Watari said, "Roger was surprised you didn't contact him yesterday through any of the usual channels so-"

L muttered, "Roger is an idiot if he didn't think that the usual channels might have been permanently compromised and worth avoiding."

Watari continued with, "So I came here in person after helping Roger arrange things at Wammy's House. Everyone has returned except for Matt. The vast majority of the children think it was merely a training exercise in how to go into hiding, one they are being graded on."

L said, "And the notebooks and Matt?"

"I've had direct contact with him. He received your message and understood that Mikami was to commit suicide, so he waited until receiving confirmation of it through the media. At that point he was afraid to burn Mikami's notebook in case Rem might decide to kill unless it was returned, and he did not want to leave it ownerless in case Ryuk decided to try giving it to another person, so he touched it and is now the owner."

 _That idiot. I expected a little better of him. He should have burned it even if he thought Rem might threaten myself or others._

L said, "That explains Ryuk's absence. Is Matt supplying Ryuk with plenty of apples?"

"Yes," Watari said, "Matt does not want to risk provoking a god of death. I am not sure precisely where Matt is at the moment, as he is still being cautious and refuses to say, but he says both notebooks are fully secure and he can burn one or both at your orders."

"We'll have him burn Mikami's notebook only. Misa needs her memories if she is ever to be put on trial, and I am not sure if I want to set Rem loose yet. She could possibly go to the shinigami realm or elsewhere and create some kind of trouble."

Watari said, "Matt has ingested a piece, to test whether that will let him retain his memories after the notebook itself is burned. He has also made a number of video diaries for himself, placing them on his laptop under heavy encryption, so that he will be able to educate himself about the missing pieces of his memory."

"That is very intelligent. I wonder if it will work? Or if it will have any unusual side effects? Make sure Matt takes precautions so that Misa's notebook is not lost if his memories are disrupted."

L suddenly had an urge to start training his top four successors immediately, to begin testing them on real cases as he'd discussed with Matt. But it couldn't begin yet. So far, the successors were entirely hidden from Rem. Rem would likely notice any contact extensive enough for training purposes, even if it happened anonymously through a computer, and she might demand to be shown photos of any detectives who would work cases with L. It wasn't an insurmountable problem. Rem could be tricked. But it was a big risk to take and not worth it.

Watari said, "What is the plan for the time being?"

"No action can be taken yet. I will continue living here the same way as I have. I need to wait another month before bringing Eraldo Coil or Deneuve out of retirement. Then I will work cases from this place as my headquarters."

L paused, looking at Watari, and then said, "I know there is almost nothing for you to do here until my cases start again, but, would you..."

"I will stay."

"Thank you."

L stood up from his couch and made his way to a nearby table, opening a drawer and bringing out a set of ultrasound pictures, the images grainy and gray and difficult to make visual sense of, but absolutely showing the reality, the undeniable reality of the impending situation. Two of the pictures even had a part of the image circled and "Boy" printed next to those circles.

He shoved the pictures into Watari's hands, feeling helpless and panicked, hoping that somehow Watari would say something that would make it better, that would make the world seem sane and normal again.

L said, "I am experiencing very difficult internal conflicts. I have no idea what to do when he arrives, I simply cannot think. I wish this had never happened. There are only three and a half months left. No, probably slightly less than that, as they will schedule the Cesarean before Misa's due date to avoid any risk of labor."

Watari looked through the pictures. At the end he handed them back to L and said, "I would not blame you in the slightest if you made no effort to be a father to this boy. The circumstances are exceptional. If Rem will let you go, you should consider caring for him only by providing nannies and financial resources."

L said, "I thought you would say something like that," and walked back to put the pictures away in the same drawer.

He closed the drawer with a feeling of slight relief. He couldn't bear to have the things sitting out in the open, where they might catch his eye at any time. He stood there for a few moments, feeling helpless, then returned to the same couch and curled up, nibbling at his thumb.

Watari said, "L, if you do not make escaping from Rem your main goal, then I am going to insist that you start some sort of treatment to deal with the stress."

L sighed, and then agreed.

It took nearly a week to decide what kind of treatment would be suitable.

L still hated the concept of going to a shrink, but he kept remembering the comforting feeling of Watari's hand on his shoulder. If he could be touched, if he could let himself be touched by people and become fine with it, train himself to relax in a physical way, then maybe everything would be easier.

He hired massage therapists. The very first massage was a disaster. He was only able to strip down to his jeans instead of going nude with a towel as he was supposed to, and he screamed when the massage therapist touched his neck, firing her on the spot.

The second massage lasted for twenty minutes before he started shaking and had to end it, though the therapist had only touched his shoulders and back, nothing else, just as he'd asked. He fired that one also, determined to start anew, but had enough pity to give her a large severance package.

Gradually, though, he got used to it. He fired the therapists less often, and, by the time it had been going on for two months, he was able to be touched in all the normal places with only slight queasy feelings from time to time. On occasions, he even got erections during his massages, and he was gratified at the way the massage therapists would professionally ignore such things, pretending to not even notice, as he stared at the ceiling and then usually asked to turn onto his stomach.

He could tell there were subtle changes in himself. The near-daily kneading of his shoulders and neck produced a slightly straighter posture, noticeable in the mirror. He was able to be a little less tense during meals with Misa and during his continued arguments with Rem. And, when he started taking on new cases as Eraldo Coil, he was always the freshest and most sharp-witted immediately after a massage session.

But then he began becoming tense again as the scheduled date of Misa's Cesarean section drew near. No matter how long his shoulders were worked on, they remained tense and knotted, and he became more of an insomniac than ever before, spending sleepless nights staring at walls and ceilings.

Before L was even slightly prepared, the actual day had arrived. He'd sent Watari away on an errand, and he'd told himself that he wasn't going to watch it. He didn't want to be there. Ryuk was back by that point in time, the notebook burned and Matt's memories destroyed with it, though Matt knew everything thanks to his video messages to himself.

L didn't want to watch the operation, but as the time approached all he could do was pace in his secret lair, aimlessly roaming up and down the hallways, glancing at every clock he saw. Ryuk followed him, bored and making remarks that didn't help in the slightest.

L couldn't do it. He couldn't stay away. He couldn't just hide in the basement while his son was brought into the world.

His son. It felt alien, wrong somehow, to even be able to think in those terms.

He entered the waiting room while they were still preparing for Misa's surgery. It was a fairly large waiting room with chairs, low tables and plenty of magazines. There was a series of big glass windows all along one wall giving views to the operating area, which was actually three semi-divided rooms, so that three women could be worked on at the same time, if necessary.

One chamber was empty, one was being prepared for Misa's operation, and in the third there was a woman already there, in the process of giving birth the normal way. A well-placed curtain and the bodies of the medical workers gathered around her blocked anything gory from sight, but she screamed from time to time and her face was covered with sweat. There were two men in the waiting room, watching her anxiously. From their ages L guessed they were a father-to-be and a grandfather.

L put himself in the furthest corner from the other men and tried to read a magazine while Ryuk hovered over him.

Ryuk said, "Hey, if you don't want the baby, then why are you here?"

L said nothing.

Ryuk drifted through the divider into the area where a woman was giving birth. As soon as he was behind the curtain he got a sour look on his face and immediately retreated through another wall. L was glad to see him gone. Hopefully he would go back to his apples, or better yet, the shinigami realm, and be away the rest of the day.

L was alerted to Misa's arrival by the sight of Rem's form, drifting ahead of Misa into the operating room. The other woman was just finishing giving birth as the doctors gathered around Misa and prepared everything. Misa's eyes looked empty, vacant. She wasn't being put under, though. They were doing the usual procedure, numbing her from approximately the chest down so they could cut her open. Misa would be awake the entire time.

It didn't seem like something that a person should be awake for, but a curtain was being set up to block Misa's own view of the procedure, so that should help. A bit.

The other baby was being carried out, crying, wrapped in a blanket. The supposed father and grandfather were gathering around it, taking it from the nurse, talking about names. It was just a murmuring in the background to L, like a radio that had been on so long that the words were no longer impinging on consciousness. His gaze was focused on the activity surrounding Misa, on Rem's worried form as she paced back and forth, walking directly through all those standing there, on the sharp metal instruments glistening on a tray on wheels next to the operating table, and on trying to catch the few words that were being spoken.

It would be fast, he knew. As soon as she was fully numb they would cut her open and extract the baby. It was a simple procedure. Sewing her back up would be the longest part.

He waited, his magazine dropped, his hands clutching his knees, trying to breathe, watching the oh-so-slow activity of the doctors. And then, when the cutting finally started, he couldn't even look in that direction and found his gaze fastened on the floor.

He knew, though, the moment the baby had been removed. He heard the loud cry and looked to see his son, covered in fluids, being lifted up and cleaned, having the placenta lifted up after him and the cord connecting the two cut.

And then the baby was being carried out of that chamber, through the door, in the arms of a nurse who was approaching L. The blanket he was wrapped in was blue and looked extremely soft, and he cried constantly. His skin was very red.

L told himself that all this was normal, though something inside him was going into an insane panic at the crying and was thinking that no baby should be so red. He knew it was normal, though. There were no signs of anything wrong.

The nurse was then telling him to put his feet on the floor, showing him how to hold the baby. The neck was fragile, unable to hold the head, and needed to be supported. L tried to tune out the crying and dropped his feet to rest on the floor, an unnatural-feeling position, so that he could hold his son.

And then the nurse was handing the warm, wriggly bundle into his arms and L had him. L was looking at the big eyes, as they were alternating between opening and being squeezed tightly closed, as his son continued to prove that he had very healthy vocal cords. There were still a few smears of fluid on him from the inside of Misa's body. His fingers were absurdly tiny, clenching and unclenching into little fists.

He was so very red. But that would doubtless clear up in a day, after he had been exposed to air for long enough.

When L looked down at that face, he felt terrified of doing a bad job, of not being an adequate father, and it was somehow the strongest fear he'd ever experienced in his life. And yet, it wasn't just the idea of doing a terrible parenting job that scared him. The entire concept of a son was frightening.

L also felt immensely possessive. This was his son, his, and he was somehow spinning a fantasy of simply leaving with him, defying Rem, never returning. There was a fair chance that action wouldn't result in death. There would be ways to leave and then become unfindable, free, with Rem and Misa never having a say in the baby's life, with Misa's relatives never having any claim to him.

It was a very tempting fantasy and there were a number of ways to pull it off.

Rem was approaching, hovering over L. L ignored her, refusing to look at her.

The nurse said, "Mr. Ryuga, have you decided on a name? We need it for the birth certificate soon."

L knew what he would like to choose for a name. Perry, after Perry Mason.

He'd read the entire series of 83 novels at age five. Hoping for more, he'd been immensely disappointed to discover that the author had died a few years before his birth. Two new novels sanctioned by the author's estate had come out later, and of course there was the TV series, but it wasn't the same.

And then when he'd started re-reading the series at age eleven, he'd realized the books were rather formulaic, yet that realization hadn't dispelled his fondness. No, Perry Mason still occupied a soft spot in his heart, despite learning that the character wasn't as perfect as he'd once thought.

The part of him that was cautious didn't want to give his son such an obvious name, the name of a famous investigator. Perry was technically a lawyer, but he did as much investigation as any detective, and the name could potentially cause trouble if anyone tried searching for "L" and that person pursued any leads relating to Misa Amane. Though that was probably being paranoid.

And then there was another part of L that doubted whether he'd be able to truly think of his son as "Perry" after having such a long emotional entanglement with a fictional character of the same name.

In compromise, he said, "Percy."

The nurse replied, "Percy Ryuga. Any middle name?"

A middle name? That was an extra complication, and not strictly required on an international, dual-citizenship birth certificate such as this.

L said, "No. Just 'Percy Ryuga' is fine."

He clutched Percy, hoping he would stop crying. L felt awful inside, as if an instinct were punishing him for every moment his son cried.

Rem was too close. He wanted Percy to be far away from Rem forever.

L said, "Shh! Shush."

The crying continued. Was he holding him too tightly? Too loosely? Did he need milk? Was he cold?

L wanted to hand Percy back to the nurse, to send him to the nursery where all the other new arrivals were kept and there were plenty of competent workers who knew everything about how to care for babies. But something in him didn't want to let go yet. The possessive instinct was almost entirely overwhelming.

L studied the details of Percy's features, the places where the skin gathered, wrinkled and loose at his elbows and neck, the few wisps of black hair on his head, his toothless gums, his very dark brown eyes. Percy looked strange, the various parts of his body not seeming to match the other parts well. But that was what newborns were like. They didn't look nice until at least a few days after birth.

Then Percy turned his head to the side and L was suddenly noticing something about the ear being exposed clearly to his view. He knew almost instantly. It was her ear, exactly like Misa's except in miniature.

L felt sick. He wanted to vomit, and then he wanted to be very far away from Percy. He still felt possessive, though. He wanted him and didn't want him. L desired complete abandonment, and also wanted to run away with Percy, raising him in secret.

There were shouts from the operation room.

Rem said, "No!"

L looked up, and saw Misa's arm, seeming very tiny, pale and thin. It was raised high and being clutched by several medical workers. The arm was shifting back and forth, struggling, holding a shiny scalpel. In a few moments they had forced the scalpel out of her hand and also pushed the wheeled tray of other sharp instruments out of her reach.

Misa said, "I want to die! Let me!"

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, it's been a very long wait since the previous chapter, but I believe the next chapter (which should be the very last one) should come soon.

There will be a resolution to the situation. L needs to undergo a little bit more character development before this fic can be properly concluded, and Yumiko and Ide will both return in the last chapter.

I believe L would not know how to deal with being a father, and besides that, rape victims often have horrible reactions to their children who result from rape, so I tried to show the helpless, confused side of L in this chapter. I know L is usually a decisive character who is brimming with plans, so it's a bit difficult to show him like that and also keep him in character.


	42. Conversations

**CHAPTER 42: Conversations**

They'd gotten the scalpel away from Misa. She was fine. Yes, she was fine, but Rem was hunched over, subtly shaking.

L inspected Percy again, afraid that his attention being drawn elsewhere so vigorously could result in either dropping the baby or holding him too tightly. At the mere thought of such things, it felt as if his stomach was dropping out from his insides. Any idea of harm to Percy was completely unacceptable.

No, Percy was fine. He was oblivious to the events. Still crying, but, if anything, crying more softly.

There was Misa's voice again, "Kill me."

It was soft yet demanding, and chills ran all through L's body at the tone of the words.

The nurse was attempting to take Percy. L made eye contact with her and then let her, carefully distributing the weight as Percy was handed over, being careful not to hurt him. Percy felt so tiny and fragile it was frightening just to do such a simple procedure as transferring him from one set of arms to another.

In the next moment L looked back to Rem and was glad he didn't have Percy in his arms any longer. Rem was writing. L might, really might, have dropped Percy at seeing such a thing.

And Rem was writing, still writing, her death note held open but angled so L couldn't see the page. Was she writing lots of names? L shuddered. Rem had snapped, was that it?

He wanted to say something to Rem, to beg her to limit her killing to as few as possible, but the only thing that passed his lips was a pathetic, wheezing, "Please..."

L brought his legs back up, his knees pressing to his chest as he perched on the chair, his arms wrapped tightly around them.

Rem finished writing, and stared, simply stared, toward Misa. Rem's face was draw out, haunted. L thought that he would see that expression in his nightmares in days to come.

There was a sudden laugh from Misa and the doctors surrounding her happened to move in such a way that L could see her face again, and it looked entirely untroubled, contented. It was like the face of a saint in some old painting, radiating a calm beyond anything earthly.

L began to suspect, to understand, what was happening.

Rem turned toward L then, and Rem said, "Misa could not have made her wishes more clear, and though I waited she never changed her mind. This was the only way... the only way she could be happy."

L could feel his heart pounding in his chest, could taste dry sourness in his mouth.

 _I am not glad that she is dying._

Rem opened her notebook, dangling it in front of L's face, showing him.

Misa's name was the only one that had been written... so far. She would live for 23 days, as happy as it was possible for a person to be the entire time. Her mind would still be her own, and she would make decisions as rationally as if she were not overloaded with bliss. When the time came, she would die painlessly in her sleep.

 _With Misa dying, I have no protection. I must know._

Ignoring the stares from the nurse and the two men who were close enough to hear him, L softly said, "Are you planning to kill me in revenge, Rem? Is that what you intend to do?"

He waited passively. Death would almost be a relief at this point, but a much greater relief would be knowing that Rem wouldn't kill. Either way, a burden would be lifted.

Rem said, "Misa would not have wanted that. Deaths should be for a reason, and I see no reason to kill you, L Lawliet. I believe you may love her. You had many chances to betray her, yet you never chose to do so. I also know that she loves you."

 _It does not matter if Rem thinks so. None of it matters any longer. I will live, Watari will live. Things will get better._

Rem gazed over her shoulder at Misa, her look saturated with longing.

Rem said, "I am forbidden from telling you how long she had left, however I can tell you that it was not a long time. She halved her lifespan twice, an enormously foolish thing to do. This way... this way, she can have more happiness in twenty-three days than some humans have in an entire lifetime."

L almost decided to disappear that day. But he stayed instead.

He reasoned that if Misa's husband disappeared, and then Misa died shortly afterwards, it might start trouble of some sort. At the very least, it would hurt Yumiko. At the worst it might cause the Kira suspicions that had focused on Misa to intensify and refocus on "Hideki Ryuga" strongly enough to cause trouble, such as creating greater scrutiny at airports for anyone matching L's appearance.

And he also thought his decision to stay had something to do with Percy. Percy was somehow always on his mind. He wanted the best for him, and he was gratified when Misa showed no interest in being a mother. Misa would not breastfeed Percy and refused to hold him, not even once.

It was all the more eerie that she was so cheerful while refusing to touch her son, that she was so cheerful doing everything that she did. It was almost horrifying to see emotions forced on Misa by an outside source. Each one of Misa's doctors and therapists tried to take credit for the extreme change, though several were deeply suspicious that it was somehow an act that would suddenly fall apart.

L kept up the same schedule of eating one meal a day with Misa. The staff would notice if he changed his habits, and he reasoned that enduring Misa would be easier, knowing that there were a limited number of visits left.

It wasn't exactly easier. It was the strangest experience of L's life. Misa radiated peace and bliss. Even when she wasn't actually smiling, her face was so utterly and bizarrely calm that it set off all of L's instincts of "wrongness" and made him feel as if his judgment was flawed, as if he could no longer evaluate people.

He found himself rethinking the importance of attitude in personality. After all, Misa still had an unclouded mind. That much had been written. It was not like an endless drug trip for her; she was simply extremely happy. Yet that shift in attitude had changed so much about her. Living life with no regrets, no pain, no fear, it truly made a difference in personality.

L watched Misa warily, thinking of her as not-Misa, almost expecting some alien to be living beneath her skin. He was left with an internal sense of not being able to figure her out, despite knowing exactly what had caused the change: Rem.

He didn't like Misa, no. But he couldn't feel angry at this version of her. And when he thought of Misa's approaching death, he alternated between feeling a sharp pang in his heart or feeling completely numb and worn out.

When Yumiko first saw the new Misa, her reaction was walking around Misa, looking at her from every side, as if she expected some trick.

Then Yumiko said, "What drugs do they have her on? Because I would really like some."

Misa had laughed at that and hugged Yumiko.

L secretly arranged things so that Yumiko would have more time off of work, so she could visit Misa more frequently.

And, during all the time Misa's death approached, L got to know Percy better. There were nannies and medical workers to care for Percy, to feed him and burp him and check on him constantly during the night. L knew his own life wasn't disrupted the way that a normal new parent's life would be disrupted. But he felt drawn to Percy when he was away too long, anxious, his thoughts dwelling on him, imagining that Percy somehow wasn't receiving adequate care. Percy cried a lot, and L had to keep reassuring himself, by reading books and articles that told him Percy's total time spent crying was within the normal range.

And then L would find himself in the nursery, time and again, leaning over the railing on Percy's crib and watching him. He liked to watch Percy sleep, and, when Percy was awake, L would often dangle a hand, delighted when Percy focused his eyes on it and grabbed at it.

And if Percy managed to catch a finger he would squeeze very, very hard. L would grunt in pain and endure it. Strength was a good quality. It was another piece of evidence that Percy was growing and developing as he should, along with his skin turning a normal color and his body subtly filling out, no longer so wrinkled and odd-looking.

Yet L still had moments when he was afraid of Percy. To limit these, L deliberately tried to not look at Percy's ears, but other things could set him off as well and there was no way to avoid all of it. At least, no way without avoiding Percy altogether.

With the case closing definitively, there was another urge that was growing in L. He wanted to deny it, but the idea kept coming back into his mind, gnawing at him, refusing to go away. He wasn't sure if it was a good idea, but it didn't feel as if it would go away on its own. From the time it first occurred to him, it became a compulsion that grew in his mind. The compulsion was fed by a sense of isolation, as if he had no closure, no proper end to what had happened.

Rem didn't care where he went any longer, and so it was not hard to arrange the visit. He first had Wedy scout out the area, to be sure he'd be unobserved, scanning it for any hidden cameras or bugs. It was clean and safe. He also made sure that his visit would not coincide with a time that Sayu or Sachiko would be there. He did not feel as if he could ever face either one of them.

Their graves were side by side. Father and son. Mercifully, the surviving family members thought they'd both been killed by Kira, not that one had been secretly Kira all along and that he had been complicit in his father's death. L went directly to Soichiro's grave first. He swallowed painfully as he gazed at the neat, sharp outlines of the kanji carved into the gravestone. L crouched in the grass, imagining Soichiro before him.

L said, "Chief Yagami, I could not tell you this while you were alive, and I suspect that you are unable to hear me now, but I feel as if I won't rest until I try. Even though Misa killed you, your death was completely my fault. I should not have written Light's name, and I certainly should not have written Light's name without first securing Misa. Additionally, there were many points in the investigation where a different choice by myself would have likely resulted in Light's capture."

A gust of warm summer wind blew through the treetops. The graveyard was full of rich, deep greens. The grass was vibrant, and the leaves of the trees as well, with no hint of the autumn that would arrive in a few weeks. L knew he was going to be twenty-six years old in a couple of months. It hardly seemed real.

L said, "Although, if you are capable of hearing me now, then I expect you already know these things. Nothing I can say to you would improve anything. It is more for my own benefit that I am here."

He wanted to be doing something with his fingers. He absently plucked a blade of grass and began delicately shredding it into long strips.

"Perhaps I could not have saved your life, Chief Yagami. I still believe my evaluation is correct, that you would have committed suicide if your son were proven as Kira. In those last moments, when everyone was dropping around you, I could see it in your eyes. Did you always suspect him?"

There was no answer, only the warmth of the sun beating down on L's back and the fresh scents of outdoors. Graveyards, they were very much built to be everything that death wasn't, to be sweet-smelling and beautiful and calm. L finished shredding the blade of grass and let the pieces fall from his fingers before plucking another one.

L said, "No, I think you likely would have killed yourself unless I had trapped Light in such a way that his only chance at escape was to destroy the notebook. That would have been a difficult circumstance to create, but it was the only way things would have turned out well for everyone. But this fact does not resolve me of any responsibility in the way you actually died, and it is certainly true the others would still be alive if not for my mistake."

L wanted Aizawa to yell at him, he wanted Matsuda to say something silly, and he wanted Mogi to be standing silently in the background, working hard and reliably as he always did. L did not plan to visit their graves too, in entirely different cemeteries. It would be too much, especially after seeing Matsuda as a hallucination. And, somehow, he always felt more responsible towards the chief. Was it because Soichiro was the leader of the task force? Or was it because L had seen Soichiro suffering while alive, unlike the others who were mostly oblivious?

L said, "I am sorry, Chief Yagami," once more, before moving over to Light's grave.

This time, he merely looked at the headstone and did not try to envision Light. No, he knew better than that. The blood-bubbles and severed tongue would appear before him if he tried to.

L said, "Light, I did not like you. I have never liked any murderers and I could virtually tell you were one from the moment I first saw you. But I have never met anyone else who operated at precisely at my level of thinking, and I miss our conversations. I wish we could have had one last real talk. This will have to substitute. I will not return here."

Though he had tried not to, L did have images of Light's death scene flash into his mind.

He said, "Light, you deserved to be caught, but you did not deserve to die that way. You did not even deserve to be murdered in the painless way I had intended for you. What I did to you was incredibly wrong, and it was cheating. I did not win over you, I cheated. I am a criminal. The trust funds that your mother and sister will be paid from for the rest of their lives, these cannot even begin to make up for what I did to you and your father."

L plucked more grass blades, fiercely, but threw them down again, unable to draw any calmness from playing with them.

He said, "You have destroyed L. I became a murderer for you and... L will never take another case. By letting out some necessary information to the NPA and Interpol, and by asking permission to kill Mikami instead of planning to murder him, I sealed L's fate. There are already factions that are very interested in Kira's power, factions that wish to capture L to force him to tell the secret of Kira's power, of how it can be transferred from one person to another. Even if my latest actions had not made the NPA suspect that L was on Kira's side, the fact of people wanting to capture and torture L to get Kira's secrets would destroy L anyway. I will take more cases, I am taking more cases, but 'L' the detective is dead."

L sighed and added, "I hope my successors become capable detectives in their own right, but they will never be L. Nobody will ever be L again, not even myself."

L wanted to leave then, but it felt as if things were still unsaid that needed to be spoken. He wanted to get it all out on one trip, wanted for there never to be another visit here. He crouched, waiting, until the words were welling up in his mind again.

L said, "Perhaps we were too well-matched. Perhaps we would have destroyed each other no matter how things turned out, neither of us able to win a clean victory. I threw the police and every strategy I had at you, and you threw monsters and everything else you could think of at me. Rem, Ryuk, and Misa, they were all monsters."

He suddenly had vivid memories leap into his mind of how it had felt for Misa to bring him such pleasure and shame all at once, his mouth crying out helplessly, his hips instinctually thrusting, his own body responding to her touches and betraying him, as if his body and Misa were cooperating to rape him. It was hate, confusion, lust, revulsion, ecstasy and a dozen other things all mixed together in a horrid stew of emotions.

L looked down, his eyes tracing the contours of grass blades, and he whispered, "She raped me, Light. Did you think she had it in her to do that? I wonder, if you had ever rejected her, and if she'd had an opportunity to force you, if she would have... if she would... to you too."

There was no answer to his words, only a rush of wind tossing the tops of the trees; their pillar-like trunks lined up like the columns of a cathedral. Everything looked very peaceful and beautiful.

"I have never had any pride, Light. I do not let people harm me unless I have no choice, but I have very little concern for what they think of me. I am the opposite of you in that way. I don't understand why people attach such importance to their pride. I think that is the flaw which made you Kira, though if you'd led a more ordinary life, your pride probably would not have brought you much trouble except for some hurt emotions of those around you."

L breathed more freely. It felt like getting something off his chest, releasing a burden, coming clean. His own thoughts were suddenly clearer.

 _If Light had never turned down the wrong path, he would have been a good counterpoint to my own thinking. When Light could not remember being Kira, there was nothing evil about him._

L added, "With your narcissistic personality and your inability to question your own judgment, your fate was sealed the moment you found that cursed thing. Your father was right. It is a tempting power that brings doom on those who have it. Even after seeing what had happened to you, I nearly fell into that trap myself. I had no right to judge you so harshly. What you did as Kira was a terrible crime, and it should have been stopped, but it was an understandable course of action for you to take. Not excusable, but understandable. You probably would not have killed anyone if you'd been forced to get your hands dirty in order to do it, if you'd been forced to watch every victim bleed and die as ordinary murderers must do."

L waited, to see if more words were coming, but instead a sense of finality slowly settled over him as he crouched there in front of Light's grave. He'd said everything that was important to say, everything that he wished he could have said to a still-living Light.

L said, "Goodbye, Light" and left the graveyard, never to return.

It was a different graveyard he visited about a week afterwards, when they were burying Misa. Or, rather, when they were burying Misa's ashes, as she'd been cremated in the Buddhist fashion.

L had stayed away from the funeral itself. He had also stayed away when Misa's day of death arrived, preferring to spend his time wandering through museums in Tokyo, shutting it out of his mind, ignoring the confusing emotions that would overwhelm him in a rush from time to time.

But, somehow, Misa's burial drew him, with that same feeling of a need for closure that had pushed him into visiting Soichiro's grave and Light's grave.

It was raining very lightly that day, intermittent sprinkles that were not quite enough to need an umbrella, but enough to leave L slightly damp, cold and shivering. He was too stubborn to leave to fetch a coat.

He stood apart from the group of relatives burying her, not wanting to mingle with them, needing to observe and yet to avoid participation, conversation.

L almost succeeded, but Yumiko somehow managed to sneak up behind him. It was the fumbling with her umbrella that alerted him to her presence, and it was so loud and startling, where he hadn't expected anything, that he almost jumped into the air. Instead, he turned around slowly, and watched Yumiko trying to fold up her umbrella into a little pouch it came in. She was failing over and over. Her movements were clumsy and at last she shoved the tangled mess of half-folded umbrella into her purse.

The sky had recently stopped the slight sprinkling, but it was still gray and overcast. There were a few breaks in the clouds, but they were a long distance away, towards the horizon.

Yumiko didn't say a word at first. She was quiet and subdued. She constantly sniffed and rubbed at her nose, but there were no tears falling from her eyes.

It was taking forever to bury Misa. L wondered if there were some hitch, some delay, or whether his need to be done with things simply made it feel longer.

 _Misa wasn't truly evil. She was just very, very misguided, as most criminals are. Few criminals act from purely evil motives. If she had never obtained a murderer's notebook, she would have been, at worst, a shallow and selfish person. She would not have become a murderer and rapist, and she would not have caused any serious harm to others._

Yumiko's voice suddenly cut into his thoughts, loud but not loud enough to be heard by any of the relatives gathered around the grave.

"I know."

When she spoke, her speech was very slurred. One foot lurched forward suddenly and L jumped back. Yumiko's high heel cut a chunk from the turf. L wasn't sure if it had been simply drunken unsteadiness or an attempt to kick him.

The lurch abruptly turned into one leg sliding forward while the other slid backwards on the wet lawn, Yumiko twisting and then falling heavily onto her side, her dress smeared with grass-stains.

L hesitated and then held out a hand to help her up.

She looked at him before taking it. He couldn't tell if her gaze held hatred or pity.

L pulled her up and then finished steadying Yumiko, as much as he could, and he couldn't think what to say, so he said, "I am sorry for your loss."

Yumiko said, "I lost her a long time ago, a long time."

After a pause, Yumiko said, "I know she fooled... she fooled the doctors. She did kill herself, didn't she... brilliant actress... brilliant. Nobody could stop her."

L said, "That is entirely possible."

Yumiko's eyes fixed on the knot of relatives gathered a little distance away. She seemed to sober abruptly, and she said, "Nobody knows except for me. I'll keep the secret, Ryuga. In her next life, Misa will do better. I'll pray for her. She'll reincarnate and try again. Everyone has to die sometime."

A few stray raindrops fell, and L shook them out of his hair.

Suddenly, Yumiko said, "You're L, aren't you?"

A chill ran down L's spine. Keeping his voice even and normal, he said, "What do you mean?"

Yumiko made a little, sarcastic-sounding laugh and said, "Misa practically told me. She told me enough that... the rest was easy. She was the second Kira, and you are L, isn't that right?"

 _Is she trying to trick me into confirming it? But, what does it matter now?_

Still, L took a few steps backwards, unable to help it. Watari's limousine was almost out of sight behind a curve of a hill, but still within easy running distance.

L said, "Whether it is true or not, nobody will believe you if you tell them. Also, it is dangerous to know anything about L. There are people who would like to capture L, if they think he is still alive. It is not something you should talk about."

"And that's why L had to fake his death. Kira disappeared, and L too, and the police won't say anything to the media, but leaks from the police say that Kira and L killed each other."

"Obviously."

Yumiko let out a big sigh, then put a hand in her purse and brought out a flask in a trembling hand, and took a big swig from it. She immediately seemed calmer, staring in the distance dreamily, not making eye contact.

She said, "You'll take Percy away, won't you?"

"Yes."

Yumiko said, "Promise me... promise me that Percy won't know about any of this. Keep him away from Uncle Izumi. He'll do just what he did to Misa. He'll convince Percy that his mother's death was somehow his fault."

"You realize, Yumiko, that it would be difficult for you to see Percy under those circumstances, don't you?"

"Yes. It's more important for Percy to have a better chance at a good life."

L said, "Then, I will do my best."

L shoved his hands into his pockets, where it was slightly warmer, and continued to stare at the proceedings. He hoped that none of the other relatives would try to talk with him, and his wishes were granted. Yumiko's presence seemed to be a deterrent to them. They flung some odd stares in his direction, but never approached closely.

Surely, not giving them any money had something to do with it.

He watched until the last of Misa's relatives had dispersed and then he made his way back to Watari's limousine, his tennis shoes making odd sounds in the wet grass with each step, his insides feeling numb, as from a long, hard session of work.

L had known, ever since the visit to Soichiro's grave, that there was one more debt to be paid. Most of the debts he owed could never be repaid, but that made the few he was able to repay all the more important. Even if there was a slight element of danger involved.

L waited until after Percy had been situated in his mansion in the Scottish countryside, his preferred headquarters whenever he wasn't traveling. And then he waited a few more months just to be safer, all the while completely bewildered at how he wasn't getting used to being a father, and how hard it was to care for a baby even with nannies and servants to help with every step of the process.

He was 26 years old and it was winter again before he showed up at Ide's door one evening.

Ide opened the door, looking tired and a little impatient, and said "Yes?"

Ide's eyes flicked downward to the level of L's hands, as if he expected L to be carrying pamphlets or selling something.

L said, "I am here to tell you the truth about the way Soichiro Yagami, Tota Matsuda, Kanzo Mogi and Shuichi Aizawa died."

Ide looked startled, then narrowed his eyes and said, "Who are you?"

"I am L. It would be best if I come inside, or if you prefer I have a car waiting that can take us to a private place."

Ide glanced down the hallway in both directions, an unnecessary precaution since L had made sure the entire floor had been cleared of occupants before approaching, and then Ide motioned for L to come inside.

As soon as Ide closed the door, he turned to L, looking him up and down searchingly, as if still evaluating what he was seeing, and said, "Ryuk told me you were still alive. He didn't tell me you're a teenager."

"I'm older than I look. Shall we sit?"

Ide said, "I will put coffee on. Take any seat."

L slipped out of his shoes and hopped into a small chair, leaving the couch for Ide.

Ide was halfway to the kitchen when his head popped back around the corner and he said, "What are you doing here? You know I don't like you, or your methods."

L said, "That is okay. I am here to pay a debt."

Ide disappeared into the kitchen, following by sounds of water running and dishes clanging. Then he returned, stopping short and staring again.

Ide said, "Why don't you sit normally?"

L said, "My feet are clean. If you wish I'll send you enough money for a new chair."

L gazed at the apartment, dingy, cramped, and messy. Furniture was arranged haphazardly, which made for even less room than there should have been. It was a typical bachelor pad for a working man on a small salary.

L said, "I expected to see you in a bigger apartment, considering the bonus pay you're receiving for risking your life chasing Kira."

Ide approached closer and said, "You are him, aren't you? You're the real L?"

"Yes."

Ide settled onto the couch, an uneasy expression on his face, and said, "Why are you really here? If you're supposed to be dead, isn't this blowing your cover?"

"You have no idea who I am, beyond the fact that I am L, and you will not be able to find me after this. There is still a risk, yes, but I need to tell you a few things. I owe the entire team, and I cannot help those who are already dead. When I recruited you to find Ryuk, I told you that you would probably learn the truth about how Aizawa died. Since I cannot help Aizawa in any way, I decided that I at least owe you the truth. You can do whatever you wish with it. However, it would probably be safer for you if you keep quiet."

"Why did you fake your death?"

"I was being threatened by two different Kiras and one shinigami, so that I could not take any action. The situation finally proceeded to a point where any assurances I might give the NPA claiming that I was not on Kira's side would not do any good, unless I could provide them the evidence. Since I was unable to hand over any evidence, letting them think I was dead was the best option. Even now, giving them the evidence would not necessarily make them look on L any more favorably, and it would certainly draw the attention of elements who would wish to use L to steal Kira's power for their own purposes."

Ide rubbed his chin and said, "Well, it worked. Most of them think L is dead. I could tell them different, but it's not like any would believe me."

"Yes, I already know this."

Ide stared.

With that, L started talking, telling the story of chasing Kira from the beginning, editing out nothing except details relating to his identity, or to other secrets, or to his emotions.

During the session, Ide left and brought coffee, and they both slowly drank their way through the entire pot, L deliberately not asking for sugar, as he didn't want to put Ide out more than he already had been. It was awkward enough already, being in a near-stranger's apartment, someone who obviously didn't like L and made no attempt to hide it. Ide flashed looks of anger or consternation at L at a number of points in the narrative.

As L told the story, he did not try to make his own role sound heroic. He pointed out all his mistakes, the points at which the case could have been solved quickly if he'd simply made a different decision or had come to the right deduction sooner. He mentioned the torture and rape in simple, clinical terms, not dwelling on anything dramatic. And he left out all details dealing with Wammy's House or Matt or Wedy, not admitting that Matt was a teenager or that Wedy was an ex-burglar he'd decided to not turn in to the justice system.

Still, one hand trembled just slightly when he got to certain parts, not enough to spill his coffee, but he could see Ide's eyes drawn to it, Ide's face taking note of the reaction.

When he got to the end of the story, he waited, turning his now-cold cup around and around in his hand, though it was empty and there was no more coffee to be had.

After the end, Ide asked questions, most of them pointed and at least slightly accusing, and L answered them as honestly as possible, trying not to be defensive, trying to hold back his irritation at exposing so much of himself for such a reason.

He told himself it was for Matsuda, for Aizawa, and for the others. He couldn't fulfill his obligations to them, so telling the truth to Ide was the least he could do. But he found himself returning Ide's glares all the same.

They ended the discussion abruptly and awkwardly. As L left, he knew Ide still didn't respect him, but he felt better. A last task had been completed, and there was nothing else to bind him to Japan.

Fatherhood, along with the task of finally training his successors, took over his life in the months after that. The training was the easier part. Working cases, while testing Near, Mello, Matt and Linda, these were things that he felt immensely comfortable with.

Being a father was more puzzling than any case, a deep mystery he couldn't solve. His methods felt all wrong. No, they actually were wrong. L knew he wasn't much of a parent. Nannies did most of the work, making L feel like an observer in his own son's life. Even Rem, who took an unhealthy interest in Percy during her visits, seemed to have a greater role than he did.

Jealous of the nannies, L replaced them on a regular basis, determined that Percy would never get attached enough to view any nanny as a surrogate mother. Getting rid of Rem was not possible, though L was able to convince her that it would be wrong to enable Percy to see her, that if she continued to visit him and he could see her, then it would mark him as insane when he got older, and would ruin his life.

Yet L's partially-removed status did not stop the reactions from happening. L still reacted badly to Percy's ears, enough that he often had Percy wear a cap that covered them, and he never knew when Percy was going to smile in a particular way or scratch his neck just so and cause a flashback to Misa's abuse.

Early on, L had believed that his emotions toward Percy would, with time, resolve themselves into something less complicated, into something that was not dominated by possessiveness and fear, but his expectation of that change only diminished as time passed. It was increasingly obvious that it wasn't happening.

There were plans in L's mind, emergency back-up plans that he tried not to think about, tried to push away. But one day, when he had become so immersed in his work he felt almost hypnotized, almost removed from the world, Watari came to him and said something startling.

"If I am not mistaken, you have not seen Percy for nearly a month. He will be one year old soon, and I wanted to know what we will be doing for his birthday."

L dropped the doughnut he'd been preparing to bite.

 _One year. It really has been that long. This is not good. It isn't working._

He hadn't seen Percy for a month because he'd had a terrible argument with a nanny, followed by a firing that had gone particularly badly. He couldn't help but feel in his gut that he had been unjust to her, and that guilt, along with the reactions Percy caused, had made him throw himself into his work with a particular sense of abandon.

The back-up plans all came rushing back into his head at once, and he realized he'd need to sort through them and choose.

L said, "As soon as Rem returns, tell her we need to talk, the three of us."

"And about the birthday preparations?"

"Those won't be in our hands."

It was only a few hours until Rem showed up again, but by that point L had decided on the details of his plan. He'd even created a new birth certificate and a false history for Percy. Percy would have a new last name, though he would keep the same first name.

They held the meeting in a large room that had over-stuffed furniture all around the edges, high windows with window-seats, and nothing that a baby could topple over onto himself. Along with Watari and Rem, L had Percy there, without any nanny, and after hanging onto the edge of L's chair and playing with L's toes, Percy lost interest and began circling the room on unsteady legs while holding onto furniture. He couldn't stand on his own, not yet, but he was getting very skilled at walking as long as he had a tight grip on something to support him.

L started by saying, "I am thinking about Percy's needs. He is being raised by nannies, and if I continue with this lifestyle, he will not have much contact with other children and he will not have any stable relationships."

Rem's gaze followed Percy as he continued to move along a sedan chair, and she said, "If you did not fire the nannies so often, one of them would have bonded with Percy by now."

"That would not help Percy much. I am being selfish by keeping him like this. It is a parenting instinct that compels me to have possession of him, but I must overrule it with logic, for Percy's own good."

Percy looked at Watari and let out a stream of babbling syllables.

L said, "Percy may already have subconscious memories of me. In another year, there would be a risk that he could develop conscious memories of me. If I am going to let him go, it should be soon. He is probably not attached to me and he'll soon develop normal relationships with others, without any emotional pain."

Rem said, "I don't understand."

 _I want to forget, but every time I see him I remember the bad times with Misa._

L said, "It would be cruel to raise him this way, to subject him to the isolation and secrecy of my life, to let him see that I'm afraid of him, to ever risk that he may someday know what situation led to his existence. He is intelligent enough that he will eventually figure out at least part of it unless I first put enough distance between myself and him."

Rem said, "It is the rape trauma, then."

"Yes, it is the rape trauma, and the fact that not everyone who becomes a parent should be a parent. It was unplanned and I am not suited to the role. I have tried, and I failed."

Watari said, "You are not thinking of sending him to Misa's relatives?"

L said, "No, that would be a disaster."

Percy lost his grip, and Rem swooped in and caught him mid-fall, lowering him gently to the carpet. Percy wasn't startled at all; he simply rolled onto his stomach and started crawling. He was used to invisible touches, and L frowned at the thought of it. He wanted Rem to stop showing any interest in Percy. It was like having a tiger interested in your child.

L said, "Rem, I have managed to keep this a secret up until now, but I no longer see how telling the secret to you could do any harm, and if you continue to follow Percy you will find out anyway. As Quillsh Wammy, Watari runs orphanages all over the world. Most populous countries have one of them. Each one is called Wammy's House, and I was raised in one myself, the one in England. These are places where Percy would be with other children, and he would receive an excellent education."

"You'll send him to that one?"

"No, the caretaker for the English Wammy's House, Roger, is not good with children. I believe the most suitable place would be in the French Wammy's House."

Watari said, "I concur. Madame L'Ecuyer does an excellent job with the children, especially the very young ones."

Rem looked at Watari, then at L, and at last her gaze fell on Percy.

He had rolled onto his back and was trying to get his toes into his mouth.

She said, "I approve of this decision. Misa's relatives are manipulative and play mind games. They were always saying hurtful things to Misa and belittling her. L Lawliet, will you ever visit him?"

L replied, "I will assume the identity of Elliot Wammy, the nephew of Quillsh Wammy. Elliot Wammy will reluctantly take a greater interest in his uncle's chain of orphanages, as part of the process of being groomed to eventually take over. I will visit Percy, not as a father, but as a benefactor. I will see him exactly as often as I see the others. I will not leave any clues, or any reason to expect favoritism."

Some instinct deep within L made him want to immediately reverse his decision, to announce that the plan had been discarded and he was keeping Percy after all. Instead, he hopped out of his seat and made his way to the center of the floor, crouching next to Percy.

He dangled a hand in front of Percy's face, and Percy grabbed L's index finger, tightly, tight enough to cut off the blood flow.

L used his other hand to brush the hair away from Percy's eyes and said, "Goodbye, Percy. You will leave today. When I see you again, I will not be your father."

Percy's absence left L with more time and with an emptiness that needed to be filled. He threw himself into the role of Elliot Wammy and into the role of training his top four successors. In the process, he could tell he was becoming somewhat more of a social person, learning new skills, developing new needs, more frequently interacting directly with people instead of only giving orders through a computer or phone.

Percy was two years old before L became involved in his first post-Misa physical relationship. As he began to navigate that aspect of life as well, he discovered that he was always drawn to women who were the opposite of Misa. He found himself dating women who were taller than him, those who had curves and flesh instead of Misa's tiny frame, and he absolutely shrank away in revulsion from blond hair or from any tendency to wear a lot of make-up.

L never counted himself as normal, and did not think it was in his nature to ever be anything resembling normal.

Yet he knew that his life had eventually normalized, in a way. He'd started the Kira case as one person, and once he'd ended it and recovered from the after-effects, he'd become a different person. He knew he would never be the same L as before.

And that was perfectly fine.

* * *

 **A/N (Author's Note):**

Well, we've finally gotten to the last chapter, after more than a year. I can hardly believe that I once thought I might be done by Christmas 2009, when it is now close to Christmas 2010. I know the last six months have been particularly slow, as has happened with all my fics, and I can only say that writer's block and extreme busyness both hit me unexpectedly.

I want to thank everyone who has been reading updates as they come out for a long time. It takes a lot of patience for readers to keep waiting on an ongoing story, and a lot of faith that it will eventually be finished, since so many fanfics get ultimately abandoned. I've tried to earn your trust, and I hope I've provided an entertaining experience that was worth the risks and waiting.

For any new readers who only read finished fanfics and skipped to the last chapter to read the last chapter's author's note before reading the fic: don't read this note before reading the fic. It will spoil you for the ending and basically all the plot twists (just putting this in here because I've gotten private messages from people who did exactly that and spoiled themselves).

Okay, so anyone still reading this A/N at this point should have read the entire fic so I'll just go ahead and discuss all the spoilers.

I've had this ending planned out since around chapter 6 or so: Misa commits suicide by getting Rem to kill her. At least one person guessed that ending, and I suppose it's not terribly odd because Misa attempts to do so in canon. Rem agreeing is the unusual part, and I hope I showed enough character development and enough development of the situation to make it believable that Rem would kill Misa.

I also wanted to show Misa having abusing relatives, but not abusive in the typical overused (and often overly dramatic) ways of physical or sexual abuse. I wanted something different: emotional abuse and unhealthy power structures, and nothing more. I wanted to show this "merely" emotional abuse as being damaging to Misa (and to others, such as Yumiko) and as being a factor in Misa's craziness and her poor decision-making skills.

Canon Misa isn't stupid. She is actually quite intelligent, but she has some odd ideas and is completely irrational at times, and I've always felt as if her canon backstory (even as tragic and improbable as it is) doesn't completely explain her flaws and her personality.

Speaking of Misa's family, they are the OCs that have been given the largest roles in my fics (though Misa's sister is technically a canon character, she's unnamed, manga-only, and is only mentioned once briefly, never shown, so she is practically an OC too). I usually bring in OCs only for brief appearances and then quickly get rid of them, so this is my first experience in spending a lot of time developing OCs from scratch and then using them for something long-term.

I've found the experience difficult. Canon characters are easier because you can imagine how the character will react to a situation, based on their established personality. OCs don't have anything pre-established, and I've felt as if I was struggling, making mistakes, and having inconsistent characterization the entire time. It was a lot more effort, and I felt less sure of my decisions. I think, in some ways, Yumiko turned out as something of a caricature, but I learned things in building and developing her that I hope will help my from-scratch character-building skills in the future.

Some of the plot twists in later chapters were decided on fairly late in the writing process, and I realized that I'd had it so all the Kiras commit suicide, after I'd already decided on plot twists that made that ending the most logical choice. Three suicides is kind of repetitious and also a bit of a cop-out, since L never ends up putting anyone on trial or proceeding further in the investigation than getting into a stalemate with Rem. I hope that wasn't boring, and that the differing reasons for it helped make up for the repetitiousness: for Light, that L had controlled him to commit suicide, for Mikami, that it was the only way to thwart any attempt at control so he could pull off the world-hostage gambit, and for Misa because her belief in Kira's cause had been shattered in a couple of different ways and she couldn't live with the murders she'd committed.

If you've read to the end, please review if you can. Even if you hated it, you won't damage my ego, and any flaws you point out could very well improve my future writing (though it won't improve this fic, other than cleaning up typos or other minor mistakes, because I've already done enough work on it to be quite tired out and I'm not rewriting any plot twists).

I realize this ending leaves things open for a sequel, either of L pursuing further cases, or of Percy growing up with Rem semi-watching over him, but I do not intend to write any sequel. If anyone else wants to, go ahead; just place a credit to me somewhere on your work.

The possibilities for interquels also exists, such as exactly what Wedy and Aiber did in their failed mission to rescue L and Watari, or telling about events in Wammy's House when L wasn't there, or Matt's adventures fleeing with both death notes, or Mikami's last few days of life having a giant orgy with prostitutes. I might write any of these at some future point, especially if people ask for them, but I'm going to try and finish my other unfinished fics first.

"Fifty Days" has been a long fic, and I've had a lot of fun. I'm going to miss it, now that it's finished.


End file.
